May 2014 Air Force Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > May 2014 Air Force Thread

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

The greatest thing about the military is that some website only work on government computers and some only work on non government computers. I didn't realize there was such a huge difference. Then you get into the problem where air force people working on army bases can't do air force stuff because air force websites are blocked.

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# ? May 5, 2014 01:51

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# ? May 19, 2024 02:57

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Cojawfee posted:

The greatest thing about the military is that some website only work on government computers and some only work on non government computers. I didn't realize there was such a huge difference. Then you get into the problem where air force people working on army bases can't do air force stuff because air force websites are blocked.

My favorite is websites blocked under the category "military".

PS

# ? May 5, 2014 01:53

KirbyKhan: Mar 20, 2009; Soiled Meat

If only we could snipe this thread.

# ? May 5, 2014 22:55

xaarman: Mar 12, 2003; IRONKNUCKLE PERMABANNED! READ HERE

http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/03/afcent-band/

lol

# ? May 6, 2014 04:04

Prop Wash: Jun 12, 2010

They clearly fall into the "information superiority" core competency considering whenever I see an article about cutting one of our million worthless bands there's inevitably some band idiot in the comments within minutes. If only our PA guys could respond so quickly.

# ? May 6, 2014 04:23

nullscan: May 28, 2004; TO BE A BOSS YOU MUST HAVE HONOR! HONOR AND A PENIS!

Today one of the Airmen left his wallet behind in the office. As we're in the middle of an exercise I said I'd drop it off on the way home from work so he wouldn't have to MOPP up just to come back in. His co-airman decided to make the occasion a memorable one. This is what I got when I was going to drop off his wallet...

:nws:

Gentlemen. I beleive I have found our new Dongo Penicaso.

It's days like these where I have a shred of hope for the future of our Air Corpse.

# ? May 6, 2014 10:32

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

I assume you immediately called MEO.

# ? May 6, 2014 12:24

dscruffy1: Nov 22, 2007; Look out!; Nap Ghost

nullscan posted:

Today one of the Airmen left his wallet behind in the office. As we're in the middle of an exercise I said I'd drop it off on the way home from work so he wouldn't have to MOPP up just to come back in. His co-airman decided to make the occasion a memorable one. This is what I got when I was going to drop off his wallet...

[snip]

Gentlemen. I beleive I have found our new Dongo Penicaso.

It's days like these where I have a shred of hope for the future of our Air Corpse.

Holy gently caress why did I go to netman your shop is better.

# ? May 6, 2014 14:24

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

nullscan posted:

Gentlemen. I beleive I have found our new Dongo Penicaso.

It's days like these where I have a shred of hope for the future of our Air Corpse.

We should make patches that look like that.

# ? May 6, 2014 17:29

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The fencing one is loving beautiful.

# ? May 7, 2014 04:46

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

My oft absent coworker didn't show up for work again. Flip a coin to guess whether the consequences will be extreme or insignificant.

# ? May 7, 2014 07:09

Wild T: Dec 15, 2008; The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

Just got my overseas list, looks like I've got to leave Germany. Probably gonna have to bite the pillow and go to Korea if I want to stay overseas. There's a chance for Honduras but I'm not holding my breath on that one.

# ? May 8, 2014 03:48

Cenen: Apr 7, 2011

I wish I had gotten a picture but it would have been creepy and I was trying to hard not to laugh anyway. Basically watched some Airman who looked like she was 13 ride a baby blue fixie onto base with a bright pink helmet. I can kind of see where there other branches are coming from now.

# ? May 8, 2014 07:47

HellishWhiskers: Mar 29, 2012; She was an awkward girl

Are women in the Air Force called "Airmen"?

Insert Chelsea Manning joke here

# ? May 8, 2014 08:57

Wild T: Dec 15, 2008; The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

HellishWhiskers posted:

Are women in the Air Force called "Airmen"?

Insert Chelsea Manning joke here

The proper term of address is 'Victim.'

# ? May 8, 2014 10:46

Cenen: Apr 7, 2011

I remember when I'd only been in about a year and had already heard about a few people I knew being involved on both sides of sexual assault and harassment issues but I kept thinking this has got to be some outlier poo poo. Things will definitely get better when I get out of tech school.

I got out of tech school and the poo poo I've heard of only got worse and far more frequent.

