- LITERALLY A BIRD
- Sep 27, 2008
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I knew you were trouble
when you flew in
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Maybe you should add to the OP that green text stories from the chans are never real. Not that anybody pays attention to OPs anyway. 
not always right posted:(I am at visiting a game store that I go to quite often, to the point that most of the employees consider me a “regular”. Due to a throat injury I received when I was younger, I am mute. I’m there to see if they have a copy of a game that had, at the time, just come out. There are only two employees working at the time; both are behind the counter as I walk in. Any ‘dialog’ of mine for this story is actually just me scribbling into a notepad and showing it to whoever I am speaking to, as it’s my main method of communicating.)
Employee #2: “Hey, [My Name], are you looking for something?”
Me: “Yeah. I was hoping you had a copy of [Game], since I wasn’t able to reserve a copy.”
Employee #1: “Yeah, we have a few. I’ll show you where they are.”
(He shows me to where they are, and leaves me to do some extra browsing. He returns to the register, where his coworker is, when another customer approaches them. He appears to be in his late-teens/early 20s.)
Customer: “Hey, you really shouldn’t encourage her like that.”
(The customer gestures to me, and isn’t even being subtle about it.)
Employee #2: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have no clue what you mean.”
Customer: “That girl over there! If you treat her like a normal person, she might get the wrong idea!”
Employee #1: “With all due respect, what are you even talking about?”
Customer: “Don’t play dumb! She’s clearly retarded! Won’t it look bad for business if you let a [slur] wander around? And besides, she’s a girl! She probably doesn’t even play video games!”
(Unfortunately, people assuming I am either deaf or mentally handicapped because of my inability to speak is a common occurrence. I’ve gotten used to it, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying. Still, I do my best to ignore it. The assumption that I don’t play video games because I’m a girl isn’t as common, but it does come up once in a while.)
Employee #2: “Please forgive me, sir, but I’m going to have to ask that you not speak about her that way. Not only is she a regular customer, but she’s definitely NOT mentally handicapped. She just can’t speak because of—”
Customer: “Right! Because she’s retarded! I don’t think it’s safe to let her wander around the store. What if she ends up making someone else retarded?!”
(All three of us are completely dumbfounded. As mentioned before, I’m used to these sorts of assumptions, but this was a new one.)
Customer: “So are you going to kick her out or not? People like her don’t deserve to be in here!”
Employee #1: *visibly angry, and doing his best to keep his cool* “No, we’re not. However, if you don’t stop insulting out customers, we are going to have to ask YOU to leave!”
Customer: “What the h***, man?! I’m just looking out for your best interest! If you wanna treat that [slur] like she’s a person, that’s your business, but don’t come running to me if it hurts your business!”
Employee #1: “Okay, that’s it. We tried being civil. Please leave and don’t come back.”
(The customer is clearly pissed off, but before he can say or do anything, I walk over and slip a note into his hands. He instinctively reads the note.)
Me: “By the way, you can call me retarded all you want, but at least I’m not the one with their fly unzipped.”
(He looks down and confirms that his fly is, indeed, unzipped. His face turns a shade of red, and then storms off in what I can only assume was a combination of rage and embarrassment. We still laugh about it to this day!)
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May 4, 2014 08:43
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May 10, 2024 12:56
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- LITERALLY A BIRD
- Sep 27, 2008
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I knew you were trouble
when you flew in
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 now exists apparently.
I think you're looking for this thread.
e: content:
Not Always Right posted:
A Customer’s Behavior Can Cut You In Half
home improvement | WV, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly
(I work as a weekday team member at a home improvement store, mostly in the lumber yard. I am already having a rough day, and a customer asks me if I could cut her a piece of plywood, but our wood cutter is currently out of service. Her pleasant demeanor instantly turns sour.)
Customer: “The fact that your saw is broken is unacceptable! My mother is sitting outside in her vehicle, and she just had open-heart surgery! I don’t have time for this!”
Me: “I’m very sorry that our saw is broken, ma’am, but I could call the store across town for you and see if their saw is functioning—”
Customer: “No! I don’t want to go to the other store! I spent $20 in gas just to f****** get here!”
Me: “Yet again, I do apologize for the inconvenience—”
(The customer obviously does not hear me, and continues shouting.)
