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TheObserver posted:I'm just trying to imagine what "urban cheese" would be even made from; rat's milk? I was trying to figure that out too. I know the US is incredibly hosed up re cheeses so maybe it is rat milk?
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Nov 12, 2014 03:54
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Fathis Munk posted:Have an intentional stdh.jpg I think it's meant to be a response to this one, e: entitled "A baby just handed me this on my flight. I ain't mad.":  I like the one from Adolf Einstein Carl Degrasse Nye better though. CROWS EVERYWHERE has a new favorite as of 05:03 on Dec 13, 2014 |
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Dec 13, 2014 04:15
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bringmyfishback posted:Boy, I bet that guy ate the whole chocolate-covered pizza without even realizing that it was white chocolate and not cheese! Because those things taste SO similar! Wait, are they pizzas or pies? 
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Dec 30, 2014 10:42
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Noyemi K posted:I think you're being facetious but "pie" is another way of referring to a pizza. This must be an Americanism I've never encountered before. In Australia, this is a pizza:  And this is a pie:  I've literally never heard "pie" used to refer to a pizza. That's almost as weird as calling scones "biscuits". I also agree that white chocolate on a pizza could, theoretically, be tasty. I've seen worse pizza topping combinations. e: whoa that's a big pizza
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Dec 30, 2014 13:00
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oldpainless posted:when the moon hits your eye I've heard the phrase "pizza pie" and always assumed it was referring to pizza pockets or something (white and round like a moon or the white of an eye, with a bit bitten out to make the iris). But hearing deep dish pizzas referred to as "pies" is weird enough, let alone referring to standard American flat pizzas as pies... It's not right, I tell you. 
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Dec 30, 2014 14:02
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In actual content (hope this hasn't already been posted): earlier this month, a lone gunman held up a cafe/chocolate shop in Sydney, Australia. I'm not sure if it made much of an impact in international news. Either way, two hostages ended up dying, and the gunman was killed. Among his demands were to have an IS flag brought to him and to talk to the Prime Minister. From what I recall he didn't actually have any real connections to IS, though they've retroactively claimed him as one of their own. Anyway, this, in various forms popped up on quite a few people's Facebooks and in news article comments:  Yes, it's a repurposed 9/11 meme  There also seem to be quite a few people whose dad's friend/cousin's fiancee/aunt's teacher did a small kindness to a Muslim gentleman who then decided to warn them of a vague event happening sometime in December or January. Needless to say many cops and other officials had to remind people that this did not, in fact, happen.It's heartening at least that most people have been very good about this whole incident and realise it's the act of one hosed-up guy and not indicative of the Muslim community at large. 
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Dec 30, 2014 14:17
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Zaphod42 posted:That's not a pie, that's a pot pie. sweeperbravo posted:Yeah. You're on the phone with the pizza dude, "I'd like a large pie, half plain, half sausage" etc.  hosed up if true.Oh well, I guess this will be useful to know if I ever go to America. Next you'll be telling me you call chazzwazzas "bullfrogs" or some such nonsense.
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Dec 31, 2014 00:45
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Wandle Cax posted:If you ever go to America, CROWS EVERYWHERE, what a pizza is called will be the least of your concerns. That's true, the US is terrifying. 
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Dec 31, 2014 07:22
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ZenMaster posted:http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/01/what-its-like-to-date-your-dad.html I've seen it being posted as fact on news.com.au, Australia's premier Newscorp website and renowned purveyor of STDH.txt (they were big on the three-boobs-lady back when). I really really hope it's not true because 
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Jan 18, 2015 03:52
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Yeah, those scars linked kind of don't really add up to the story. I've got much worse scars and that's just from being a kid who grew up in the country (including some sweet-rear end barbed wire scars on arms, my brother has four big lines from the same across his face). Somehow, I'd expect a Marine who survived getting a "nearly severed right leg" to be a bit more roughed up. And, uh, a bit more athletic looking.
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Jan 24, 2015 14:12
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In addition to my sick-rear end barbed wire scars on my neck, hands, and forearm (got catapulted out of a friend's homemade five-man bicycle/go-kart contraption into the fence - my brother did the same some weeks later, twice), I also have a nice scar on the palm of my right hand from when I got  Lots of scars on my knees and shins from being clumsy, doing lots of bike riding and wearing impractical footwear as a kid (and generally not bothering to get them looked at so I just came back home or into school and bled happily on the floor until a horrified teacher sent me to the sick bay). One of my most recent knee scars had a better story behind it. I skinned my knee on the concrete top of a storm water drain walking home from the library (staying with my parents during the summer holidays, working in the library and looking after chooks) because as usual I was wearing shoes that look nice but have no grip. It was pretty gross and bloody and refused to stop bleeding so I actually put a whole bunch of bandaids on it for once. Eventually it was healed up enough that I let it go bandaid-less at night to let it harden up/heal by exposure to air, but then forgot to reapply bandaids the next morning before going up to release the chickens for the day. One of the chooks, Alecto, came running joyously out of her pen, then stopped suddenly... Looked at me, looked very hard at my knee, looked back at me... And then lunged, and took a chunk right out of me. (I saw her swallow something and there was blood on her beak.) There was a lot of swearing involved and for the rest of the day Alecto followed me around in her "hunting" posture. Anyway, the rest of the wound healed up all right, but there's still a mark there where a chicken ate my flesh. 
