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It was written by a goon, if I remember correctly.
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May 14, 2014 11:13
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York_M_Chan posted:Sorry if this is a repost but haven't seen in yet You do realize that these stories are rarely meant to be taken as fact, and are just lovely parables, right? The ones that aren't obvious satire, that is.
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May 20, 2014 22:51
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Maxwell Lord posted:I think my favorite part is that her doing female-dominant male humiliation porn is supposed to be further evidence for her being a horrible bitch, like that's not something many male customers actively seek out and consume. It's like he thinks those things are documentaries, and the dominatrices roam the streets seeking innocent men to demean- You joke, but I met a dominatrix once (not as a client) who said that she once had a client who was into various sorts of public humiliation, and some random stranger on the street called her a bitch and told the guy he "didn't have to let her treat him like that". Lady, he pays top dollar for her to treat him like that.
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May 23, 2014 04:06
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A beer nerd this deep into the rabbit hole should know: Smithwick's is an ale, not a lager. [/quote] Wouldn't even have to be a beer nerd as long as they could read. It says "Irish Ale" on the loving bottle. And I've never met a beer nerd who'd describe a beer as "fairly basic" unless it was boring poo poo.
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Jun 18, 2014 16:37
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As we all know, wolves routinely hang out in cemeteries because real life works like an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
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Jun 28, 2014 02:20
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Farmland Park posted:Dear Mrs. Woolf, I say, I say, that's a joke, son. Flew right by ya.
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Jun 30, 2014 11:37
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HOOLY BOOLY posted:I like how the second kid suddenly turned British near the end. "We be tellin' the truth" is pretty obviously a hamfisted attempt to mimic Black English. See, they didn't say the bullies were black, so you can't accuse them of being racist. I can totally buy that somebody called their brony classmate a gross manchild, though.
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Jul 6, 2014 21:44
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jodai posted:Oh, Humper Monkey. Based on the writing, I'd believe they were the same guy. Who was the guy with the horrible hotel stories? I seem to remember him having a similar style too. Actually, now that I think about it, Acts of Gord that was posted earlier looks similar, too. Maybe it's just they're all similar forums and so the writer is trying to cater to the same types of reader so it all sounds the same. There was JoeyVapes, as mentioned, but I believe you're thinking of angry bee dance. GBS was lining up to lavish praise on him for his obviously made up bullshit like the time he supposedly made a dude poo poo himself.
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Jul 8, 2014 15:04
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Yeah, no way in hell that ends with anything less than a pissed off thief taking a sledgehammer to that car. Assuming, of course, that it actually happened, which it didn't.
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Jul 15, 2014 17:49
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Imaduck posted:Why you should never drunk text a doctor who fan. The best part is the copious typos somehow missed by autocorrect and also it's pretty obvious this person has never met a drunk person in their life.
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Aug 7, 2014 18:06
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OptimusShr posted:I've been working retail for four years ( Or they go and just ask somebody else who will give them the same loving answer (or better yet, ask you, because it's your department, not theirs, and get the same loving answer).
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Aug 14, 2014 01:07
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) and this poo poo rarely happens. 90% of the time if you give them the answer they don't want to hear they ask for a manager or supervisor.
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Thermos H Christ posted:http://alicia-prague-blog.com/2013/09/08/why-i-hate-football-season/#comment-4772 I can definitely believe that a 300lb bodybuilder has rage problems.
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Aug 14, 2014 15:31
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I think the real crime here is somebody named their kid Emileigh.
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Aug 21, 2014 02:49
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Captain Bravo posted:"I'm sorry for your loss, but we must-" How does this even get said? How does a person manage to express condolences over a loss and then request to speak with the deceased? How can you go through life being that loving stupid?
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Aug 21, 2014 13:09
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She writes like she's only ever heard second-hand descriptions of human  and has no idea how people talk.
