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Fortis
Oct 21, 2009

feelin' fine
Names I have called my cat Stella:
- Smoosh
- Boof
- Smooshboof
- Smooshy Face
- Booboof
- Boofer
- Smush mush
- Kittenycat
- Boofis

Usually it goes something like:

What'chu doin', boof? What'chu want? Huh?
Did you know... that you are, in fact... a kittenycat? Because you are.
You are a boofy smoosh face floofer. You are my precious kitty girl. Smoooosh.

One time I did this without thinking while on a skype call and they asked me to please stop. Whoops!

Dove from Above posted:

I punch my cat in the face in super-slow motion and she rubs her cheek on my knuckles.

Same.

I will also alternate the floof boof foofydoof talk with talking to her in the plainest/rudest way possible, like asking "What the gently caress do you want?" when she meows or "I'm not giving you any more food, rear end in a top hat." but it usually devolves back into smoosh moosh boofer boof time

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Fortis
Oct 21, 2009

feelin' fine
Now I sing to my cat. I am beyond help:

Little bo-foof,
Little bo-foof,
Little bo-foof in the mor-ning!

(Sometimes it's just 'Little bo-foof' over and over.)

and this one, to the tune of 'Walking on the Moon':

Kitty cat is what you are,
Stella bella boo

I'm glad my girlfriend thinks it's cute because it's all pretty much automatic now.

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