|
Gravel Gravy posted:Well now that I am actually in a position to use this thread, I'll bite. I'm a pretty short lady and (like previously mentioned) I've always found it works well if I'm on the bed and he's standing. But maybe you have more of a height difference than we do, because I haven't found many positions other than from behind to be that much of a problem.
|
#
¿
Mar 10, 2014 07:06
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 08:05 |
|
|
Xibanya posted:Lots of questions! Tell me more about dental dams. What are they and how do you make them/buy them? Do you just spit them out when you're done? Are latex gloves as safe as latex condoms? (As in, if my dude uses a latex glove to digitally stimulate me, will I have some sort of horrible reaction?) Also, for gents who bone ladies with nuvarings, be honest, is the ring distracting? A dental dam is basically like a flat sheet of latex that you can use as a barrier during things like oral sex. It doesn't go in your mouth at all, so you don't have to spit them out. I've never tried it myself, but I've heard in a pinch you can make something like it just by cutting a condom up the side and spreading it flat. As long as they're medical grade, latex gloves should be fine to use unless you have a sensitivity to latex in general. I've never used them for sex, but gloves have never been a problem during things like pelvic exams. I can't speak for how distracting/not distracting the NuvaRing is, but like the others said it is safe to take it out temporarily for sex if the ring is a problem.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 11, 2014 17:04
|
|
|
strangemusic posted:To paraphrase Team Fortress 2 - FYI I am a dude. Yeah generally women don't use "kicked squarely in the balls" as a pain-level reference point.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 15, 2014 02:46
|
|
|
Splurgerwitzl posted:Girls just get hung up on weird stuff when it comes to sex. I don't even get it. You put the sausage in the bun and some times it's fun. Those women, am I right guys?  But seriously, everyone gets sexual hang-ups. It's not some "girls only" thing.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 16, 2014 18:00
|
|
|
Splurgerwitzl posted:If I was having sex with men I'm sure I could share a more nuanced perspective, but alas it's just not in the cards for me at this time. You really don't have to be sexually involved with men to know something like that. I just thought it was kind of weird generalization to make.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 17, 2014 03:33
|
|
|
Black Shadow posted:I've read elsewhere that such masturbation frequency can permanently desensitize your shaft, not for just a couple of weeks. Could someone elaborate? I've only heard of one person who claims that and as far as I remember he's kind of a quack and never really proven it. Also it only pertained to guys who masturbated by humping things, not their with their hands (so called "traumatic masturbation" or something like that). I don't really see how any of it could be possible unless you're jerking off so hard that you're seriously injuring nerves and I'd imagine most people would stop long before that point.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 24, 2014 03:11
|
|
|
Mathematics posted:I am actually trying regular cowgirl. I'm not sure why he says he doesn't like bending it that way, but every time I try to put it in a way that I think is sensible, he says it's uncomfortable.  You're not any more likely to damage anything in reverse than you are facing forward. It's really not that different except that the change in angles might help. You won't know unless you try.And like the other poster said you don't have to be sitting perfectly perpendicular to him or anything. Sometimes it works better if you lean forward a little or get right up against his chest or lean backwards, etc. Experiment.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 28, 2014 06:10
|
|
|
Black Shadow posted:My girlfriend and I had this issue when we first started having sex. Try to focus more on going up and down as opposed to forward and backwards. Don't bend over. Sit up with good posture and just bounce and see how he likes that. A lot of women do that because the forward/backward grinding thing is often what feels good for them on top, while the up and down doesn't do a whole lot feeling-wise. So sometimes you've got to do a little of both for everyone to have a good time. Bending over can work really well sometimes too, if the guy braces his feet and does some thrusting.
|
|
#
¿
Mar 30, 2014 18:07
|
|
|
Hydrolith posted:Well, the other thing that works is up-and-down, but using fingers on her clit at the same time, or even just a thumb. True, but sometimes that's hard to pull off when everyone's moving around so much (in my experience anyway).
