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Veskit posted:I'm assuming he had something going on with intense chick so there's that, If Intense Chick is named Debra and is played by Jennifer Carpenter then that's his sister. Note that I did not specifically say you were wrong. Great review btw. It may interest you to know that that finale is one of the last good episodes. SHVPS4DETH fucked around with this message at 04:05 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 04:00
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SHUPS 4 DETH posted:If Intense Chick is named Debra and is played by Jennifer Carpenter then that's his sister. Note that I did not specifically say you were wrong. Yes, wait, his sister? Then why does she not know his mom? Or what? Why would she not...  Yeah the finale, I dunno. I just know that next review I'll be more specific and try to draw up the scenes better because a lot of my words were sporadic if you're not watching along. Also at some point someone needs to explain why this show is good, because it's like... not? Or is it only this seemingly bad because I have no idea what's going on.
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May 23, 2014 04:17
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Veskit posted:Yes, wait, his sister? Then why does she not know his mom? Or what? Why would she not... His adopted sister. Dexter's mom was murdered when he was a baby and he was founded by the police/Debra's dad covered in his mothers blood.
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May 23, 2014 04:20
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Dias: Potato Star Episode 113 Okay, so when I got assigned this, I made two immediate mental notes. The first one was the ironic coincidence of a guy named Irish Joe assigning me a potato-related television show. Probably intentional on his part, but hey, I'll take the easy opening paragraph joke. The second one was "gently caress, this show has a hundred-plus episodes, so it's either a children's show or a soap opera and both will be hard to review". Lo and behold, Potato Star fit into the second category...with a twist. It's a Korean soap-opera! (Was it The Genius' mention? Or just a random pick from the Hulu catalogue?) Since this is a Hulu-available show, of course, Hulu kindly provided me with a short summary of the series just so I wouldn't be totally lost: Hulu posted:A comet that falls onto earth in 2013 and causes all sorts of weird things to start happening to the Noh family and their neighbors. ...thanks? I guess that meant I'd have to go in totally blind, even if "weird" made me expect fantastic, alien or supernatural elements. Spoilers: I didn't get anything fantastic, alien or supernatural. Quite sad, really. The show opens at the Noh family's household, with a girl walking in and overhearing a woman say her oldest son's birthday is tomorrow. That catches her attention and she idles by just enough to be chewed at by this fancy-dressed young gentleman. As expected of fancy-dressed young Asian gentlemen, dude acts the prick, telling her to go to work and reacting to her "oh, so I'll see you there?" with a "goddamnit of course you will you dense...". Such a cock. As soon as he steps out the door, we cut to a completely different place with three completely different people. Timeout. We're less than a minute in and we've already changed our focus, with six people getting screentime and lines. Holy poo poo. Full disclosure, I had to watch this episode twice to actually understand who's who and how they are connected to one another, because there's about ten characters involved in the "A" and "B"-plots. Even if they are very simple to grasp, it's a flood of information and the Korean names didn't help. Anyway, those three are incompetent bad guys trying to embezzle money from the company where they work - an old director, a fat dude in a garish lime-green jacket and a secretary-type girl. They were caught once and now their boss is keeping a close watch on them, so they discuss how to get some of the heat off them for now. The girl gets indignant at the idea of lying low, but ends up having to suck up to the president...who, surprise surprise, is the fancy rear end in a top hat from before! He acts like a phallus to her, but now he's at least justified in doing so. Hey, guess what? It's yet another different group of people! Three in two minutes! Eight characters! gently caress me! Anyway, these are Mina and Julien, whose names I've memorized because they're easy. Mina