The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

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Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

achillesforever6 posted:

Quality opinions on the Spoony Experiment wrestling subforum

Christ, I don't really like Lesnar that much and even I'd never say something as obviously stupid as "He's a dime a dozen meathead"

# ¿ Mar 25, 2015 03:28

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 10:49

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

MassRafTer posted:

I think they'll do Taker's retirement match on the show, and I'd expect some sort of a special guest match for either Cena or HHH plus whatever the title match is. I'm not sure what they'd do but I think they'll try.

What'd be incredible is if Brock actually won at Mania and then faced Rock at Mania 32 for the title after a year of fresh non-Cena matchups, then won AGAIN. Could you imagine a literal 2-and-a-half-year build to Brock's final defeat at Mania 33, be it at the hands of a rebuilt Reigns or Zayn or Balor or someone else entirely? That'd be nuts and incredible to witness. Plus they would break Punk's title record AND be able to say they did something even ballsier than the vaunted 18 month Hogan/Sting build.

If there was ever somebody Vince would consider doing something like that with, Brock Lesnar is it.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2015 10:19

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

SamuraiFoochs posted:

I love you man

Too sweet me

Don't do it Foochs, Vince will sue you.

# ¿ Mar 28, 2015 10:05

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Rodney the Piper posted:

On a slightly less awful note: http://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/30ypmc/for_anyone_complaining_about_neville_losing_his/

The way people warp their brains trying to think like the presume Vince thinks is... I'm going to go with 'flabergasting.'

Also I love how this "argument," completely fails for Big E Langston.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 02:53

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Nystral posted:

Unless I'm counting wrong Big E Lang-Ston is four syllables and can easily be made into just Big E for an easy two syllable name

Yeah, but the guy's argument was that the 2 to 4 syllable range is the limit for good wrestling names, which is why Hulk Hogan got to keep his name instead of being just Hogan. Randy Savage is also four syllables and is an example he cites specifically as being within range. According to his theory, which lists Rusev, Cesaro and now Adrian Neville, literally every guy who's had one of his names taken away is 5 or more and that's the reason. He conveniently never once mentions Big E Langston, probably because he couldn't think of a totally bullshit excuse for it not fitting his pattern, (or even a non-excuse like an unspoken "exception that proves the rule" like he did Bruno and DiBiase.) I was also amused that he mentioned Bruno but left out Larry Zybyzko who also breaks his dumb theorem.

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 05:40

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Nystral posted:

When did Zybyzko work for the WWF?

He went into the Hall of Fame this year, doesn't that mean he wrestled for the company? At the same time Bruno did I'm guessing?

# ¿ Apr 1, 2015 06:41

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

I enjoyed the little section where the Meccafolk complained about Rovert. It was like home away from home except they whined about tweets instead of scoopz.

Also, holy poo poo on this post:

quote:

I just realized something, why the hell are the people saying Destination America are "upset" because TNA was in the UK and not in the US? Has it ever occured to them that WWE was just in the UK and they're in the same kind of network called "USA". I don't get journalists these days. They're just like Helga Pettacki from Hey Arnold with the journalist episode.....making poo poo up and writing what you think the sources said.

So, USA, which is "the same kind of Network," as DA, did not complain that WWE did shows in the UK, QED DA did not complain to TNA and Meltzer made the whole thing up. It's like the guy was writing an entry for a Most Fallacious Argument contest.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 08:10

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

flashy_mcflash posted:

WE JUST NEED to get people to watch a mere 7 minutes of Impact each week. Then you'll see. YOU'LL ALLLLLLL SEEEEE

So all that matters is that the show's ratings improve? And it matters so much that making a profit, putting on a quality product, paying your employees, and providing for the health and safety of your performers should take a backseat so they can focus exclusively on retaining viewers for the first seven minutes?

Is... is this guy secretly Eric Bischoff? He must be Eric Bischoff.

(Seriously though, how can an audience member care more about the Nielsen ratings of their favorite TV show to the level that they think it should only be good long enough to register on the box and beyond that quality doesn't matter? It's mind-bending.)

# ¿ May 16, 2015 01:26

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Chris James 2 posted:

NXT is Triple H's trojan horse for taking down WWE, and Corporate Kane is in the authority because that's step 237 in his 12 year plan to defeat the Undertaker. #ScoopzBrother.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2015 00:42

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

rovert posted:

Interestingly timed:

"People don't come here to discuss ratings," may be one of the biggest lies I've seen come out of that website and that's saying something.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2015 22:15

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

achillesforever6 posted:

Wow those grapes are sour as hell

something something thank your employer for the privileged of working something something millennials amirite?

# ¿ Jun 19, 2015 00:07

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

flashy_mcflash posted:

The layers of delusion that went this this smugpost are quite magical.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2015 22:32

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

MotU posted:

I would like it if everyone could do moves that are sometimes cool and sometimes basic but maybe their mannerisms and the way they carry themselves in the ring and the story they tell determines their apparent alignment? That's my stupid opinion, thanks. Bye.

