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 Welcome to EVE Online, the Spaceship Sandbox Simulator MMO! TABLE OF CONTENTS 1a. What is EVE Online? 1b. General EVE FAQ 2a. GoonSwarm Federation (GoonWaffe Recruitment Drive 2014!) 2b. Other Goon Alliances 3. GoonSwarm Federation in the News 4. Latest EVE Expansion Information What is EVE Online? Eve Online is the greatest Sci-Fi simulator in existence. It's the single biggest virtual world ever created. It's a sociopathic bloodbath in space and it is a playpen for the strong, ready-stocked with the naive and foolish upon whom to prey. It is also a place where you can join up with thousands of your fellow Goons, some of them joining alongside you, some of them having played for years. We'll give you the ships to fly, the skills to train, the mentors to show you what to do and the Fleet Commanders to lead you to victory. You are cossetted from the moment you join Goonwaffe to the moment you discover girls and leave. Together, we wreak havoc upon our enemies, conquering regions of the game and tossing our enemies out of the places they called their homes. We create events so big that the press - gaming and traditional - write about us. Sometimes on purpose and sometimes not: when we fought (rather unwisely) in a system called Asakai we ended up with three thousand people in a single battle, killing and losing eye-watering numbers of ships. Mostly losing in that case but we'll gloss over that. To make up for our stupidity in Asakai, our amazing victories in 6VDT-H and B-R5RB have become tales that will be told for years to come (and in the news!) Why is EVE Special? Eve is unique. It's dark and dangerous; beautiful and spiteful: an MMO without the training wheels. Eve is driven by the players and by the stories we make. No game fosters grudges and conflict like Eve. We fought a five year war - a five year war we won against the strongest forces in the game spanning most of the Eve universe and involving as many as a hundred thousand players at one time or another - because of one ill-advised attack on us in 2006. That war touched the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, but it will probably be dwarfed in scale by our next great war. In Eve, you share a single game world with half a million other characters, each with a person behind them. Players make pretty much everything in the game, taking resources from asteroids, planets and moons to make the ships in which we fight and the stations over which we go to war. You train skills offline, so there is no grind. Anyone who undocks their spaceship is fair game for PvP, and the scale and ambition of the game - ships tens of kilometres long; a universe of thousands of planets, many thousands of light years across and so on - is staggering. Eve is a like nothing else you can play. I'm a Returning Player: Why Should I sign Up? Eve is now a Very Good Game and extremely fun. For years, in these recruitment threads, we used to say that Eve was a bad game but that Goons made it fun. The amazing thing is that CCP have managed to fix Eve Online. The lag that used to make fleet fights unplayable is managed with their time dilation technology so that a thousand-man fight is nothing out of the ordinary, with your ship and its weapons responsive and smooth. Supercapitals have been fixed: gone are the days of unbalanced, area-effect doomsdays and invulnerable supercarriers. Now, subcapitals are almost immune to supercapitals, which instead need their smaller brethren for support. The "T1" ships that take days to learn to fly - cruisers and frigates - have been rebalanced and made, frankly, brilliant fun. We have a fleet appropriately named "gently caress You Fleet" which takes the idea of a newbie jammer/tackler and adds a different level of "gently caress You" by being used to ~dampen~ logistics ships and other combat ships. This means it takes longer for them to lock and "heal" which means that damage ships will chew through the enemy before logistics can assist or reducing the range at which logistics can lock on which means they can't even repair at all! For you people that like shooting things we're running a fleet referred to as "Harpyfleet" which is a Caldari assault frigate. And for you super cute newbies that have heard of our tales of Rifter supremacy we've moved onto the Slasher which is a rifter on steroids. Newbies can hop into this bad boy and get their tackle on/shooting on in just a few days. For you space white knights there are also logistics frigates you can hop into and help "heal" your fleet! There is a ship for whatever you might like to do in EVE Online and in GoonWaffe! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fHkIl32qnM The game is visually gorgeous now, with CCP having enhanced both graphics and sound to make Eve into a stunning-looking experience. Take a look at this recent trailer for the game to see the level of detail that has been added. