Big Grunty Secret posted:

The STDH part of that lady cop story is that she would arrest the guy instead of just waving her badge and having him shut up immediately. The story doesn't specify that she's on duty so I assume that instead of going wherever she was going, she'd rather cuff this dude, call it in, and then go to write a report for it, not to mention the specious grounds for arrest. The guy was being verbally abusive, but it's hard to charge for a statement so vague as "I'll kill you" (not technically assault)

quote:

My wife recently started a job at the check-in desk at a downtown 5 star hotel. One of her shift supervisors is a relatively young Lebenese guy, lets call him Douche Nozle (DN). DN is a typical Jersey Shore looking wannabe. He's got greasy hair, immaculately groomed 3 day growth and tanned skin. The funny thing is he is also pudgy and overweight so the whole look just comes across as sad. I've met him a few times and he is smarmy, arrogant and treats his staff like poo poo.
Anyway, from day 1 he started hitting on my wife. He initially sent her a text, explaining that he lifted her number from the HR file as he was a 'dedicated leader' and wanted to 'look after his team'. He texted her pretty much before and after every shift, asking her to lunch before hand or drinks afterwards in order to 'explain the sytem to her'. These texts later devolved to telling her to 'sleep well and lots so you can be fully refreshed at work' explaining that he wanted her looking 'angelic like you always do'. Anyway, there is tons of this random crap and he is always calling her pet names like 'babe', 'angel' or 'sexy'. My wife tried to keep it professional in her replies but it was quite clear this DN wasn't going to stop. She also always wears both her engagement ring and wedding band so there is no excuse.
To put this story into context, I am a current serving Army Officer. As a platoon commander who has led soldiers in Afghanistan I would say that I know a thing or two about leadership. So he's claim that he was just being a 'dedeciated leader' just seemed pathetic. I wanted to straight out punch this dude in the face, schoolyard style, but my wife calmed me down as she didn't want to start trouble at her new job and as a supervisor, DN could technically assign her the crappy shifts.
Two weeks ago, my wife asked me to go pick her up from work, that way, she could introduce me to DN and rest of the desk clerks as her husband. I went straight after my work so I was in full uniform and arrived about 10 mins before her shift ended. I walked straight up to him and introduced myself to DN. I towered a foot above him and gave him my hardest bone cruncher handshake. My voice was friendly but my eyes were like a hawk, 'G'day DN, my wife told me ALL about you. She is saying how you are a great leader and always looks after her team'. He reddened, mumbled something about being busy and walked way. I stared at him all the way as he exited the room, my wife and the rest of her team all burst out laughing. Pathetic.
A few days after this incident, my wife gets an email from DN with upper management cc'd. DN works with her everyday so the only reason why he would send her an email in lieu of just telling her would be because he wanted her to get into trouble from the bosses. The email explained that employees are forbidden from having personal visits during work hours as it might reflect badly on the hotel. If she was to have someone pick her up that I should wait in the loading area at the back of the hotel. What the gently caress! I was super pissed now. Again, the wife calmed me down and told me to forget it (I love her, but she can be annoyingly professional sometimes!).
So I sat down and plotted revenge with my 4 of my Army mates during our weekly drinking session. We decided that the revenge should be subtle and not traceable to me (this rules out physically harming him). We then came up with a series of events that would screw with him a period of 4 days. Mind you I did this all while keeping my wife out of it (she would NOT approve!).
My mates and I went to a internet cafe and spent three hours signing up his work email address to all number of 'strange' websites from all corners of the internet. From gay dating, to armadillo appreciation, anything and everything. Somethings we say I will never be able to erase from my memory (the raw internet is a horrible place children).
We surveilled him from when left work and tailed him to his house (it wasn't hard as we had his shifts courtesy of my wife). After acquiring his address we waited till dead in the middle of the night, sneaked into yard, jacked his car up and placed all four tyres up a tree he had in his front yard. Let him puzzle that one out.
Finally, my friends and I called hotel management independently six times at varying intervals, pretended we were guests and complained that we saw DN behind the counter looking at inappropriate stuff on the internet.
I feigned disinterest when my wife came home excitingly telling me that DN was late for work as someone had removed his tyres and that management had come to ask him a few questions but seized his computer instead when he wasn't there and were going through his emails. A few days later DN had being demoted and moved to a different location across town (3 star motel owned by the same corporation). I've never told my wife my involvement.
TLDR: gently caress with an Army Officer's wife, get demoted and moved across town.
Edit: Corrected for grammar and spelling.

quote:

