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Uncle Wemus posted:Explain everything in The Prestige David Bowie is Nikola Tesla and also some other bullshit - in an odd turn of events, Wolverine is the one with the expensive gadgets while Batman has to rely on his natural talents.
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Jun 13, 2015 03:49
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In Jurassic World, man plays god and then it bites them in the rear end.
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Jun 14, 2015 00:45
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Machai posted:In Jurassic World, man plays god and then it bites them in the rear end. Woman inherits earth
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Jun 14, 2015 01:16
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In Clerks 3 we finally learn Kevin Smith stopped giving a poo poo after Chasing Amy.
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Jun 14, 2015 12:25
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At the end of I Still Know What You Did Last Summer the killer sneaks in through a window, hides under a bed and when Jennifer Love Hewitt least suspects it he reaches out and pulls her under the bed.
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Jun 14, 2015 12:27
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In Titanic the ship sinks
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Jun 23, 2015 07:20
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Hercules with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a big lie. He's just a really strong man with clever tactics while his incest lover follows him around and spreads wild tales
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Jul 29, 2015 06:50
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In the V/H/S series an anthology of horror stories are tied together poorly.
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Jul 29, 2015 10:27
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I still dont know how Immortal ends because the plot is retarded enough to drive me away from the screen every time. Egyptian gods are naked, have with animal heads and dont understand monopoly.
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Jul 29, 2015 11:33
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In contact the alien is Jodie Foster's dead dad
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Jul 29, 2015 16:37
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Yolomon Wayne posted:I still dont know how Immortal ends because the plot is retarded enough to drive me away from the screen every time. Egyptian gods are naked, have with animal heads and dont understand monopoly. Well at least you aren't missing anything. Spastic, nonsensical fukkin movie.
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Jul 29, 2015 18:14
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Despite the title, A Most Violent Year contains very little actual violence and the main character basically succeeds in his goal of growing his business without resorting to criminal tactics.
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Aug 5, 2015 19:04
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In Birdman (or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) There are barely any scenes of Birdman, although Michael Keaton and Edward Norton get into a fistfight with Norton only in his underwear. (Seriously though, actually go watch Birdman, it's awesome and rips all the superhero movies a new one.)
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Aug 5, 2015 21:18
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in the Fisher King 2 Oscar winning actors 1 cup
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Aug 5, 2015 21:23
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We are what we are they're cannibals and kill their dad to avoid continuing the tradition but then move away to carry on the tradition regardless.
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Dec 6, 2015 17:16
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Dark Harvest 2 aka The Maize Writer, director, actor, insane person Bill Cowell stomps around in a corn maze for two hours yelling in a stupid accent.
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Dec 6, 2015 17:36
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actually you should watch it
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Dec 6, 2015 17:37
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Ted 2 is an hour and a half long live-action Family Guy episode. Also, I agree Birdman was fairly amazing. It seemed to me to be a personal reflection of Michael Keaton's life and career as Batman in the late 80's/early 90's
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Dec 6, 2015 18:09
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Monty Python's Brazil ends with a bureaucrat in a 6 by 6 foot office who dreams about robots driving across a bridge with a woman in an eighteen wheeler. I don't know I turned it off halfway through. How could anybody sit through the whole thing and how the gently caress does this piece of poo poo movie have such high ratings?
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Dec 6, 2015 19:33
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EorayMel posted:Monty Python's Brazil ends with a bureaucrat in a 6 by 6 foot office who dreams about robots driving across a bridge with a woman in an eighteen wheeler. I don't know I turned it off halfway through. You watched the studio ending. Also, it's a Gilliam film.
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Dec 6, 2015 19:36
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Also, you suck.
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Dec 6, 2015 19:37
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EorayMel posted:Monty Python's Brazil ends with a bureaucrat in a 6 by 6 foot office who dreams about robots driving across a bridge with a woman in an eighteen wheeler. I don't know I turned it off halfway through. Watch it again after you hit puberty, you might get it then
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Dec 6, 2015 20:14
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In The Last Temptation, Jesus resists the temptation Also Judas is a good guy and he's played by Harvey Keitel with a heavy Brooklyn accent
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Dec 6, 2015 21:02
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im gaye posted:Dark Harvest 2 aka The Maize my friends and i used to rent lovely movies in college back when you could still rent movies and this is the only one i remember actually turning off out of sheer boredom 1 was good and iirc 3 was okay
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Dec 6, 2015 21:08
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In Mad Max: Fury Road a pregnant chick gets hit by a truck.
