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My boyfriend has recently expressed to me that he wants to be on the receiving end of some anal play. I have had some experience with this before with previous partners, but the effort was clumsy and not really pleasurable for anyone. So I do have some questions about the logistics of it, but they're a little secondary. My main concern is that he's one of those "is this gay" guys, and I'm really not sure how to convincingly tell him that it isn't without just being like "nah man i'mma girl it's cool." What can I do to ease his mind about this, and how can I ease him into doing the act itself? I told him that he should probably experiment with doing it himself for a little while as well, but I'm not sure if that was the proper thing to say. 
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May 5, 2014 00:06
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| # ¿ May 4, 2024 14:15 |
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hoobajoo posted:I went through this a couple years ago when I got into butt stuff, and it's just a bit of growing up I had to do. At the end of the day, I just had accept I like what I like, and that I can do butt-stuff from time to time without it threatening my identity. If it helps him get into it, a lot of what he means (I meant) by "is this gay" is "is this submissive", and you can totally receive a rimjob or finger around back while still being the tough manly dominant. Think of it like oral sex: it's not submissive to be getting head, even though you're the bottom. He can approach anal play with that sort of mindset, and it might ease his worries. I've been told that he's tried a finger himself before but that it "didn't really feel like anything", meaning he doesn't really know what he's doing. He also asked me if he was going to paralyze himself if he did it wrong. And that the need to lube up and go super slow sounded like "a whole to-do." He's... endearingly naive... and it's making things a little difficult to communicate about, as far as his future ventures into self-love go. If there was a way to instruct him without sounding clinical about it, things would go a lot smoother. And I'm not sure if it's a fear of submission when it comes to him. He's mentioned that he likes me taking charge quite a number of times, which I don't mind but. This is a whole other can of worms since I pretty much have only ever attracted subby men, and I'm honestly a little bored with being dominant since coming to know my current partner. I'm not sure how to broach the subject of switching with him since my dominance is such a turn-on for him. This was really cool until it told me that I needed to be fine with poop. I'll never be fine with poop! <  >
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May 5, 2014 07:54
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