Zaphod42 posted:

What kind of a name is "Abcde" !? That's not a name that's the start of the alphabet. Makes me really question her parents' judgement.

canyoneer posted:

quote:

First, make sure you clean and rinse the tub really good. This is important, and make sure you tell her you cleaned it well. Then fill it with full hot water first to heat up the tub itself. Leave it for a few minutes, then drain. 

epopt posted:

Did a quick search and found it although I like how one of the comments below the picture was "I don't love my child that much".



I can only hope that is stdh.

Fathis Munk posted:

Turns out this av is appropriate with a lot of threads on the forum It might get replaced soonish but I very much love it.



Dude is swimming in compliments and upvotes and whatever

Fathis Munk posted:

Ms Happy Wednesday posted:

My one lung is from a punctured lung I suffered in a motorcycle accident. It is not gone but it is not fully functional. House at 14 was purchased with part of the sale of a wholesale business I couldn't run anymore. I still have the house!

quote:

I just bought it and the title was put under my name. That was it. It cost me $20,000 or so which was about half of what the business' client list was sold for.

quote:

Augh more business questions. Er, employees were 2 in stocks, 1 in shipping, and a secretary to take in orders and keep a proper record. Annual revenue? It varied from anywhere between $20,000 to a maximum of $350,000 which I only achieved one year. I sold silver jewelry. I sold it so I could keep traveling!

quote:

It did support 5 people, and could've supported at least 10 more. That was the selling point, with my ample client list, and my stock providers, it was just up to someone with more time and money to expand the business.

quote:

I had 5 employees, their salaries were not that big. How does my business fit into all this? What can you do if I'm lying or if I am telling the truth? Unless you have experience with a wholesale business, I doubt you can be a good judge of where the money goes, what type of salary to expect, and what is the appropriate revenue for that type of business.

All it will ever amount to will be my word against yours. If you are curious, I can answer, but if you are going "Oh bullshit, I was dumb and busy with video games as a 14 year old, and so must you be! Unacceptable!"

It was the family trade, I was toddling around warehouses, casting at the furnace when I was 6, and talking to foreigner traders who came to our workshops for most of my life.

quote:

Pfft, you might want to read more carefully. I don't support my travel with that business, I sold it off. I so something similar, but for a bigger company that I do not own, of course.

Don't know about your parents, but mine taught me my trade since I was a babe, and I'm glad for it because I've never had to have a job I did not enjoy. You've never traveled abroad? It's easier than you might think.

Get your passport, and some money, not too much is needed, but it depends to where you want to visit. The only country that has ever given me poo poo about traveling in and out of has been the US. And sometimes Argentina, but not as much as the US.

Singapore is a shipping port, anything from eastern producers goes through Singapore. Or is the fact that I got the boxes from there strange? How? I've seen my parents order gemstones from Singapore all the time, I knew who to go to.

I did not start traveling until I was 16, and we know clients in most countries, which always welcomed me for a visit if I felt like it. There's lots of countries very much different than your own, try visiting them.

I think it is hard for you to accept it because you probably never got to at least try to start a business yourself. It's never too late, independent business is hard, but satisfying.

quote:

How did I support myself? Silver, my friend. It knows how to sing in all languages. Once I went to Delhi, and I had about $500 worth of silver jewelry, which I traded for $500 worth of faceted gemstones. Then I sold them to jewelers in Buenos Aires for $2000. Sorry I don't do everything through Walmart and the mighty American government like you.

Unlike you, I don't just tourist around and try to badly speak their language.

Numerical Anxiety posted:

This is old now, but it's been bothering me. How is that trade remotely profitable? Sure you made $1500 there, most if not more than that would be eaten up by your expenses, assuming you went to Buenos Aires, which you've implied that you would have. Throw in paying employees and everything else, and while silver might be able to sing, I have to consider the possibility that it can't do math.

corn in the bible posted:

canyoneer posted:

So, if you meet a vegan who also runs marathons, which of those facts will they insert into conversation first?

corn in the bible posted:

I fumble with the lock, manage to extract it, tremblingly place it in the guy's hand. He nods, puts one hand on the back of my sweat-drenched New York Jets jacket, drags me back out into the main room, puts the other hand on the back of my friend's jacket, and shoves us both outside with the cops. "Tell these gringos to get their asses home."

