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Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

MancXVI posted:

Morning, sea warriors. It's April which means zany hilarious jokes from people that shouldn't be pulling pranks. Share all your lols and rofls in this thread.

In other news, I will be out of the Navy in 28 days. It's been interesting, to say the least. I'm not a nuke, submariner, corpsman, or SWO so my time wasn't completely miserable, but I'm ready to move on with my life.

Congratulations! <3

You are where I hope to be.

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Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Pepsi-Tan, just get a new recruiter somewhere else in town and try for active, or see if your current recruiter wouldn't mind switching it up to where you're in DEP for a bit longer but you are going active.

What are the intel ratings like? My LPO's been talking to me about cross-rating since I usually end up butting heads with corpsmen a lot, he came from CT and said I'd likely be a good fit for CTI or some other ones primarily because I'm a "free thinker and just plain weird". I imagine any other rating would be better than a hospital, encompassing its own bullshit. Personally I'm still interested in getting out, but he just sparked some curiosity as to what happens in the real Navy when it comes to jobs that require more proficiency at what you actually do rather than writing up a patient encounter and the provider gets the credit.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Octopode posted:

Sea-goons: I'm exactly one day away from my PCS to head out to Colorado Springs and work supervising a bunch of Air Force and Army dudes at DIA. How should I cope with their strange customs and a distinct lack of nearby ocean?

Burn tributes to Poseidon for your transgression of leaving his domain.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

poopkitty posted:

Ummm, aren't you awaiting trial or something? Pretty sure they frown on that in the top secret ratings.

Yeah, which Im quite stoked for. I was just wondering if what my LPO was telling me was accurate. I dont want to stay in this regardless of job, I was just curious and wanted some input that wasnt from a second class that had to cross rate forcibly.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Thanks for reminding me Sir Lucius, I think I would have been unawares and possibly assaulting people with my fat stack of NKO certs had you not.

Edit: Poopkitty, he is a total grumpy Star Wars sperg, so I can see how that would fit. I just like to ask you guys in this thread about stuff since I consider all of you wealths of knowledge for the Real Navy rather than the mix of Marine Corps/Navy that is a naval hospital. I'm not cross rating/attempting to cross rate, whether I go to NJP or CM or even if it gets dropped. From Chiefs changing the way they talk to fit whatever they want to put on their evals/into a sailor's ears, back door politics, the misleading of younger sailors so people can say they "rewarded" them with something, and the scapegoating to make an example out of someone to a larger group, among other things, I'm not going to even attempt to stay in. Sure, some of those things are found in the civilian sector, but, ultimately there's no chance that they will have my life in their hands, just my job.

FTN now, FTN tomorrow, FTN forever.

Pandasmores fucked around with this message at 14:18 on Apr 3, 2014

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Pepsi-Tan posted:

Hey dude, I live in San Diego and I'm about to go to bootcamp to be NAT IS.

Like literally, I'm leaving in 5 minutes. Later goons, I love all you crazy fuckers.

Hope you have as much fun as I did dude <3

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Whole division: Chief can we go to Ricky heaven?

:chiefsay: : Oh hell yeah, let's take you guys to Ricky heaven, gimme 5 minutes.

*ABF1 and CS2 show up with stripping agent and floor polish*

:chiefsay: : Little did you motherfuckers know my middle name is Ricky and seeing you bitch is my heaven. Strip this loving floor and then polish what you stripped you bunch of loving boots, I'm going to the Mess.


Training us for the fleet like a G.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Hobo de los Muertos posted:

Please, never join my beloved Information Dominance Corps...

Pfft, try and join a Corps that isn't the most combat decorated Corps in the service? All I did was ask questions about it, not planning on cross-rating :smug:

Don't see where a story from boot camp had anything to do with joining either...