|
|
#
¿
Mar 31, 2014 17:47
|
|
|
Skutter posted:At the very least, get a plastic mattress protector to put under your mattress pad, just as a back up. But I'm sure puppy pad sheets would work. As could doubling up on thick towels. Just head to your local thrift store, buy a bunch of cheap towels, wash them in hot, hot water, and bam, squirt protection. Dollar stores or places like Walmart are good places to get brand new towels for really cheap (especially if you're getting them for the express purpose of catching body fluids). I've honestly never seen a thrift store sell bath towels, that seems like the sort of thing that would get thrown out if donated.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 1, 2014 22:20
|
|
|
Fourthmeal Fanboy posted:Welp, that explains Black Friday. That's when you get the best deals on squirtin' towels.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 1, 2014 23:05
|
|
|
AlbieQuirky posted:Does it work better when she's on top? This happens to me if it's been a while since I've had sex and then all of sudden I start having a lot of sex again (especially if it's like multiple times in a day). But it usually goes away on its own after I get used to it again, so I suppose I'm not much help really. I notice it also seems to be worse if for some reason we aren't getting the angle just right, so that my partner ends up bumping into/rubbing into the area instead of just going straight in.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 7, 2014 03:31
|
|
|
Slumpy posted:No, way worse on top (edit: To clarify, way worse when pain is already present, if it's when she has no pain she can be on top for a while but the pain will pop up regardless). The easiest time we have is missionary despite our best efforts. Curious as to why you think it'd be hymen related? My understanding of it may be off. The hymen never completely goes away once a woman becomes sexually active. It just tears/stretches, but remnants of it are always around.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 7, 2014 05:53
|
|
|
Slumpy posted:Oh, no, I'm aware of that, just didn't really think it'd be tied to pain to a non vagina related part Well apparently they were talking about referred pain, which is when you feel pain in another part of your body rather than the one that's actually being irritated/injured or what have you.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 7, 2014 20:21
|
|
|
Violet_Sky posted:I can't seem to relax when I masturbate. I try to do when I'm lying down, but then my brain says "Okay, we've got to climax so that we can feel normal to other people. Our vagina isn't broke-ah,crap arousals gone again." I'm female, by the way. Probably your best bet is to try and get away from the idea that other people are normal while you aren't somehow. And not putting pressure on yourself to orgasm. In my experience, thinking you "have" to cum is basically a surefire way to kill the mood and make sure you never get there. Just relax, do whatever feels good to you. If you orgasm, great! If you don't it doesn't make you broken or abnormal, just someone who was having an off day or someone who's still figuring out what works for them. I realize it's all easier said than done, but really you just have to kind of get out of your own head and enjoy the moment.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 13, 2014 18:21
|
|
|
Vogler posted:Note: I am inexperienced and terrible at sex. If you mean you can't just like stick it in there without using your hands or something, that's not exactly unusual. There's nothing wrong with guiding it in with your hand (or hers).
|
|
#
¿
Apr 30, 2014 18:48
|
|
|
Vogler posted:No, I mean I have trouble even when using my hand. Ok, sorry that I misunderstood the question! 
|
|
#
¿
Apr 30, 2014 19:33
|
|
|
PlatinumJukebox posted:Yeah, pretty much this. She's also saying that 1) it's an issue with her body chemistry - something to do with stomach acidity - so it's not a psychological aversion, and 2) a large number of women have the same issue, i.e. they might be okay with tasting, swallowing etc, but they will end up just throwing it back up. I've heard of some people having trouble with the taste and I'll admit sometimes it makes my stomach feel a little strange, but I honestly think she's really overestimating how common it is to puke from swallowing semen. I've never heard of this from anyone before, particularly not in the context of some biological reaction.
|
|
#
¿
May 5, 2014 08:57
|
|
|
PlatinumJukebox posted:Really? Hmm... Is this worth bringing up with her? Don't want to make her feel uncomfortable or anything. I'm not saying that she's lying about herself, I'm just saying that I don't think it's as common as she thinks it is. Which really doesn't matter much anyway because it comes down to what you and her want to do/can work out with this. So I guess in short it's worth talking about if things aren't working for you and you want to figure something out, but it's not really worth bringing up in terms of "Oh someone thinks you're wrong on the internet."
|
|
#
¿
May 5, 2014 19:36
|
|
|
Telsa Cola posted:Alright well thats good to know. I will go pick up a prescription as soon as i can and I'm definitely going to cut porn out completely. Thanks for the advice. Personally I think you should just try to relax as much as you can and give it another shot before you go off to try and get a Viagra prescription. This is the kind of thing that happens to every guy at some point and in particular, is really common when you're with a new partner after a long spell. Especially if you've grown accustomed to getting stimulation from masturbating in that time. I know that's easier said than done and definitely talk to your doctor if you really want. But most likely you just had an off-day combined with the weirdness that comes with having a partner after not really having another person around for a while. AlistairCookie posted:/\/\ Depending on where he got them, he may be able to get a record of his vaccinations to see if he got them as a child. But I'm 28 years old and I know Hep B vaccination was not a required thing as a child and was strictly voluntary when I entered middle/high school. But that may vary by the state. And yeah, most county health departments will do vaccinations for free or just a nominal fee (they gave me the tetanus booster for free a few years back).
|
|
#
¿
May 6, 2014 23:43
|
|
|
loki k zen posted:Mostly I used it cause I can't think of a better word for 'occasion in which sex things are done up to and including what most people categorize as loving but also other stuff, or just the other stuff, whatever floats your boat' and didn't wanna start another derail on what counts as 'sex'. loving still works pretty well for that.