Might fit in here as a separate story... twas a comment first.
One of my first jobs I was assigned help-desk duty and set to learn from the resident senior staff member (ssm) , somebody who jumped on board of the year 2k hiring train... Not a very techie person.
He was not interested in the work and not an extremely pleasant person, with explosive character traits. Anyway a few months pass and I notice him making fun of almost everybody he meets, lighthearted humor if you hear it without context, but me and his other colleagues knew that it was hardly ever lighthearted. One day I make a funny remark regarding a comment he made, he heard it and started threatening me with physical violence...
Things were a bit tense going forward, he continued his poor work etiquette, closing 40-50 tickets per week, while me and the others cleared almost that much per day. Complained to the managers with hard numbers after more than 2 months of his laziness... But he said he couldn't really do anything about it...
So...
Figured out that the machines shared the same local administrator password, put a small app on the ssm Pc which generates colorful horizontal lines on the screen when triggered remotely. As if there was an issue with the monitor (he swapped his 30kg 21" crt model with one from stock) When that didn't solve it, he wanted to replace the videocard, but it was onboard... So he build over his hard drive into another pc
Issue still remains so he now thinks it's software related. Does a complete reinstall of the os, reinstall all his apps, restore data etc, at this point he has been working on figuring out what is wrong for week, he wasted a week doing nothing but this. So after the reinstall he finds everything working again, and he thinks he solved it. Next week monday I reinstalled the app, looked him in the eye and said while clicking the remote app button "now you have the issue, now you don't"
He went ballistic and actually tried to assault me, manager notices the commotion, other colleagues pretend they don't know why he's mad... Manager has an excuse now to call him into the office and in combination of the weeks of laziness... He gets fired!
2 years later he added me on linkedin and wanted to hang out... He pretended as if nothing ever happened...

Nckdictator posted:

On one hand rape happens, on the other hand.. I can't imagine anyone talking like this.

ibntumart posted:

Yup, that was SpecOps. No idea if he was another goon in on it.

MaeveyTresh posted:

Leon Einstein posted:

That's a creepy story to make up. Also, I'm not sure about other guys, but the idea of out of control boners is ridiculous to me.

silencekit posted:

I don't think the penis incident happened, but what would compel you to invent a story like this? It isn't really funny, it doesn't make the guy look cool, and it isn't appalling enough to really shock the internet.

Warchicken posted:

Wait. So uh, he did self-admittedly cum all over a young girl's chest, right? And buttcoins saved him? Is this supposed to... I....

silencekit posted:

That's not just a trying-to-learn-English thing? That's a deliberate stylistic choice that this guy made?

ibntumart posted:

But enough stupid Gawker family website drama. On to another fake server tale from that same entry:

sharktamer posted:

How could any rational human being believe Stalin was great, let alone be "very open" about it. These losers aren't even trying to make their stories believable any more.

Toriori posted:

I totally believe this because I had a prof who gave us a very stern warning to never put her as a reference unless she already granted it, and that she would gladly trash talk you if she got an unexpected reference call.

Pththya-lyi posted:

How do you confuse clear liquor with water? If s/he drank enough to get drunk, she should have recognized the smell, if not the taste, of alchohol.

Wings of Mine posted:

I saw this a long time ago on an imageboard I used to post to:


The quintessential shit_that_didnt_happen.txt!

Marley Wants More posted:

This actually happened at the company I work for, when we sent an invoice to Bob Jones University (Christian college in South Carolina). Except our response was "Ummmm....no. Pay me."

Preechr posted:

Alright, I'll tell it as best I can, but bear in mind that this was a story I was told years ago.

The professor was, at the time, a grad student working on his PhD in a Greek university. There was a great deal of unrest in Greece at the time, culminating in student riots. The professor and the rest of the chemistry department knew that the police were going to move on the university soon, so they came up with a plan: gently caress The Police. They had a large amount of DMSO on hand. For those of you who do not know what DMSO is, it is a solvent with a particularly interesting property- it will transport nearly anything it is in solution with directly through your skin and into your bloodstream. The students exploited this particular property by using their know-how to whip up a large batch of LSD, mix it into DMSO, and then fill a number of Super Soakers with it. Once the police moved on the university, the chem students donned protective gear, picked up their toys, and went out to meet them. While the riot cops had face shields, the DMSO solution would soak right through their uniforms and into their skin.

Now, imagine you're a Greek riot cop. You're having a pretty good day wrapping your baton around student skulls. All of a sudden, some shits in lab coats pop out of the crowd and hose you down with a squirt gun. Those stupid sons of OH poo poo THE SKY IS BURNING MY HANDS ARE MELTING WHY IS EVERYONE 100 FEET TALL-

I cannot imagine a worse place to go on a massive acid trip than in the middle of a riot. The professor laughs as he tells this story. When we ask what happened to the cops, he stops laughing, and starts the day's lesson.

razorrozar posted:

Related to this is the assumption that a doctorate makes you an expert on anything ever, and revolutionizing the field of physics or dentistry grants credence on anti-vaccination and abortion.

My Lovely Horse posted:

Doesn't even work in French. And you know they weren't speaking English.

My Lovely Horse posted:

The part that's easily looked up in dictionaries without context or any working knowledge of French I guess.

phosdex posted:

I don't really understand what happened here. On a related note when I was young I worked at a dominoes where we gave free pizza to any cops. I think it was supposed to be sort of a bribe so they wouldn't hassle drivers making questionable traffic decisions. Then I worked 3rd shift at a gas station and cops got drinks for free. Basically I assume cops get free poo poo everywhere.

bringmyfishback posted:

You mean you had a fantastic mother because Irn Bru is loving delicious? I agree!


I don't believe this at all! No one stood up and clapped and he didn't play "Bohemian Rhapsody"!

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dialing+112

Bonster posted:

the total comes to [total]. Will that be cash or credit?