Premier League's April Fools: David Moyes, Arsene Wenger, Jozy Altidore

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Premier League's April Fools: David Moyes, Arsene Wenger, Jozy Altidore

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jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Sturridge plus 3 from Lallana, Rooney, Sterling, Barkley is a great front 4 no matter what way you cut it imo. England are in a good place for attacking options right now.

BSE how does Redmond look for Norwich these days? Often on MotD he looks really good because he's the only Norwich player who does anything going forward.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2014 09:35

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 11:33

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

DickEmery posted:

Just relegate West Ham anyway, half their supporters would be up for it if it got rid of the fatty.

i would accept that deal, yes

# ¿ Apr 4, 2014 13:26

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

not not luvd posted:

Off topic but they'll win the league comfortably next year IMO.

I think Liverpool will struggle to defend their title, but I wouldn't write them off

# ¿ Apr 7, 2014 15:49

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Strawman posted:

The team whose captain called his teammate's brother a loving black oval office?

Their next kit should have a sash

# ¿ Apr 7, 2014 22:16

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Burqa King posted:

If they miss out on fourth, who'll want to come?

Everton fans, probably

E: didn't realise I was two pages behind

# ¿ Apr 10, 2014 14:28

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

JFairfax posted:

Scouse women's natural habitat.

you can tell it's liverpool because of the purple bins.

but they haven't been nicked yet so who knows

# ¿ Apr 10, 2014 17:09

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Most fans of every club are the worst, hth

# ¿ Apr 10, 2014 17:20

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

I don't really like Liverpool but they have been cool and good this season. I have particularly enjoyed the meltdowns from ABLs, of which there have been many in this very thread

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 12:35

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Chelsea will not win the Barclay's this season

# ¿ Apr 11, 2014 20:21

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Deketh posted:

Didn't catch the Fulham-Norwich game, how did Norwich play?

They were good and unlucky. If they had bought a competent striker instead of the Wolf they'd be safe by now

# ¿ Apr 12, 2014 22:48

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

They should have sacked Hughton 6 weeks ago by the looks of things. Will be sad to see you guys go, now where will Leeds players graduate to?

# ¿ Apr 12, 2014 23:03

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

stickyfngrdboy posted:

Can't believe Norwich lost that game. Crazy.

Btw if anyone is watching motd Ince and fowler are a new low. Apparently anyone who played for Liverpool at, Erm, any point, can, you know, can become a f-f-footy pundit even, even, if, if they, if, if they can't string a, you know, senten, er, sentence together.

They're trying to show that Hansen and Shearer aren't so bad after all

# ¿ Apr 12, 2014 23:07

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Charlie Adam is even uglier with that mask on, Jesus Christ

# ¿ Apr 12, 2014 23:46

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Hashtag Banterzone posted:

The protests against Mike Ashley, the complaints about Pardew, people bitching about selling Cabaye and Carroll, etc.

All of this is reasonable for any club. Ashley is a PR disaster; Pardew is mentally ill; Cabaye was their only competent midfielder and they didn't replace him; I think most fans were actually amazed to get so much for Carroll and were happy when they get a load of good players in using that money.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2014 17:42

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Hashtag Banterzone posted:

no i made it up on the spot.

Maybe my mistake was posting about newcastle fans when there wasn't something going on for them to complain about. I should've mentioned it after the winter transfer window ended as they seemed very upset that Ashley wouldn't pay a premium to sign a Cabaye replacement so Newcastle could finish 8th instead of 10th.

Selling your best player and not replacing him is a reasonable thing to be annoyed about imho

Also writing off your season in loving January

# ¿ Apr 14, 2014 19:00

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Shrapnig posted:

I didn't read the post he quoted and just assumed he was talking about Arsenal.

Skipping wk4f posts is something I too should learn to do.

e: speaking of Arsenal I fancy us to go and get a cheeky point at the Emirates tomorrow

jesus WEP fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Apr 14, 2014

# ¿ Apr 14, 2014 19:12

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Spangly A posted:

It'd be nice if we had Ravel. As it is, with Moncur gone too, the best we can hope for is Noble/Diame/Nocerino. In fact that's literally the only option that doesn't involve Joe Cole or Alou Diarra.

Nocerino isn't ready for Premiership football just yet, not enough experience *plays Matt Taylor as a midfielder instead*

# ¿ Apr 15, 2014 15:53

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

euroboy posted:

another conspiracy theory i like and can get behind is that hulls owner wants The Tigers to lose against arsenal this weekend because they'll be guaranteed europa league football if arsenal finish in the top four

But they'll be guaranteed Europa League football when they tank Arsenal in the final so idgi???

