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 Shut the gently caress up about your kink, no-one cares. Goons ignore Kink posters, don't engage them report and move on.Thank RGBRIOT for writing the OP I stole: There are several goons who are fairly knowledgeable about sex related things, and have shown themselves more than happy to help answer questions. This is the thread for that. That being said, there's no substitute for a real professional. Should any of your questions be a serious health risk nature, please do us all a favor. Don't bother asking your questions here, seek the help of a professional. No one's well being should be decided by internet users. You know we're mostly a bunch of assholes right? Lastly, save the bullshit. People need to feel comfortable to talk about this subject, and as such we'd like to provide at least a modicum of respect and civility. If you can't be respectful to posters, then you had better be hilarious in your disrespect. Related Threads as of 3.5.14: Birth Control Megathread - Compare notes and maybe even girlie parts with other users to find the best BC option for you and your love oven. This is also where you can go to ask if you are pregnant. That's about it, goons ruin everything. Some Frequently Asked Questions Condoms We all dislike them, and we all know why we should use them. The good news is they’re not inch-thick rubber socks anymore. You can get brands that are thin and still reliable, such as Crown and Kimono. Even if you have a micro penis or a dick like Sarah Jessica Parker (So HUGE!), there are condoms for you. Several companies even offer custom sized condoms, or specific fitting kits. Google custom fit condoms for more info. If you’re allergic to latex, there are great new options like Lifestyles Skyn. Just remember to note: You can’t combine oil-based lube with latex condoms and goatskin condoms don’t prevent STDs. Should you need further assistance with picking out the best brand for your needs, mention where you live (generally speaking) as some brands are only sold in certain countries. Also, Conveniently, here is a ton of info. Lube There are a ton of good options for lube out there. Using it is normal and doesn't mean there is something wrong with either you or your SO. Here's a general run down of lube types, issues, and uses: Water-based lube is safe with condoms, but watch out for anything that contains glycerin, which can cause yeast infections if it goes near a vulva. Oil-based lubes aren’t a great idea since they can’t be used with condoms. Silicone lubes can’t be used with silicone toys, but are a good (and very slippery) option for almost anything else. We get a lot of recommendations for Maximus (which is thicker and ideal for anal), Liquid Silk (thinner version of the same), and Gun Oil. Several other goons have also recommended Swiss Navy and Pjur for general use. (Is that the correct spelling?) ”I am a virgin. Should I tell him/her?” DO NOT POST THIS. It always starts a ridiculous debate that ends up saying the same thing over and over again. In order to skip that circlejerk here’s a simple form to let you know how to handle this situation. Step 1: Did they ask? NO: Keep your mouth shut. YES: Be honest. Step 2: Do you have a good reason to tell them? NO: Keep your mouth shut. YES: Be honest. Example of a good reason to tell them: “I’m an extreme hemophiliac and my hymen is thicker than the hull of the USS Nimitz. There will be blood.” I want to try anal sex! What should I know? - First, the receptive partner should empty their bowels and then clean up until s/he feels comfortable. Showering is fine. Some people use warm-water enemas, which is also okay. Do NOT use Fleet enemas, purchased enemas, or anything else with anything but water. - Lots of lube should be used; thicker lubes are usually recommended. A good amount of time should be spent warming up the anus. This means working up slowly with one lubed finger, and slowly adding fingers until your partner is loosened up enough. Finally, insertion should be very slow. Take your time and don’t rush anything. The receiving party should be in control of the insertion as they are best equipped to know how their rear end in a top hat is handling it. - Don’t put any pressure or heavy expectations on this -- it’s not necessarily a one-hour or one-day project. If it takes weeks to work up from fingers to toys to a penis, that’s totally fine. “I can’t come during vaginal sex” (male) Stop masturbating and watching porn. If you have been jerking off regularly for a while, you may have desensitized your penis. Your hand can give a lot more pressure/force/speed than anything else. The good news is that if you cut out masturbation and porn for a couple of weeks, your penis will regain its sensitivity. If you’ve already tried that, try it for longer. Seriously. “I can’t come from vaginal sex” (female) Are you comfortable? Mentally calm? Have you ever come from vaginal stimulation on your own? Everyone comes differently and in different ways; it’s normal to need something specific, and it’s normal for penis-in-vagina sex not to work on its own. If you don’t come from vaginal penetration alone, that’s incredibly normal and totally okay. While having PIV sex, you can always rub your clit, use a toy, or whatever else at the same time -- or beforehand or afterward! Communicate with your partner about what feels good, how you usually come, etc. Try not to stress. “I can’t come from oral