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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

I Before E posted:



Monday Night Raw: Monday, Week 1, 2010

"We are no longer the Ripper and the Beautiful Nightmare. It is said that every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. Well, that temptation has come upon us. You now look upon the Pirates: Paul Burchill and the Lady Mary Killegrew Burchill!" C-


Good..good. Also holy poo poo that Sheamus promo.

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I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

WWE Superstars: Monday, Week 1, 2010

Announcing team: Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, and Byron Saxton

Live from Coca-Cola field in Buffalo, New York.

Dark Segment: Kofi Kingston cut a pre-taped promo about how he would beat Sheamus at the Royal Rumble.

"He thinks I'm just some upstart who he'll brush away like so many crumbs. Well, he's got a little surprise coming to him... his blue skies might just turn into Trouble In Paradise!" B+

Dark Match: David Hart Smith, Tyson Kidd and Edge defeated Mark Henry, MVP and Kung Fu Naki in 7:31 when Edge defeated Kung Fu Naki by pinfall after using a foreign object. B+

Dark Segment: R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, and Gail Kim parodied the late 2009 film The Road. I'll spare you the details. B

The show started when The Legacy defeated Goldust and Yoshi Tatsu in 13:07 when Cody Rhodes defeated Goldust by pinfall with a handful of tights. C+

A Raw Rebound package recapped the actions of Kofi Kingston, Sheamus, Randy Orton, John Cena, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels on this week's Raw. A+

Chris Masters defeated Tommy Dreamer in 8:01 by submission with a Master Lock. B-

A graphic hyped that The Undertaker will be appearing on The Highlight reel on this week's Smackdown. A+

Matt Hardy defeated Zack Ryder in 5:28 by pinfall with a Side Effect. C+, Matt Hardy was off his game tonight. C+

Video hyping this week's ECW on SciFi: "Christian may be safe now, but when Batista and William Regal are through with him, he may not make it to the Royal Rumble!" A

The Straight Edge Society defeated Cryme Tyme in 12:37 when CM Punk defeated Shad by pinfall with a Go To Sleep. B

B-, this show might have actually hurt our popularity overall.

NEWS:
TNA has fired Nick and Matt Jackson, Lacey Von Erich, Jesse Neal, Madison Rayne, Rob Terry, Shark Boy, Roxxi, Hamada, Cody Deaner, Kiyoshi, David Penzer, Bobby Lashley, Willie Urbina, Christy Hemme, Hermie Sadler, and Jamie Tucker.

Solomonic
Jan 3, 2008

INCIPIT SANTA

I Before E posted:

David Penzer

Mr. Russo, I feel like this is our chance to recreate the authentic WCW experience. Who needs Justin Roberts when we can have everyone announced as "HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"? Also he probably works cheaper.

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

Mr. Russo, I believe that hiring someone from the prestigious Von Erich family could help us rebuild our women's division, perhaps in a program with Natalya representing the Hart dynasty. I propose signing Lacey Von Erich.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012



ECW - Tuesday, Week 1, 2010

Live from Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada

Commentary team: Jim Ross and Matt Striker

Dark segment: Drew startled Finlay backstage before running away cackling in laughter. C+

Dark match: Kane, Undertaker, and The Hurricane beat The Dudebusters and Dolph Ziggler in 7:41 when The Hurricane defeated Caylen Croft by pinfall with an Eye of the Hurricane. B-

Dark segment: A video was shown of Sheamus confronting Kofi Kingston after Raw. Sheamus bragged about how Kofi was not on his level, a little wee man who would crumple at the impact of the Brogue Kick. A

Batista comes out to start the show.

"You know, I watch a lot of wrestling, with a lotta guys you might never have heard of, because they're not 'mainstream'. Guys like Kenta Kobashi, guys like El He-jo Day Santo, guys like... William Regal."

William Regal comes out and takes a little bow.

Batista continues, "I could come out here and challenge for the ECW title, but you know what? Unlike you mainstream losers, I respect hashtag retro, and William Regal here has convinced me to speak on his behalf. William Regal is a cut above all you PG losers! He's from a time where men were REAL, and blood wasn't a forbidden word! He's the only real EXTREME wrestler in this whole promotion!"

Regal begins to speak.

"Yes, Sunshine, I truly am the epitome of Extreme. Only a villain like me knows the days where hardcore was really hardcore, and when I take Christian's ECW title at the Royal Rumble-"

Tommy Dreamer's music hits.