is a Korean(?) weeaboo, and she's making a cosplay costume. Julien is her boyfriend and as a hot-blooded American, he doesn't subscribe to this "anime" thing. She wants to go to her nerd cosplay thing on the weekend, but Julien wanted to have a Real American Picnic instead. Probably a barbecue, with burgers and beer and loud country music. But she's going to the ATDRW event regardless, so she invites Julien to go with her, maybe even put on his CAPTAIN AMERICA costume - this ain't a joke. Julien, again, acts like a true American and tells her cosplay is dumb and she's dumb. Mina gets mad and leaves Julien alone with his Coors Lights for the evening to go watch some yaoi or something  The fancy young rear end in a top hat president is a dude called Noh Min-hyuk, and he's the CEO of a toy company. During a board meeting, he proposes the development of a portable flying object...which is bad-subtitle-speak for a goddamn jetpack. Turns out the idea came from the young girl he chewed off at the start of the episode. We learn in a flashback that she wants to make a goddamn jetpack so she can fly high and maybe meet her dad up there. All of a sudden, I'm not so sympathetic towards her anymore. Min-hyuk, apparently suffering from a mild-to-severe concussion judging by the bandages in his head, makes a promise to help her achieve that dream one day. That's why he raises the topic, which is met with a polite "sir, this is idiotic" reply. Still, he puts it on the R&D queue. I'm not sure what type of Starcraft build order rushes for jetpacks or I'd make a Starcraft joke here. In fact, I'm not even sure if SC even has jetpacks. Meanwhile, the delirious jetpack girl is trying to find a gift for Min-hyuk. What do you give to the man who has everything? I have no idea either, but while she brainstorms with her boyfriend (?) one of the board members leaks to the girl that he fielded her stupid idea to everyone. Then she's called to a meeting with Min-hyuk, where he talks about his idea for a toy being something that holds and values someone's attention, and also requires personal investment. Not at all something that'll come into play this episode, no siree. During the meeting, he ends up soaking his planner with water and Delirious Jetpack Girl offers to dry it for him when she gets home. He accepts the offer and also offers her a ride home. They chat about her boyfriend (?) leaving to study abroad and Min-hyuk's birthday coming soon. He asks the girl if she wants to buy him a present and before she says anything he goes "then buy me a convertible I have no use for anything else". Because, as established before, he's a twat. But he softens up and says the chocolates she gave him for Valentine's Day were enough, proving he's a twat alright, but a twat with a heart of twat. I mean, gold. Jumping back to Julien's b-plot, he gets a call from an American friend telling him he has to return to America for reasons. Now, it's very hard to tell when someone's a bad actor if you don't grasp their language, but thankfully Julien gets to have a full conversation in English and drat he's bad. Mina also gets a call about her father back in Japan and it's something real bad. Our real American realizes anime can't stand in the way of him and Mina I hope you weren't bored of "new" characters because right after that scene, we got two more to introduce. It's Sooyoung, Min-hyuk's sister (?), and her musician boyfriend (?)! Min-hyuk cancelled his birthday party at a restaurant so Sooyoung is sad she doesn't get to feed her boyfriend with fancy stuff. She suggests they should buy him some nice stuff with her family allowance, and musician dude gets mad and plays guitar really loud. That's something you actually do if you're mad and play guitar, I can attest to that. Being broke and mad you have to spend money on other people is also something you do if you play guitar or have any music-related jobs at all, so this show gets extra points for realism. Min-hyuk gets back home and they have this little family birthday party, which is a cute thing. Did you know South Korea also sings the staple Happy Birthday to You song? Apparently it's almost universal, because it's the same melody here in Brazil too. We got better lyrics tho. They were written in a radio contest held in 1942 and haven't changed at all until then. It's a pretty silly tidbit. Anyway, do you know what else never changes? Soap opera camera angles. Red Letter Media gave the Star Wars prequels poo poo for having a lot of scenes where people are sitting and