Wiseblood posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRf800DiOrc

From Chip Cheezum's You Testament LP, a dramatic reading of two of M Dickie's blog posts (voiced by Edwyn Tiong, who's kinda like the Steve Blum of Newgrounds). The level is off the charts.

some guy on giantbomb posted:

I don't understand when and how this game got so popular. It seems so stupid. Also I don't like that games put the simulator name on things that are not simulators. This is as arcadey as it gets.

quote:

I must say I'm impressed. Driving a truck seems surprisingly funny, and my girlfriend too asked me lots of times "plz let me play". NO, I WON'T LET YOU PLAY. I'M THE MAN HERE, AND ONLY MEN ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE TRUCKS. Uhn.

Kewpuh posted:

some guy cried about the ending to Metal Gear Solid 4

Azurrat posted:

This is the third-highest rated review for Euro Truck Simulator 2.

Smarmy Coworker posted:

that guy, was me. except during, and not after.

AugmentedVision posted:

That's not cringe, it's a joke.

Smarmy Coworker posted:

you can't tell me you didn't tear up a little when snake knelt in the graveyard about to kill himself

AugmentedVision posted:

I skipped the cutscenes.

Tracula posted:

Between this and your posts in the FTL thread I'm presuming you really are an idiot or just trolling.

Smarmy Coworker posted:

aw
you missed out on like 30 hours of the game dude

Smarmy Coworker posted:

you can't tell me you didn't tear up a little when snake knelt in the graveyard about to kill himself

Tatum Girlparts posted:

No to be fair I cried too.

When the cutscene kept going and I realized it was a way too long terrible ending instead of a fitting 'Snake feels the world no longer needs soldiers like him and kills himself on the grave of the closest thing to a parent/friend/whatever he ever had, finally ending the legacy of Big Boss in the world'.

Tatum Girlparts posted:

No to be fair I cried too.

When the cutscene kept going and I realized it was a way too long terrible ending instead of a fitting 'Snake feels the world no longer needs soldiers like him and kills himself on the grave of the closest thing to a parent/friend/whatever he ever had, finally ending the legacy of Big Boss in the world'.

DARPA Dad posted:

Racism, sexism and all that stuff is really good

DARPA Dad posted:

Racism, sexism and all that stuff is really good

FirstAidKite posted:

I recently posted on the steam forums for a game called 3 Stars of Destiny to not support the developer because all of his games, especially those in the same series as his 3 Stars of Destiny series, are super creepy and misogynistic and awful and have a plot that can be summed up as "the developer's extremely dominant self-insert rescues his extremely submissive 16 year-old elf waifu from being raped by the bad guys because the bad guys plan to rape her with a dragon in order to create a stronger dragon."

Some of the responses before the developer closed the thread were pretty hilarious.












I never thought it'd turn into such a honeypot thread

Internet Kraken posted:

Don't commit the crime of being hispanic and playing Dota.



My favorite part is how he assumes owning a car alone means his life is already better than theirs.

Chaltab posted:

Or that he just assumes that they're Mexican when like the majority of countries in the western hemisphere have predominantly Spanish-speaking populations.

So someone posted a promotional image of Rosalina with her suit and an ATV from Mario Kart 8. Her suit is white and is textured like leather. Of course, gamers being gamers, creepy happened.

Instant Grat posted:

Azurrat posted:

This is the third-highest rated review for Euro Truck Simulator 2.

Tracula posted:

Between this and your posts in the FTL thread I'm presuming you really are an idiot or just trolling.

Instant Grat posted:

Tatum Girlparts posted:

No to be fair I cried too.

When the cutscene kept going and I realized it was a way too long terrible ending instead of a fitting 'Snake feels the world no longer needs soldiers like him and kills himself on the grave of the closest thing to a parent/friend/whatever he ever had, finally ending the legacy of Big Boss in the world'.

AugmentedVision posted:

I'm sorry, ONLY MEN ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE TRUCKS written in the middle of an obvious joke review with poor grammar is serious sexism on par with "punch that bitch in the face". I'll check my cisgender straight white male privilege and say 100 "PIV is always rape"s as punishment.