sex” (male or female) Lots of people have difficulty orgasming from oral sex, especially at first. First, you have to be able to provide your partner with feedback about what is working and what is not. If something feels good, be sure to give some kind of feed back. Likewise, if you need your partner to do less of something or go softer, tell them. Communication is the most important part of sex. Finally, relax. You really have to let yourself go and not worry about anything, including taking too long to cum. What are some good tips for giving oral sex to a woman? Communication! Be sure to ask if you don't have a clue as to what to do... and perhaps even if you think you do. That being said, here's a few guidelines: - Start slow. The clitoris is generally pretty sensitive. If you jump right in like it's your penis you're going to overwhelm her. - Many women enjoy penetration while being eaten out. If your SO is that type it may be rather pleasurable to finger her vagina or rear end in a top hat. - Don't prescribe to a methodology. There is no specific set of buttons to press, knobs to turn, or any other reference to getting a woman off by following some IKEA instruction pamphlet. Do what is natural. Lick and suckle. Vary speed and duration. Pressure and movement. Until... - Once she starts to move, breath heavily, flush, arch her back, flex her abdominal muscles, and/or moan you know you've got it right and stick with what's working. What are some good tips for giving oral sex to a man? Communicate! Many guys have differing taste in what they like when it comes to bj’s. There’s nothing wrong with asking what he’s into. Here’s some general guidelines: - If using your hands to complement the blow job, take a firm but gentle grip. You should be moving the skin of the shaft but not turning his dick red/blue. - NO TEETH (Unless agreed upon before hand) - Common areas of focus are the head, the underside of the shaft, the testes and gooch. Each of these places is higher in sensitivity that the rest of the male organ. - Be clear with what’s acceptable and what’s not, before you get down to it. If you’re not comfortable with something he’s going to notice and there’s nothing that kills the moment more than seeing you unhappy about doing something he wants. Be honest. What is the best way to get rid of hair on my junk? Shaving/waxing/creams etc. - Shaving can be tricky. Some people swear by it, some people swear at it. Go slowly, use a mirror or a partner, and have plenty of shaving cream and ingrown-prevention lotion (they make genital-specific versions that may be more helpful). If you’re just starting out, shave in the direction of the hair, and only do one pass per area; it won’t be perfectly smooth, but it’ll be a lot less irritated -- you can work up to doing more later. - Trimming is a convenient middle ground. If your hair is really long, use scissors to trim until it’s under an inch. Then you can use a small electric shaver with a short blade guard. No stubble, no red bumps, and no crazy itchy regrowth. - Waxing: someone else should write about this oh god. - Laser hair removal is the most expensive up-front, but also the most permanent. Go to a clinic (overseen by a doctor, please!) and get zapped. It hurts, and it’ll probably take about six sessions before being smooth for good, but the results should last for years, if not forever. slap me silly posted:Some people use Nair! Or Veet. Of course you do have to disregard the frightening instruction on the bottle, "NEVER FOR THE JUNK". Unlike shaving, it doesn't itch when it grows back. I mean, I've heard. I want sex X times a week, but my partner only wants it X times a month. I love my partner, and they are perfect in every other way except that one. Am I unreasonable/crazy? - Talk to them! Everyone’s libido is different. Stress from school, work, moving, and large changes in your life really effect your libido and can take awhile to return to normal. If your sex life is getting slower and slower think about any stress issues that are affecting you or your partner. - If it’s not a minor difference, and it’s not temporary, it may not be something you can resolve. Shopping Links: Amazon.com “Sexual Wellness” section: (sex toys etc. with discreet credit card listing & packaging) Condomania Babeland - Another suggested resource for sex toys and other supplies. Addition thread notes: "I think I may have been assaulted." Sporkupine posted:Sexual partners reserve the right to change their mind at any point during sexual activity. If one person says no, and the other does not listen, then it is assault. "I'm concerned about ordering condoms online. What will X think of me seeing condom boxes arrive at my home?" Sperg Victorious posted:Order from Amazon and it'll look like the regular Amazon box. Or have them tell UPS to hold the package and you'll pick it up as the delivery center. "I'm deeply concerned that my sacred temple has been infested with the HPV. Oh god help me!" Sporkupine posted:Check out the Planned Parenthood website for accurate, up to date, and unbiased information about HPV in men and women: linky link. I suggest reading all the sections on that page, but "does HPV cause cancer" and "how can I prevent getting or spreading HPV" are the two most useful sections for those who don't know much about it. I have herpes. What Now? I got someone to PM me a good Herps link: http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/ quote:The Herps International Has Some Thoughts For You To Consider Should you see anything in need of fixing in the OP please let me know. Thank you. I'd like to get a little latin kick into my love life Many goons have reported rubbing a little bengay onto your balls before sex works very well for this, the higher temperature increases blood flow into the penis. What's a good way to break into oral sex? Try incorporating something easy to clean up like peanut butter into your love life, this will get your do not show us anybodies but especially your own genitals, ever, for any reason. Turtlicious fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Nov 26, 2019 |