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5Xs14OBPoQ Is There Some Sort Of Manual? Why yes, there is! I'm glad you asked that! In the absence of any useful documentation of the game at all, Goons have created the finest manual ever seen in Eve Online. GoonWaffe Newbie Guide 2013 In addition to this GoonWaffe has a team of mentors whose job it is to guide you through your first days and weeks in the game, and squads who will take you under their wings as you develop. If you hang out in the Goonswarm jabber server you will always have help and advice at hand, while our forums and wiki are unparalleled in the world of MMOs. Your ships will be handed to you at first and, as you decide to fly more varied and advanced hulls, your losses will be paid for. The Goonswarm Federation is perhaps the wealthiest alliance in the game, and they spend it all on our members. Can I play for free There are two main ways to pay for your account. One is to pay money as normal. The other is to use in-game currency to buy a month's subscription from someone who has paid cash for it with an item called a Pilot's Extension License or commonly referred to as PLEX. They get in-game money, and you get to play for another month. Scam someone for a billion ISK - not an unusual amount - and you can play for a couple of months and have money left over for some new ships. Fuckin' a' man I want to play for free how can I get enough space cheddar to do that? There are many avenues out there as a newbee to help you make money. If you end up joining GoonWaffe, take the time to view the Home Economics forum and find a method that works best for you. Some of the more common ways to make money are listed below - keep in mind that not all of them are newbie friendly but it shows you the scope of just what all you can do to get money. See our Chief Jewru Aryth's sticky post in Home Economics for more details: Method | Sp Requirements | Capital Requirements | Scaling | Baseline Hours per Month 1. PI | Newbie SP | 50M | 5 Chars for a few billion tops before effort limited | 4 Hours/Month Per Char 2. Scamming | No SP | No ISK | Very limited scaling 3. Ratting | Moderate SP | 300M | Scales well with isboxer/afktars to 10 4. Mining | Moderate SP | 100M | Scales to 50-100 Chars 5. PLEXIN | High-SP/&or/MultipleChars | 500M-1B of ships | Scales to 3 chars 6. Wormholes | High-SP/&or/MultipleChars | 1-2B in Ships | Scales to 10+ chars 7. Arbitrage (Import/Export) | Ultra Low SP/High Standings - several alts | 1b scales to Market size 8. Production | Variable SP | 100M-20B | Scales to trillions 9. Invention | High SP | 1B | Scales to 200B or so 10. Reactions | Low SP | 10B | Scales to trillion or 100 towers whichever comes first | 8 Hours per Month 11. Margin Trading | Low SP, High Standings | 2B | Scales to 10's of billions | 10 Hours a Month 12. Character Arbitrage | No SP | 10B | Scales to 100's of Billions | 20+ Hours a Month 13. Manip/Spec | Ultra Low SP/High Standings | 30-50B | Scales to 10s of trillions What is the grind like? You improve your character by setting a skill and letting it train away, even if you are offline. While you sleep, your character is training up for your next ship. No ten hour sessions camping a spawn spot to level up. Where can I find out the latest news about what is going on in EVE Online? Goonswarm Federation alliance leader, The Mittani, launched an EVE News site that has quickly become the #1 EVE news site in the World. Known for quality, ungoony writing (lol) and a wide range of gaming topics it has everything to get you up to speed on what is going on in EVE or any of the more popular online games. http://www.themittani.com Are there any trials so that I can try the game out? Why yes I am glad you asked - you can try the game for 21 days by clicking one of these three links: https://secure.eveonline.com/trial/?invc=c037628d-dbab-49bc-830d-b15053a7e236&action=buddy https://secure.eveonline.com/trial/?invc=db6b7b5b-76c1-43f3-b0db-0ad1d66b58a8&action=buddy https://secure.eveonline.com/trial/?invc=06492afd-b20b-4caf-953d-a8d28f86ca13&action=buddy ~Print throughout these OPs is courtesy of Endie, our most excellent post er~ vyst fucked around with this message at 14:56 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 14:29
