Need Help With Bizarre NetHack

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Need Help With Bizarre NetHack

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Queen-Of-Hearts: Mar 17, 2009; "I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"

Is your spirit animal Jeffrey Dahmer or something?

# ? Feb 19, 2014 16:24

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 4, 2024 22:40

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Stop eating Yellow mold.

# ? Feb 19, 2014 18:49

N. Senada: May 17, 2011; My kidneys are busted

Not even kidding, if you live in Cincinnati still I will meet you in a public place to talk to you. My spouse studied agriculture so I can tell you how to garden better by proxy.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 07:05

Mystic Stylez: Dec 19, 2009

Thread owns

# ? Feb 20, 2014 19:24

Mydonos: May 27, 2013

I cant understand the question but i think you should stop playing that game.

# ? Feb 20, 2014 19:30

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

EMILY BLUNTS posted:

Two Worlds of Warcraft

Well said.

# ? Feb 21, 2014 12:31

deadly_pudding: May 13, 2009; who the fuck is scraeming
"LOG OFF" at my house.
show yourself, coward.
i will never log off

You hear the studio audience applaud!

# ? Feb 21, 2014 14:55

Errant Gin Monks: Oct 2, 2009; "Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch

What is the question? OP you are loving weird and need to not be.

# ? Feb 21, 2014 16:41

Viva Miriya: Jan 9, 2007

You should invest in a exit bag and punch out forever OP.

# ? Feb 21, 2014 20:01

Xile77: Sep 18, 2003; <img alt="" border="0" src="https://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/customtitles/title-xile77.jpg" /><br />I love my fellow semen

N. Senada posted:

Not even kidding, if you live in Cincinnati still I will meet you in a public place to talk to you. My spouse studied agriculture so I can tell you how to garden better by proxy.

I haven't been to Findlay Market in a while...

# ? Feb 22, 2014 02:07

serious norman: Dec 13, 2007; im pickle rick!!!!

chaos rhames posted:

First off you should try Dungeon Crawl, it's a much better game.

Wrong.

# ? Feb 22, 2014 22:00

Wrestlepig: Feb 25, 2011; my mum says im cool; Toilet Rascal

You're wrong.

# ? Feb 22, 2014 22:26

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

Aestu posted:

I purchased an account here on SA because it seemed the appropriate place to discuss my rather strange NetHack-related life issue. I want to establish that the facts are as I state them here - this is a life issue I'm dealing with.

I made it through college without ever getting laid. I'm fairly attractive, and girls came onto me on more than a few occasions, but I was young and confused and insecure, so I never took them up on it, despite wanting sex. I did my undergraduate degree in Classical Studies and my graduate degree in Accounting - this is characteristic of my personality. I had a year off before grad school started, so I got on SeekingArrangement and had a series of encounters with a very attractive, very pneumatic Jamaican girl in nursing school. She was really incredible by any measure - not merely as my first.

The experience was beneficial in that it helped me overcome my insecurity and become more of a man. Of course, I enjoyed it greatly. Over the next few months, I had a series of encounters with a diverse cast of other women (with protection), which served to reinforce my preference.

I did my undergraduate studies in Boston then moved to Cincinnati both because I had a scholarship at UC and because of the extortionate cost of renting on the Coasts and how cheap it is to buy a really nice house here (in a lovely part of the country).

I dislike dating because I find it time-intensive and generally obnoxious - of course, other people may enjoy it - and more than that, between work, school, study and hobbies, my life is very busy these days. Having to sit around the house now and then to sign for packages is a killer for me. So I decided I wanted a live-in girlfriend, one from Jamaica or the Dominican Republic or maybe sub-Saharan Africa. American women, of whatever race, just don't do it for me - the culture just doesn't jive.

Where NetHack comes in is... During my nine months' off between finishing college and gradschool, I was incidentally introduced to the game of NetHack. In 2012. I missed the boat, I know. Regardless, I found the fun, open-ended, challenging, brain-dependent game very, very compelling. I don't care for modern games.