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

orange juche posted:

So I have been LPO now for a month in my shop, and I have an ET3 under me, he is basically fresh out of C school, and I dunno how I can help this kid. He forgets poo poo all the time, goes off and does his own thing for hours at a time, doesn't inform other people of when he is going to do said things, and whenever anyone tries to talk to this kid he just shuts the gently caress down. He's smart as hell, really knows his poo poo, but for the love of god he is a terrible fit for the military. He has some personal issues in his past and is seeing mental health about them (I have treated him with kid gloves in the past because of that, I don't want the kid to off himself). But I am at my goddamn breaking point, I've finally decided to start taking poo poo down on paper, counseling chits, etc. to build a paper trail to show I haven't been doing gently caress all at trying to deal with the constant issues he causes, but what the hell do I do? Every time I tell him he hosed up, he goes into a funk and shuts down and starts heaping poo poo on himself and it's just loving infuriating. He makes my DIVO look bad, my chief look bad, me look bad, he basically makes the whole shop look like poo poo. It is embarrassing as poo poo to have your CO tell you to get a handle on some junior sailor because he lost his poo poo and walked off in the middle of talking to a senior chief.

Sorry for the E/N mash of poo poo in this post, but I am just at a loss of what to do. My chief has tried to help him too, and we've talked about him at length, and neither of us know how to handle this kid, beyond referring him to mental health and making sure he goes to appointments.

Honestly you're doing the best you can. Going to mental health isn't an immediate fix for anything, and partly goes off into a responsibility of the member 70% of the time while the other 30% is their counselor. Sounds to me like the kid needs to have some positive reinforcement along with correcting his actions. Since he's breaking down, try pointing out some aspects of his duties that he's performing great, while at the same time showing him where he needs to fix his poo poo. Keep writing him up for a papertrail and let him know that it's only a part of your job to keep a physical record of the counselings. If you send him to DRB > XOI > Mast he might just break down even more. Admittedly, he sounds like a lovely fit for the military regardless of how well he understands the stuff being dealt to him, but I think part of that is his own misunderstanding of what's being told to him.

He joined the military. He's not being forced to go on volunteer poo poo. He's not being forced to gently caress a tranny without a condom. Kid needs to just see that it's part of his job to listen and obey and take the constructive criticism so that he betters himself. If he can't do that, then he might need to be admin sep'd. He probably has poo poo self confidence and just needs that push towards "You're doing an ok job as far as knowing poo poo, but this is where you can improve" and he might be able to turn around. If he walked away while talking to Senior Chief, I'd hate to see what'll happen when you stick him in a room with 10 of them.

Edit:
Also, sorry for the whining. Can't drink and aiming for a certain number of months sober so I really don't have anywhere to vent but here :smith:

Pandasmores fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Apr 9, 2014

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009


Thats pretty loving awesome.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Have you done your annual sexual assault training for the third time this year?

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Sir Lucius posted:

Do they give the same sappr training everywhere? Ours had a mascot, Blocky, the sexual assault prevention blocktopus. He has consentacles. I'm not making this poo poo up.

Cockblocktopus better stay at your command.

Im just glad they dont have us sign page 13s promising we won't assault each other.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Mad Pino Rage posted:

I guess if you aren't sexually assaulting someone or doing unauthorized substances, you're probably a child molester. I think I counted 5 different court martials.

http://www.navytimes.com/article/20140415/NEWS06/304150049/Navy-releases-March-court-martial-results

I thought it took "an act of Congress" to take away anchors, military judges can do it too?

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Mr. Nice! posted:

One of the only ways you'll see someone lose anchors that doesn't involve prison time are people that are frocked but not yet advanced to chief.

I've seen this happen, it was something about how they aren't getting paid and aren't "officially" that rank yet.

I've also seen where the rate suspension happens, but doesn't that basically mean "you gently caress up again, I'll take it away" and it's only there for the amount of time allotted to them?

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Mr. Nice! posted:

You're basically right on the suspended bust. It does open the door for your skipper to take 2 stripes at once, though. If you're currently on a suspended bust, they can institute that and bust you again at your new mast. Also, if you're only frocked to the next pay grade, it isn't actually a bust to take away the new rank since you're not actually advanced. A frocked Sailor on a suspended bust can drop three ranks in an instant.