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Goon-centric EVE Online Alliances Goonswarm Federation: GoonWaffe  GoonWaffe Recruitment Drive 2014! “Then I heard another voice from heaven say: ‘Woe! Woe to you, great city, you mighty city of Babylon! In one hour your doom has come!’ “The merchants who sold these things and gained their wealth from her will stand far off, terrified at her torment… They will weep and mourn and cry out.” – Rev 18 It is time for a new GoonWaffe Eve Online newbie drive: your chance to join the longest-lasting and most successful alliance in Eve, in Goon MMO history, and possibly in the annals of MMOs, ever since a geek first said to another geek "nice +1 sword noob". And to baptize you in viciously sadistic fun from the very beginning of your Eve career, we are laying on the most destructive period of sustained brutality against helpless, unprotected but extremely voluble victims in the history of the game. The biggest player-created MMO event ever, with thirty thousand willing participants and a hundred thousand clueless, hapless and extremely unwilling marks. If you join up today, you have time – just – to join in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCey4p_8oKI Why Should I Join GoonWaffe? You can have little idea how horrible it is to play with pubbies. Really. Playing with people to whom "fail" is an adjective, the apostrophe a tool to denote plurals, and homophones some sort of obscure slur is bad enough, but they will also see you as little more than a source of taxes and, if they have forums, you should expect sufficient cat pictures to gag a 4channer. Join GoonWaffe and you will be a Goon amongst thousands of Goons. Yes, most of the rest of the game will by turns despise, hate and fear you, but Eve is a lot more fun when played to the accompaniment of some horrible publord explaining on the official forums how you are the cancer that is killing the game. Preferably because you scammed him out of hundreds of dollars' worth of ships. We and our allies hold most of the universe, including most of the best and richest space in the game. The rest of the game, admittedly, wishes to destroy us and take everything we have, but that has been the case for three years, and every attempt has failed thus far. Big changes to the game are on the way, however, and it's impossible to tell where we will be in a few months' time! The Mittani's ISK 4 PVP Program Space socialism is the vanguard of our people, and keeps goons flying in space for free. However, after doing a survey of our membercorps, I've realized to my horror that Goonwaffe is lagging behind our membercorps in showering isk and PLEX upon Lowtax's Chosen People. This cannot stand. I've looked at the tax revenue which our AFKtars have brought to the alliance coffers and, after discussing this with Finance and Reimb, I'm delighted to announce the following perks: Effective immediately, all Goonwaffe members will enjoy a 100% reimbursement bonus on all subcapital reimbursement, peacetime or strategic, in addition to the alliance rate. That means that if a Waffe member loses a Harpy, not only will he receive the current standard 45m isk reimbursement which is the alliance default, he will also receive an additional 45m isk from the corp: you will literally profit from PvP, not merely PvP for free. This brings Waffe reimbursements in line with the existing membercorp bonus reimbursements which are handled at a corp level. In addition, to encourage fleet participation at the Waffe level, we will be giving one PLEX at the end of each month to the top 25 Waffe participants in fleets, based on pap links. This is similar to many existing membercorp programs. GoonWaffe FAQ: IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING NOT COVERED HERE EMAIL newbies@goonfleet.com What are the requirements to join GoonWaffe? 1. Are you an active poster of the SomethingAwful community? If you think you are, you're probably not and you should post more. 2. Do you have a SomethingAwful account of at least 3 months in age? 3. Were you banned/probated for some creepy MRA/Furry/Rape poo poo? Yes we kinkshame here so   Ok, I'm not a J4G, I want into Goonwaffe. Now what? Go read this helpful wiki entry, and it will guide you through the steps to join! Are you Vacationed and want to come back to GoonWaffe?? (This means your forum group says Vacationer on GF.com) First you need to do the following: -Go to https://auth.goonfleet.com/manage and update your API key with an active API After that do this: -Email newbies@goonfleet.com with the subject line Please Un-Vacation Me! -Include your goonfleet forum account name as well as your SomethingAwful account name in the email -Feel free to post in this thread, however it is optional and email will get a quicker response. -DO NOT APPLY IN GAME UNTIL YOU RECEIVE A RESPONSE VIA EMAIL I REPEAT:  Against All The Odds I'm In Now What? Yet again, there is a wiki page full of helpful advice. Key amongst these is to follow the advice on how to crack Eve's unwillingness to let you talk to others and open the GS_Help channel. Any Other Advice? Don't be a solipsist: let Goons help you. Don't try and work it out alone. Most especially, get someone to help you get into a fight: a fleet fight or a suicide gank or just about anything. Get some