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Bloody Queef posted:This shouldn't get lost in dumb freeway chat. I wholeheartedly disagree. I've been in a relationship with my wife for 8 years, married for three and a half of them, and I'll be 30 next week, and we really prefer keeping our finances separate. In the beginning it was very much "if poo poo falls apart I want my money separate," and when we became a family we just stuck with it. We split up the utilities and we each pay half the mortgage, and whenever there's a big purchase we work out something so no one feels like they get hosed over. For example, when we got a new fence, we each paid for half, and this January my wife put $10,000 into home improvements (removing popcorn ceiling, recessed lighting throughout the house), and I threw an extra $10k onto the mortgage. It's worked out really well. We split everything mostly equally, but we keep our own accounts, which means when she goes out and spends gods knows what on shoes, she not touching "my money," and similarly when I go out and buy a bunch of stupid Warmachine pieces or a 3d printer I used for two months and forgot about, she doesn't sweat me either. Full disclosure: We're both tech workers in the Bay Area, and money has never been an issue for either of us. I totally understand that some families work better with pooled assets. Find what works for you, but don't combine your assets just because you think you're supposed to. Inverse Icarus fucked around with this message at 17:23 on Apr 11, 2014 |
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Apr 11, 2014 17:20
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| # ¿ May 9, 2024 22:56 |
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Bloody Queef posted:Are you both fully funding your own separate retirement accounts? I fund mine fully, she gives hers about 8% with no employer matching. I also have an ESPP plan I max out, and roll over into (mostly) dividend-focused index funds when it pays out every six months. Bloody Queef posted:Are you both saving enough beyond those limits since you live in a high cost area? Yes. We both make over $110k, and we have individual six-month emergency funds, which fully cover our half of the mortgage, utilities, and average expenses. We've also managed to do various home improvement projects and pay down sizable chunks of the mortgage every year since we bought the house in 2010, and owe less than half the value of the house. Bloody Queef posted:If your wife blows all her non bill money and you diligently save your whole life are you going to tell her to get hosed and eat cat food when you both retire? I have said this sentence to her, with dog food in place of cat food. Obviously that's hyperbole, and I won't let my wife (or future children) starve, but I also don't want to be retired at 45 and paying for her shoe hobby with the money I expect to last me for the rest of my life. We had some frank discussions about money, retirement, and what we want out of life and our careers. We're very different people, with very different views on money. She's a workaholic who starts twitching if she's on vacation can't check her work email. She's a big fish in her small company, and she enjoys managing people and getting things done. She continually gets promotions, and they're talking about opening a new office and having her run it. She's currently planning to work through the normal retirement age like her parents, her father still working as a lawyer at 82. I only work because I need to eat, and I'm very interested in FI/RE. I'm looking to get the house paid off and to break free of the rat race by establishing a stable passive income (through investments and a business I've started) within the next decade, before I get into my 40s. I'm getting way off topic here, but half the people are talking about highway nomenclature so whatever. I still believe you don't have to combine your income, even if you do combine your debt.
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Apr 11, 2014 18:50
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