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Dec 6, 2015 21:25
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In Movie 43, a mom makes out with her homeschooled son as part of a collective parental effort to give him true public school experience. The vignette in which that happens is the funniest one in the entire movie. 
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Dec 6, 2015 23:22
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Star Trek, Jim Kirk saves the day then everyone stands up and claps. Star Trek Into Darkness Cracker Khan tries to save the day and fails so Spock beats him up and then Jim Kirk comes back to life. Everyone stands up and claps.
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Dec 7, 2015 00:34
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in fierce creatures and a fish called wanda jamie lee curtis ends up with john cleese because she apparently fuckin loves the pasty white dadbod fish called wanda is actually p good despite that tho
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Dec 7, 2015 03:15
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in Paycheck the reason the guy gets weird signs from the future is because he was wearing a contact lens that saw around the curve of the universe and forward in time in Hitch the lesson is that it doesn't matter if you're a fat awkward nerd, rich heiresses should still date you because you're *~*honest and genuine*~* at the end of Terminator Salvation you will literally not remember what happened in the movie, seriously the only thing i could tell you was that there were big robot droids and a desert and at the end of Beerfest they prepare to do the exact same thing, but with weed
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Dec 7, 2015 03:50
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Cellar Dweller A comic book artist lady draws a monster and it comes to life! It kills people until she realizes that she can destroy the picture of the monster with paint thinner. Then she draws the victims back into existence. But in a final, inexplicable bout of retardation she puts all her art in the fire because she is done with it and then her friends all burn alive.
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Dec 7, 2015 05:36
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lol are you serious? is that a thing I can go watch? that sounds hilarious and amazing
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Dec 7, 2015 06:05
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rejutka posted:Star Trek, Jim Kirk saves the day then everyone stands up and claps. In Star Trek Into Darkness The Wrath of Khan happens.
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Dec 7, 2015 06:29
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More fairly pissed off than wrathful.
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Dec 7, 2015 06:41
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Fantastic Four (2015) A power fantasy where the government literally gives them anything they want after their hijinks nearly destroy the whole of the world with zero repercussions or expectations. JediTalentAgent fucked around with this message at 07:06 on Dec 7, 2015 |
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Dec 7, 2015 07:03
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in World War Z it is revealed the zombies are actually just tons of close-ups of Brad Pitt's face
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Dec 7, 2015 07:27
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Ryoshi posted:lol are you serious? is that a thing I can go watch? that sounds hilarious and amazing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYdn7yP3gcQ go hog wild
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Dec 7, 2015 07:55
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detectivemonkey posted:In Star Trek Into Darkness a really lovely attempt to copy The Wrath of Khan happens.
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Dec 7, 2015 14:28
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detectivemonkey posted:In Star Trek Into Darkness The Wrath of Khan happens except with blatant 9/11 truther pandering hitting you over the head literally every scene.
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Dec 7, 2015 17:09
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Indubitable Leg posted:In Birdman (or The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) There are barely any scenes of Birdman, although Michael Keaton and Edward Norton get into a fistfight with Norton only in his underwear. the only thing birdman rips is 3 hours of your life for watching that piece of poo poo its smug nonsensical garbage that continuously rubs in your face how HARD it is to be an actor and how HARD hollywood is. even if it is ed norton and miachel keaton i don't care because they play completely unlikable characters (every character in this movie is unlikeable) and just pluck conflict out of midair like halfway through the movie that you're supposed to care about somehow. im not even touching on the fact that the argument of art vs commercialism is a horse so thoroughly beaten that it has decayed completely the jazz drum soundtrack and the swoopy cut-free camera are gimmicks that really serve no purpose to the movie and while they didn't gently caress it up completely it doesn't change the fact that they serve no purpose. they basically decided that they didn't need fundamental elements of film editing so they threw them out. Despite the movie being very clearly worse off for it (because of it's complete poo poo pacing and poor spatial awareness, the purpose that cuts serve) it's ~good~ because its ~different~. if you want to watch a movie done in one take watch Rope, because despite being 70 years old it does everything better than this piece of poo poo and doesn't use it's gimmicks as crutches. surprise, it's actually a good movie rather than a meandering 3 hour waste of time because it's goal was to tell a story rather than argue a position nobody cares about
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Dec 7, 2015 17:45
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nigga crab pollock posted:the only thing birdman rips is 3 hours of your life uh you could have wrote fart shorter + more fun to read
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Dec 7, 2015 21:09
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