Best one had to be one of my buddies who got fingered by an officer from my flight and the whole super awkward shebangle that turned into.

# ? May 8, 2014 11:06

Wild T: Dec 15, 2008; The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

It might be just my narrowminded misogynist worldview but 'buddy' implies male to me. Did your friend get gay buttfingered?

# ? May 8, 2014 18:27

Cenen: Apr 7, 2011

Oh worse than that he woke up naked with a field grade officer on top of him who also may have been naked but who had definitely been fondling his sack and poking at the ol' brown eye. I knew of the event and had to deal with some of the fall out but I didn't actually know it was him until a few weeks ago since even though this happened late 2012 or early 2013 people are still getting called by OSI about it and my old roommate who was really close friends whith the guy let it slip it was our mutual friend.

It really was a hosed up situation since it was an officer from our flight we figured out pretty quickly who had been doing the assaulting and since the whole event was so weird and gross word spread fast and watching that dude show up to work and leadership dealing with the allegations was super hosed up to watch.

# ? May 9, 2014 04:01

Sax Offender: Sep 9, 2007; College Slice

Bravo to whichever disenchanted pilot made that edit.

# ? May 9, 2014 04:58

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

I like that it says they can switch to commercial airlines to get flight hours on more modern aircraft. Especially when whenever I fly somewhere, my plane is a 737 from the 70s.

# ? May 9, 2014 05:01

xaarman: Mar 12, 2003; IRONKNUCKLE PERMABANNED! READ HERE

Yes.

My airplane was from the 50s. 70s would be an upgrade.

edit: now fly one of the AFs newest airplanes, built in the 80s.

# ? May 9, 2014 16:04

Rythe: Jan 21, 2011

So they just gave a baby LT 30 days confinement and kicked out of the AF, for exposing himself to a bunch of students at the local college.

# ? May 9, 2014 18:29

HellishWhiskers: Mar 29, 2012; She was an awkward girl

I asked one of my military friends whether I'll walk away from the military a functional alcoholic and he laughed at the word "functional". It was like GiP advice irl.

# ? May 9, 2014 18:34

iyaayas01: Feb 19, 2010; Perry'd

Rythe posted:

So they just gave a baby LT 30 days confinement and kicked out of the AF, for exposing himself to a bunch of students at the local college.

ENJJPT student, mx officer student, or permanent party?

# ? May 9, 2014 18:51

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Derek Dominoe posted:

Bravo to whichever disenchanted pilot made that edit.

loving aces. :golfclap:

# ? May 9, 2014 20:14

xaarman: Mar 12, 2003; IRONKNUCKLE PERMABANNED! READ HERE

I think one of the worst arguments they tell pilots is "you joined to be an officer! The flying is secondary!"

Hahahahaha!

Because air shows are there to tote around the monotony of office work and sending out emails on being the Disability Awareness Month POC.

# ? May 9, 2014 20:23

Rekinom: Jan 26, 2006; ~ shady midair gas hustler ~

~ good hair ~

~ colt 45 ~

I joined to be a shitbag and collect government checks for hardly any work. Unlike welfare, this path ironically makes me "one of the good ones" to conservatives. I need to find a way to parlay this sentiment into more money. I could legit be a Republican senator from the South if i wanted to.

Too bad I'm such a lazy shitbag.

# ? May 10, 2014 01:30

Hotel Kpro: Feb 24, 2011; owls don't go to school; Dinosaur Gum

I'm beginning to think it was a mistake not hopping on the VSP train. Not that I was planning on re-enlisting, but holy gently caress things are starting to suck. Maybe I need to care less.

# ? May 10, 2014 05:04

OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH: Sep 9, 2001

Rekinom posted:

I joined to be a shitbag and collect government checks for hardly any work. Unlike welfare, this path ironically makes me "one of the good ones" to conservatives. I need to find a way to parlay this sentiment into more money. I could legit be a Republican senator from the South if i wanted to.

Too bad I'm such a lazy shitbag.

You've shown a great deal of adaptation and tool usage for your race. Just as all of our distant ancestors once learned to walk upright and become blacks because the trees in Africa thinned, this particularly less evolved specimen of homo sapien has defied his phrenological destiny and as he watched the thinning of the acceptance if the white man as he became a black man he adapted to walk with his pants upright and speak the language of the superior specimens and walk amongst them.