kills and you'll find it hard to stop. I'm having trouble with the registration process! CCP changed the API interface with the addition of 'vCodes' and this may reveal some bugs in our registration process. If you are having problems email newbies@goonfleet.com with a detailed description of who the gently caress you are (goonfleet Username, SA username) and what the problem is. ------------------------------- GROON (The Greater Goon) If GoonWaffe is the place to be for epic fleet fights, political backstabbing, and general metagaming hijinks, Groon is the place for kicking back and doing whatever you want while giving no fucks about any of that. We don't have any stakes in anything remotely similar to Serious Eve Business and don't intend to do so, ever. Groon was, is, and will always be a place where goons can count on being welcome to hang out and shoot random people with no matter how new to eve or how bittervet they are. What we love doing most of all is gathering some folks to roam around with to shoot random dudes in the evegoon spiritual home of Syndicate where we live; the average Groon fleets are way smaller than you'd see with GoonFleet, 15-20 being typical. We mix things up with several kinds of fleets to fly with, below are a few examples of fights we've gotten into lately. http://droog.rwpcomputers.com/?a=kill_related&kll_id=35558 http://droog.rwpcomputers.com/?a=kill_related&kll_id=35652 http://droog.rwpcomputers.com/?a=kill_related&kll_id=35613 (oh also our killboard autoposts pve losses because we like laughing at hilarious lossmails more than we care about MY K/D EFFICIENCY) Newbies to eve are welcome and showered with ships, skillbooks, love, and bodily fluids. Since we don't have any Serious Business to worry about, we also don't care about having strict entry requirements - no postcount or joindate shenanigans required, if you can post in this thread you can join. Joining us is real easy and everything you need is right here: http://greatergoon.com/showthread.php?t=1470 vyst fucked around with this message at 04:33 on Apr 26, 2015 |
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Feb 18, 2014 14:29
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Current Events - GoonSwarm Federation in the News: Ugh I've been gone for like 2 years what happened last year in politics? http://themittani.com/features/2013-eve-online-year-review http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrk-tHMgg_i8KQe2y437GF7mnMxm_3on_ --------------------------------------------------------------- A Profile on Our Glorious CEO, The Mittani - http://i.imgur.com/V5CncGL.jpg --------------------------------------------------------------- 2014: The Battle of B-R5RB - The Epic Online Space Battle That Cost Gamers $300,000 http://www.wired.com/gamelife/2014/02/eve-online-battle-of-b-r/ http://themittani.com/features/largest-virtual-battle-ever  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCK-E5AopVI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvB2nRGMl2c --------------------------------------------------------------- 2013: The Battle of 6VDT- At the time, was the largest online battle with over 4000 participants. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23489293 http://themittani.com/features/6vdt-cfc-battle-report   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chtHHKlrXm8 --------------------------------------------------------------- State of the Goonions: 2014: GoonSwarm Federation Invades N3 - http://themittani.com/news/state-goonion-goonswarm-invades-n3 2013: The Invasion of Fountain - http://themittani.com/news/war-cfc-invades-fountain vyst fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 14:29
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Current EVE Online Expansion: New and cool poo poo with this expansion: Encounter Surveillance System: http://www.eveonline.com/rubicon/features/encounter-surveillance-system/ Mobile Structures: http://www.eveonline.com/rubicon/features/mobile-structures/ New Sisters of EVE Exploration Faction Ships: http://www.eveonline.com/rubicon/features/soe-ships/ Warp Speed Changes: http://www.eveonline.com/rubicon/features/warp-changes/ New Sites for ISK: http://www.eveonline.com/rubicon/features/ghost-sites/ A Bunch of UI Changes: http://www.eveonline.com/rubicon/features/rubicon-additional-features/ ------------------------------ RIP Vile Rat I would be remiss as a Goon and a person to not take some post space to remember our fallen comrade Sean Smith, aka Vile Rat.  http://themittani.com/news/rip-vile-rat Forever in our hearts and prayers. vyst fucked around with this message at 14:38 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 14:29
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Burt posted:Very nice. You missed the bit about not calling people shitlords though. I don't insultshame.