Customer: “F*** you! I want my wood cut! I’ll break it in half myself if I have to!”
(At this point, the customer is so angry, I am afraid she will try to physically harm me. Two managers on duty overhear the ordeal and walk over.)
Manager #1: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but as our associate has already told you, our saw is currently out of service, and is due to be replaced shortly. If you would like, we might have a circular saw in the back that we could use to cut it for you—”
Customer: “This is f****** crazy! I don’t understand why you can’t fix the saw! My mother is still out in the vehicle, and I don’t have time for your bulls***!”
Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t mind waiting here, I could go get the saw for you and cut it.”
Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?! I’ve been in the store for over two hours, and you expect me to wait while you go f*** around, and probably not even come back!?”
(After more rambling, she finally agrees to wait. She then says she is going to go outside and ‘cool off.’ After I retrieve the circular saw, I then go outside to look for the customer. I find her in her car, with her feet up on the steering wheel, smoking a cigarette alongside her mother, who, for having ‘open-heart surgery’, is smoking as well. Customer recognizes me and then shoos me away, and I go back inside. After 25 minutes or so, the customer finally comes back inside, and this time, her ‘recovering’ mother has come in to do some paint shopping.)
Customer: “Is anyone going to f****** help me, or am I going to have to start shooting people to get attention?”
Manager #2: “Excuse me, ma’am, is that really necessary? Our associate went looking for you, and it has been over half an hour.”
Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I am ready to cut this wood for you, as soon as you tell me the lengths you want.”
Customer: “I want you to cut it the f*** in half!”
Me: “Would you like me to rip it for you, or cut it in 4×4 sections?”
Customer: “Go ahead and f****** rip it. And stop wasting my time!”
(I proceed to rip the plywood into two foot by eight foot sections, but as it turns out, this was wrong. At this point, the two managers have left me to deal with this customer, because they felt that I had the situation under control.)
Customer: “You f****** dips***! Why did you cut my wood like that?!”
Me: “Ma’am, you told me to rip it—”
Customer: “No, I said in HALF!”
Me: “What did you mean, 4×4 sections?”
Customer: “Yes, that’s what I f****** said the first time!”
(Managers have overheard this as well, and came back over to assist.)
Manager #1: “Ma’am, we would be happy to get you a new piece of wood, but if you would have clarified exactly what you wanted, we stock wood in the dimensions you wanted, and you would have been out of here two hours ago.”
Customer: “I don’t give a s***! I just want my wood cut!”
(Thoroughly annoyed and ready to snap, I reluctantly retrieve a new piece of wood, and agree to re-cut it for her.)
Customer: “About f****** time! Thank you for wasting my life!”
Me: “Gladly.”
(Because of the violent nature of this customer, and because of her threats, the managers finally sent her out of the store, with her precious wood- for free. We didn’t want to give her any excuse to come back and we were thankful nothing else happened! Because of this whole ordeal, the managers allowed me to sit in the break room for a few minutes to cool off. Hopefully, that is the first AND last time I receive a death threat in the workplace.)
LITERALLY A BIRD has a new favorite as of 23:17 on May 23, 2014
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May 23, 2014 23:13
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- LITERALLY A BIRD
- Sep 27, 2008
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I knew you were trouble
when you flew in
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Do they somehow think that if their card gets stolen, the culprit is also going to write "check photo ID?"
I really don't get this.
It's so that the cashier will ask to see some ID and make sure names and faces match.
content, brought to you by the letter F******:
quote:Someone Toad Him Different
Videogame Store | USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month
(I work at a well-known game store. The year is 2008.)
Me: “Hello, welcome to [Video Game Store]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “Do you have a copy of Battletoads?”
Me: *trying not to laugh* “No, we do not, sadly.”
Customer: “That sucks.”
(About a week later:)
Me: *on the phone* “Hello. How may I help you today?”
Caller: “Do you have a copy of Battletoads?”
Me: “No, sir, we do not!”
Caller: “It’s been five days. How come?!”
Me: *in shock* “IS THIS THE SAME CUSTOMER?!”
Caller: “Yes! I want my d*** Battletoads for my PS3, dumb-a**!”
Me: *trying not to laugh* “Sir, Battletoads has been out of print for 17 years now. And I doubt it’s on the PS3.”