Remarkable. You are the Rosa Parks of KC-135 pilots in PACAF. That's better than being PACOM's Emmit Till, so take the compliment, boy.

# ? May 10, 2014 05:11

xaarman: Mar 12, 2003; IRONKNUCKLE PERMABANNED! READ HERE

^wtf?!

# ? May 10, 2014 05:35

quantumfoam: Dec 25, 2003

Obama Africanus posted:

You've shown a great deal of adaptation and tool usage for your race. Just as all of our distant ancestors once learned to walk upright and become blacks because the trees in Africa thinned, this particularly less evolved specimen of homo sapien has defied his phrenological destiny and as he watched the thinning of the acceptance if the white man as he became a black man he adapted to walk with his pants upright and speak the language of the superior specimens and walk amongst them.

Remarkable. You are the Rosa Parks of KC-135 pilots in PACAF. That's better than being PACOM's Emmit Till, so take the compliment, boy.

Shim over-adapted to Tennessee.

# ? May 10, 2014 05:41

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

A Kpro posted:

I'm beginning to think it was a mistake not hopping on the VSP train. Not that I was planning on re-enlisting, but holy gently caress things are starting to suck. Maybe I need to care less.

Everyone I know that actually wants out is getting denied anyway.

# ? May 10, 2014 13:13

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Cojawfee posted:

Everyone I know that actually wants out is getting denied anyway.

Yeah, pretty sure that's career field specific. Everyone in my AFSC who wants out is getting approved, and we're a small AFSC to begin with.

# ? May 10, 2014 15:06

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Cojawfee posted:

Everyone I know that actually wants out is getting denied anyway.

And word is spreading that they came up short on vol-outs. :laffo:

GG, Air Force. AGAIN.

# ? May 10, 2014 15:52

CaptainStag: Sep 29, 2004; Good acting is a practiced craft, one that suggests subtlety and nuance.

My career field went from giving E-4's 50K+ bonuses to non-voluntarily discharging them in the span of about a year.

Because money is tight, you see.

# ? May 11, 2014 13:04

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

So there's been some hurt feelings about the personal cargo restrictions on an upcoming deployment. This was made worse when they found out the lady from contracting was allowed space to bring 4 cases of Diet Coke for herself because she doesn't like the taste of the pop where they're going.

# ? May 11, 2014 16:38

iyaayas01: Feb 19, 2010; Perry'd

So I'm assuming this is the incident that Rythe was talking about.

Ban AF PT shorts!

# ? May 11, 2014 18:06

Helldump Immunity.: Aug 2, 2013; Fuck you

Rekinom posted:

I joined to be a shitbag and collect government checks for hardly any work.

# ? May 11, 2014 18:37

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

This is just precious.

Air Force Times posted:

Former members of Tops in Blue, the Air Force�s traveling musical performance troupe, are disputing criticisms that the program is wasteful and unappreciated by many airmen.

In interviews with Air Force Times, members of the 2011 Tops in Blue tour said that while some airmen may not like the show, they often saw hundreds or sometimes thousands of airmen and families turn out for performances � enough to pack nine out of 10 concerts and to show Tops in Blue still has a strong following.

�There�s a reason we do multiple shows at Kadena [Air Base in Japan] and the Air Force Academy, because they want to come see it,� said Tech. Sgt. Doug Boren, a vocalist on Tops in Blue�s 2011 tour. �The Air Force Academy cadet crowd is the rowdiest, most energetic crowd I�ve been in front of. This is the future of the Air Force, and they�re having the time of their lives.�

Boren also disagreed with critics� assertions in May 5 articles in Air Force Times that airmen are sometimes ordered to attend Tops in Blue shows.

�They�re completely voluntary,� Boren said. �I can name multiple venues where people have been turned away because they can�t get in. We get to a building, and there�s a line of 500 or 600 people lined up, and the doors aren�t even opened yet. These are active-duty airmen coming to shows; they aren�t ordered to come. If they are [ordered], their commanders are wrong, and I will tell commanders they are wrong to tell people to go to the show. But I never heard that once.�

Air Force Times made multiple requests for interviews with Tops in Blue officials and members before publishing the May 5 articles, and those requests were denied. The articles quoted former Tops in Blue members who described grueling schedules, unfair treatment and excessive costume and instrument purchases. Boren contacted Air Force Times to offer a rebuttal, and passed along contact information for other former members.