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Feb 18, 2014 14:41
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I keep saying I am going to train into a dread but I'm so goddamn poor.
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Feb 18, 2014 15:14
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Angela Christine posted:You need to start taking bribes. But I am space honourabru. 
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Feb 18, 2014 15:21
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As much as I love interceptors, the Cheetah will always be my ship of choice to zip around the galaxy. 
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Feb 18, 2014 16:02
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Uba Stij posted:Going to solicit my nullsec recap videos on TMC and ask that they be added to the OP, we need that sweet sweet YouTube money. I linked one article of yours but I'll be happy to do more if they are decent. Link them
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Feb 18, 2014 16:18
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Uba Stij posted:This is a playlist of the past five months of nullsec recap vids - http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrk-tHMgg_i8KQe2y437GF7mnMxm_3on_ I added that playlist to the media part of the OP 
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Feb 18, 2014 17:06
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Maneck posted:While this text is not inaccurate, a caution might be worthwhile. It is unrealistic to expect to earn enough to pay for account time in game for the first 4-5 months. Most goons earn their Plexs via Plexing (no.5), but they do so via ships that can be run afk. Of all of the items in that list, only scamming (no. 2) and PI (no. 1) are doable by newbies and PI will not pay for an account immediately. Plan to scam, or plan to pay to play. I already put a specific note Some of the more common ways to make money are listed below - keep in mind that not all of them are newbie friendly but it shows you the scope of just what all you can do to get money. You dumbshit.
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Feb 18, 2014 19:42
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nullEntityRNG posted:Bolded for emphasis. Why would you even have this. Why. Come on man. Just because it's there doesn't mean I recommend it. But in all honesty a lot of dudes mine and they're cool with it. I mean as long as they are making money and keep playing in the name of the swarm gently caress if I care how they get isk.
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Feb 18, 2014 19:58
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Maneck posted:Thanks! You're right. They usually can't. But warning them that they can't might steer them clear of the game in general rather than just trying it out a least.
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Feb 18, 2014 20:18
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QuarkJets posted:
It's directly from Aryth's Home Economics list so take it up with him.
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Feb 19, 2014 02:44
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The OP doesn't mention Exploration as a Newbie SP way of making money
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smg77 posted:And that it doesn't start with A. Fun fact I used to go on fleets all the time and I was never primaried. Just goes to show you that I'm useless even playing EVE online.
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Feb 19, 2014 04:49
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Angela Christine posted:Oh, oh no. What happened to your avatar? I don't know. Generally speaking on any given week I get a new avatar from someone.
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Feb 19, 2014 04:52
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I'll make a caveat to the rule that if they are dumb enough to drop one of the "benchmarks" in their lovely intro posts like "looking forward to joining in 3 months or once i get 100 posts". You are authorized to scam the gently caress out of them. But if they are just saying hi or are being all newbie-ish leave em alone.
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Feb 19, 2014 14:46
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i do cocaine posted:
My avatar changes weekly, I've gotten to the point where I don't even pay attention to it.