|
|
#
¿
May 9, 2014 01:48
|
|
|
sweetbeets posted:I was hoping someone could give me a bit of perspective. Some women do get pain when they ovulate, called "mittelschmerz" and that might be what your friends are thinking of. But that doesn't really sound like what you're describing since ovulation pain isn't really related to intercourse and wouldn't be happening multiple times a month unless you have a VERY weird menstrual cycle. As for what it could actually be, that's tough to say. I have occasionally experience pain, but it's usually because I got hit in cervix and isn't really in ovary-area (ovaries being more towards your hip bones, cervix more centralized). Could also be something like a cyst. Which is not a diagnosis mind you, this is really something that needs to be taken to a gynecologist because it doesn't sound normal or very fun to deal with. Also maybe the standards are different where you are, but usually once you become sexually active it's considered wise to be seen by a gynecologist at least every few years (or more often if you have problems).
|
|
#
¿
May 14, 2014 04:40
|
|
|
AlbieQuirky posted:I would see my GYN about that as soon as it was convenient. Ovarian pain that is triggered by pressure in or on the pelvic region (which it sounds like this is, if it's pain that only happens during intercourse) is something you want to get checked out. Yeah I've had mittelschmerz and it's usually just like a random pain that happens in the middle of the day or something, not pain triggered by sex itself.
|
|
#
¿
May 14, 2014 20:41
|
|
|
If you have these get-togethers planned in advance, maybe you could just masturbate a little while before you see her? That might make round 1 more like round 2 stamina-wise.
|
|
#
¿
May 15, 2014 20:07
|
|
|
Octy posted:Yeah, I thought that was going to be the advice. I'm sure next time will be easier and I'll be more relaxed and comfortable. And I'll definitely skip the beers. It's just nice to have that reassurance that it's not unusual. I actually should have read the whole thread first as there's a guy a couple pages back who has the same problem it appears. It didn't get gassed (or maybe it did and got ungassed). It just got moved to GBS for some reason, so I wouldn't expect much serious advice from it now. Also I don't think your situation is too unusual really. I've mentioned it in the thread before, but even people who have had sex before can have performance problems when they're with a new person, because it can always be a little awkward at first. And then sometimes it just happens for no apparent reason. I think most people understand that it's just one of those things that can happen and roll with it (especially since it sounds like you're still being considerate of her needs in the meantime).
|
|
#
¿
May 18, 2014 22:17
|
|
|
Turtlicious posted:When I was experimenting with my partner ^, I just lubed her up and slapped it in. Ymmv though. Maybe it just varies, but that can be a really bad way to do anal and it's better to err on the side of caution there rather than just "use a little lube and slap it on in." I've been with people who do that and it can really be the worst.
|
|
#
¿
May 20, 2014 23:41
|
|
|
Someone posted there was never any reason to get offended about it and he simply offered an example of a situation where maybe you would be offended. Yes it's nitpicky and kind of off-topic, but you're all completely missing the point of what he was saying.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 10, 2014 23:17
|
|
|
FROOOOOOOOG posted:e2: also the "how to butt sex" comic doesn't answer the "what do I do if I gently caress it up?" question, but I haven't found anywhere that explains that properly so whatever. I think best guess is it would mainly be stop whatever you're doing/attempting to do. And then possibly go to the ER or a your doctor if something REALLY hosed up.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 16, 2014 07:40
|
|
|
FROOOOOOOOG posted:Right, but if you don't notice until later that something is hosed up, and it's not super-cray-cray hosed up, but it's going to stop you enjoying buttsex for the forseeable future. What then? I've never run into an endorphin rush that was capable of overcoming that kind of pain (and that was just when we didn't have enough lube), so I don't think you're going to just not notice something like a full on injury happening. But I'm not really sure what you're looking for. If you don't stop and hurt yourself, that's where my previous "doctor" advice comes in. Or if you don't think it's that severe, then just give your butt a rest/time to heal.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 16, 2014 08:47
|
|
|
loki k zen posted:Block her. Cut out the drama as soon as it starts, your relationship will thank you. Personally I would say something first just to make it clear why it's happening, but then yes cut her off. Not drawn out discussion just a clear/final "Hey you're getting too attached here, this has to stop." But that's up to him. 