The articles drew dozens more comments from airmen who thought the shows should be canceled. They cited Tops in Blue as an example of perceived misplaced priorities as the Air Force reduces its force, retires planes and scales back on base services.

�Entertaining the few troops and dependents that attend the shows of their own free will, as well as nursing homes and hospitals, does not justify the $1.4 million budget, let alone the estimated $1.2 million in base pay and unknown man hours lost to airmen not working at their primary duty,� reader Mike Gomez wrote online. �And for the Air Force to make an official statement that �Tops in Blue represents an outstanding value to the Air Force� just goes to show how out of touch leadership is with their troops.�

�This is one of the simplest decisions you�ll ever have, Air Force,� reader Jamey Haigh wrote. �If you can�t eliminate something as unnecessary and wasteful as TIB, then you�ll have little credibility when cutting other programs that actually contribute to the purpose you have for being created and continuing to exist.�

But Boren said that while Tops in Blue may not be enjoyed by everybody, that doesn�t mean it should be scrapped.

�I don�t use the bowling alley, [or] the golf course, but that doesn�t mean it doesn�t have value,� Boren said. �That doesn�t mean we need to get rid of it. It just means I don�t use it.�

And the prior Tops in Blue members say many benefits of the program can�t be quantified

�You can�t measure the smiles and thank yous you get,� said Senior Airman Max Hulett, the drummer and bandleader on the 2011 tour. He also was on the abbreviated 2013 holiday tour.

Hulett recalled a show Tops in Blue played for troops stationed in the United Arab Emirates a day or two before Christmas that year. After the show, Hulett said, a tech sergeant asked the Tops in Blue member playing Santa Claus if he would videochat with her and her son, so her son would know that his mom was OK and met Santa.

�The smile that came across her son�s face, and the tech sergeant�s face,� Hulett said. �There are countless stories like that. The true happiness it does bring people, whether they�re military or civilian.�

But during tough budget times, eliminating Tops in Blue often comes up as a suggestion for saving money. Hulett said he tries to take criticism of the program with a grain of salt.

�It seems the people with the most negative things to say have never seen Tops in Blue, or if they went, they had a preconceived notion that it�s a waste of time and resources,� Hulett said. �It�s unfortunate to see so much negativity out there aimed at a program that the objective is to make people happy and bring smiles to their faces. It seems like there�s a lot of hate out there, that�s not very well founded. Not very well researched, anyway.�

Hulett and Boren said band members, while on tour, don�t receive the usual per diem that airmen on temporary duty receive. Boren said they receive an extra $8 a day, or $112 paid out every two weeks.

�It�s not like people are making an insane amount of per diem each day,� Hulett said.

The prior members also said being part of Tops in Blue was a terrific experience that had a major effect on their lives.

Former Staff Sgt. Tommie Crutcher, a vocalist on the 2008 and 2011 tours, said he was having difficulty adjusting to the Air Force before discovering Tops in Blue.

�When I was in basic, I was still lost,� Crutcher said. �I didn�t think I could handle it. I needed some sign. Then one day, they made me go to �mandatory fun� � that was a 2006 Tops in Blue show. This rejuvenated me and made me go, �OK, maybe I can do this.� �

He tried out and made the team, and said being part of it forced him to grow up and figure out how he could be a better airman.

�As we traveled, it wasn�t just us going around singing for people,� Crutcher said. �We were giving people hope.�

And Boren said Tops in Blue tries to comfort wounded warriors at hospitals such as Landstuhl in Germany, and pay their respects to fallen troops. During July 2011, the team boarded a C-17 in Afghanistan that was also carrying a draped casket carrying Army Sgt. Lex Lewis. After the plane arrived in Kuwait, Tops in Blue sang �Irish Blessing� in tribute, at the chaplain�s request, then saluted as the remains were transported from the aircraft.

�Tops in Blue is serving those who even passed away in combat,� Boren said. �We�re reaching out and touching every branch of the service, making a difference.�

# ? May 12, 2014 06:57

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# ? May 19, 2024 02:57

Rekinom: Jan 26, 2006; ~ shady midair gas hustler ~

~ good hair ~

~ colt 45 ~

i personally know the guy they interviewed. i'll just say that any general that decides to ground an F-16 squadron and keep tops and blue around should probably be fired

Rekinom fucked around with this message at 10:45 on May 12, 2014

# ? May 12, 2014 09:24

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