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Mar 5, 2014 23:17
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Smashurbanipal posted:I mean come on, we all know goons aren't sexhavers, this is pointless. (except me, I'm the only one) TBF: You are the best one :bigtran: Anyways, for a question to get this megathread started, what are some good Cunnilingus books. I've read she comes first, and I'm looking for more books in the same vein.
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Mar 6, 2014 04:42
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I'm 6'1'' my girlfriend is like 5'4'', I just throw a pillow under her and call it a day, or throw her on the bed and then stand.
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Mar 7, 2014 03:37
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My girlfriend hates both cunnilingus and kissing because "Tongues are slimy and gross." I have no idea what to do, but I wish she told me the kissing thing like three years ago when we met. Remember people, communicate with your partners.
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Mar 15, 2014 03:33
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FactsAreUseless posted:Bone dry, thanks to the no-kissing rule.  Yeah, pretty much, we're allowed to do strictly PiV sex, or anal. Anything else is right out.
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Mar 15, 2014 18:48
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slap me silly posted:Speaking of which: "Sweetheart, this no-tongue thing isn't working for me. So much so that I'm posting about it on an internet comedy forum. I want to work with you to figure out how to get what I need." I was trying to say that I was upset my girlfriend went three years being squicked out, rather then being hung up on my own stuff.
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Mar 15, 2014 20:06
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Steampunk iPhone posted:She probably doesnt want your mouth near her pussy because you literally weigh 500 pounds and your mouth reeks of ranch dressing and rotting meat. That's because your mom won't use the douche I bought her.
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Mar 15, 2014 23:30
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Nah it's literally just "I don't like tongues touching me they have a weird texture." I don't really need tongue stuff to be emotionally / sexually satisfied, I just felt lovely not knowing she had that hangup for so long.
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Mar 17, 2014 03:12
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When I was experimenting with my partner ^, I just lubed her up and slapped it in. Ymmv though. Sidenote: Apparently my girlfriend is ok with tongues, but only if she is on top. Which is better then before, which was no tongues ever.
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May 20, 2014 08:05
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hoobajoo posted:"Hey, when was the last time you got an STD test?" If someone gets offended in my opinion it's because they have something to hide.
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Jun 8, 2014 06:25
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Man I thought you had enough common sense to know what I meant. Obviously something is wrong if you've been in a monogamous relationship for 20 years and your wife suddenly sprang on you, "Hey go get checked for the Hivvy."
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Jun 10, 2014 08:25
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Slo-Tek posted:What is it about compulsively oversharing that makes you thickwits unable to read?
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Aug 11, 2014 03:52
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sweetbeets posted:I feel like sex toys deserve their own thread. It seems like they've taken over here. They don't.
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Aug 27, 2014 18:12
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Hydrolith posted:Yep. The solution to "how can I get my shy girlfriend to enjoy sex more" isn't "stick it in her arse". Worked for me though.
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Aug 28, 2014 02:53
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Grape Soda posted:Meanwhile, I had an ex who freaked out at me every time I dared to venture around the small of the back when giving massages (not even remotely in the butt stuff arena, just givin' a massage) and would only rarely be into butt stuff when he was blackout drunk. Which sucked because it's sometimes a fun thing to let people stick things in your butt. Some dudes just aren't into it, I guess. It sounds like you raped your boyfriend, what the gently caress?!