"WILLIAM REGAL! If you're talking hardcore, if you're talking extreme, HELL, IF YOU'RE TALKING RETRO, I AM THE MOST SO! And tonight, I wanna prove that! Tonight, hardcore rules, you and me!"

A wry smile plays across Regal's face.

"Alright, little Tommy Dreamer, alright. Let a villain show you how evil he can be." B

The Hart Dynasty defeated Goldust and Yoshi Tatsu in 7:48 when Goldust was counted out while fighting David Hart Smith. C+

Pirate Paul Burchill laid out Jimmy Wang Yang in the ring and laid the black flag over his body, laughing a hearty pirate guffaw afterwards. B

Lady Mary Killigrew Burchill defeated Maria in 5:55 by pinfall, illegally using the ropes for leverage. B-, they have good chemistry.

Christian gives his peeps a quick 5 Second Pose. B+

William Regal defeated Tommy Dreamer in a hardcore match in 18:36 by pinfall following interference from Batista. B

B-, this show might have hurt our overall popularity.

Also, since Smackdown is also on Tuesday, I will run it before posting the next Board Meeting.

I Before E fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Apr 25, 2014

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008
Dying laughing at wrestling hipster Dave Batista.

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me
Sign the Young Bucks and call them up as HBK's kids

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
Push Cryme Tyme, it's their time.

To steal poo poo.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


I'm dying at Goldust getting counted out in a match he's not participating in.

Wiccan Wasteland
Oct 15, 2012

I Before E posted:

Batista comes out to start the show.

"You know, I watch a lot of wrestling, with a lotta guys you might never have heard of, because they're not 'mainstream'. Guys like Kenta Kobashi, guys like El He-jo Day Santo, guys like... William Regal."

William Regal comes out and takes a little bow.

Batista continues, "I could come out here and challenge for the ECW title, but you know what? Unlike you mainstream losers, I respect hashtag retro, and William Regal here has convinced me to speak on his behalf. William Regal is a cut above all you PG losers! He's from a time where men were REAL, and blood wasn't a forbidden word! He's the only real EXTREME wrestler in this whole promotion!"

Batista is the best

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012



Smackdown - Tuesday, Week 1, 2010

Live from Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada

Commentary team: Michael Cole and Matt Striker

Dark match: John Cena, Rey Mysterio, and Great Khali went to a draw with Legacy in 17:49 following a double count out. B+

We start the show with The Highlight Reel. Chris Jericho introduces his guests, Big Show silent behind him. Not only does he have The Undertaker, but he has Undertaker's brother and tag team partner, Kane!

Taker and Kane, the Brothers of Destruction, enter and sit down.

"So, Booger Red, how's the weather up there? What's it like to be so ugly even your eyes don't want to be seen dead with your face? And what's it gonna be like when I beat you at the Royal Rumble for that pretty little belt around your waist?"

Undertaker says nothing, but rolls his eyes back in his head, and slides his thumb across his own neck, as if he's slitting his throat.

"Ooooooh, so we're playing the no-selling game. Well, know this. I'm taking your title, and maybe, just maybe, I'm gonna do a little bit more. Maybe you'll never... EEEEEEEEVER... walk... agayn."

Undertaker and his brother bolt up at this, and try to attack Jericho, before Big Show steps in their way. A

Drew MacIntyre beat Finlay in 12:50 by pinfall with a handful of tights. C+

After the match, Drew MacIntyre cuts a promo. "The Chosen One is truly a cut above the rest. There is nobody here that can defeat me, so why bother to try?" C+

Beth Phoenix beat Rosa Mendes in 7:52 by pinfall with a Delayed Cradle Suplex. C+

Lady Mary Killigrew Burchill and Pirate Paul Burchill come out and taunt John Morrison.

"So, John Morrison, you call yourself the Shaman of Sexy? You think you're the hottest thing walking? Ha! Your rockstar duds might push some people's buttons, but I prefer rum, the lash, and a little something best not mentioned in mixed company!" C

Cryme Time beat the Dudebusters in 7:46 when JTG defeated Caylen Croft by pinfall with a Shout Out. C+

After their match, Shad and JTG celebrated in the ring. C+

Pirate Paul Burchill beat Slam Master J in 7:51 by pinfall with a handful of tights. C-, they have no chemistry.

Joey Styles hosts an interview with The Hurricane.

"Watch out! The Hurricane's gonna be making some waves!"

"Wouldn't that technically be a tsunami?"

Hurricane pauses, and ponders for a moment.