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Sep 1, 2014 10:46
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Khazar-khum posted:Go fish.  I work part-time in a supermarket bakery that closes an hour before the store does on weeknights. No customer who has ever asked me when we close and gotten that answer has ever raised a stink. I will grant that customers can and will act like entitled shitheads from time to time, far more often than I would like, but the vast majority of people I've encountered are completely fine with the concept of individual departments closing before the whole store.
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Sep 1, 2014 11:19
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I was all set to say that nobody who is nasty to customers lasts long in retail but I had a coworker with a nasty streak a mile wide who was there for years before she quit in a huff over being spoken to by the store manager for doing a lovely half-assed job on a task she was asked to do. Of course, she never actually verbally abused a customer that I saw, but she blew up at several coworkers and snapped at customers on multiple occasions. With my current manager she'd have been chewed out so loving hard I kind of wish we'd had him back then. But I digress. I would think if you owned the store you wouldn't put up with somebody bitching out your friend and wouldn't need to call a manager over to fire them. Just be all "yo, I own this company and we do not tolerate employees who treat our guests with such open hostility, so get your poo poo and get out" and just explain it to the manager later. If she's that awful the manager's probably been itching to find a reason to get rid of her anyway. venus de lmao has a new favorite as of 20:30 on Sep 2, 2014 |
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Sep 2, 2014 20:25
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canyoneer posted:Having been a retail grunt, the phrase "let me get a manager for you" is the way you deal with angry people. Let the low level manager who makes $1.25/hr more than you get screamed at all day. A good manager who is more experienced also might know a way to defuse a pissed-off customer or at least make them go away faster.
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Sep 14, 2014 21:54
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newreply.php posted:As a former "manager": the quick fix is to say the customer is right, the salesperson is wrong, give them whatever they want, so you don't have some screaming shitlord drawing the attention of all your other customers. Sometimes what happens is that you are actually not lying and do not have the product the customer wants, and no, even if you look "in the back", you're not gonna find any. Good customer service: apologize and offer to take an order for the customer so they can have it when it comes in/is made (depending on industry), or suggest something similar. Bad customer service: sick iceburns that would in any decent establishment get you a severe reaming by both your direct manager and probably the store manager, if not fired.
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Sep 15, 2014 20:52
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Plus a happy rear end in a top hat leaves faster than an angry one. Make the rear end in a top hat customer happy and they'll be on their way.
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Sep 19, 2014 11:18
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JoeyJoJoJr Shabadoo posted:I like how Tumblr rear end in a top hat, instead of treating Jacob as a human being, still talks down to him and then goes in depth about how "retarded" he acts. Using other words obviously. The best part is how the author makes him act like he's got an IQ of about 80, then try to say he's got "high-functioning autism" so he's not that retarded, he's one of the good ones. But he can't even say it. Author has likely never met a person with high-functioning autism. Or any autism.
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Sep 27, 2014 18:27
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Pogs were no longer a thing well before I started high school, but my school banned anything that even vaguely resembled gambling, so pogs probably would've fallen under that. I had a pretty baller slammer with a scorpion inside, though.  Let's see what's up at our old favorite, NotAlwaysRight: quote:(A patron grabs a pair of our headphones, puts them in her purse, and starts walking away.) This supposedly happened in a library. "I just took them when you weren't looking. Is that okay?" Nobody would ever say that. It'd be "oh, sorry, I forgot". quote:(After serving a very difficult table, I am happy they are on dessert and leaving soon. As I go up to hand them the check:) Nuts will break your teeth? How loving soft are your teeth and why are you even eating solid foods?
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Oct 2, 2014 11:06
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Besesoth posted:As I posted literally five posts above yours quote:That doesn't mean it's real Literally three posts above yours is a link proving it's real.
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Oct 11, 2014 00:55
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Farmland Park posted:Not to start a derail or anything, but one time my economics professor deliberately showed a picture of a naked man getting dildoed in the rear end to ananan auditorium full of students to prove a point about fridges. I think you need to share this one. 
