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Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
:siren:Shut the gently caress up about your kink, no-one cares. Goons ignore Kink posters, don't engage them report and move on.:siren:


Thank RGBRIOT for writing the OP I stole:


There are several goons who are fairly knowledgeable about sex related things, and have shown themselves more than happy to help answer questions. This is the thread for that.

That being said, there's no substitute for a real professional. Should any of your questions be a serious health risk nature, please do us all a favor. Don't bother asking your questions here, seek the help of a professional. No one's well being should be decided by internet users. You know we're mostly a bunch of assholes right?

Lastly, save the bullshit. People need to feel comfortable to talk about this subject, and as such we'd like to provide at least a modicum of respect and civility. If you can't be respectful to posters, then you had better be hilarious in your disrespect.


Related Threads as of 3.5.14:

Birth Control Megathread
- Compare notes and maybe even girlie parts with other users to find the best BC option for you and your love oven. This is also where you can go to ask if you are pregnant.

That's about it, goons ruin everything.

Some Frequently Asked Questions

Condoms
We all dislike them, and we all know why we should use them. The good news is they’re not inch-thick rubber socks anymore. You can get brands that are thin and still reliable, such as Crown and Kimono. Even if you have a micro penis or a dick like Sarah Jessica Parker (So HUGE!), there are condoms for you. Several companies even offer custom sized condoms, or specific fitting kits. Google custom fit condoms for more info.

If you’re allergic to latex, there are great new options like Lifestyles Skyn. Just remember to note: You can’t combine oil-based lube with latex condoms and goatskin condoms don’t prevent STDs.

Should you need further assistance with picking out the best brand for your needs, mention where you live (generally speaking) as some brands are only sold in certain countries. Also,
Conveniently, here is a ton of info.


Lube
There are a ton of good options for lube out there. Using it is normal and doesn't mean there is something wrong with either you or your SO.

Here's a general run down of lube types, issues, and uses:

Water-based lube is safe with condoms, but watch out for anything that contains glycerin, which can cause yeast infections if it goes near a vulva. Oil-based lubes aren’t a great idea since they can’t be used with condoms. Silicone lubes can’t be used with silicone toys, but are a good (and very slippery) option for almost anything else. We get a lot of recommendations for Maximus (which is thicker and ideal for anal), Liquid Silk (thinner version of the same), and Gun Oil. Several other goons have also recommended Swiss Navy and Pjur for general use. (Is that the correct spelling?)


”I am a virgin. Should I tell him/her?”

DO NOT POST THIS. It always starts a ridiculous debate that ends up saying the same thing over and over again. In order to skip that circlejerk here’s a simple form to let you know how to handle this situation.

Step 1: Did they ask?
NO: Keep your mouth shut.
YES: Be honest.

Step 2: Do you have a good reason to tell them?
NO: Keep your mouth shut.
YES: Be honest.

Example of a good reason to tell them: “I’m an extreme hemophiliac and my hymen is thicker than the hull of the USS Nimitz. There will be blood.”


I want to try anal sex! What should I know?

- First, the receptive partner should empty their bowels and then clean up until s/he feels comfortable. Showering is fine. Some people use warm-water enemas, which is also okay. Do NOT use Fleet enemas, purchased enemas, or anything else with anything but water.

- Lots of lube should be used; thicker lubes are usually recommended. A good amount of time should be spent warming up the anus. This means working up slowly with one lubed finger, and slowly adding fingers until your partner is loosened up enough. Finally, insertion should be very slow. Take your time and don’t rush anything. The receiving party should be in control of the insertion as they are best equipped to know how their rear end in a top hat is handling it.

- Don’t put any pressure or heavy expectations on this -- it’s not necessarily a one-hour or one-day project. If it takes weeks to work up from fingers to toys to a penis, that’s totally fine.


“I can’t come during vaginal sex” (male)
Stop masturbating and watching porn. If you have been jerking off regularly for a while, you may have desensitized your penis. Your hand can give a lot more pressure/force/speed than anything else. The good news is that if you cut out masturbation and porn for a couple of weeks, your penis will regain its sensitivity. If you’ve already tried that, try it for longer. Seriously.


“I can’t come from vaginal sex” (female)
Are you comfortable? Mentally calm? Have you ever come from vaginal stimulation on your own? Everyone comes differently and in different ways; it’s normal to need something specific, and it’s normal for penis-in-vagina sex not to work on its own. If you don’t come from vaginal penetration alone, that’s incredibly normal and totally okay. While having PIV sex, you can always rub your clit, use a toy, or whatever else at the same time -- or beforehand or afterward! Communicate with your partner about what feels good, how you usually come, etc. Try not to stress.