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Feb 19, 2014 14:54
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Auth Team is recruiting - https://goonfleet.com/index.php/topic/190157-rejection-hotline-goonwaffe-auth-team-recruiting/
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Feb 19, 2014 16:35
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InternetJunky posted:If my application to Goonwaffe is rejected do I get some in-game notification? This game makes me feel like the stupidest of newbies. You have to accept the invite to corp now I believe. Just check your corporation window.
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Feb 19, 2014 19:02
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The phrase autism chariot is really old but goddamn it still makes me laugh.
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Feb 21, 2014 17:30
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Not going to lie that dude going from I swear i'm not a j4g to please let me apply to gently caress this game sucks I remember now was awesome.
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Feb 23, 2014 18:28
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I unironically miss drakes
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Feb 23, 2014 21:42
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Vaga posted:Ok, I'll admit I j4g. But man these forums are awesome, I can't believe I've never heard of them before so many good discussions going on. Yes, just go ahead and start flying to VFK and we can hold your stuff for you.
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Feb 24, 2014 20:39
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Rhymenoserous posted:Is it time for a FoF meltdown over the definition of "Teenager" now? Now we're talking. 
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Feb 26, 2014 20:03
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bonewitch posted:He multiboxes 20+ ratting carriers everyday for 8 hours. He also has at least two titans, probably more. "multiboxes"
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Mar 1, 2014 16:14
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That bee doesn't have enough teenager style facial pubes to be representative of The Mittani
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Mar 3, 2014 16:28
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The Leper Colon V posted:Well drat. And here I was, hoping I could go back to being terrible ASAP. Well here let me just expedite your poo poo ASAP Mr. Important. I mean I'd hate for you to have to wait longer than a fuckin hour since you emailed you mook bitch.
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Mar 3, 2014 18:05
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Germstore posted:Eve is an MMO, so I don't get the hate for "toon." There are far better, more adult terms for the character you play in EVE online. Don't be a child.
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Mar 3, 2014 20:36
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I like how that dude is sperging so hard about my response. I'm pretty sure I was as mature and level headed as you can get with my post and he just notched up that righteous indignation like I dishonored his family.
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Mar 3, 2014 23:59
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I actually miss cap chains and flying my Basilisk. It was like a special sector of non-retarded people in a fleet to do cap chains and reps.
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Mar 4, 2014 05:46
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PerrineClostermann posted:If it's any comfort to you, GBS has a lot of SJWs in it these days. Yea but it's hard to sniff out the non ironic ones to troll because it's 99% poo poo posts.
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Mar 5, 2014 00:06
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deadtear posted:https://goonfleet.com/index.php/topic/152933-ban-bfm-ban-dbrb/ The creepiest part of that situation is how ok the dad was and was basically pimping his daughter out.
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Mar 5, 2014 02:50
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There's not a facepalm big enough for this poo poo.
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Mar 6, 2014 03:11
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orange juche posted:Which poo poo, the Cerebral Wolf poo poo? Or some auth related garbage? The former.
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Mar 6, 2014 03:20
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Seditiar posted:Goddamn this is so awesome. The Hyperion Aliastra Edition looks so loving beautiful! Call me when I can paint goatse on my ship.
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Mar 6, 2014 17:50
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Just fyi sigma owns simply because I'm one of the squad leaders and I'm awesome.
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Mar 7, 2014 00:21
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Kheldragar posted:Honestly, though, does Sigma still exist? I never see anyone claim to be one of them or hear about them at all. Of course we exist. We are the best posting squad in goonfleet.
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Mar 7, 2014 00:35
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Gihon posted:A TEST diplo was banned from BNI's jabber today for deliberately trolling newbies. I hope it was Viktor Valliance because he's an actual human piece of poo poo.
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Mar 7, 2014 04:10
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| # ¿ May 22, 2024 06:12 |
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Leo Showers posted:I've been waiting until I could get to my computer to do this. This made me lol so hard it's going in the OP.
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Mar 7, 2014 14:23
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