|
|
#
¿
Jun 23, 2014 00:11
|
|
|
Don't forget that alcohol is also a diuretic and the more dehydrated you are, the thicker (and less plentiful) your natural lubrication will be. It might also be why the lube doesn't work so well when you're drinking, if it's mixing with less and/or thicker natural secretions than usual.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 26, 2014 02:23
|
|
|
MyStereoHasMono posted:She's not on any birth control. She also said she hasn't experienced irregular bleeding other than when we had sex, but that there was light bleeding for a day or two after. Seeing a doctor to be safe is always a good idea, but in my own experience occasionally getting some spotting/bleeding after sex happens sometimes. Could be a tear or it could be that you're hitting her in the cervix at some point or just everything is getting jostled around in general. I think sometimes it also depends on where I am in my cycle. If it's getting close to my period (like a week or less) it tends to happen a lot.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 28, 2014 07:18
|
|
|
CeramicPig posted:He said that it hurts her when he first enters so I don't think he's knocking anything loose. My boyfriend has knocked some leftover blood loose before and it doesn't hurt, and it generally didn't get moving immediately with penetration. I'd think maybe some tearing or hitting the cervix, both of those suck rear end but I can't remember if blood came with the cervix. It's not so much "leftover blood" as it is just uterine lining which is present all month long. So you can get bleeding anytime if you knock things around enough.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 29, 2014 07:53
|
|
|
TrueChaos posted:Holy poo poo I forgot how awkward sex with someone who's a virgin is. An hour + of foreplay, and it was still difficult to get it in (and yes, she was very wet), and I'm not exactly big or anything. I must have done something right though, cause she's planning on "coming over tomorrow so I can jump you" Most likely she'll pick things up pretty quickly and it won't be awkward for long. I remember in my case after a few weeks it wasn't a problem. Keep in mind that not only is she a virgin but she's also a new sex partner in general (experienced or not) and that's always a little awkward until you figure each other out sexually. Then sometimes you'll both still have moments because you're human.  If I were you I'd just try to enjoy it and try not to get too hung up on experience levels. You can be a total novice and still good in bed and an experienced person can still be downright terrible. It's more about the individual than some RPG-esque XP thing.Edit: Or I guess to actually give advice: just try things out with her and have fun. It can be fun for you two to discover what turns her on together and get more creative as you both get more comfortable as partners. And it's not an absolute must for everyone, but of course it's good to have lube around. Kimmalah fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Jul 16, 2014 |
|
#
¿
Jul 16, 2014 18:11
|
|
|
Electric Bugaloo posted:Are there any risks to going down on a girl with a minor upper UTI/bladder infection? I'm a dude, if that matters. I don't know if it's risky for you, but it might not be such a great thing for her until things get a little more settled down there. Especially if she's taking antibiotics for it, which makes it really easy to get stuff like yeast infections. But I'm not an expert, her doctor might be better able to advise.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 24, 2014 00:38
|
|
|
The Door Frame posted:Yeah, me either, and the last time I cleared it up, I was dumb enough to rub my sack with isopropyl every time I showered for a week and that is a profoundly bad feeling I don't want to have again. Heading to the pharmacy I'm fairly certain they make over the counter stuff for guys, but if not you're still basically dealing with a fungal infection and the yeast infection treatments for women will work (obviously the creams, not the vaginal inserts and stuff). Stuff for athlete's foot will also work if you don't feel manly buying Monistat, just make sure it's safe for your junk first. Basically anything like miconazole, clotrimazole, etc. etc. MightyJoe36 posted:Butt stuff. Probably not a great idea if she's got an infection. Lube goes everywhere no matter how careful you are and it'll be full of the bacteria that probably caused the UTI in the first place.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 24, 2014 18:32
|
|
|
enthe0s posted:Thanks for the replies all. Good to know that all I need to do is basically chill the gently caress out and have her put it on me. Seems easy enough Like the other poster mentioned, it might also help just practicing when you're on you're own and masturbating. That way there's no pressure to perform and you can get used to the feeling.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 25, 2014 17:06
|
|
|
Ottoman posted:
This is good and a fun thing to do, but if she's trying to change things up a lot and take feedback from him, fingering could just really break her concentration. I know for me I usually have to just stop the blowjob altogether because after a certain point I can't focus enough to enjoy the feeling and also keep things from turning into a toothy nightmare for him. As for the original poster, yes it could be you but I don't see anything wrong with (gentle!) suggestions about how to do some things differently. Even you were a huge fan of receiving oral, what you describe doesn't sound all that fun and it's not surprising to me that you're not enjoying it much.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 27, 2014 17:53
|
|
|
Hydrolith posted:What's wrong with "ow. Please watch the teeth"? Judging from some responses to questions like this I've seen, a lot of people apparently think the world will end if you make any kind of request or offer feedback about what you like/don't like sexually. Even something as straightforward as "I don't like teeth on my dick."
|
|
#
¿
Jul 29, 2014 15:31
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 29, 2024 08:05 |
|
|
Hydrolith posted:This is more or less what I was getting at. Most cis vagina-havers can't come without clitoral stimulation, even during vaginal penetration. I haven't seen stats on anal penetration, though I can't imagine the numbers would be much higher. This is true for me, pretty much no matter what. Even if I get off from vaginal alone, it's usually because my clit is grinding into my partner's pelvis somehow.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 29, 2014 19:02
|
|