"Oh. Yeah." B-

CM Punk beat Goldust in 13:22 by pinfall with a Go To Sleep. B+

A short video was played hyping Kofi Kingston against Sheamus at the Royal Rumble. A

Jericho and The Big Show beat The Brothers Of Destruction in 18:02 when Chris Jericho defeated The Undertaker by pinfall with a handful of tights. A

After their match, Kane, Undertaker, Big Show, and Chris Jericho brawl to the back. A

B+, this show should have increased our popularity.

sunsweet
Nov 13, 2012

"Lana look," Rusev pointed out to the screen, "Pinkie Pie just scared Twilight Sparkle shitless! I love America and shit they put on TV!"
Mr. Russo, I suggest hiring Rob Terry as soon as humanly possible.

That Batista promo was uh something else. *****

PS. Fire Matt Striker.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

Board Of Directors Meeting 2 -

Question 1: TAG TEAMS

WWE's tag team division is sorely lacking. Please enter two superstars and a name for their prospective tag team.

Question 2: ROYAL FLUSH

Only one man can win the prestigious Royal Rumble, and who will it be in 2010?

Shawn Michaels, who would vow to retire on the grandest stage of them all, winning the WWE Title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

CM Punk, who would vow to return to the Straight Edge Society the WHC that the Undertaker took from him last year.

Jack Swagger, who would vow to teach those table-breaking hooligans in ECW what a real wrestler is.

VINCE RUSSO, EXECUTIVE PRESIDENT OF gently caress YOU posted:

NOW LEMME TELL YOUSE BOUT DIS STORY LINE I CAME UP WIT. NOW PAUL BIRCHILL, HE'S A PIRATE NOW, AN HE WINS DA ROYAL RUMBLE. HE DECIDES HE DON'T JUST WANT ONE TITLE, HE WANTS DEM ALL! SO HE CASHES IN HIS RUMBLE WIN AT DA ELIMINATION CHAMBER, CAUSE EVERY MARK THINKS "OH, THE ROYAL RUMBLE WINNA GOES TO MANIA TO HAVE HIS MATCH" AN WE'RE GONNA SWERVE DEM SONS A BITCHES BY HAVIN HIM CHALLENGE FOR ALL DA FUCKIN TITLES AT DA ELIMINATION CHAMBA IN A PIRATE'S PLUNDA MATCH! IT'LL HAVE A BUNCHA GIMMICKS AN poo poo, A BAG A GOLD DOUBLOONS DAT'S ACTUALLY GOT THUMBTACKS IN IT, ALL THAT poo poo, AN IT'S AN ELIMINATION MATCH AND THE GUY WHAT WINS GETS DA TITLES. NOW I DONNO HOW DOABLE ALL DIS poo poo IS, BUT WE'LL FLY BY DA SEAT OF DA NIGHT'S rear end OR WHADDEVER.

HHH, who would vow to defeat the man who laid his best friend low at Wrestlemania 25 and challenge The Streak at Wrestlemania

Question 3: Calling Shots

Now that we've cut off dead weight, we can call up somebody from FCW. Who should our first callup be?

Lance Cade
Bryan Danielson
Kaval
Curt Hawkins
Joe Hennig
Heath Slater
Justin Angel

Question 4: United States Of Whatever

The Miz is our current heel United States champion, representing Raw. Who should challenge for his belt at the Royal Rumble?

Nobody, that time could be better spent on the Rumble itself.
MVP
Mark Henry
Evan Bourne
Chris Masters

Question 5: Intercontinental Of Whatever

Drew MacIntyre is our current heel Intercontinental champion, representing Smackdown. Who should challenge for his belt at the Royal Rumble?

Nobody, that time could be better spent on the Rumble itself.
Dolph Ziggler
Tommy Dreamer
Hurricane
Kung Fu Naki

Question 6: Too Many Faces
Our main event scene has too heavy an emphasis on faces. Which of these wrestlers should turn heel in the coming weeks?

Kane
Matt Hardy
Rey Mysterio
HHH
HBK
Cena

Question 7: Totally Stopped Action
Who should we hire from the latest TNA firings?

Young Bucks
Bobby Lashley
Shark Boy
Kiyoshi
Rob Terry(that one's just because you said so, sunsweet)

Question 8: Matt Stricken
Should we fire Matt Striker? He's actually had a positive effect on Smackdown and ECW matches, but hey, I can't stop you guys.

Since tallying votes in posts is a pain in the nutsack, I've put together a Google Docs form.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rcERCBksOMsQTh87k-X0YmVO3cojQ0HQOlK4wrk4x7A/viewform?usp=send_form

One vote per person please, and voting ends midnight Central Time friday.