talking with little to no movement or attempts at doing something different. Well, that's an INCREDIBLY soap-y thing to do, even more so than with multi-cam sitcoms. When you need to write and edit a hundred-plus episodes while your series is ongoing and gets multiple episodes a day, you need to take shortcuts. So 90% of conversations are held in a confined space, with two people standing or sitting still and a basic three-camera setup: close on P1's face, close on P2's face, wide shot of the room. Potato Star does this quite a lot and I was glad to see that even going overseas, soaps never change. During the little birthday party, Min-hyuk learns that Sooyoung is super-broke and selling her purses to make cash. So we have three little gift-subplots running in parallel. Jetpack Girl - my new indie voxel roguelike, on Steam Greenlight right now - spends the whole night making Min-hyuk a new planner. Literally, she copies everything from the ruined one to new pages, makes a neat leather cover with his name engraved, little drawings, the whole thing. It's amazing dedication and shows she's got to have some feelings for him. The last little subplot is Team Rocket LITERALLY buying the dude a car and being completely ignored because they woke him up super-early and gently caress that. They're comedy relief thru and thru. Before I go into fast-forward mode because this poo poo's way too long already, let me tell you how the Julien-Mina subplot ends. They meet, he dresses up as Cap and Mina goes Black Widow to match him, they run around in a super-cheesy scene, win the "Best Couple Award" and then talk about their travel problems. Julien invites her to go to America with him, but her dad is dying in Japan so she needs to go there too. Usually in a soap that would lead into ten episodes of needless conflict, but they actually understand each other's side. Turns out they are starcrossed lovers, always meeting on and off before circumstances split them apart. So they choose to rely on destiny again and decide to meet up at the same place one year from now if they still have feelings for each other. As someone that didn't go thru all the other breakups, it was a pretty sweet moment and the lack of unnecessary melodrama plus the quick resolution wasn't something I expected, so I was pleasantly surprised. Anyway, Jetpack Girl (Jin-Ah) finishes the gift and hands it over to the boss. Then, his sister gives him a new wallet with a fat stack of cash in it, but since he knows she's broke, he goes after her and manages to slip it back into her pocket. He checks out his new planner and is touched as poo poo because it shows effort and caring and well you get the drill. But staying up all night took a toll on Jin-Ah and she faints from exhaustion. Girl, I've pulled 48h shifts in college. You are S-A-W-F-T. They get her to the hospital, and Min-hyuk goes to check on her because aww, he also cares. He has a quick conversation with Jin-Ah where he shows his appreciation and then leaves her and her boyfriend to recover. I'm assuming this is a love-triangle. Then it literally ends on a freeze-frame like these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioY0Oz7G1gE. Even the style is the same and it made me laugh very hard for the first time. Overall, it was a soap-opera, and soaps are the same regardless of where you are. I wanted to compare it to the ones Brazil gets on primetime since 1930, but a single episode on a void doesn't make for great material for analysis. It was unoffensive, the acting was wooden, and I still don't get what a Potato Star is, or what the hell is that triangle plastic-wrapped edible thing. It's the second best thing from Korea I watched this month, I suppose. (you really, really, really should go watch The Genius, it's engrossing as hell and an example of gameshow done right) Dias fucked around with this message at 04:32 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 04:26
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Veskit posted:Yeah the finale, I dunno. I just know that next review I'll be more specific and try to draw up the scenes better because a lot of my words were sporadic if you're not watching along. Also at some point someone needs to explain why this show is good, because it's like... not? Or is it only this seemingly bad because I have no idea what's going on. It's not good. It was never good but it tricked us into thinking it was good for four seasons and it was only the season after this that the spell was broken and we started to realize the truth.
