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Deelon posted:I am a college student conducting research about open relationships/swinging. I am currently administering a survey which some of you may find interesting. It is completely anonymous, and you don't have to be in an open relationship to take it, or even know anything about them. It will only take a minute or two to complete, and I'd love to collect some goon-data, so please feel free to take this survey. If there's a decent amount of interest, I'll come back here and post about what I find when the survey is over.
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Mar 12, 2014 16:36
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i like nice words
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Mathematics posted:I am actually trying regular cowgirl. I'm not sure why he says he doesn't like bending it that way, but every time I try to put it in a way that I think is sensible, he says it's uncomfortable.
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Mar 27, 2014 07:50
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1. Spit is a fine lube. It's a rough sex/degradation thing, been going on long enough that some people probably just think it's sexy. 2. Lots of dudes are into women wearing heels or sneakers or boots or whatever. When a straight guy leaves his on, it's probably just because nobody cares and it's awkward to remove. 3. It's racist as poo poo, people are racist as poo poo. 4. Probably partly taboo and partly irresistability thing ("so hot even straight guys want him"). Also could be internalized homophobia; google stuff like "str8" or "straight-acting," there's been a bunch written about it. 5. People think femme women having sex is sexy (and they're just waiting for a man); people think dudes having sex is gross and they're definitely gay. If you don't like any of this stuff, mainstream porn like Bangbros or whatever isn't for you, but there are other options. It's a big internet.
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Mar 28, 2014 18:21
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This thread has always been fine with questions like "recommend a comfortable pair of handcuffs" or "choking is dangerous, right?" But nobody wants to hear about it if you want to eat people or poo poo in diapers; that's how the last thread went down in flames (also not a good fetish).
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Apr 18, 2014 23:40
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If she isn't even comfortable watching porn, having her fill out workbooks so she can learn to fulfill each one of her boyfriend's fantasies is probably not the thing. If you've talked about it and she won't even watch porn with it, it's a pretty safe bet she isn't into it.
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May 2, 2014 20:47
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No, what would you even say? "Someone on the internet hasn't heard of it so you're faking"? It doesn't matter if it's a common allergy, a rare allergy, a sensitive stomach, learned aversion, or anything else. The bottom line is swallowing won't happen, so you should find an option that works for both of you.
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May 5, 2014 19:17
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In the US, infants get vaccinated against Hep B. If you didn't then, it'd be a good idea to get that taken care of now, whether or not you sleep with her. It's such a public health issue that you may be able to get the vaccine for free (they do it in New York, for example).
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May 6, 2014 12:20
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meteloides posted:I guess you could use coconut oil or other conditioners on it? Do not try hair-straightening kits, they contain nasty chemicals that will do really bad things to the skin there. Just get some nice conditioner. It's not brain surgery.
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May 10, 2014 22:47
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No, you don't ovulate only during penetration and every time you have sex, your friends are hella misinformed. If the pain is actually in your ovaries, there are a couple possibilities, but it's certainly worth getting them checked out. But are you sure the pain isn't in your cervix? Either way, can you go to a Planned Parenthood or other clinic? You shouldn't need a referral for that (and they should work with you even with no/crummy insurance). If not, this is a gyn-specific issue, so your doctor should at least go with it. Is the referral an irritating insurance necessity, or are you from the UK or something? Can you not just switch doctors completely?
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May 14, 2014 03:44
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You could read Opening Up together, or you could just save both of you a few months and break up now.
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May 20, 2014 06:39
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Coming to this from a place of "I feel like I owe him sex every time he wants sex" is not a good sign. What happens when you start loving a girl who's just as cute, just as smart (whatever) as your girlfriend but also wants sex all the time? Since she won't be going outside the relationship, what happens when you're hooking up with other girls and she's sitting around alone at home, feeling inadequate, and with nothing to look forward to? There are okay places to start poly from, but this isn't one.
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May 20, 2014 23:08
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If you want a partner to tell you something like that, the way to do it isn't to badger them TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME IT BOTHERS ME TELL ME, it's to do what you can to make them super comfortable being honest with you.
