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May 4, 2014 20:16
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:I love you guys, so I'm just passing this along 92.5% is such a weirdly specific number.
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May 28, 2014 07:15
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I misread that as first as a bunch of kindergarteners busting out into an impromptu musical number. I think I like that mental image more.
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Jul 10, 2014 14:32
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Paladinus posted:The real stdh part here is that a five-year-old wouldn't be able to reach all the way to turn the water on. One of my earliest memories (I must have been 4, I think) is standing on a chair and desperately trying to reach the faucet. My arms were too short 
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Jul 28, 2014 16:52
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That reminds me of an episode of Knight Rider where Michael tries to reach some general, dials a number and the general starts his WHERE DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER? spiel. Problem is that the viewer can clearly see that Hasselhoff was simply dialling 1234 
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Jan 3, 2015 21:17
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Besesoth posted:They might have meant lesbians specifically; Leviticus only talks about men fuckin' other men in that context. There were some cases of lesbian nuns being brought before the Inquisition in early modern Italy and mostly the judges had no idea what to do with them, as for most people back then sexuality only existed as man<->woman (good) and man<->man (bad) and the bible doesn't exactly talk about Lesbianism either.
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Jan 30, 2015 14:47
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I can believe that (except the tear-shedding thing, of course) just because this "burn" is so amazingly pathetic.
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Feb 12, 2015 09:13
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Khazar-khum posted:You better watch out! I think the realisation that Santa has his very own Gestapo with Mom and Dad merrily snitching on me would have been terrifying for me as a boy. Luckily this poo poo didn't happen, or I would fear for Owen's belief in humanity 
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Mar 23, 2015 17:33
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It's true, we loving hate Josie Mencia. (Who is this guy?)
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Mar 24, 2015 10:13
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Ah, that ancient and treasured Chinese custom of putting random poo poo on the floor
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Mar 27, 2015 20:33
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Serperoth posted:Feng Shui? poo poo that did happen: my mayor just paid 5000€ out of the town's coffers to a Feng Shui expert for realigning the energy flows or whatever of our town castle's cellar because his dog wouldn't stop whining when being down there 
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Mar 27, 2015 23:09
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sweeperbravo posted:There used to be a guy on TVTropes who was adamant that in close combat, a sword was just as effective, if not moreso, than a firearm. Maybe it was written by that guy. Ha, I remember that guy. Didn't he seriously suggest that if two opponents were like ten metres spaced apart, the gunman would lose because he would need precious time drawing and aiming his gun during which the swordsman with his mad ninja skills would teleport to his opponent and slice him up real good? Fake edit: and was he in turn not the same guy as the fat one who did those "true steel" DVDs where he would slice up some pig carcasses with his katana and get really exhausted after one swing or two?
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May 3, 2015 16:53
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lol that's got to be the weakest burn I've ever heard.
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May 3, 2015 21:19
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My definition of "sexy":
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May 4, 2015 10:58
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  At least they thought of the fold marks
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Aug 16, 2015 10:59
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corn in the bible posted:Please explain in detail your preferred jacking off position Well, first I put on this video and then...  (Considering that this is the internet, I'm not actually sure that this is stdh)
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Aug 26, 2015 22:27
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It reads like the world's shittiest theatre play.
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Oct 21, 2015 08:01
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"I heard about this kinky gay club where dudes dressed up as minotaurs and chased you down so you would give them blowjobs. But when I found out that those sickos actually dressed up as minotaurs and chased us down so we would give them blowjobs, I immediately called the police!"
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Oct 24, 2015 11:28
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Oh, are we talking super geniuses now? Well, look no further that this guy here. (This would also fit in the "PYF persons who clearly wrote their own Wikipedia entry" thread, I guess) e: his twitter is pretty cool as well, with deep philosophical observations like these:  
System Metternich has a new favorite as of 12:47 on Oct 30, 2015 |
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Oct 30, 2015 12:42
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Q: What's a sign of good sex? A: When the both of you start having inane conversations mid-coitus.
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Oct 30, 2015 17:51
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lol if you're in a country where the people in small villages aren't either 100% catholic or protestant
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Nov 1, 2015 09:47
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Zaphod42 posted:https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...him-some-votes/ lol he didn't even bother to read the bible properly Genesis 41, 48-49 posted:Joseph collected all the food produced in those seven years of abundance in Egypt and stored it in the cities. In each city he put the food grown in the fields surrounding it. Joseph stored up huge quantities of grain, like the sand of the sea; it was so much that he stopped keeping records because it was beyond measure.  doesn't look that urban to me, but what do I know, i'm not a brain surgeon
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Nov 6, 2015 00:36
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fallingdownjoe posted:I imagine his response would be the reverse shot, showing that the pyramids of Giza are about 500 metres away from a heavily populated built up area.   OK, I didn't know that
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Nov 6, 2015 00:47
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Bertrand Hustle posted:The woman is 92 years old and doesn't exist, cut her a little slack. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against people that don't exist. Hell, most of my friends don't exist! But if there's one thing I absolutely can't stand about the non-existent subculture is that virtually no-one starts dating without not first trading inane, non-existent witticisms over the heads of non-existent antagonists who afterwards invariably don't storm out of the room, literally not shaking. Because they don't exist. I loving hate the non-existent subculture and would wish that it went away forever, if it wasn't already. Thanks Obama.
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Nov 22, 2015 01:12
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TheKennedys posted:
Men are a race now? 
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Dec 6, 2015 23:16
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"I want to show that my handicapped best friend (who totally exists, by the way) shouldn't be belittled and called "retarded" by having me speak for him to mean customers while he stands in the back bawling in my totally not made-up story!"
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Dec 19, 2015 22:55
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goose fleet posted:Who the gently caress would steal a flag that's like the lamest thing to steal Antifa in Germany regularly steal and/or destroy German flags because only nazis have one, you see. IIRC it was during the last football world cup that one guy in Berlin would hang a bigass flag from his bakery and Antifa guys would tear it down like three times until some people from the neighbourhood started guarding it. The kicker? The flag owner was an immigrant himself living in a majority immigrant area.
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Feb 1, 2016 08:14
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I can totally believe that though (with the addendum that he probably never wore any to begin with)
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Feb 26, 2016 11:27
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Khazar-khum posted:Meals poo poo that *did* happen: I too could eat tons of unhealthy stuff at 14 and remain thin as a rail, only to blow up like a balloon in my mid-20s. I wonder how these tropers look now.
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Mar 2, 2016 09:52
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If he was 83 in 2015, he would have been 12 in 1944. I didn't know American children were that hardcore back then
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Mar 8, 2016 15:01
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:Kid was mean to me and/or my SO in middle school? Heck yeah you bet I'm gonna make their life a living hell when we're both grown-rear end adults. How dare you imply I'm a petty vindictive asshat B-but she put things in his hood! 
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Apr 1, 2016 03:42
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And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word
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Apr 2, 2016 07:47
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Yer a wizard, Harry
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Apr 3, 2016 14:33
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