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May 23, 2014 04:37
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Regy Rusty posted:It's not good. It was never good but it tricked us into thinking it was good for four seasons and it was only the season after this that the spell was broken and we started to realize the truth. OK good I'm not the crazy one. I'm going to eat dinner then tackle the series finale, BUT I wont post anything about it until Ravane gets through it. Scratch that thought it'd be easier to stream bleh. Veskit fucked around with this message at 04:54 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 04:51
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X-Men: Evolution - Season 3, Episode 8: "Self Possessed" ANNAKIE DON'T READ THIS. I was a huge comics fan growing up, but I will admit the X-Men were always something I only learned of via friends, because they are a hideous mess, by and large. Still, any episode that seems to focus on Rogue, probably one of the more interesting concepts among the main mutants, is cool by me. The cold open tells us quickly via her having migraines and lashing out, and her mothers* discussing that ROGUE MAY DIE SOON, SO SAY MY VISIONS, that we're in for a rough week in her life or something. Then the titles roll and they are godawful. Stock footage (and not even impressive footage!) with names of characters appearing at the bottom in a jarringly out of place font, then X-MEN: EVOLUTION.  Oh, wait, self-POSSESSED, not self-ABSORBED. Crap. The kickoff of the episode is one of those "it happens in every medium" stories - Jean Grey is about to go on a date with Scott "Cyclops" Summers, blah blah, there is a concert in town tonight. It seems like a lack of Gambit in this version of the team means Rogue's desperate craving for companionship has latched onto Scott instead, she seems really, really messed up by that revelation (as fellow student Kitty Pryde cheers Jean on loudly in her ear).  Gonna throw this out there: for someone who is a power/life/memory-leech with skin-on-skin contact, the open-shouldered top that leaves a bare midriff + backless-gloves combo seems like a TERRIBLE IDEA, Rogue. It looks like this version of her is the 'keeps all stolen powers permanently' variety, because another migraine has her Shadowcat through the door to the ladies' room, where another student/old friend of hers has just returned from England. The two are talking and another flash suddenly turns a water fountain into a Pink Floyd concert, culminating in an exploding nozzle and Rogue fleeing from her peers. The friend catches up to her and she gets the quick scoop on how Rogue's powers work: if she touches a person, most humans will end up comatose (mutants take longer contact for that risk) as their memories and feelings transfer into her, and any mutants get their powers similarly jacked - but the latter recover a hell of a lot faster. So of course, her friend goes "We should totally go to that concert tonight" right after hearing "MY TOUCH IS A DESTRUCTIVE FORCE".  Oh my god get out of the mosh pit people are going to die D: Rogue is, despite my joking here, actually supremely uncomfortable being in the middle of the crowd, and tries to get away before everything goes to hell: someone falls over, grabbing at her and tearing her sleeve in the process, and then dudes get jostled into her and there's just a CHAIN OF  Oh, and I guess her best friend who went to England was actually Mystique in disguise. At this point, completely tripping balls, Rogue just starts shapeshifting like mad, flipping through forms and memories until she goes Sabretooth and charges the stage. I'll give the show credit here: the actual action is pretty well done, with her leaping onto the band's equipment and surfing down a collapsing pile of speakers, Jean stopping them with telekinesis and Nightcrawler teleporting onto one (to teleport it away from people who would be crushed) without it skipping a beat, as "Sabretooth" smashes through the lighting and rides it down... etc. The problem is, all her teammates do not know she's in the crowd, and so in trying to stop "him", they tend to touch her or use full power, and her response to this is to turn into an even harder to damage foe: the Juggernaut. The next sequence is her basically flipping through villain powers/forms to escape the concert, then the cops, and finally collapse in a filthy alleyway, sobbing. Mystique finds her, and tells her that if she sorts through her stolen memories, she'll know Mystique is her (adopted, in this world) mother. But she doesn't, instead fleeing, and then smelling Wolverine, going all Sabretooth again. Cue the middle chunk of this episode being a lot of shenanigans. Rogue continues to trip the power cosmic and defeats her entire team with their own powers, leading to the incredibly reasonable tactics of Wolverine: "Everyone else get out of here, I take a beating a lot better than you kids." Iceman flings him into the air and I wish to god I could record the sounds he makes. It's this growling, slobbering mess. Hilarious. Then Xavier just blows up all the extra personalities in her head. That probably should have been done a while ago. I really enjoyed the concept of this, a thought-thief struggling with schizophrenia, but the ending was a pretty big letdown despite the better-than-expected animation. Also: am I correct in that this show was pretty serialized? The ending basically glosses over her problems and recovery to go "HEY SO APOCALYPSE IS GONNA SHOW UP THAT'LL BE A THING". * I should probably explain this one because it's one of those 'cool idea, mangled execution' things that sums up a lot of X-Men to me: apparently the original plan was that shapeshifter Mystique and seer Destiny were lovers, and Rogue's parents, because what the hell is gender to a shapeshifter? I think it eventually became "Mystique's her mom, Destiny was just an ex-lover" or something. Notes:
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May 23, 2014 11:49
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It's been a while, but IIRC they actually mention that Destiny specifically steered her into the goth subculture, since the fashion sense would help hide her power. And yeah, the show was serialised more and more in the later seasons. Season 3 ended with an Apocalypse-based storyline (and a huge cocktease for episodes we'd never get). Just be glad you never got the Bayville Sirens episode. That's all I'm saying.