Thats pretty cool in a hosed up way. I find it interesting that we frock people to the next grade and wait to see if they gently caress up before we give them pay.

Cant wait to see people going to DRB and XOI for smoking if they ban tobacco products. I picked up the habit with a vape which isnt quite the same thing when I was in alcohol treatment. Its hella nice.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

I met a radar tech dude that has a twin whom he took on a tiger cruise. The first day in port he was let aboard by someone on watch that knew the radar tech and the non member twin was lost aboard for a few hours running around the ship trying to find his way around. He ended up getting chewed out by a Chief and he got a bad taste in his mouth on the Navy. A year later non member twin joins the Army and the radar tech crossed blue to green with him. Both ended up doing some poo poo as 14Js.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Akula Raskolnikova posted:

So I'm almost done with HM A school, I just got my orders today. I'm going to be an 8506, lab tech. Any opinions from the HM's?

Congrats on getting something totally bad rear end. Except for the sigting through dependant poo poo and piss for obscure diseases and likely annoying the duty driver with sample transfers to other hospitals with proper equipment for spectrometry you'll likely have an enjoyable experience. At small hospitals you'll likely be off the watchbill for the hospital and in a larger one you'll probably be doing shift work because of wards and Maternal Infant Units where military crotch spawn grace us with their presence. Probably wont have much patient interaction other than sticking people which you should get good at. I swear to loving god if you blow up people's veins and you're a lab tech you loving suck major dick. If you're any HM specialty and you blow up someone's veins while working with needles for the past 4 months youre a lovely HM. (This comes from a Psych Tech that never sticks anyone and was on the ambulance watchbill with a paramedic and never once did I blow up a vein.)

Also, I suggest you look on Navy COOL or ask your instructors if they've gotten their certs for phlebotomy tech or whatever it is you qual for. Could lead to yoy moonlighting and making decent money on the side.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

tuluk posted:

Wow, good advice. You're a true shipmate. Repost that :chiefsay: meme so we can all laugh.

Idk, all the HMs that have gotten it are actually making mad bank out at civilian hospitals and laughing at the Chiefs and HM1s that do the whole "Are you reenlisting?" spiel. Maybe having some real Navy job screws you over lol.

Done your GMTs yet, though? :chiefsay:

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Anyone here use an ecig? Picked up the habit in rehab and now it's pretty sweet. I now get what all the liking of tobacco is and how it just makes everything chill in its own way because this buzz is cool. Also, 86 days sober :toot:

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Akula Raskolnikova posted:

I didn't pick it. I asked to go 0000, but I have a 97 average and pissed off a bunch of my instructors, so now I get to be a lab tech.

Well at least you didn't piss them off and get Psych Tech, so there's a bright side to it.

poo poo, I even dropped my GPA to like 80 trying to get them to take it away and they were like "lol no".

Meh, if sucking on a robot dick is going to cool me down when deep breathing, lifting, and meditation fails while also keeping me from wanting to eat poo poo away or purchase copious amounts of alcohol then I'll deeply inhale Bender's holy vapors, from Mom with love. That's weird that you guys get smoke breaks though. Guess because we are "healthcare professionals" and are asked to maintain an example of it when around the hospital we aren't allowed to have breaks.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Dip bottle? I thought all the cool pros like the MAs here just swallowed their dip.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Christoff posted:

Yeah, you got hosed. They can't make you do any c-school. Unless you DEP in as a dental tech. You volunteered for it somehow you probably just didn't realize it.

No sense in trying to find a way to get out of going to lab tech school, unless you are a flawless candidate for Recon/BUDS (the only time I've ever seen someone's orders change). Just avoid orders to Lemoore or 29 Palms and you'll likely end up in a decent place to spend the rest of your enlistment deciding if it's worth it to stay in or make plans on getting out.


What's a coner?

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Cole posted:

I got out of the army on the 18th so I'm not allowed to post in the army thread for a month.