“I can’t come from oral sex” (male or female)
Lots of people have difficulty orgasming from oral sex, especially at first. First, you have to be able to provide your partner with feedback about what is working and what is not. If something feels good, be sure to give some kind of feed back. Likewise, if you need your partner to do less of something or go softer, tell them. Communication is the most important part of sex. Finally, relax. You really have to let yourself go and not worry about anything, including taking too long to cum.


What are some good tips for giving oral sex to a woman?
Communication! Be sure to ask if you don't have a clue as to what to do... and perhaps even if you think you do. That being said, here's a few guidelines:
- Start slow. The clitoris is generally pretty sensitive. If you jump right in like it's your penis you're going to overwhelm her.
- Many women enjoy penetration while being eaten out. If your SO is that type it may be rather pleasurable to finger her vagina or rear end in a top hat.
- Don't prescribe to a methodology. There is no specific set of buttons to press, knobs to turn, or any other reference to getting a woman off by following some IKEA instruction pamphlet. Do what is natural. Lick and suckle. Vary speed and duration. Pressure and movement. Until...
- Once she starts to move, breath heavily, flush, arch her back, flex her abdominal muscles, and/or moan you know you've got it right and stick with what's working.


What are some good tips for giving oral sex to a man?
Communicate! Many guys have differing taste in what they like when it comes to bj’s. There’s nothing wrong with asking what he’s into.
Here’s some general guidelines:
- If using your hands to complement the blow job, take a firm but gentle grip. You should be moving the skin of the shaft but not turning his dick red/blue.
- NO TEETH (Unless agreed upon before hand)
- Common areas of focus are the head, the underside of the shaft, the testes and gooch. Each of these places is higher in sensitivity that the rest of the male organ.
- Be clear with what’s acceptable and what’s not, before you get down to it. If you’re not comfortable with something he’s going to notice and there’s nothing that kills the moment more than seeing you unhappy about doing something he wants. Be honest.


What is the best way to get rid of hair on my junk? Shaving/waxing/creams etc.

- Shaving can be tricky. Some people swear by it, some people swear at it. Go slowly, use a mirror or a partner, and have plenty of shaving cream and ingrown-prevention lotion (they make genital-specific versions that may be more helpful). If you’re just starting out, shave in the direction of the hair, and only do one pass per area; it won’t be perfectly smooth, but it’ll be a lot less irritated -- you can work up to doing more later.

- Trimming is a convenient middle ground. If your hair is really long, use scissors to trim until it’s under an inch. Then you can use a small electric shaver with a short blade guard. No stubble, no red bumps, and no crazy itchy regrowth.

- Waxing: someone else should write about this oh god.

- Laser hair removal is the most expensive up-front, but also the most permanent. Go to a clinic (overseen by a doctor, please!) and get zapped. It hurts, and it’ll probably take about six sessions before being smooth for good, but the results should last for years, if not forever.

slap me silly posted:

Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard.

I want sex X times a week, but my partner only wants it X times a month. I love my partner, and they are perfect in every other way except that one. Am I unreasonable/crazy?
- Talk to them! Everyone’s libido is different. Stress from school, work, moving, and large changes in your life really effect your libido and can take awhile to return to normal. If your sex life is getting slower and slower think about any stress issues that are affecting you or your partner.

- If it’s not a minor difference, and it’s not temporary, it may not be something you can resolve.

Shopping Links:
Amazon.com “Sexual Wellness” section: (sex toys etc. with discreet credit card listing & packaging)
Condomania
Babeland - Another suggested resource for sex toys and other supplies.


Addition thread notes:

"I think I may have been assaulted."

Sporkupine posted:

Sexual partners reserve the right to change their mind at any point during sexual activity. If one person says no, and the other does not listen, then it is assault.

Weather or not a victim wishes to seek legal action, they should call a sexual assault advocate immediately to discuss options, along with going to the hospital for a rape kit (its more than just swabs for DNA, it also looks at bruising, tearing and other signs of you and your body not wanting what happened). I also suggest checking out this link, which has lots and lots of information about sexual assault and victims.


"I'm concerned about ordering condoms online. What will X think of me seeing condom boxes arrive at my home?"

Sperg Victorious posted:

Order from Amazon and it'll look like the regular Amazon box. Or have them tell UPS to hold the package and you'll pick it up as the delivery center.

"I'm deeply concerned that my sacred temple has been infested with the HPV. Oh god help me!"