Caller: “Well, YOU’RE just a d*** MORON?!” *hangs up*
Me: *shrugs*
(A day later, the same customer walks into the store.)
Customer: “HEY, YOU! I WANT MY BATTLETOADS!”
Me: “Sir, WE. DO. NOT. HAVE. BATTLETOADS!”
Customer: “My brother told me you have it. I want it NOW!”
Me: “You’re brother must’ve been mistaken.”
Customer: “I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT! I’M GONNA FIND MY D*** BATTLETOADS IF I’M GONNA HAVE TO DESTROY THIS ENTIRE STORE!”
(The customer then proceeds to go on a rampage through the entire store, knocking over multiple games and destroying several others. We had to call the police to arrest him. An hour later, his brother shows up)
Customer’s Brother: “Hey, my brother told me you guys ripped him off.”
Me: “Eh, you do know he was looking for a game called Battletoads, right?”
Customer’s Brother: “Oh, god. I can’t believe he fell for that. I told him to do that just to get that moron out of my house. I’m so sorry about that.”
Me: “It’s okay.”
Customer’s Brother: “I’m surprised he didn’t even know about that prank anyway.”
(Turns out that asking for ‘Battletoads’ at any video game store is a popular prank done by people to piss off the employees.)
quote:
What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 2
Fast Food, Restaurant | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion
(I decide to visit my old work on the off-hours for a quick bite to eat. I am served by a new cashier.)
Cashier: “Okay. That will be $11.89. Press the confirm button to make sure your order is correct.”
(I go to press confirm when this occurs at the same time.)
Cashier: “Do yo—”
Me: “Do you want any sauce with that?”
Cashier: “Uh…”
Me: “Did I just ask you if you wanted sauce?”
Cashier: “Yup. You sound like you’d be fit for this place.”
Me: “I worked the day shift.”
Cashier: “Uh, well. Okay.”
Me: “I need to get out of the food service industry.”
Cashier: “Hey, at least you didn’t scream ‘THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!’”
(A few minutes pass. Another customer goes to order. She proceeds to yell at the cashier seconds after she finished placing her order. Having several years of bad customers under my belt I was pretty sure I could handle this one, even though I didn’t work there anymore.)
Me: “Pardon me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “THIS CASHIER OF YOURS SCREWED UP MY ORDER! I WANT MY FOOD FOR FREE, AS IT’S THE CHRISTIAN THING TO DO!”
(I see that this customer has ordered the food via a self-service order screen. The employee just reads the screen and then hands out the order.)
Me: “Ma’am, I find it hard to believe that this cashier managed to screw up an order that is entirely dependent on the customer’s order screen.”
Customer: “Don’t you dare talk back to me! It isn’t the Christian thing to do! God will ha—”
Me: “Pardon me for a second, but I don’t understand you. While I might not be Christian, you claim talking back to you is not Christian. I’m not sure at what point you manage to assume a role higher than God to be able to dictate what is and isn’t ‘Christian.’ In fact just by doing that you are breaking two of the seven deadly sins! I’m sure that isn’t the CHRISTIAN thing to do.”
Customer: “You’ll burn in Hell for this! I’ll make sure of it!”
Me: “But isn’t that conspiring with the D—”
Customer: “F*** YOU!”
(The customer proceeds to run out of the building.)
Cashier: “Wow…”
Me: “The sad part is, she is a regular here and has been pulling that for months. Well, you had your weird customer, and your first ‘Not Always Right.’ I guess its time for your first tip.”
Cashier: “This has been a long night…”
(The cashier and I have been best friends ever since. That was her first day working there. Thankfully, she never saw the lady again.)
quote:
All Manner Of Meat With No Manners
Deli | CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top, Wild & Unruly
(A customer approaches the deli just as I’m about to shut down the department to clean it. She takes a number and spends the next few minutes looking over the meat selections.)
Me: “How can I help you today?”
Customer: “Uh, yes… I would like half a pound of pastrami, please.”
Me: “Sure thing!”
(I slice her order and hand it to her. She thanks me and looks at the package. Just as she’s about to turn to leave, she looks at the package.)
Customer: “Excuse me! But this isn’t what I f****** ordered you stupid piece of s***!”