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Oct 16, 2014 02:20
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I don't know if it was against policy to take a dildo of unknown cleanliness from a customer and put it into food that we serve to the public.  Sentient Data posted:All I can seem to focus on is the word "whilst" and really obtuse wording like "If you want to successfully hide that, I would really suggest". Why does that troper always need to try to prove themselves more smarter in grammar and junk then this troper? Apparently "whilst" is used in the UK and isn't seen as pretentious.
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Oct 16, 2014 12:59
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JGdmn posted:Wait, who eats in a grocery store? Sad people with no lives. A store with a cafe area and a kitchen that cooks hot meals is cheaper than a restaurant. Swear to god there's a family that eats lunch and/or dinner at my store several times a week.
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Nov 13, 2014 13:12
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"I only hold an associates degree" says somebody who has no idea what it is besides something they saw in a TV ad for night schools and assumed it was something for people who didn't finish college.
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Nov 16, 2014 14:07
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Noyemi K posted:Oh man, someone else found some INCREDIBLE ones back when the Troper Tales pages were still up (some are missing from the documents) And that's how these tropers discovered their latent mental
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Nov 16, 2014 16:54
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What the gently caress does "light deems" mean?
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Nov 16, 2014 18:11
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gwaarrk posted:Hey now my mom quilts all the time, and does request for me Your mom is cool that last one owns
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Dec 27, 2014 01:37
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My Lovely Horse posted:I thought the whole point of baking mixes was that there are flour and sugar already in them. Trader Joe's brownie mix is fantastic and all it requires is butter and eggs.
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Jan 6, 2015 12:09
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:http://www.amazon.com/T-J-Wiseman-Remote-Controlled-Machine/dp/B0006L1ILI "Impress or gross out your friends!" If your friends are impressed by a recording of a fart sound, maybe you should stop hanging out with toddlers.
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Jan 14, 2015 11:53
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Fathis Munk posted:So his sister is his food? Or did he forget where his own lovely story was going? He's threatening the evil fast food employee that she had better not spit on his food in retaliation for him calling her a oval office. Why is he using semicolons like that? That is precisely what regular colons are for! Why doesn't anyone know how to use the poor misunderstood semicolon?
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Jan 21, 2015 16:44
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Fathis Munk posted:Oooh! I thought it was like a little "you mess with the bull, you get the horns" parting quip. Semicolons are used to separate related clauses within the same sentence; you can use them instead of the word "and".
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Jan 21, 2015 17:58
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ANIME MONSTROSITY posted:i know a nice vegan but we never talk about food I know a nice vegan goon and we talk about food all the time because he is a fantastic cook and helped me step up my dosa game.
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Jan 23, 2015 11:52
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Zaphod42 posted:The person who wrote this has never even talked to another human being before. I think that's more like it. People don't talk like that.
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Jan 26, 2015 19:30
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My ex claimed to have been on fairly friendly terms with legendary Irish fiddler and singer Mairéad Ní Mhaonaigh (of Irish folk group Altan), in addition to supposedly having met King Hussein of Jordan and one of his kids. I suppose it could be true but she was so completely full of poo poo most of the time that I really doubt it.
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Feb 13, 2015 12:49
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EmmyOk posted:If she's Irish this may be true. That stereotype that all Irish people know each other is very obnoxious but irritatingly kind of accurate. In terms of size and population we're tiny, we'd be in the top ten smallest american states in size and population. Not even remotely Irish. Do you know Mairéad Ní Mhaonaigh? 
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Feb 14, 2015 09:36
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canyoneer posted:Maybe he had to write a GUI before he sent the spike Better luck next time, slughead!
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Feb 16, 2015 22:14
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How does anyone believe people actually say poo poo like "ma'am, I am a student at a local college"? It reads like the author's only knowledge of human interaction comes from an alien who heard about it from someone who read a book on the subject.
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Feb 17, 2015 12:34
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