Sporkupine posted:

Check out the Planned Parenthood website for accurate, up to date, and unbiased information about HPV in men and women: linky link. I suggest reading all the sections on that page, but "does HPV cause cancer" and "how can I prevent getting or spreading HPV" are the two most useful sections for those who don't know much about it.

I have herpes. What Now?

I got someone to PM me a good Herps link: http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/

quote:

The Herps International Has Some Thoughts For You To Consider

Check out this resource. It should be helpful to you.

Should you see anything in need of fixing in the OP please let me know. Thank you.

I'd like to get a little latin kick into my love life

Many goons have reported rubbing a little bengay onto your balls before sex works very well for this, the higher temperature increases blood flow into the penis.

What's a good way to break into oral sex?

Try incorporating something easy to clean up like peanut butter into your love life, this will get your dog girlfriend interested in a tasty high protein snack!

do not show us anybodies but especially your own genitals, ever, for any reason.

Turtlicious fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Nov 26, 2019

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Smashurbanipal
Sep 12, 2009
ASK ME ABOUT BEING A SHITTY POSTER
I mean come on, we all know goons aren't sexhavers, this is pointless. (except me, I'm the only one)

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Smashurbanipal posted:

I mean come on, we all know goons aren't sexhavers, this is pointless. (except me, I'm the only one)

TBF: You are the best one :bigtran:

Anyways, for a question to get this megathread started, what are some good Cunnilingus books. I've read she comes first, and I'm looking for more books in the same vein.

Gin and Juche
Apr 3, 2008

The Highest Judge of Paradise
Shiki Eiki
YAMAXANADU
Well now that I am actually in a position to use this thread, I'll bite.

So I am a pretty tall guy. She is kind of short. We've had some difficulties with some positions and I think we could use some direction. She's tired of being on top, I think.

neongrey
Feb 28, 2007

Plaguing your posts with incidental music.
It's a bit spendy, but try one of these? They make a few different things like it, a lot of them are good for helping you get the right angle in cases like that. The Ramp is good too, it's just just also pricier. (here are some reviews of a few of their products)

Both links are NSFW, obviously.

neongrey fucked around with this message at 03:36 on Mar 7, 2014

Turtlicious
Sep 17, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I'm 6'1'' my girlfriend is like 5'4'', I just throw a pillow under her and call it a day, or throw her on the bed and then stand.

slap me silly
Nov 1, 2009
Grimey Drawer

Turtlicious posted:

What is the best way to get rid of hair on my junk? Shaving/waxing/creams etc.
Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Not a personal experience, but test that poo poo somewhere else first before applying liberally to sensitive areas. Some people are allergic.

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

slap me silly posted:

Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard.

Frankly, the idea of a chemical that dissolves hair being near my cock is enough to frighten me off the concept. I'll trim, but the various methods of hair removal for one's genitals all make me think that, if there is a god, it wants some amount of hair to remain.

DeathSandwich
Apr 24, 2008

I fucking hate puzzles.
Did the old thread get gassed? I was like 1/3rd of the way into it reading a page or two occasionally and wasn't at the kink stuff that stirred up poo poo in the old thread. I can't find it in archives either. :smith:

SlayVus
Jul 10, 2009
Grimey Drawer

DeathSandwich posted:

Did the old thread get gassed? I was like 1/3rd of the way into it reading a page or two occasionally and wasn't at the kink stuff that stirred up poo poo in the old thread. I can't find it in archives either. :smith:

It got gassed for extremely racist comments on like the last 1.5 pages.

Previa_fun
Nov 10, 2004

DeathSandwich posted:

Did the old thread get gassed? I was like 1/3rd of the way into it reading a page or two occasionally and wasn't at the kink stuff that stirred up poo poo in the old thread. I can't find it in archives either. :smith:

FYAD started trolling it and people fell for the trap and no one could handle it. :allears:

Kimmalah
Nov 14, 2005

Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.


Gravel Gravy posted:

Well now that I am actually in a position to use this thread, I'll bite.

So I am a pretty tall guy. She is kind of short. We've had some difficulties with some positions and I think we could use some direction. She's tired of being on top, I think.

I'm a pretty short lady and (like previously mentioned) I've always found it works well if I'm on the bed and he's standing. But maybe you have more of a height difference than we do, because I haven't found many positions other than from behind to be that much of a problem.

The Dipshit
Dec 21, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

slap me silly posted:

Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard.