Stan Taylor posted:

Those "men are oppressed!" STDHs are the best. Wasn't there one about a guy putting hot sauce in his used condom before he threw it away? Classic.

quote:

My gf and I are both 21 and have been dating for 5 months. Early in the relationship she talked a lot about having children, and I said I was NOT comfortable with that under ANY circumstances. We are both in college and it would be a terrible idea for obvious reasons.

She said ok and started going on the pill, only I discovered she stopped taking it two months ago. I made sure to ALWAYS wear a condom, and to keep them away from places where she could tamper with them.

Cut to today. We had sex and I got up to go the bathroom and throw the condom out and then went back to bed. She got dressed and also went to the bathroom. I could see when she stepped out that she had something in her hand. I asked her what it was and she started yelling how she had the used condom and she was "finally going to get the baby I deserve" and then started running for door.

I freaked out and ran after her and caught her at the door. My mind was racing, and she was about to get out. I panicked and hit her in the stomach and then took the condom forcibly from her hands. I'm not proud of what I did, but I was FREAKED out in the moment and she was about to escape and I just did what I thought I needed to do.

She caught her breath and left and now she's been calling (I haven't answered) and texting me saying she's going to call the police and have me arrested unless I have sex with her without a condom.

Reddit, I'm REALLY scared right now. I can't be a father, I just can't. I also have no money for a lawyer if I get arrested. What am I going to do? Can anyone PLEASE give me advice? This is a throw away because she knows my other account and she's going totally psycho right now.

Edit : Thanks everyone for your advice. I would not talk to the police if I'm arrested. I'm afraid to talk to a public defender, especially if its a woman. Anyone have experience with this?

Also, I'm thinking of stringing my GF along so that she won't call the cops on me. I can't have a criminal record, it will destroy my future, but so will being a father. How can I take her back but avoid having unprotected sex?

Edit 2 Here are some of the texts:

1: I can't believe you hit me

2: We need to talk, right now

3: Pick up your phone

4: I'm going to call the police if you don't answer this phone

Voicemail transcript: [Yelling] You loving bastard, how dare you punch me for what I'm entitled to! Call me the minute you get this god drat message or I'll call the loving police and end your future. CALL MEEEE

5: You think you'll ever get a job when they know you're a woman beater? Call me [Note: She sent this one five times]

Voicemail: You're not man enough to answer your phone you loving rear end in a top hat? You either give me what I want or I'm calling the loving police.

6: My stomach has a bug [I think she meant to type big] bruise. I took a picture. The only way out of this is to talk with me.

Voicemail: You hit me, I can send you loving jail rear end in a top hat. The only way out of this is to cooperate with WHAT I WANT. NO CONDOM. CALL ME IF YOU WANT OUT OF THIS.

Khazar-khum posted:

"Well, then, if you are supposed to learn, and learning is what you did today, then you did what you are supposed to do. and doing what you're supposed to do is being good" 

Khazar-khum posted:

Then there are these people.

Stoatbringer posted:

Shouldn't it be a bible, a gun and an eagle?

invisible jerk posted:

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=1352.0

lotta words talking about a goth wedding that sounds a lot like someone's ~*~*dReAm WeDdiNg*~*~ fanfiction but is meant to be from a woman who was horrified by it? or something



and then the goth in question responds

quote:

I asked where he wanted to eat, and to my shock, he responded with, “Take me to the best steak house here in the city of Houston.” Now, I’m no cultural expert by any means, but even I knew this was outlandish. I waited for the punch line of the joke, but he was 100% serious. Apparently he loves his steak, and can only eat it when he is here by himself in the states for obvious reasons.

Fathis Munk posted:

Imgur Profession STDH is at it again."JHS ESL teacher in Japan"

razorrozar posted:

Didn't it turn out that the NAR editor was making all the stories way more STDH than when they were submitted?