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May 23, 2014 12:01
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Kaboom Dragoon posted:It's been a while, but IIRC they actually mention that Destiny specifically steered her into the goth subculture, since the fashion sense would help hide her power. And yeah, the show was serialised more and more in the later seasons. Season 3 ended with an Apocalypse-based storyline (and a huge cocktease for episodes we'd never get). Is that the one with Jean, Kitty, Rogue and Boom-Boom going all BAD GRRRL on a night out?
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May 23, 2014 12:20
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Gaz-L posted:Is that the one with Jean, Kitty, Rogue and Boom-Boom going all BAD GRRRL on a night out? And then there's a musical number in the middle for no goddamn reason. That was certainly an episode, yes.
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May 23, 2014 12:43
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I'm not really a TVIV regular but this whole concept seems like way too much fun to just pass up, plus I always like broadening my horizons! Someone recommend me something, preferably something obscure--I haven't at all seen a lot of television, and what I have seen is mostly comedies (seinfeld, Always Sunny, Bob's Burgers, Louie, etc) so. Something obscure, maybe something drama-y. Whatever it is, I can find it. Hit me with your best goddamn shot.
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May 23, 2014 14:12
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Barfing Cumlord posted:I'm not really a TVIV regular but this whole concept seems like way too much fun to just pass up, plus I always like broadening my horizons! Someone recommend me something, preferably something obscure--I haven't at all seen a lot of television, and what I have seen is mostly comedies (seinfeld, Always Sunny, Bob's Burgers, Louie, etc) so. Something obscure, maybe something drama-y. Whatever it is, I can find it. The Man From UNCLE, season 1, episode 5, "The Deadly Games Affair". Assuming it's cool for me to pitch one before I've done mine, that is?
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May 23, 2014 14:19
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Power Rangers Dino Thunder Episode 19 Lost and Found in Translation This was the best suggestion I've had from this thread yet and I really suggest you go watch the original episode before you read this review. Ok, done? Cool. Moving on... So this was a bottle episode where three of the kids watch the Japanese version of Power Rangers on television. Yeah, you read that right. The vast majority of the episode is just an episode of the original version of the show with a dub that, while clearly played for humour, is nonetheless accurate to the plot of the episode (at least according to Senerio). And even despite the origins it's crazier than you'd expect. This is basically the Power Rangers version of Hausu. We open on two of the Power Rangers - Ethan, basically the Dino Thunder Zack, and Kira, the Dino Thunder Kimberly, watching TV in their living room. Conner (Dino Thunder Jason) walks in and they tell him how they got a new satellite dish with over 900 channels. He kinda chastises them for wasting their time watching TV and says he has to finish a social studies assignment about comparing two countries, which is the most lazy-rear end assignment ever. They convince him to sit down and then stumble upon the Japanese version of the show, and the whole meta thing happens for a second before they decide to watch. The episode begins with the Japanese rangers sitting around in robes making curry. One of them brings in an article about a visiting American baseball player named "Whacker Wilson", prompting complaints about American sportsmen (and Americans in general) being greedy. Conner complains about the show but the others convince him. In fact, I'm gonna save some time - most of the American scenes are Conner complaining about it, and then slowly getting into it and punching the air at the end. The Japanese villains hatch their latest scheme, which involves bad hair in some way. One of the Power Rangers makes a fruit curry that makes another one sick, before the emergency alarm flashes. They go to fight a monster called Ka-Ching, which is (this is a direct quote) a combination of "mushroom, bear and ATM machine". The mushroom seems to be because of the bad haircut it gives to people, which makes them greedy. I didn't know you could call a bowl cut a mushroom cut, so thanks for the unnecessary info, Power Rangers. The rangers are almost overpowered but are saved by a mystery figure who uses a