This. I love when Kevin Owens refuses to do moves and takes his opponents on a trip to Chinlock City Bitch, but I love it because it's a fitting move for his character. Yes, it's objectively a heel tactic designed to get you to boo him, but I don't boo him because "Arg, I want cool moves," which is the traditional understanding off heel psychology. I boo him because his character is an rear end in a top hat and he makes me hate him, and excessive chinlocks are an extension of that persona and it's relationship to the audience just like rolling out of the ring constantly is. His corner cannonball is a "cool move," and it gets a ton of boos.

Compare Randy Orton. When he does the same sort of over-use of restholds as a heel, nobody enjoys it, it's go-away heat rather than proper heel work. I personally believe that's because that kind of thing doesn't fit Randy's "Viper," character. Moves where he goes from zero-to-60 in an instant, where he can spend a couple of seconds mocking the crowd, making faces, stalking his opponent in the background so the crowd can boo because they don't want to see him win before delivering a nasty shot, those are the moves that get him REAL heat when he's a heel, those are the extensions of his crazy ptsd snake man heel persona, not lazy rear end headlocks.

For a more historic example, look at Jake Roberts. The DDT was the most over move ever, the cheers it got were nuclear... unless Jake was a heel. Lance Storm might argue that's because the DDT is not a "cool move." Except if you see Jake do his spinny finger signal thing and watch 60,000 people lose their loving minds, you know that's not true. Jake's moves always matched his CHARACTER, and he changed the presentation of the character to match his alignment, whether it was bible verses or Trust Me, Trust Me. But at the end of the day he was still doing the DDT, and the reaction to it always matched what he was doing.

If someone is being a proper heel, they can do cool pop-creating moves all day and people will still despise them.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2015 08:51

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Beef Jerky Robot posted:

Tbh I would have put Owens/Cesaro earlier on the card too

I think it's more the swap it with Shaemus/Orton thing that's meant to be outrageous. How one can complain about a match being devoid of hype and then say it should have swapped card positions with Orton/Shaemus is bizarre.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2015 17:53

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

flashy_mcflash posted:

On an article about Kurt Angle's brother killing his wife:

Disintegrated her with an exploding energy ball?

# ¿ Sep 21, 2015 15:58

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

The idea that anyone could actually believe that WWE needs to follow TNA's twitter to learn their SEKRETZ is... amazing.

# ¿ Oct 8, 2015 14:46

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

I like how they signed Bram 5 times and then 12 new guys. Good to know that Bram is worth almost half as much as 12 men.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2015 10:30

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

RZApublican posted:

Bram is working an AJ Styles gimmick?!

If Bram starts coming out in a hooded leather jacket it would probably solve a lot of his problems.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2015 17:50

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

If wishing Roman would fail because he's been booked horribly and made a complete fool out of himself multiple times makes me a racist, fit me for my spooky ghost robes and give me Seth's Nazi Girlfriend's number.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2016 07:56

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

SONIC 3:16 SAYS I JUST WENT REAL FAST

If YOU'RE TOO SLOW, Gimmie a hell yeah!

# ¿ Jan 24, 2016 13:29

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

ShootaBoy posted:

Someone posted a while back about how WrestlingConfessions.tumblr has somehow become ShittyFantasyBooking.tumblr, and speaking as a lovely fantasy booker who posts my lovely fantasy booking all the time I have to say I agree.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2016 17:54

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Aesop Poprock posted:

That's an old horse. How do you know how old that horse is? How do you know this horse?

Aesop Poprock, when you have an old horse there's only two things you can do: either KILL IT... OR GET RID OF IT!

# ¿ Feb 8, 2016 04:28

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Revenant Threshold posted:

Nitpicking, but I never got how that was meant to work. Twin Magic is dumb but the ref is unaware, so at least it works. Brie pulling out tissue stuffed in her top is admitting they cheated.

Yeah, but nobody cared because Nikki did the greatest spot in the history of our sport and mockingly dried the salty tears of her defeated opponent with her sister boob ruse tissues.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2016 16:34

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Writer Cath posted:

He's saying 'ripe' 'cause Dolph stinks!

I think its Rupe because Dolph kind of looks like Link.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2016 14:08

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

AkumaHokoru posted:

... that last one was taking the piss out of blind TNA fanboys right? And the count guy doesn't realize it right? Its always hard to tell with Mecca.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 12:45

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

quote:

Will1225 -> The ROHbot � 9 hours ago

NXT is successful????

(Looks at the accounting balance sheets)

I don't think so. They spend more then they make and that's bad pal

- Vince MacMahon

quote:

NomDePlume -> Will1225 � 7 hours ago

Exactly.

It's all an illusion.

NomDePlume said this. Like, unironically.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 12:53

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Alain Post posted:

They're right. NXT is Hunter's vanity promotion that loses money.

The fact that NXT isn't a profit-generating entity in an imaginary vacuum where its not part of the highly profitable WWE isn't really what makes that post absurd, now is it?