Not Always Right posted:

Rewarding Behavior, Part 2
HIGH SCHOOL | AB, CANADA | GENIUS, PARENTS, TEACHERS, TOP

(In high school, I was wrongly kept off of the honor roll. When this was corrected, it embarrassed a few of my teachers, and they never forgot. A few years later, I’m at my first year of college, and my sister is at her first year of high school. I’m doing quite well in my classes, and she can’t help but update my former teachers on my progress. But her updates annoy my former math teacher, and he calls a parent-teacher conference with my mother, under the pretense that my sister is struggling.)

Mother: “So, you called this conference today to talk about my daughter. I do know that math has always been one of her more difficult subjects, so if there’s anything we can do at home to help her.”

Teacher: “Actually, I think the main problem with your daughter is your son. He’s being a very bad influence on her.”

Mother: “Really? How so?”

Teacher: “Well, your daughter keeps going on and on about how well your son is doing at [college]. I don’t think that your son getting into some liberal arts college is an accomplishment to be proud of.”

Mother: “I beg your pardon?”

Teacher: “I mean, your son was supposed to be some kind of super-genius, right? If that’s true, why isn’t he going to some ivy-league college down in the States?”

Mother: “I’m sorry, but you called this conference to talk about my daughter. I don’t see what my son has to do with it.”

Teacher: “Don’t worry about your daughter. She’s doing fine. The real concern, I think, is your idiot son who wasn’t good enough to get into Princeton.”

Mother: *getting very angry* “Look. My son’s grades were good enough to get into any college he chose. After he did all the research, he determined that [college] was best for his budget and career goals. I don’t need to defend his choice of school to your or anyone. Now, you called this meeting to talk about my daughter.”

Teacher: “Whoa! Touchy! I guess Harvard telling your son to hit the bricks is still a sore spot in your house.”

Mother: “We’re done here.”

(My mother storms out of the classroom. Halfway down the hall, she hears my former math teacher calling after her.)

Teacher: “JUST ADMIT HE’S NOT A GENIUS!”

Unfiltered posted:

Junior High School
AB, Canada

(When I first started going to college, my little sister was quite proud of me, and always boasting about my studies to her classmates. For some reason, her bragging really annoyed her math teacher, which led to this exchange at parent/teacher night.)

My Mother: So, I know my daughter’s always had difficulties in math, so I’m wondering if there’s anything I can do to help her.

Teacher: Well, actually, I think there’s a bigger problem that needs to be addressed. You daughter keeps talking about your son attending a liberal arts college like it’s some kind of accomplishment.

Mother: I’m not sure what that has to do with anything.

Teacher: I mean, your son was supposed to be some kind of honors student. If your son’s so smart, why isn’t he at some ivy league school down in the USA?

Mother: Excuse me, but we’re here to talk about my daughter.

Teacher: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she’s doing fine, whatever. I want to know more about your idiot son who couldn’t get into Harvard. He’s not such a genius now, is he?

(My mother stormed out of the classroom, and filed a complaint the principal the next day. For the record, this math teacher was my math teacher once…for about a week at the start of the semester. Then he faked getting cancer to go on workers’ comp.)

Marley Wants More posted:

Sharing because you never know! Better safe than sorry! Makes you think!

quote:

I doubt many people are going to believe me, but here's the story anyway. I warn you now that this is pretty long.

It was 2001 and I was celebrating my 19th birthday visiting some friends in New York City. My friends got me some "alternative forms of identification", and we got into a bar. I really hate the taste of alcohol, but I didn't want to let my friends down, so I had a few drinks.

This place was kinda dark and empty, but up against one corner of the bar was this beautiful young girl playing the piano kind of softly. Most people were talking to their friends or busy drinking a lot so she was pretty much ignored, but she sounded so beautiful that I had to get closer. Time seemed to go by incredibly fast (must have been the alcohol in my little body) but after a while I ended up being the only person listening to her. When she took a break from playing she came down and talked to me for a few minutes just about a few little things. We hit it off almost instantly as I was able to make her laugh, and I was surprised that even though she had a slightly thick Russian accent we could completely understand each other. My friends were ready to leave, but I told them I would catch up later.

