April Navy Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > April Navy Thread

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Cole posted:

I was going to join the navy but my cousin was like "hey I heard you're joining the gay-vy" and I changed my mind and joined the army but wish I had joined the navy welp that's my story thanks for having me

It's basically like this all day every day

# ¿ Apr 2, 2014 04:09

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 21:42

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

ded posted:

Supposedly this happened around 95. I heard the rumors about it happening a few months after I got out of boot but figured it was bullshit. Then one of my A-school instructors transferred to my boat in 96/97 I forget, and he told me how one of the guys in A-school pulled out a stress card he had from boot when he was yelling at him about him doing lovely on a test. I don't know if it is an accurate story because they guy loved to tell stories but there is my 'story' about it.

No. It never happened. It is made up and has been made up or 20 drat years.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2014 21:32

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

ded posted:

Figures. lovely Smitty did earn his name.

Also

quote:

The military's "stress card" legend is one of those tales that had the smallest kernel of truth to it, but that truth is almost unrecognizable in the form the scuttlebutt has since taken.

For a few years during the 1990s, the US Navy did issue "stress cards" to new recruits, but they weren't the "Get out of jail free" coupons military lore has since turned them into. Rather, these cards listed resources the newcomers could contact "if things pile[d] up." The cards were strictly for informational purposes: they informed recruits who were thinking of "giving up" or "running away" of available support services they could turn to for assistance.

Navy RDCs (Recruit Division Commanders) began reporting that some recruits had taken to raising their cards while being disciplined as a way of signaling for a "time out." It's unclear whether any of those enduring basic training really thought that was the purpose of the cards or whether this was just standard armed forces jackassing, but the Navy took no chances and got rid of the cards.

This short-lived experiment with providing recruits with clear information about whom to contact when things went bump in the night has morphed into an unflattering and unsettling illustration of today's soldier as a creampuff. Notice how the story has mutated into one where the drill instructors are portrayed as honor bound to obey the cards when they are displayed to them, an aspect that wasn't part of things during the real cards' short life. The story has also widened its net; what was a Navy hand-out has, in the world of rumor, become a card issued to Army and Marine recruits, making this an Armed Forces-wide phenomenon.

If there's one constant in all branches of the military, it's :clint:

"back in my day we weren't coddled little human being pansies!" BSing.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2014 23:12

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Booblord Zagats posted:

So you're saying Navy P-3 pilots are just their embassy to the Air Force.

I can see that.

They're "deployed" to places that let them bring their families with, they never really seem to accomplish anything and they somehow make the Marine Air Wing look like a group of highly functional adults.

Checks out

Also, per diem.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2014 17:00

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Fart Sandwiches posted:

Best part about the IDW is that they are pretending it's a real warfare pin.

They're rolling IDC officers into URL for some reason so the pretense goes up pretty high.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 03:27

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

ManMythLegend posted:

What? When did they announce this?

It was put out as factual by the IDC regional commander, but on further googling I'm seeing that it's been "right around the corner" for like 5 years now so :shrug:

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 13:40

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

ManMythLegend posted:

The idea that a strike group might someday be led by a METOC officer terrifies me.

Which is why it's dumb as hell. The reasoning is that we need to start thinking of information space as its own warfare area, that the URL types in charge of things don't give enough weight to non-kinetic options because they aren't "real" fighting. However that really only applies to the IW and maybe IP officers (I'm not really sure what those guys really do) but lol @ those guys filling command at sea billets. So after seeing that "it's really gonna happen" since at least 2011, I'll bet that the Tenth Fleet folks will continue to push it and the URL brass will continue to say no.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 15:11

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

My reserve unit wants to make me CFL, which is pretty weird for an O4 but I'm literally the only person in the command who is physically qualified for the position. :thumbsup:

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 19:59

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Pandasmores posted:

I thought it took "an act of Congress" to take away anchors, military judges can do it too?

Yeah, a court martial can bust any enlisted down.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2014 23:43

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

orange juche posted:

Did you see the ~~senior chief~~ seaman recruit who got busted for disobeying an order from a superior officer, child pornography, and I think child abuse? He got 22 years in the brig. Should be in navy times, I would post links but I am on my phone ATM.

...what was the order?

# ¿ Apr 16, 2014 04:30

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Sir Lucius posted:

Guys, I passed my IDW board the last day possible before they throw the books out for new ones. I'm highly trained in irrelevant knowledge!

uuhhh... welcome to Navy advancement bibliographies?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2014 17:49

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Add to great privileges of being an officer: not having to fit in by dipping like an inbred hillbilly.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2014 14:42

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Boon posted:

Counterpoint: people don't open up about things quite like they do on the smoke deck at night.

I didn't say I didn't use tobacco, I just didn't have a wad of dip in my mouth and a gross plastic bottle in my coverall pocket at all times.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2014 15:51

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

I'm glad that "texting my DH" isn't something I ever considered when drinking. Or sober, for that matter.

# ¿ Apr 26, 2014 14:54

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Sir Lucius posted:

Right, a fat neck means you're not fat by Navy standards. How does that work?

Fatties usually gain fat in the belly disproportionately so people who are just big-boned or muscular will have proportional stomach-neck measurements.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2014 04:12

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 21:42

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

ManMythLegend posted:

lol, I love listening to people bitch out BFA standards. I mean, I totally think the system is inaccurate and terrible, but very few of the people who cry about it are the extremely jacked dudes that it really screws with.

I think my favorite was the morbidly obese LT I went to Dhalgren and Department Head School with. I had to sit next to her in Dhalgren and watched her cram cookies, soda, and twinkies into her mouth every day in class. One of the other girls in the class literally caught her licking the crumbs of a Little Debbie of some fashion off the desk. Unsurprisingly she tanked the weigh-in we did the first week in Newport and then immediately started crying that the CFL who taped her pulled the tape too tight on her neck so she would fail. A fine leader in our Navy.

Edit: Seriously though. Ditch the PRT, it is stupid. Replace it with an "Endurance Practical" that consists of donning an FFE and SCBA, climbing down to the bottom of the live fire trainer with a hose team, and fight a simulated mainspace fire until you tap out. Your score is based on how long you last. It doesn't matter if you are a career shore sailor or not, get the gently caress in that hole.

FYI, passing out due to heat stress is a bad thing.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2014 16:30

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > April Navy Thread