I have a number of hobbies and things I want to do, including planting a garden, becoming an author, doing some home improvement, etc. Perhaps the biggest part of why I want a live-in is... For the longest time, I've felt I would be more motivated, more focused, if I had a regular sex partner, without the time and energy burden of dating, and available at hand whenever I would have need.

Now, those who have played NetHack know of the foocubus, how it is useful for randomly increasing a high-intelligence character's attributes through fornication. I started to identify with that role, imagine myself as an archaeologist (given my strong background in Classical Studies) being stripped naked and fornicating with a foocubus in the dank corridors of the Dungeons of Doom. I have to confess, I'm giggling to myself right now just because it's so, so strange.

It's not even that I particularly want to act out this fantasy - it's not even really a fantasy. It's a mental image I can't push out of my head. I felt compelled to write it down - to seek insight on my predicament.

All of which brings me to the issue of my wireless router.

# ? Feb 23, 2014 07:54

Parsley: Jul 17, 2012

I think I understand what you're getting at, OP.
People that date don't get emotionally invested in the relationship, they just do it for fun, y'know?

# ? Feb 23, 2014 14:28

Mercury_Storm: Jun 12, 2003; *chomp chomp chomp*

Guessing that the OP finally remembered to take their meds, and got really embarrassed after realizing they posted this thread.

# ? Feb 24, 2014 17:41

xov: Nov 14, 2005; DNA Ts. Rednum or F. Raf

Mercury_Storm posted:

Guessing that the OP finally remembered to take their meds, and got really embarrassed after realizing they posted this thread.

He's online right now... he should come back and give us an update, or some more words, or something.

Don't leave us! :cry:

# ? Feb 24, 2014 22:58

El Spamo: Aug 21, 2003; Fuss and misery

Angband is better.

# ? Feb 24, 2014 23:33

Grandmother of Five: May 9, 2008; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

El Spamo posted:

Angband is better.

Wrong. It's actually worse.

# ? Feb 24, 2014 23:48

Aestu: Feb 17, 2014; by zen death robot

If you really want to get lunch at a restaurant along McMicken south of UC, you can send me a PM. I promise to not sexually assault your dog.

# ? Feb 28, 2014 22:12

Herstory Begins Now: Aug 5, 2003; SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>

N. Senada posted:

Not even kidding, if you live in Cincinnati still I will meet you in a public place to talk to you. My spouse studied agriculture so I can tell you how to garden better by proxy.

You're going to end up his foocubus

# ? Mar 1, 2014 07:00

cruft: Oct 25, 2007

Goldmine thread custom title OP.

# ? May 30, 2014 00:03

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

What

# ? Jun 11, 2014 22:26

EB Nulshit: Apr 12, 2014; It was more disappointing (and surprising) when I found that even most of Manhattan isn't like Times Square.

you should go to the feelies with the pneumatic lady

# ? Jun 13, 2014 04:53

xutech: Mar 4, 2011; EIIST

A gram is better than a drat.

# ? Jun 13, 2014 07:37

Kimmalah: Nov 14, 2005; Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

Paper Lion posted:

What makes a black lady pneumatic I really wanna know

I still can't figure out what pneumatic even means (or what the OP thinks it means) in terms of personality. Is she literally just powered by air pressure?

# ? Jun 13, 2014 08:26

Swan Oat: Oct 9, 2012; I was selected for my skill.

Pneumatic can also mean large-breasted, because of the bouncing. Thanks Aldous Huxley!

# ? Jun 13, 2014 08:48

Pope Guilty: Nov 6, 2006; The human animal is a beautiful and terrible creature, capable of limitless compassion and unfathomable cruelty.

Swan Oat posted:

Pneumatic can also mean large-breasted, because of the bouncing. Thanks Aldous Huxley!

I figured it was just used because of the general cult of industry in that society.

# ? Jun 13, 2014 08:57

Kimmalah: Nov 14, 2005; Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.

Swan Oat posted:

Pneumatic can also mean large-breasted, because of the bouncing. Thanks Aldous Huxley!

Oh so it's even worse and dumber than I thought. Neat.

# ? Jun 13, 2014 16:49

Shooting Blanks: Jun 6, 2007; Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade

This might be the most confusing post I've ever seen in A/T.