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Aug 29, 2014 08:51
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Basebf555 posted:I mean you're right but lets not pretend that kind of thing doesn't happen in committed relationships(one persons really drunk, the other isn't). Its not quite the same thing as taking advantage of someone you just started dating or met at a club. Uhh yeah it is? I don't get my girlfriend plastered to try and make her into the blowjob queen, because that's rape. How is this even a discussion?
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Aug 29, 2014 19:46
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Burqa King posted:Wait what, you let your dog hit that? Yeah it was the only animal dumb enough to try.
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Sep 4, 2014 08:09
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Kimmalah posted:Then I guess it's a good thing that nobody's dick is big enough to require bones and ligaments to shift, but thanks for the unnecessary rant. One guy said that and he was mocked for it. Stop.
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Sep 4, 2014 23:28
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You all just got trolled.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:30
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Fair enough.
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Sep 28, 2014 22:40
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Note: Getting women off is hard, be happy she can take care of it herself.
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Sep 29, 2014 12:13
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You guys should start mocking people who say stupid things, just saying.
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Oct 16, 2014 03:24
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Avshalom posted:walk down the stret people wanrt to put their dilz right in THAT rear end bu i'm like no tbh Try dressing different.
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Oct 18, 2014 14:41
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There is never a point where I'm going to forget the word that will stp someone from sounding me. That may be because my safeword is the phrase, "Holy gently caress don't do that, what is wrong with you you weirdo."
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Oct 27, 2014 07:20
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Ok, so I was being hyperbolical for a reason, that reason is this: Please shut up about your kink, you weirdo.
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Oct 28, 2014 03:46
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Just use an electric body trimmer, that is literally what they are for.
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Nov 3, 2014 05:07
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WreckSov posted:Did The Joker ever tell the truth about how he got those scars? Yeah, but it's a kink thing so we're not allowed to talk about it.
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Nov 4, 2014 16:25
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I like my pussies like I like my pickles, sour with weird bumps.
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Nov 5, 2014 04:42
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WYA posted:How do I approach my wife of 10 years about genital hygiene issues? Eat her out in the shower.
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Nov 5, 2014 04:43
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TBF when people say sweet, it's because they are retarded and literally don't know how to describe flavors.
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Nov 5, 2014 21:25
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EB Nulshit posted:Okay. And I suppose I'll look weird if I pull out a condom when someone goes down on me, as well? No, I wear a full Haz mat suit, and sometimes they really get into it. "Aw yeah, here comes the EBola dr, choo choo."
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Nov 6, 2014 15:54
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If I pissed on someone during sex, I'd probably try and make it sound like they're really great at sex, rather then admit I just pissed all over this man's face.
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Dec 13, 2014 05:25
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That story sounds really fake.
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Jan 16, 2015 02:41
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Great if you're too lazy to put down a towel or clean up. Just squirt the baby batter and flush it down the toilet.
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Jan 17, 2015 03:29
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I have two signs one is felt with the word GO inlaid with green letters, I bap her on the head when she does well. The other is sandpaper with Stop on it, I smack the dog poo poo out of her when she stops. It seems to work pretty well.
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Jan 21, 2015 22:22
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Anne Whateley posted:Could possibly sound gayer but I'm not sure how! Sex Questions Megathread III: Vaginas are weird. So try butt stuff instead. Butts are fab.
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Jan 31, 2015 02:25
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So my girl get's so bored during sex that she now brings her phone into bed with her, and makes me wipe her out when I'm done. I feel like should be killing my sex drive, but it's not. THere's something wrong about that right? Right now she's about as functional as a self lubricating flesh light.
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Feb 6, 2015 07:27
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It's normal for women not to enjoy PiV sex though, and she likes being eaten out, it's just stuff that gets me off she's hates. Who cares if she's reading a book or something as long as she's happy.
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Feb 6, 2015 07:33
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bowmore posted:Your girlfriend sounds like a real doll if it could read books Well yeah, that's why I need help obvs
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Feb 6, 2015 07:38
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DoctorX posted:So she likes cunnilingus now? How did that happen? I read a book on it, and it was more me breathing on her while performing cunnilingus, so I tried some new things including quietly breathing through my nose.
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Feb 6, 2015 23:58
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