I Before E fucked around with this message at 03:44 on Apr 25, 2014

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008
Hahaha I was really sure that Smackdown was gonna also "hurt our popularity" with all those C ratings.

Also I say rename Matt Striker to Matt Strikeforce because he's a big Rick Martel and Tito Santana mark.

Do not even ask
Apr 8, 2008


Can we get a list of all our current tag teams and stables?

Edit: actually, I don't need it since I just came up with the best tag team idea ever Kronik 2.0: Evan Bourne & R-Truth

Do not even ask fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Apr 25, 2014

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

Do not even ask posted:

Can we get a list of all our current tag teams and stables?

Cryme Time(JTG and Shad)
DX(HHH and HBK)
Mark Henry and MVP
Straight Edge Society(CM Punk and Luke Gallows)
Old Dragons(Jamie Noble and Jimmy Wang Yang)
The Bella Twins
The Dudebusters(Trent Beretta and Caylen Croft)
The Hart Dynasty(Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith)
Legacy(Randy Orton, Ted Dibiase Jr., and Cody Rhodes)

E: Also, one of you motherfuckers' suggestions was so good I'm using that as their official team name. So thanks, motherfuckers.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
You're welcome :smug:

And holy cow, that Google Docs voting system was great.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

Writer Cath posted:

And holy cow, that Google Docs voting system was great.

Sure is, it gives me a pie chart so I don't have to loving copy all the responses into a google doc and use that to group the results BECAUSE OH MY GOD THAT poo poo IS ANTI-LIFE.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

I Before E posted:

Cryme Time(JTG and Shad)
DX(HHH and HBK)
Mark Henry and MVP
Straight Edge Society(CM Punk and Luke Gallows)
Old Dragons(Jamie Noble and Jimmy Wang Yang)
The Bella Twins
The Dudebusters(Trent Beretta and Caylen Croft)
The Hart Dynasty(Tyson Kidd and David Hart Smith)
Legacy(Randy Orton, Ted Dibiase Jr., and Cody Rhodes)

E: Also, one of you motherfuckers' suggestions was so good I'm using that as their official team name. So thanks, motherfuckers.
JeriShow isn't an official tag team yet? Well, that was an easy answer.

Abrasive Obelisk
May 2, 2013

I joined th
ROVPACK IN THE HOOUUUUSE!
:vince:
he still knows...

CapnAndy posted:

JeriShow isn't an official tag team yet? Well, that was an easy answer.

This is right between JeriShow and ShowMiz.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

The next Board Meeting, which will run after Raw and Superstars, will have a choice. This choice will be vague, but it will be important. Once the choice is made, it cannot be unmade. We will ride it until the end.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

That voting system is great!

To briefly sum up my votes for the benefit of the other board members:

1) HBK in the Rumble. Have Shaemus put one of our most beloved veterans down in an brutal retirement match and the Celtic Warrior will be our top heel for the next decade.

2) Our new tag team superstars gentlemen: Matt Hardy and Chris Jericho. Team Name? Version 2J! Naturally this means my other answer is Turn Matt Hardy. It's time for him to finally reach Version 2.

3) Bring up Bryan "The American Dragon," Danielson

4) US Title Match for Evan Bourne, push that jumpy little bastard to the moon

5) IC Title Match to Tommy Dreamer. For the love of god, The Chosen One dreams Broken Dreams. This poo poo writes itself.

6) Shark Boy owns

7) Keep Striker. If he's making matches better, I'm all for him.


Seriously, I know we all love Jerishow and Showmiz, but Version 2J is money baby. Matt Hardy is the best heel.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

At noon CST, I'll close the voting and run Raw and Superstars before putting up the new Board Meeting.

Q7kid
Jul 24, 2009
I'm curious to see what other tag teams were proposed. I went with the Slam Masters--witness Chris Masters's dancing pecs keeping time to Slam Master J's rhymes! Also, their names are similar! They'd be the equal of any team competing on a Superstars undercard.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012



Monday Night Raw - Monday, Week 2, January 2010
Live from the American Bank Center in Corpus Christi, Texas
Announce Team: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

Dark Match: Pirate Paul Burchill beat Great Khali in 7:54 by pinfall with a Black Flag. C+

Dark Segment: Christian is walking backstage when he is assaulted by Jimmy Wang Yang and Jamie Noble, who are wearing matching sequined pleather outfits bearing the name OLD DRAGONS. He is able to fight them off, and looks confused. Jimmy Wang Yang's heel turn was a success, and Christian was a star in this segment. C+