Congratulations on your new found freedom from painting rocks!

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

krispykremessuck posted:

please put this in next month's navy thread tia or this one too I guess


http://clyp.it/playlist/nkenjvzq

This is loving beautiful.

I-is this what the real navy is like?

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Christoff posted:

No it's just the only c-schoo/NEC you can get from DEP? Unless you're a reservist maybe

You can get almost any school written into your contract, even 8404, and if you have the civilian training (such as XRay tech) for it the Navy can draft up stuff to have you go to some of the specialty schools (such as X Ray tech c school) to just get familiar with any specific Navy side stuff. For some NECs its required to have prior experience (Mortician). Homeboy DEPed in, went to A school, got to FMTB, picked orders at FMTB for Oki. Another was offered to go from reserves to active to be an x ray tech in a billet that opened up in his town.

Hell, as a reservist you can get the 20k bonus written in without FMTB attached if you're sneaky enough at MEPS like good ol man Bing did.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Christoff posted:

I always crack up when fatties bitch about body fat % and taping. Yes, the system they use is terribly inaccurate but the only people who fail being taped are fat fucks. If anything I think the standards should be set higher for the weigh in and actual physical test but that's just me.

"i'm not fat I just have a small neck and big waist! I do the elliptical 3 times a week! Yes, of course I want fries with that."

:qqsay:

Lol, this is what my old LPO was raging on about. Dude's got a gut that makes me worry the bottom 2 buttons on his NWUs will result in a work related accident when they lose the motivation to keep his blouse together. I've seen body builders with chiseled bodies that make me question my sexuality fail the BCA though, so I do call bullshit on some of the measurements but drat, at least those guys limit how much muscle they're packing on so they pass and don't do ridiculous body wraps with ghost pepper-lemon water mixes to pass the BCA so they can start up eating In n Out every day afterwards.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

It's not that difficult to get into "Good" range though. If you can't run the mile and a half in under 12 minutes and you're less than 25 years old you probably have problems. It's why the good lord made it where you can just ride the bike or swim or something. If some fat rear end can pass it, there's no reason a fit dude can't jump on that bitch, put the resistance high and just pump their legs/arms on the machines until they pass 12 minutes or whatever the hell the minimum is.

The moment they "nuke" the PFA and make it rate specific is the day someone's just gonna find another reason why it's inaccurate and bitch about it.

Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

Christoff posted:

As an FMF HM you can do the Marine standards for height and weight and CFT. It was an option when I checked in. I'm not sure if it's just where I'm stationed or Navy wide but apparently it's not an option anymore because, from what I heard, Marine higher ups got tired of salty fat HMs cruising around with wild hair cuts in their uniforms

But yeah maybe something like the CFT instead of the PFA would be better. The run push-ups and sit-ups is just silly.


They asked us 5 times if we wanted to do the crossing the line. And at anytime we could pretty much call training time out. We had to have crossed it at least twice but never did it. I don't know what happened.

I'm a filthy pollywog :(

Or ditch the way the HM rating is set up now and make it to where you can choose either green side or blue to keep away from the whole "But I don't wanna be blue/green side!" and getting dudes with a division that have no place patching people up. Also keeps people that want to go green from being nailed blue. Then again, it was always hilarious seeing my friend with 1st MARDIV getting the deathglare whenever we were on Pendleton because some pog hated his full sleeves and month long lack of a haircut.

HM CFT should be you applying a triage, application of life saving poo poo like tourniquets, and moving a body. To keep it limited in complexity, you simulate the combat as a single person, not a team in a FOB so none of that two-man carry business. This applies to all shore commands, regardless of green/blue.

If you're on a ship, you do the whole SCBA/FFE poo poo and triage/application of life saving poo poo for the situation. If instructors want to keep saying about how great and vital HMs are, we better prove it :smug:

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Pandasmores
May 8, 2009

TrialbyStone posted:

I'm going to do this right now.

I will also include "You're almost there" on the first day of every month until October 2016.

Only 635 days left until my special day in January 2016. :D

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