bat to rebound one of the monster's mushrooms back at him - it's baseball legend Whacker Wilson! It turns out Whacker cannot play because of a back injury and he's come to Japan looking for the world's best chiropractor, who conveniently turns out to be one of the Power Rangers. He fixes him and Whacker shows off some of that typical American greed!!!! by offering him the chance to become rich, which he turns down because being a Power Ranger is reward enough. The monster attacks Whacker and makes him even greedier, and he ends up trying to forcibly push money into chiropractor ranger's hands while admitting to him how he made his fortune by cheating in a home run derby. It's pretty bizarre. Eventually they realise the monster is affecting everyone and do battle. The monster fires coins at them but they collect it using giant safes and piggy banks (???) until they are full. Whacker shows up again with literal BAGS of money to try and give away now (for someone who has been rendered obsessively greedy, Whacker sure is charitable) which gives one of the rangers a plan. They hurl their piggy bank at Whacker, with the logic that if he really loves baseball more than money, he will instinctively react to something flying towards him by grabbing his bat and hitting it. Inexplicably, this is what happens. The monster is hurt and they morph up and finish it off. The episode ends and Conner is like "that was cool!" and then writes his paper on the differences between American and Japanese culture, which was kind of cute. Then at the end they're sitting on the sofa again and as it zooms out tons of other kids start walking by. How many people live in this apartment? Final thoughts: this is the kind of thing I came into this thread wanting. It was extremely odd and fun and bucked my expectations completely. The episode of the Japanese show had a satisfyingly weird plot (Whacker Wilson was loving fantastic), and the dub was funny, poking fun at the original show without ever mocking it. I recommend this! Escobarbarian fucked around with this message at 22:10 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 21:33
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Teen Titans - Season 1, Episode 10: "Mad Mod" Funny story: I straight up skipped this cartoon when it first aired because of a fuckup at Comic-Con: there was a panel that covered Justice League and Teen Titans both, the latter coming first out of the duo. Then the Japanese duo who did the theme song were 20 minutes late. I want you to imagine your first introduction to the series is an unfinished version of this theme song on loop for 20-something minutes without interruption: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWaWvQuIVMI ...and then try to find yourself even remotely interested in going near the show after that debacle. Anyway the show begins with everyone locked down in manacled chairs and HOLY poo poo THAT'S MALCOLM MCDOWELL'S VOICE COMING OUT OF THAT DRUNK BRIT  I'm not kidding, it's actually him, I checked No but really the only saving grace of this episode is him chewing all the scenery, just whacking the captive heroes upside the head every time they interrupt his monologuing, and spitting out lines like "You see, I'm older than you, so I'm bigger, badder, and better."  There are some fun visuals, though. Nods to Escher as well. Otherwise, basically the instant you see what his plan is (hypnotize the kids to... I don't know if he ever says, actually), you know where this is going. Robin gets free, has to free the others, they all chase Malcolm around a bunch. There is seriously no more plot to the episode than this and there are 3 entire Scooby-Doo style chase scenes, although one does at least play some Alice in Wonderland style tricks with perspective.  Hard to show in a screencap, but he comes out of the door on the left, then suddenly crawls because I guess he's huge now. A tiny Robin later comes out and leaps up onto that door to open it. Turns out it was a computer all along. And Robin is the one who figures it out. This... did not wow me. I'm trying to find something other than the art design to praise here, but when the middle of the show is J-Ska playing over a chase scene that goes nowhere, I really don't have a lot to work with. edit: I thought of some praise - the reveal that no wonder the dude was so obsessed with the 60s/mod culture: in reality he's an old man, it would have been what he grew up on. That clicked with me a minute ago, that's a nice touch. claw game handjob fucked around with this message at 22:36 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 22:20
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Ron Perlman played Deathstroke on that show, too.