Back in boarding school, I remember a guy got trucked off to the hospital when a bit of Nair got into his urethra. He was hauled out of the dorm screaming in pain, and was the laughingstock of the school for several months. While the last bit probably doesn't apply to anyone here, I don't think chancing a hospital trip is worth the attempt.

Xibanya
Sep 17, 2012




Clever Betty
Lots of questions! Tell me more about dental dams. What are they and how do you make them/buy them? Do you just spit them out when you're done? Are latex gloves as safe as latex condoms? (As in, if my dude uses a latex glove to digitally stimulate me, will I have some sort of horrible reaction?) Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting?

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON

Xibanya posted:

Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting?

My wife used nuvaring for a couple of months (got off of it due to side effects and cost), it never really bothered me when I rubbed against it but its going to be a massive case of YMMV.

appleskates
Feb 21, 2008

Find your freedom in the music.
Find your Jesus, find your Kubrick.

Geoj posted:

My wife used nuvaring for a couple of months (got off of it due to side effects and cost), it never really bothered me when I rubbed against it but its going to be a massive case of YMMV.

Also you can take it out for sex. My doctor said up to three hours a day without it is ok. So what side effects did your wife have, can I ask? (I just got it because of BC pill side effects so I am curious.)

Kimmalah
Nov 14, 2005

Basically just a baby in a trenchcoat.


Xibanya posted:

Lots of questions! Tell me more about dental dams. What are they and how do you make them/buy them? Do you just spit them out when you're done? Are latex gloves as safe as latex condoms? (As in, if my dude uses a latex glove to digitally stimulate me, will I have some sort of horrible reaction?) Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting?

A dental dam is basically like a flat sheet of latex that you can use as a barrier during things like oral sex. It doesn't go in your mouth at all, so you don't have to spit them out. I've never tried it myself, but I've heard in a pinch you can make something like it just by cutting a condom up the side and spreading it flat.

As long as they're medical grade, latex gloves should be fine to use unless you have a sensitivity to latex in general. I've never used them for sex, but gloves have never been a problem during things like pelvic exams.

I can't speak for how distracting/not distracting the NuvaRing is, but like the others said it is safe to take it out temporarily for sex if the ring is a problem.

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON

appleskates posted:

So what side effects did your wife have, can I ask? (I just got it because of BC pill side effects so I am curious.)

She starting have emotional meltdowns (uncontrollable crying and self-deprecation) over really minor stuff, like making a wrong turn or breaking a glass. Never happened before she was on it and stopped within a week of her going off of it.

Soysaucebeast
Mar 4, 2008




Xibanya posted:

Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting?

I've never had anyone comment on my nuvaring back when I used it. I have, however heard that the spermacide strips that you can buy and insert before sex feel like a half-assed condom and are distracting as hell.

I have a question of my own though. I just bought a new vibrator (a hitachi. Everyone has been telling me it's strong as hell and that's my main issue with my others) and was testing it out today to get a feel for it. After the first round, every other time today has resulted in me getting to close to orgasm (while keeping it focused on my clit) and then just squirting everywhere. However, it's a massive amount of liquid for me (like easily a cup to two) and I'm not really a squirter to begin with. Is it possible that the vibrator is stimulating my urethra or bladder or something and causing me to pee instead? That would have been my guess for the first time, but it's happened the past three times in a row in the past hour or so, so I'm at a loss. Is there an easy way to tell the difference between the two?

Filboid Studge
Oct 1, 2010
And while they debated the matter among themselves, Conradin made himself another piece of toast.

If it doesn't smell like pee it isn't pee?

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot
I have ball thrush. Should I wait it out or see a doctor?

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




poo poo's growing on your ballsack. Go see a drat doctor. :gonk:

Soysaucebeast
Mar 4, 2008




Filboid Studge posted:

If it doesn't smell like pee it isn't pee?

Yea, but my pee is weird enough as is. I drink crazy amounts of water so it's normally nearly clear and scentless anyway. Hence my confusion.

Scald
May 5, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 26 years!

Splurgerwitzl posted:

I have ball thrush. Should I wait it out or see a doctor?

Don't wait it out, either go see a doctor or buy an OTC medicated vagina cream and slather it on your balls until it goes away.

Deelon
Sep 18, 2003
I am a college student conducting research about open relationships/swinging. I am currently administering a survey which some of you may find interesting. It is completely anonymous, and you don't have to be in an open relationship to take it, or even know anything about them. It will only take a minute or two to complete, and I'd love to collect some goon-data, so please feel free to take this survey. If there's a decent amount of interest, I'll come back here and post about what I find when the survey is over.

http://radford.qualtrics.com//SE/?SID=SV_d5d5ohXJdqrisO9

Thanks!

slap me silly
Nov 1, 2009
Grimey Drawer
Did you get IRB approval for that study? I don't see the info on the web site...