# ¿ Apr 15, 2014 18:44

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Hughes was fantastic at Blackburn and decent at Fulham. His managerial spells ate like Star Trek movies.

# ¿ Apr 16, 2014 08:17

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

I was merely beheading this infidel as a show of support to my friend Dieudonne

# ¿ Apr 16, 2014 14:21

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Barry Shitpeas posted:

I think if we beat Liverpool they are more likely to stumble afterwards than we are. I realise we've lost two easy games on paper over the last few weeks but we are literally playing 3 of the bottom 4, 2 of them at home

You really don't want to play teams at the bottom in the run-in. You want mid table losers like West Ham, Newcastle and Man Utd.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2014 13:37

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

emjayo posted:

can't disagree with mr redknapp there

Angry Jamie Redknapp is actually a pretty good pundit, it turns out

# ¿ Apr 19, 2014 21:08

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Heskie posted:

If only there was a Chelsea man on set to defend Jos�.

If even Glen Hoddle thinks you're mental....

# ¿ Apr 19, 2014 21:30

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Byolante posted:

Is this a bigger mystery that the secret floor shitter?

Everyone knows that was Poyet though?

# ¿ Apr 19, 2014 23:56

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Fergie's coming back for another year imo

# ¿ Apr 21, 2014 16:11

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Good itking Taff

Would take Moyes at West Ham all day long fwiw

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 08:39

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

chuggo is BACK posted:

Wow giggs will gently caress anything haha

lmao

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 13:00

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

I hope they sign van Gaal, he'll have decked Rooney within a week

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 13:10

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

vyelkin posted:

Also the one time when Cleverley looked like a football player was when he was at Wigan under Martinez. I wouldn't be surprised if Martinez signs him for Everton and he turns out decent.

He'd do a job there for sure, especially with Barry probably not sticking around for another year.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 13:20

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

serious gaylord posted:

He may be, but i cant stand his football or his philophies hes an awful human being and the way hes turned that exciting bayern team into a bunch of dreary turds that playact worse than his barcelona team is criminal.

when he made that diving action after Rooney got Schweini sent off I almost smashed my TV. He is a turd OP.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 13:24

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Taff posted:

Also Ive just talked to my source and apparently Phils only staying till the end of the season at the moment.

But then who will you pretend to get info from?

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 17:25

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Eric Cantonese posted:

"Is the Shiksa in today?" It was a coded way of asking if Moyes was in his office.

David Goyes

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 17:44

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

tekz posted:

van Gaal would be perfect for them, hard to imagine him putting up with the bullshit Moyes has from Giggs, Ferdinand, Rooney etc.

The press over here would slaughter van Gaal. It would be amazing.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 18:29

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Modus Trollens posted:

mods rename me Ashley Cole's Beard

I think there's already a goon called Cheryl Cole

# ¿ Apr 22, 2014 20:14

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

c0burn posted:

Has that little poo poo Ramires been banned yet?

He's gone from "good lad running all day" to "snide oval office throwing sneaky elbows and kicks all day" in the season that Mou returned. Makes you think

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 00:00

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Barry Shitpeas posted:

Chelsea will field a weakened team, play defensively and win 1-0 on the counter. Mourinhowned

lol if you think you're keeping a clean sheet at Anfield with Schwartzer in goal.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 10:03

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Modus Trollens posted:

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/apr/23/manchester-united-beat-chelsea-luke-shaw-transfer-david-moyes

Apparently united are going to pay Shaw 100k a week and even Chelsea won't match that. loving lol a shame he won't be in the CL though

what a joke of a club, paying a defender with 1 cap 150k a week

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 14:23

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Burqa King posted:

I genuinely don't understand the giggs hate. So he shagged someone, big deal! I might do the same if i were famous

Bros before hoes. Especially if your bro is literally your bro.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 15:53

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

I think people are getting carried away with how good Crystal Palace are tbh. They're playing well but I'd be surprised if they took more than a point from their 2 games against Liverpool and City.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2014 12:43

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 11:33

jesus WEP: Oct 17, 2004

Ziggy Tzardust posted:

Winston Reid. Apparently, several of the big clubs are looking to go after him in the summer.

A good player for sure but I can see him loving up at a big club. He should just stay at West Ham forever please.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2014 08:17

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > Premier League's April Fools: David Moyes, Arsene Wenger, Jozy Altidore

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