Old Dragons beat Goldust and Yoshi Tatsu in 4:56 when Yoshi Tatsu was counted out while fighting Jimmy Wang Yang. C+

Sheamus begins the show by bragging about his upcoming victory against Kofi Kingston. "He may jump around, an' do his hoigh floiyin moves, but fella, nobody's farst enough to escape tha Brogue Kick! Och, but I do pity him. Can't be the easiest ting in the warld to have yer first big loss a tha year be against tha Dobble Dobble Ay Champyen." B+

Jack Swagger beats Shark Boy in 7:51 by submission. C, Shark Boy and Swagger have no chemistry

Before his match, The Miz asks Joey Styles to come into the ring and interview him. "You know tonight, there's gonna be a triple threat for number one contendership for my US Title, and whoever wins it, whether it's MVP, Evan Bourne, or Chavo Guerrero, I'm going to be sleeping easy tonight. You know why? Because I am certain, I AM ROCK SOLID CERTAIN, that I will walk out of the Royal Rumble still the United States Champion, because I AM THE MIZ AND I! AM! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWEEESSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOMMMMME!" B-

The Miz beats Mark Henry in 10:29 by pinfall with a Skull Crushing Finale. C+

Backstage, Matt Striker interviews Legacy. "Matt, we're coming up on this year's Royal Rumble, and I'd just like to remind all of you at home that I won the 2009 Royal Rumble. And not only did I win last year, I aim to give a repeat performance this year, because, Matt, my father was a legend. My grandfather was a legend. These two young men next to me? Their fathers were legends. We are wrestling ROYALTY! We come from the most prestigious bloodlines in the business, and with 3 generations of wrestling prowess behind us, the Legacy will never fall!" B, Matt Striker looked dreadful in this segment.

John Cena and DX beats Vladimir Kozlov and the Dudebusters in 12:54 when Triple H defeated Trent Beretta by pinfall with a Pedigree. B

We cut backstage, where Abraham Washington is about to interview William Regal.

"Last week on ECW, it seems like you and Batista made a sort of unlikely friendship."

"Yes, yes, Mister Washington, though I'd call it more of a mentorship than anything. You see, Mister Batista, as flamboyant as his style of dress may be, respects tradition. He respects his elders. He respects... 'hash tag retro', I believe he called it. I'm honestly not sure, I'm not one for the modern lingo. He respects the art of villainy, of cruelty, of inflicting pain simply because you can... and because it's fun. I do look forward to continuing our partnership as I chase the ECW title, Tuesdays at 8 or so on the Speculative Fiction network. I assume that's the plug you were about to ask for, was it? Anyway, Mister Carter or whatever it is, I have places to go and people to beat, so toodle-oo." B, Abraham Washington was very underwhelming.

Evan Bourne beat MVP and Chavo Guerrero to gain number one contendership for the US title in 11:42 when Evan Bourne defeated MVP by pinfall with an Air Bourne. B-

Joey Styles and Abraham Washington hyped a sermon from the Straight Edge Savior, CM Punk, on this week's Smackdown. B-

Maryse beat Melina in a non title match in 7:20 by count out. B-

Backstage, Byron Saxton announced that Batista will appear on this week's Peep Show on ECW. B, Byron Saxton looked dreadful.

Sheamus beat Tommy Dreamer in 12:57 by pinfall by using underhanded tactics. B+

After Sheamus wins, he begins to beat Tommy down further, but Kofi runs out to make the save! As Sheamus backs up the ramp scowling, Kofi helps Dreamer up as Raw goes off the air. B, Dreamer looked dreadful.

B, The Dudebusters were slightly overused, and this show might have hurt our overall popularity.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


I Before E posted:

He respects his elders.

A+ segment

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

WWE Superstars - Monday, Week 2, January 2010
Taped from the American Bank Center in Corpus Christi, Texas
Announce Team: Vince McMahon, Matt Striker, and Todd Grisham

Dark match: Jack Swagger and #Villains(William Regal and Batista) beat Chris Masters, R-Truth, and Kung Fu Naki in 12:46 when William Regal defeated R-Truth by pinfall with a Knee Trembler. B+

Dark segment: a video was replayed recapping the end of Raw B-

The Legacy beat Mark Henry and MVP in 12:41 when Cody Rhodes defeated MVP by pinfall with a Cross Rhodes.