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May 22, 2014 05:42
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If he says "btw you reek" now that's exactly what she's going to feel already. It depends on the context. If it's a warm day and you've been running around doing stuff all day, don't be surprised if someone's not as fresh as a daisy at the end of it. If you initiate then, you take your chances. Initiate after a shower -- it can't be the same then, right?
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May 23, 2014 21:48
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It definitely isn't weird for guys to have a thing. Some guys can only come in certain positions, some can only come when they're controlling the loving, some only come from blowjobs, some never come from blowjobs, some have to be grabbing something, you name it. If you've already come a couple times in different positions, I wouldn't worry. What's happened before can happen again. Just do whatever seems fun for both of you and don't worry about whether you come in one position or whether you eventually switch.
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Jun 4, 2014 02:14
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Silicone stains sheets. You will also kill yourself if you're using it in the shower, on hardwood, on tile...
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Jun 5, 2014 00:10
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"Hey, we should talk about testing -- when was your last checkup? Mine was [date] and I was tested for [xyz]." Just be matter-of-fact -- goons love to make everything awkward, but it's not weird; you're gonna be sleeping with the guy. Also be aware that people will say "oh uhh I'm negative for everything" without realizing that they weren't tested for stuff (herpes, HSV), plus a lot of people don't realize cold sores are herpes. Anne Whateley fucked around with this message at 02:19 on Jun 8, 2014 |
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Jun 8, 2014 02:17
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I know this is crazy talk, but since she's completely inexperienced and you guys just got married, maybe give it a little time to get used to being married before you start railing other girls? One huge life change at a time is probably enough.
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Jun 18, 2014 22:57
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Just go ahead and open an e/n thread, you're obviously going to need it.
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Jun 20, 2014 12:41
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I think it's not weird especially if it's rough or if there's a size mismatch. Hopefully you know this, but the whole month, uterine lining builds up. A period is when it's all shed and it comes out at once, but there's always some up there. Keep whacking the uterus like a piņata, and you might get some surprises. You think it's a tear of the vagina, but she thinks it's menstrual blood (coming through the cervix), right? It can't hurt for a doctor to check it out, but she shouldn't worry in the meantime. Until then, yeah, just get her super turned on, do some gentle fingering, work up gradually.
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Jun 27, 2014 19:30
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Skyn is my favorite too (there's definitely a difference), but buying them in the drugstore/etc. is way pricier than normal condoms. Buy them online at condomdepot.com.
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Jun 28, 2014 01:43
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If the problem is bacteria in her junk, the answer is not butt stuff. I would ask her what she wants to do. I think as long as you both wash up beforehand and she washes/pees after, it would be fine. Or she could always call her doctor; it's not even going to register as a weird question.
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Jul 24, 2014 18:25
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If you've never enjoyed any blowjob ever, presumably from multiple people, it isn't a problem with your girlfriend. Some guys just aren't that into the feel. Some guys have dimensions that make it not super fun (which might be your problem if everyone is toothy). It's okay, it's fine to prefer loving or whatever. The gagging is likely something she picked up from porn, or was told to do by guys who picked it up from porn. If you want it to stop, frame it as concern for her, which is also pretty legit since, you know, she's gagging. "I've noticed when you go down on me, you seem to be gagging a lot. That can't be fun, and it sounds scary to me -- please don't do it for my sake" or whatever. In general, you could talk about more teasing and less facefucking. It sounds like if she did more of the fun stuff and less of the "come now" violent in-and-out, that would solve the gagging and the toothiness, plus it might be more fun for you.
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Jul 27, 2014 07:38
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It's only been a couple weeks since surgery. Any body part might not be 100% back to normal in that situation. I had a couple moles snipped a month+ ago -- that's the tiniest surgery ever, and the area's still not 100% perfect again. It will be eventually; it just takes time. If he gets super freaked out about it, it probably will be a big psychosomatic deal. He shouldn't do some big routine of exercises and celibacy and God knows what else. Just tell him the internet says it's normal and everything will be normal eventually, and try to have fun and don't dwell on it. Anne Whateley fucked around with this message at 06:01 on Jul 31, 2014 |
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Jul 31, 2014 05:58
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No, I said "likely" and I stand by it. The times when I've gagged for real have been absolutely nothing like the dying-duck-on-every-stroke porn thing.