# ? Jun 14, 2014 02:59

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

cruft posted:

Goldmine thread custom title OP.

# ? Jun 15, 2014 04:31

Eminent Domain: Sep 23, 2007

cruft posted:

Goldmine thread custom title OP.

It's only going to go downhill from here, do it.

# ? Jun 15, 2014 08:35

moller: Jan 10, 2007; Swan stole my music and framed me!

So the very first justification given for why he needs a live-in girlfriend is to sign for his packages? And she has to be afro-caribbean? I'm just trying to make sure I'm understanding.

# ? Jun 16, 2014 22:59

sebmojo: Oct 23, 2010; Legit Cyberpunk

Paper Lion posted:

What makes a black lady pneumatic I really wanna know

boobs

(bat, orc, orc, bat, snake)

he's saying they were voodoo witches summoning evil minions

# ? Jun 18, 2014 00:52

The Gay Bean: Apr 19, 2004

I think you might want to consider making a gardening roguelike.

# ? Jun 18, 2014 01:39

The Third Man: Nov 5, 2005; I know how much you like ponies so I got you a ponies avatar bro

at the date posted:

Love is but a false
construct; rather, give me a
pneumatic negress.

# ? Jun 18, 2014 03:11

Straker: Nov 10, 2005

1) that was one of the weirdest things I've ever read on these forums

2) I have an actual pneumatic negress who is almost always available, you can have sex pretty easily without dating, but it did nothing for my motivation. You have a masters/phd/whatever in accounting of all the boring things, what more motivation do you need?

# ? Jun 18, 2014 06:24

my kinda ape: Sep 15, 2008; Everything's gonna be A-OK; Oven Wrangler

The Gay Bean posted:

I think you might want to consider making a gardening roguelike.

I'd play the gently caress out of this. OP get to work.

# ? Jun 18, 2014 08:08

emoji: Jun 4, 2004

Neo Duckberg posted:

All of which brings me to the issue of my wireless router.

Hey all, Matt here. My sobriety date is never. To sum things up I am simply an alcoholic, addict piece of crap. I struggle to feed, dress, and bath myself. I sometimes brush my teeth once a week if that, because I see no point. I am alone. I always have been. I some times free myself from the void via exotic designer drugs. I have been to diffrent dimensions � I have seen the entitys that inhabit them. I�ve had dialogues with trees and I know it was real.

I began my drug career in 2nd grade when my friend Clem insisted we smoke weed while riding our bikes to school. From there I started doing coke and other hard drugs, Im pretty sure tghat by 10th grade I had alreadt been on the DMT voyage,. I struggle to get out of bed and facing the day ahead of me makes me want to die. Taking the bread out of a bag, puitting meat & lettuce on it, and some condiments like mayo, mustard etc feels like it takes an eternity so I usually find myself starving while I glue myself to my TV, its way to late into the next day already so I go to Taco Bell before it closes. My desk is marely but a surface on which I cut/grind whatever Pills I have available into a snortable powder.

All this leads me to this trouble Ive been expereiencing with my network card � I am unable to find the drivers for it. If any goons could lend some experience, I am all ears. Thanks.

# ? Jun 18, 2014 09:29

moller: Jan 10, 2007; Swan stole my music and framed me!

ghetto wormhole posted:

I'd play the gently caress out of this. OP get to work.

I'd say dwarf fortress counts as a gardening roguelike. A more focused one might be cool though, although it would feel a whole lot like a spreadsheet.

# ? Jun 18, 2014 09:39

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# ? May 4, 2024 22:40

wafna: Aug 21, 2007

OP, you're not making sense. Foocubi as such don't exist, they're either succubi or incubi. Decide first on what you want. They sometimes steal your gold or have headaches.

You haven't posted your stats. Charisma, for instance? What is your current dungeon level? do you have enough food? If you just wait for them to spawn, at the very least you'll starve or something can show up and devour you.

Are you planning to do this in vanilla NH? What is your pet? Why not nymphs?

# ? Jun 18, 2014 11:22

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