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Jan 26, 2015 05:59
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dijon du jour posted:So... he is the manager and he fired... himself? I think it's just a typo.
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Jan 26, 2015 07:05
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Yeah, if they're both young white guys, that sounds pretty accurate to what goes on around the places I grew up. Cops are idiots and very willing to let you off if you let them have a turn at whatever vaguely illegal poo poo you're doing and you promise you won't do it again.
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Jan 31, 2015 06:22
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kazil posted:Not to defend a terrible story, but it's likely the same class all day, with the day broken up into different periods. This is how my elementary school experience was. I was thinking that too until I reread it and it says specifically that she's a Social Studies teacher. Unless it's normal in the US for one entire day to be devoted to an entire subject? We used to have that one day a fortnight at one school I went to because it was the latest in ~*~college style~*~ teaching or something. gently caress I hated PE Line Day because I'm a goonlord.
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Mar 20, 2015 02:59
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ajkalan posted:According to Snopes, this is embellished but more or less shit_that_did_happen.jpg. Still very That actually happened?  Starting your Military History class with a big dramatic demonstration about "Respect are soldiers dying for are freedoms!" is really loving creepy. In what kind of country is that -- oh wait, it's from Arkansas. Carry on!
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Mar 20, 2015 03:03
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tho
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That one's bland enough that I'm willing to believe it happened. Still no idea why they thought it'd be worth the effort uploading it to the internet.
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Apr 16, 2015 04:28
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Bobby Digital posted:Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but from what I hear from my teacher friends this one isn't unrealistic. Yeah, this is my experience too. You get tonnes of "But my child is an angel at home! They would never cheat/punch another kid/punch a teacher/punch a computer/punch a dog/etc" incidents, and they just get an extra level of crazy when the parents are fundies of one type or another.
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Apr 29, 2015 08:39
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Along with the old standard "I don't see why you think my grade 5 kid is reading at a grade 1 level, look at this essay they just wrote at home *produces an essay in the parent's handwriting*"
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Apr 29, 2015 08:40
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poo poo That Did Happen posted:Genetically Modified Turkey
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Apr 30, 2015 09:21
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 It's an edit!
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Apr 30, 2015 09:38
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sweeperbravo posted:Not in the quote of you, weirdly, unless I'm missing a joke here Yeah, I'm not sure how that happened as I didn't even preview the post before posting it, much less posted the original then edited it. 
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Apr 30, 2015 13:54
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I can confirm that not all Australian schools will have someone who is able to administer an EpiPen, especially poor underfunded state schools. Sauce: my mum is a teacher and isn't allowed to stab kids.
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May 6, 2015 13:43
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Either way, the important thing to gather from that tale is that they had to censor "the d*** phone". Two possibilities exist: either NAR is being its usual laughably over-reactive self, or the sister is actually trying to talk to her daughter's school over the dickphone.
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May 6, 2015 14:43
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Gridlocked posted:This is from a long time ago, but I am sure there are people who haven't seen it. Okay, I consider it A Good Thing that I'm no longer hip with the latest 4chan slang... But why the gently caress does he keep talking about Adobe Reader? Does that mean something else now?
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May 6, 2015 14:50
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bobjr posted:Here's one of those dumb meme comics that are more popular than they should be. I remember this from high school on 4chan (I got better). But the variations I remember she bit his dick off and it was told to an ambulance worker or something.
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May 17, 2015 05:03
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Luckyellow posted:Sadly, but this could had happened. There are plenty of bureaucratic office in poor neighborhood (H.U.D., Social welfare, etc) that's filled with sticklers for the rules type of people. I've seen a mentally retarded blind woman get rejected for a reduced monthly bus pass because she couldn't present her disability ID (Which is required to be filled out with a doctor note.) Her handler had to explain it to her and walk her out Yeah, I live in Australia and there are lots of people at Centrelink who would demand REAL proof that you're proper disabled before doing anything at all, including obvious amputees in wheelchairs. The other two are stupid but I'm pretty convinced the first one is real, sadly. e: My uncle is in a wheelchair (polio as a babby) and quite clearly needs it, but so many people are convinced he's making it up if he tries to claim disability-related perks in person (like just at loving cafes and the like) without immediately producing a doctor's note in triplicate and medical records from the past 60 years. CROWS EVERYWHERE has a new favorite as of 01:46 on Jul 4, 2015 |
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Jul 4, 2015 01:43
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Murdering and eating a teenager, now that's bad. But what's really Satanic is forcing them to drink alcohol.