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 13:00

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Of all the things with crazy TNA fans, this is the one I really don't get. Of COURSE the wrestlers on TNA were good! Yeah, some of them sucked. Hernandez comes to mind. But most of them were great and those that weren't were often in the mix with guys that were and could make them look good. Its THE SHOW that sucked. THE WRITING AND THE BOOKING. The wrestlers had nothing to do with it.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 16:59

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

checksin posted:

Man, what the hell is EC3 going to do when TNA finally goes? I can't imagine him going back to NXT with the rest of the Impact exodus, both because of how he was treated in developmental the first time and, uh, incompatibility with the performance enhancements he's clearly on. He's too old to be a Juice Robinson NJPW young lion, and I don't think he's got the reputation and experience to take the AJ Styles route as an expensive, steady indie hand. What's left, tagging in ICW with Rockstar Spud? Would Ring of Honor have any interest in him? He's a moron for putting all his eggs in Dixie's basket, but I'd still like to see him successful somewhere after the promotion finally dies.

Personally I'm really curious if Bobbo Lashley comes back to the Fed. That'd certainly be interesting.

The one I'm really sad for is Storm. Man did he blow it super hard. I hope his bridges didn't get burned entirely in that whole episode.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 17:55

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

In terms of "lacking moves that would do damage," in acrobatic sequences, you can easily justify it as attempts at intimidation and one-upsmanship, no different than pushups, flexing or trash talk spots, or it could be an attempt to feint/misdirect the opponent into a position for a more devastating move which didn't happen. Its up to the performers in the ring to convey what they were attempting to do after the sequence is complete and/or for the announce team to come up with an explanation.

In this case, they DID make clear what the point of the exchange was, in that they started the sequence with Rico unexpectedly landing on his feet and sending Will a visual challenge when he turned, and ended the sequence on a stare down. Doing damage wasn't the point of the exchange, it was a psychological tactic to get into the other guys head by showing he was the decisively superior flyer. They came out even so the staredown was a high-tension one with neither looking happy with the outcome, which I assume then transitioned the match to a more serious phase.

Its pretty easy to tell when dudes are doing flips for flips sake and when there's a reason for it IMHO.

# ¿ May 29, 2016 08:07

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

TL posted:

Not that anything could've saved the invasion at that point, but I'd sure as hell remember it a lot fonder if that was the blowoff to it. They had the perfect roster for it at the time.

To be fair, the Survivor Series Elimination Tag is a fantastic match and has one of the best hype videos WWE has ever made to set it up. War Games is War Games, but they did alright.

# ¿ May 31, 2016 01:42

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

flashy_mcflash posted:

Legit one of the worst things I've read on Mecca

... I literally don't think I've even been so perplexed by anything in my life. It's like his brain vomited onto his keyboard or something.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2016 02:20

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Great White Hope posted:

Cass is exactly the kind of talent goons would fall in love with and then pretend they never liked anything about him years later.

So Dolph Ziggler?

# ¿ Jul 9, 2016 02:30

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Even if you hate everything that happens in a ring, I find it hard to imagine why someone would see how AJ has been portrayed in WWE and find it boring. He's been surprisingly well protected and presented in a way that gives him a pretty unique character as this arrogant outsider out to get people who have offered him perceived slights. Nobody is going to say he's a great promo or anything, but as a "drama character," he's been as big a success as he has as wrestler since coming here.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 10:44

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

sticklefifer posted:

EC3 being forced to come back as Derrick Bateman would make me laugh a lot.

Derrick Bateman, Daniel Bryan's Best Friend was the greatest character ever, Smackdown would only be improved by his presence.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2016 12:49

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

ShootaBoy posted:

I had it pegged for a stupid opinion because if it was the Shield that got you back into watching, you'd say it was the Shield. You wouldn't specifically point out Reigns.

Well, if the thing that got you back into wrestling was the Royal Rumble that year Batista won it, then I suppose naming Roman specifically wouldn't be wrong.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2016 06:04

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

ShootaBoy posted:

drat, the sheer density of bad opinions in such a small number of words is impressive.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2017 07:41

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

RacistGuidingLight posted:

Yeah it usually takes you a thousand of them each time!

Turing a 45 second point into a 20 minute ramble makes WWE writers millions of dollars. I have a gift that I share with you all free of charge!

# ¿ Jan 31, 2017 13:33

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Dolph's cash-in on Del Rio, his win in the Cena v Authority feat Sting Survivor Series match and his career-on-the-line build/match with Miz are three of my favorite events in wrestling, full stop. I really think his biggest problem at least around here is that the Rusev feud but X-Pac heat on him for how offensively bad it was that has just never dissipated, but beyond that his promo style can be grating in the not-good-turn-the-tv-off kind of way, and it doesn't help that his character has been stuck in a god-awful rut and his credibility is somewhere down near Bray's. thanks to the years and years of stop-start booking.

The only things that could salvage him at this point are a lengthy break or someone for him to play off of in promos so his obnoxiousness returns to entertaining levels rather than stab-myself-in-the-ear levels. He was always at his best when he had a manager or other cohort to work with on the mic.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 07:22

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 10:49

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; ~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

TinTower posted:

Let�s see who Donald Trump�s new far right friends think.

Oh.

If New Jack was admitted to Britain as a refugee it wouldn't be that hard to find him before he committed any acts of terror, just find the camp where Natural Born Killers is constantly playing

# ¿ Nov 30, 2017 06:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

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