Me: “Ma’am, you asked for pastrami and that’s what I cut for you.”
Customer: *scoffs* “Well, that’s not what this is!” *points at the glass case*
Me: “Are you pointing at the pastrami?”
Customer: “Yes, I am, you dumb a**hole! You should be able to f***** see that!”
Me: “Actually, I can’t. One moment.”
(I walk around the counter to where she’s standing.)
Customer: “See, this is what I want.”
Me: *sigh* “Ma’am, that’s not pastrami you’re pointing at. It’s salami. It clearly says it on the wrapping and on the sign under the product.”
Customer: “I know that, you f****** idiot!”
Me: “If you know that, then why did you ask for pastrami? They’re not even close to being the same product. In fact they’re in different color wrapping.”
Customer: “Hey, stop being an a**hole and give me what I want! You’re making this more difficult than it has to be and you’re wasting my time!”
Me: “Sure, hold on. Please be advised that you are the one that placed the wrong order which is prolonging your stay here.”
Customer: “I don’t f****** care! Hurry up and finish my order!”
(I quickly slice her order as the deli is now closed and I want to go home.)
Me: “Here you go, ma’am.”
Customer: “Thank you. Was that so f***** hard?”
Me: “Yes, it was about as hard as reading a sign that says salami and confusing it with pastrami.”
LITERALLY A BIRD has a new favorite as of 21:37 on Jun 28, 2014
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Jun 28, 2014 21:32
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- LITERALLY A BIRD
- Sep 27, 2008
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I knew you were trouble
when you flew in
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Facebook posted:
EVERYBODY SHOULD READ THIS!!!!!!!!!
REPOST...IT CAN SAVE A LIFE OR TWO!!!
WARNING: Some knew about the red light on cars, but not Dialing 112.
An UNMARKED police car pulled up behind her and put his lights on. Lauren's parents have always told her to never pull over for an unmarked car on the side of the road, but rather to wait until they get to a gas station, etc.
Lauren had actually listened to her parents advice, and promptly called, 112 on her cell phone to tell the police dispatcher that she would not pull over right away. She proceeded to tell the dispatcher that there was an unmarked police car with a flashing red light on his rooftop behind her. The dispatcher checked to see if there were police cars where she was and there weren't, and he told her to keep driving, remain calm and that he had back up already on the way.
Ten minutes later 4 cop cars surrounded her and the unmarked car behind her. One policeman went to her side and the others surrounded the car behind. They pulled the guy from the car and tackled him to the ground. The man was a convicted rapist and wanted for other crimes.
I never knew about the 112 Cell Phone feature. I tried it on my AT&T phone & it said, "Dialing Emergency Number."
Especially for a woman alone in a car, you should not pull over for an unmarked car. Apparently police have to respect your right to keep going on to a safe place.
*Speaking to a service representative at Bell Mobility confirmed that 112 was a direct link to State trooper info. So, now it's your turn to let your friends know about "Dialing, 112"
You may want to send this to every Man, Woman & Youngster you know; it may well save a life.
This applies to ALL 50 states
PLEASE PASS ALONG TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY, IT CAN SAVE A LIFE....
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dialing+112
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Aug 6, 2014 03:44
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- LITERALLY A BIRD
- Sep 27, 2008
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I knew you were trouble
when you flew in
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quote:Single-Handedly Stupid
OFFICE SUPPLY STORE | CALIFORNIA, USA | EXTRA STUPID
Me: “How are you doing? Did you find everything all right?”
Customer: “No, I was looking for left-handed writing instruments, but apparently, you don’t have them. I guess I’ll have to take my business somewhere else. I feel bad for my son, though. He has been suffering.”
Me: “Ma’am, I believe that all pencils and pens work for both right-handed and left-handed people.”
Customer: “Then, why is he suffering? He says his hand hurts every time he writes! You don’t understand!”
Me: “I am left-handed. I have been using the same pencils and pens as everyone else, and never had a problem.”
Customer: “I don’t like your tone! You are so disrespectful and unsympathetic! I want to speak to your manager!”
I had to read this one through more than once because I couldn't tell if it was an actual NAR or a goon-made parody. Goddamn.
I was expecting a pencil-breaking-related punchline.
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Mar 18, 2015 23:19
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May 4, 2014 08:43