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Jul 12, 2015 03:48
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Needing more anaesthetic than a regular person is definitely possible, whether due to being a massive goonlord, or just a greater genetic tolerance to common anaesthetics (my dad has red hair and fair skin/freckles and apparently this is one of the contributing factors to why he's usually so unresponsive to most anaesthetics and is something I should look out for?). Breaking the arms off the chair, probably less likely to have actually happened.
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Jul 14, 2015 04:23
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NESguerilla posted:Image macros are terrible but that penguin one is some next level garbage. The source picture isn't even humorous and since my only context is this thread I can only assume it's just an outlet for the lamest humble brag possible. If I remember my advice animals correctly, the blue penguin thing is Socially Awkward Penguin, which is for when you do stupid terrible awkward nerd things in public that absolutely need to be turned into memes. Like when the cashier at the cinema says "Enjoy your movie!" and you reply "Thanks, you too." Everyone feels much better as a person knowing that this happened to you. The red penguin is uhhhhh I can't remember but it's when you do awesome things that AREN'T socially awkward, basically. Very rarely used except when you do half blue penguin and half red penguin, like this, where you start out doing something stupid and awkward but somehow turn it around into what I believe is called an  "Epic Win". And yes, it's pretty much always used for humblebrags.Advice animals and other image macros are possibly the stupidest things to ever exist. At least baby snot sucking devices exist because babies have hosed up noses and poo poo. Image macros have no reason for being.
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Jul 17, 2015 07:33
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Postal Parcel posted:When a guy says you have 'the tightest pussy short of a 12 year old,' you need to call the police. I've had guys who try to use this or similar on me or women around me. They think they're being quirky and zany, when in actuality they come off as... well, a paedophile. It usually works as a great "steer well clear of this creepazoid" early warning alert.
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Jul 18, 2015 04:17
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sweeperbravo posted:I just don't understand the logic as a pick up tactic. Why would anyone (who wasn't a pedophile, we'll add that qualifier) want to bring 12 year olds up in any conversation regarding sex unless it was that they DIDN'T want to have it and were afraid of eventually having one. In at least a couple of cases they were absolute nerds who had only ever been to all-boy schools, and university or a job was literally the first place they'd been where they were able to openly interact sexually with girls. So they hadn't learnt that making "jokes" about impregnating you, comparing you to a child, or "I like my coffee like I like my women - ground up and stored in the freezer" was, uhhh, not actually funny and really kind of creepy.
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Jul 18, 2015 05:04
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Sentient Data posted:Redditor spotted Just an Australian  We use the UK spelling here. Or at least I do.
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Jul 18, 2015 05:41
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Postal Parcel posted:Buy Hannibal Brand Coffee Not the worst serial killer crush to come out of tumblr. (Those would be the numerous actual IRL serial killer fetishists.)
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Jul 18, 2015 05:54
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I'd believe that. I've had weird teachers who would bust that kind of question out and have had more than a few who could have got arrested for growing weed. It's kind of cool that they have a basic Nursing class in junior high school either way.
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Jul 23, 2015 12:27
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Samizdata posted:Solidsports. Why I know this term is sad. What in the absolute gently caress is solidsports?
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Jul 30, 2015 06:56
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Jonny Nox posted:it's related to watersports isn't it? Gassports 
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Jul 30, 2015 07:13
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Samizdata posted:They've got it, unfortunately. Jesus loving wept. Now I know the term for this. Thanks, loser.
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Jul 30, 2015 15:52
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That's a little bit hosed up. Oh America!
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Jul 31, 2015 06:50
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poo poo That Did Happen posted:About six months ago my wife and I decided to turn our North Georgia summer retreat into our full-time residence.
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Aug 4, 2015 06:44
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queserasera posted:It's STDH. Librarians never pick a social venue that doesn't serve alcohol. Perhaps the paraprofessionals do quirky hipster things. Degreed librarians drink. A lot. I'm doing my Masters of IT(LIS) right now and, yeah, librarians who have their actual degrees do a lot of drinking. I was thinking it was just the people I worked with, but it turns out it's every librarian. It helps with being a combined babysitter, council representative, psychologist, technical support officer, events planner, drunk wrangler, etc etc etc.
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Aug 4, 2015 07:39
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