Rey Mysterio advertised the Royal Rumble. "I've already won once, and I might just win again. Remember, big surprises come in small packages." A

Pirate Paul Burchill beat Shark Boy in 7:43 by pinfall with a Black Flag. C+, Shark Boy was off his game.

A Raw Rebound segment showed highlights from this week's Raw. B, Sheamus came across well.

Michelle McCool beat Brie Bella in 3:48 by pinfall with a Faith Breaker. B, Michelle and Brie have great chemistry.

Shawn Michaels advertised the Royal Rumble. "All things must come to an end, and I want to go out on top. I will win the Royal Rumble, and end my career on the grandest stage by winnning the WWE Championship at WRESTLEMANIA! The face may be a little wrinkled, and the boyhood dream has already come true, but if I can go out strong, with the best performance of my career, it'll be the greatest parting gift a man could ask for." A+

Christian beat Carlito in 17:46 by pinfall with a Frog Splash. A

B-, the crowd expected more angles and interviews. This might have hurt our popularity overall.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

WWE Board Of Directors - Meeting 3

Question 1: THE SWERVE


VINCE RUSSO, EXECUTIVE PRESIDENT OF gently caress YOU posted:

Alright, I gotta guy dat's hooked me up wit a... a secret plan a sorts, dat'd let us pull off a story no promotion's eva done before. It's wild, it's crazy, it's a bordaline abomination. Just trust me on dis.

Oh, and once we start on dis, we ain't stoppin. We ain't goin' back.

Question 2: Not Quite Ready To Rumble

Due to a tie, we must vote again on who should win the Royal Rumble in 2010.

Paul Burchill - would try to challenge for all the titles in a Pirate's Plunder match.

Shawn Michaels - would try to win the WWE title in the main event of Wrestlemania as a final match to cap off his career.

Question 3: Straight Edge Selection

On this week's Smackdown, a third member of the Straight Edge Society will be inducted. Who will it be?

Vance Archer
Ezekiel Jackson
Chavo Guerrero
Chris Masters
Other - you enter a suggestion.

Question 4: Indy 500

With the recent cutting of dead weight, we can hire at least one independent worker. Who will it be?

Colt Cabana
Paul London
Brian Kendrick
El Generico
Shannon Moore
None Of The Above

Question 5: Will Work For Food

With the recent cutting of dead weight, we can hire one currently unemployed former superstar. Who will it be?

RVD
Booker T
Billy Gunn
None of the above

Question 6: The Name Game

Creative has gotten back to us, and they don't believe Bryan Danielson is a catchy enough name to move merchandise. Please suggest a new name or nickname for him.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1CiW3GnfMGQNQvETChiTSV-31up-2Na6KV2IeMaLPJ5A/viewform?usp=send_form

Voting will end midnight CST Saturday

UPDATES
Shark Boy, Bryan Danielson, Heath Slater, and the Young Bucks have been hired. All except Shark Boy will be available within the coming week, while Shark Boy is available now.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
Can we just name him Daniel Bryan, since anything else would be loving confusing?

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

CapnAndy posted:

Can we just name him Daniel Bryan, since anything else would be loving confusing?

If you suggest that, it'll probably be my choice, unless someone suggests something much better.

CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

I Before E posted:

If you suggest that, it'll probably be my choice, unless someone suggests something much better.
I already did.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


I just suggested something much better. :colbert:

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Braced for maximum :russo: SWERVE BABY SWERVE!

Also, if ya'll vote for anyone other than Booker T we are enemies for life :colbert:

ThePariah
Feb 10, 2014
I know a name better than Daniel Bryan, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who suggested it.

sunsweet
Nov 13, 2012

"Lana look," Rusev pointed out to the screen, "Pinkie Pie just scared Twilight Sparkle shitless! I love America and shit they put on TV!"
How could anyone refuse a swerve from Vince Russo?!

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008
Come on Bootylicious Bryan!!!

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

There are 25 votes in, and pretty much every poll winner has a commanding lead, so I'm closing the voting, running ECW and Smackdown, and setting up the next Board Meeting.

Also, whoever put like 10 thousand words of Vince Russo fanfic in there, you can go gently caress yourself.

I Before E fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Apr 26, 2014

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

I Before E posted:


Also, whoever put like 10 thousand words of Vince Russo fanfic in there, you can go gently caress yourself.

let's be honest you bring this on yourself

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Wiccan Wasteland
Oct 15, 2012
gently caress I missed out on the vote. I hope we get Daniel Bryan Danielson

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