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Aug 2, 2014 17:53
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Of course, but maybe they shouldn't say "I don't have any idea what mainstream porn is like, but she didn't get this from mainstream porn, you idiots."
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Aug 2, 2014 20:30
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"Women have babies" is super common, but it's still the dumbest argument. If you're having a baby, you've just had nine months for the entire structure of your pelvis to change. Pregnancy hormones cause ligaments to stretch and bones to move. A guy with a big dick is not going to accomplish any of that in fifteen minutes. And of course giving birth often requires a cut or causes awful tears. There's a reason most women aren't shoving watermelons in and out for fun. Chances are, if you don't have a monster dick, you can get there with lube and toys and lots of patience. But there's also a chance you guys might just not be compatible, and it wouldn't kill you to look for other fun options.
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Sep 4, 2014 21:59
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Please break up so she doesn't spend any more time with someone who makes her feel lovely about something innocuous she can't control. The vast majority of women can't come from PIV alone. I totally believe you've had extremely extensive experience, but all those women were either incredibly lucky or just faking it. If masturbation is just as good for her, why do you think she bothers having sex with you instead of just jerking off alone?
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Sep 28, 2014 06:05
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John Lee posted:I don't think a post that says "You make your girlfriend feel terrible and your previous lovers were just faking" is especially helpful, and I can't really think of a good reason to make it.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:15
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Faking an orgasm involves faking the sounds and faking the clenching. Otherwise you wouldn't be pretending to come, you'd just be making some weird noises. It's just doing Kegels at appropriate intervals, it's not super complex or difficult. I actually haven't faked, but I totally understand why people do.
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Oct 18, 2014 03:42
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They're just dumb sitcom jokes, people don't actually struggle to remember "rhinoceros" irl. Pretty much everyone just uses "red" for stop. Some people also use "yellow" for slow down/check in/almost-red/whatever.
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Oct 27, 2014 07:14
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Go to Al-Anon. He's nuts in a dozen different ways, he's trying to cheat on you, and you won't be able to change his behavior.
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Oct 29, 2014 04:39
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Assuming that giving is "unpleasant work" is your projection. Have you ever enjoyed giving a massage, making a special dinner, finding the perfect gift? Where's the line drawn? Do you have to turn off your empathy every time someone brings you a drink while they happen to be up?
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Nov 3, 2014 22:02
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Why, what do you use as a placemat?
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Nov 4, 2014 21:04
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Have you been with a lot of women, and she's a major outlier? It's not totally clear if this is an actual problem or whether you just don't like the taste/smell that they all have. Mucus is normal, whitish is normal. If it's like (healthy) snot, sorry, but that's fine; if it's yellow or if it's like cottage cheese, something is wrong. But if the doctor just saw it and said nothing, that points toward things being normal.
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Nov 4, 2014 22:54
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Prodigal T-REX posted:A fair question that needs to be answered before any real help can occur, in my opinion.
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Nov 5, 2014 05:18
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It's an excellent idea and please take video of your face.
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Nov 5, 2014 22:26
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FISHMANPET posted:On the other hand, sometimes you want some cheap skanky poo poo that you have no problem ripping off or destroying. Frederick's is a good place for that. Cacique at Lane Bryant is good for I think 36D+ (panties/teddies/etc. size 12+), just wait for a BOGO sale. Find out where local strippers go. Repurpose stuff like sheer tops, silk scarves, etc.
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Dec 1, 2014 21:22
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It makes a big difference what you want to use the plug for. If she wants to wear it around all day (some people actually do this), then you want a thin neck, and the weight of the metal is a reminder. If you want it to stretch her out to get ready for anal while you do other fun stuff for half an hour, then you want a much thicker neck and the weight isn't important. The njoy pure plug and similar designs are no good for the latter use, which I think is much more common.
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Dec 3, 2014 07:39
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I'm no sex toy classification expert, but I think dildos are for going in/out whereas plugs just go in once and then hang out for awhile??
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Dec 3, 2014 08:07
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That she doesn't realize it. A few tablespoons could be actual squirting, but cups and cups, no, there's nowhere else to put it all.
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Dec 12, 2014 01:51
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