She went up and sang for a little while again, and again I was the only one listening. She stopped after two more songs and came down to talk with me again. She told me all sorts of things about how her parents got her into music, how she'd lived in Russia, about all these little songs she wrote as a kid (she had hundreds).

At first I was trying to be all tough and manly, to kinda impress her.. bragging about things I had done in my life. She caught on to it, and she told me, "Listen honey. There's hundreds of strong men out there. I like men who are kind, who are honest, men who can be open with me." I switched gears from there, and it turned out she was much more happy to talk with me being myself then someone who was trying to be showy.

It was almost time to go so she got up on stage and sung one last song, she started by saying "This one's for you, honey," and pointed at me. I was amazed because I couldn't remember up to that point a girl ever being so friendly with me.

The bar was closing up and I asked to help her put her stuff away. I asked her if she had a cd that I could buy so I could hear her again. She came back with, "You don't need a cd, I'll give you a private performance. Why don't you come back to my place?" My jaw dropped to the floor, but I did my best to keep my cool.

We were driving back to her apartment and we talked for a bit more, and I realized I hadn't even asked this girl her name! I embarassingly asked her, and she told me, "That's ok, I don't know yours either. My name is Regina, Regina Spektor." I told her my last name, and because of her russian-english, she couldn't pronounce it correctly. She tried a couple times, "Samsmanskay.... Samskemansk, can I just say Samson?" I said sure, and her saying that brought us up talking about Samson the biblical figure. She told me again how she liked sensitive men and she said that maybe if Samson had cut his hair then he'd have to be more sensitive and she would like him.

Anyways we got back to her place, one of those big studios with a really high ceiling. She got the place so she could play her music all the time without people complaining. She played a few of the more softer, quieter songs which I loved. She offered me something to eat, but we got into the kitchen and she had all this weird Russian food, so I just asked her to get me a piece of wonderbread, that would be good enough.

She asked me if I was going to stay and I said I wanted to. I won't bore you with the details of the afterwards, but I'll say it was my first time and I was no stallion, but I held her for a while after. I told her how beautiful she was and how beautiful this whole night had been, but at the same time sad because I knew that I didn't live here and we couldn't have a relationship. We talked for a while about stupid little things and eventually fell asleep in each others arms.

She had another gig to go to the next day so she was off in a different direction. I thanked her as she left and she told me that she was proud to be the first girl who loved me.

I went back to my friends bragging, of course, but I figured this was girl was just one of hundreds trying desperately to make it and never succeeding. My life went on, and it never really occurred to me to look up this girl and see how she was doing, partially because I was busy with a serious relationship. Out of the blue, a few months ago she sent me a CD in the mail -- autographed, saying: "To Kyle Samsonsanssky.. I loved you first - Regina."

So now I do a google search and it turns out, wow, this girl got really popular. Even cooler than that, she wrote a song about that night! It's called Samson, and when I heard it for the first time, it brought back lots of memories.

Sadly, I've gotten married in those in-between years, so nothing will come of it. But I wrote her a nice letter telling her what's happened since that night, and telling her how happy I was that she had gotten so popular. I hope to hear back from her eventually.

sweeperbravo posted:

What the gently caress is Clep

MindlessHavok posted:

Forget the ADA thing, wouldn't it be hugely illegal for a previous employer to provide that kind of information? As I understood it, aren't they only able to confirm or deny the person worked there and if they did verify the dates?

Postal Parcel posted:

I think the implication is that they weren't going to New York but flew over Canada where gay marriage is presumably legal so that they could be real married for all of 5 minutes.
(Is it not legal in NY? I mean, aside from SanFrancisco, New York is the next place where I think gay marriage would have been legal)

Roro posted:

Roger Rabbit is pretty horrifying in parts. The cartoon shoe being dissolved, and the ever famous "When I killed your brother, I talked just... like... THIIIIIIIIS!"

Khazar-khum posted:

(The boy takes the guitar, and plays the entirely wrong note.)

Girl: “Wrong note! Try again.”

(He tries again, trying to remember the positioning in the video. He fails again.)

quote:

It was making me really insecure, which is something I had never been before. I couldn't believe how I was feeling about myself. All this crazy "girl" thoughts I had never had kept swirling around in my head.