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words

Deelon posted:

I am a college student conducting research about open relationships/swinging. I am currently administering a survey which some of you may find interesting. It is completely anonymous, and you don't have to be in an open relationship to take it, or even know anything about them. It will only take a minute or two to complete, and I'd love to collect some goon-data, so please feel free to take this survey. If there's a decent amount of interest, I'll come back here and post about what I find when the survey is over.

http://radford.qualtrics.com//SE/?SID=SV_d5d5ohXJdqrisO9

Thanks!
This is a mess. Some of the choices read "click to type choice 3," there are options missing from other questions . . . you should have someone go over it.

Skutter
Apr 8, 2007

Well you can fuck that sky high!



Does anyone know of any good water-based lube that won't set off a latex allergy, besides Astroglide? My guy friend has a latex allergy and we use Astroglide, but lately he says that it's starting to feel weird or burn when it's on his skin for too long. I don't have any issues with any of that, so I'm stumped.

(Also I was hoping that the title of the next thread would be something like, "Have you tried butt stuff yet?")

Morally Inept
Mar 5, 2012

by XyloJW

Skutter posted:

Does anyone know of any good water-based lube that won't set off a latex allergy, besides Astroglide? My guy friend has a latex allergy and we use Astroglide, but lately he says that it's starting to feel weird or burn when it's on his skin for too long. I don't have any issues with any of that, so I'm stumped.

(Also I was hoping that the title of the next thread would be something like, "Have you tried butt stuff yet?")


Saliva!

The Royal Nonesuch
Nov 1, 2005

Skutter posted:

Does anyone know of any good water-based lube that won't set off a latex allergy, besides Astroglide? My guy friend has a latex allergy and we use Astroglide, but lately he says that it's starting to feel weird or burn when it's on his skin for too long. I don't have any issues with any of that, so I'm stumped.

(Also I was hoping that the title of the next thread would be something like, "Have you tried butt stuff yet?")

Swiss Navy is really good stuff. I never found a brand I liked until I tried it out on a whim, because the packaging wasn't all INTIMATE SENSATIONS BACKDOOR PLEASURE. The bottles are awesome too - easy to use in the moment, have a locking top that prevent accidental disposal in your bag or whatever and I've never had one leak. My girlfriend loves it too and she was another lube-hater.

Don't know about it in re: to latex allergies though so be careful.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Skutter posted:

Does anyone know of any good water-based lube that won't set off a latex allergy, besides Astroglide? My guy friend has a latex allergy and we use Astroglide, but lately he says that it's starting to feel weird or burn when it's on his skin for too long. I don't have any issues with any of that, so I'm stumped.

(Also I was hoping that the title of the next thread would be something like, "Have you tried butt stuff yet?")

Water Slide by Earthly Body is good.

neongrey
Feb 28, 2007

Plaguing your posts with incidental music.
Sliquid's here to help. Sassy is nice and thick too, for butt stuff.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Basically any water-based lube that doesn't have parabens should be fine. All of the above qualify.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Anne Whateley posted:

This is a mess. Some of the choices read "click to type choice 3," there are options missing from other questions . . . you should have someone go over it.

That is a drastically terrible survey. So many leading answers and questions with implied correct answers that the author is obviously fishing for. I can't believe they got a professor to sign off on it in any way.

empty whippet box
Jun 9, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
It's probably for some small project in a pyschology class or some poo poo, not a dissertation, thesis or otherwise Actually Important paper. Which is why it doesn't have the approvals mentioned in previous posts.

I would give you an F for that survey because it sucks real bad.

FISHMANPET
Mar 3, 2007

Sweet 'N Sour
Can't
Melt
Steel Beams
I'd like to take a survey about my open relationship but not a terrible one.

Lord Windy
Mar 26, 2010
I hope this isn't too big of a derail, but how did you guys go about discussing an open relationship?

Skutter
Apr 8, 2007

Well you can fuck that sky high!



Thanks for the recommendations guys!

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strangemusic
Aug 7, 2008

I shield you because I need charge
Is not because I like you or anything!


So this is not a question but it happened - I managed to pull/strain my PC muscles during sex. Didn't even know that was possible. In case you were wondering what it would be like to experience mind-blowing post-coital endorphins and kicked-squarely-in-the-balls agony at the same time... Yeah.

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