Adam Bowen posted:

This thread is and has always been basically a revival of that "Safe place to talk about how much you hate cis white males" thread that turned the Games forum into an utter shithole for months afterward. So check your privilege right into killing yourself, penis-having rapist.

Adam Bowen posted:

This thread is and has always been basically a revival of that "Safe place to talk about how much you hate cis white males" thread that turned the Games forum into an utter shithole for months afterward. So check your privilege right into killing yourself, penis-having rapist.

BARONS GAMES WHINER posted:

TWO: Put your quotes, in quotes. So people don't think it's you spewing this awful, retarded junk! We wouldn't want that would we?

Len posted:

I got the punishtube mobile site.

quote:

This thread is and has always been basically a revival of that "Safe place to talk about how much you hate cis white males" thread that turned the Games forum into an utter shithole for months afterward. So check your privilege right into killing yourself, penis-having rapist.

quote:

Ubisoft is reportedly terrified of the backlash, and is asking gamers to trust them and that the game will look great. They offered very little physical evidence so far to support their claims even though they claimed to have actual footage of this "superior" build.

If the footage of the "real" gameplay existed, they would have posted it instead of just asking us to trust them. This is possibly the most unprofessional thing I have seen any major company do.

Now, what do you think? Is anyone else getting an Aliens Colonial Marines vibe here? I mean, yeah there are graphics downgrades but I never seen anything this drastic. If they lied that much about the graphics, I wonder what else they might have lied about. For all I know, this could end up like Duke Nukem forever, a game that was doomed by development hell.

I was planning on preordering it, but now I will wait for reviews and actual in game footage instead of this mish mash of mixed gen footage. The fact ubisoft is tight lipped and relied on twitter is really making me want to wait. They don't sound confident in their game at all if all they do is deflect, deny, and ignore. I cannot afford to drop 60$ on a dud or even an Aliens: Colonial Marines. I doubt anyone can.

If it does turn out to be that bad, I wonder what the hell watch dogs was like before they delayed it for 6 months. I always wondered why the screenshots they showed were almost non existent a couple weeks before release with no pre orders in sight anywhere. Even on steam.

I know everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off and doesn't necessarily prove anything because of hysteria, but the lackluster response from Ubisoft is making me worry. If it was last gen footage, why not just say that? Instead of insulting games from much smaller companies and saying that graphics ultimately doesn't matter? After they marketed the hell out graphics and promised mind blowing graphics?

So what do you think escapist? Has this scandal made you wait? Is it just nitpicking? Did this make you weary of Ubisoft? What are your thoughts?

quote:

I think Aliens was just a drastic overstepping of a boundary that is crossed often and not stridently by a lot of other games and their previews. But yes, Ubisoft should be afraid, because not supplying what you advertise is a sure way to get even the people who are interested to doubt you.

gyrobot posted:

Lets keep the "cisgamers.txt" to special occasions, it's fine to smack a few shut in wizards verbally

AugmentedVision posted:

OK let's drop the 20 billion layers of sarcasm and irony going on here and get things straight. You think I'm a "shut in wizard" because, out of all the things posted ITT, I don't think "ONLY MEN ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE TRUCKS" is particularly poor taste?

AugmentedVision posted:

OK let's drop the 20 billion layers of sarcasm and irony going on here and get things straight. You think I'm a "shut in wizard" because, out of all the things posted ITT, I don't think "ONLY MEN ARE ALLOWED TO DRIVE TRUCKS" is particularly poor taste?

CharlestheHammer posted:

Well because you are kind of an insufferable rear end in a top hat about it really.

Just let it go, its not a big deal.

AugmentedVision posted:

Maybe if you got your head out of your group-thinking rear end, you'd see that I'm being perfectly reasonable.

Just let it go, its not a big deal.

Alouicious posted:

the second you use the phrase "group-think" you should really start reevaluating your position, in the argument and in life

AugmentedVision posted:

I just wanted a generic insult to point out the irony of starting out with name-calling and ending with an ostensibly mature and bigger-man "let it go". I will make more of an effort next time.

MacGyvers_Mullet posted:

If you wanted a generic insult, you probably should have gone for one that didn't also acknowledge that everyone else thinks you're an rear end in a top hat too.