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May 23, 2014 22:31
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Ravane: Dexter Series Finale “Remember the Monsters” Link Before I begin: I don't know much about Dexter other than it is about a serial killer and that the finale was detested by all Dexter fans around the world because Dexter becomes a plumber or a mechanic, I think. My goal is to learn whether the episode itself was terrible plot wise or if it was received terribly by fans because it evoked bad characterization of a person the audience had grown attached to, in a manner reminiscent of the How I Met Your Mother ending. Of course, I could be completely wrong and the episode could be terrible for a variety of factors outside my limited imagination. I simply don't know any better so let's start this before I embarrass myself. The Episode: The episode began with an intro fixated on sanguineous imagery, which reaffirmed my belief that Dexter is a serial killer. It's definitely a memorable opening sequence and is a nice juxtaposition of the familiar and the felonious, innocence with undertones of violence. I skipped the recap to go in blind. The show starts with Dexter, who looks like an older Adam DeVine (Modern Family), and his son running through an airport to catch a flight.  Pictured: the face you'll make at the end of this review. Dexter narrates that he is leaving Miami to go to a start a new life. He is called by a woman named Hannah, presumably unrelated as Dexter's son doesn't refer to her as mom or aunt. She is hiding, in the lady's room, from a man named Elway, possibly a detective. He appears to be the only obstacle to Dexter leaving his old life behind. He tries to formulate a plan and grabs a random assortment of items that would puzzle even McGuyver. It appears to be baby powder, a bottle of transparent liquid, and an alarm clock. He puts them in a backpack, leaves it in a conspicuous area, and warns flight personnel that Elway has abandoned it there purposefully. Clever plan, Dexter. You've evolved from the days of DeeDee. But will a false bomb threat not attract more attention than necessary?  They never explained what the hell this poo poo was for. Elway is escorted out by flight personnel, if he were a detective or any sort of law enforcement officer, he'd have shown his badge. I'm now thinking he's either stupid or not affiliated with the law. Unfortunately Dexter's plan costs him his flight out of Miami. I saw this coming and I'm saying it. Meanwhile, a crime-scene with several dead bodies is being investigated by several Latino policemen. I thought it was worth noting that the head investigator looks like a tall Luis Guzman.  A random woman who has been shot is taken in an ambulance. It's all relatively insignificant. Dexter learns about her being shot, which reveals to me that he is not the one who killed all those people. Dexter arrives at the hospital after sending Hannah away. He talks to Luis Guzman like he's familiar with him, so I'm guessing he does some kind of police work. The woman who has been shot turns out to be his sister. The bald asian guy reassures Dexter that his sister will be alright, but I wish I could say the same for his hair.  Elway is released only to learn that his partner, whom he investigates with, has been killed by the unknown murderer. Scene cuts to Dexter's sister who reveals Dexter was planning on going to Argentina, which is a stupid plan because Argentina has an extradition treaty with the US signed in 1997. quote:Source: http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/71600.pdf Dexter reveals that his sister knew about his hobby as a serial killer, which she is weirdly accepting about, even going so far as to tell him he has nothing to regret and he should just be happy. Apparently, his goal is to get Hannah out of the country, not himself. Perhaps he is not “out on the lam,” as the kids say. So little action has happened but it's been 20 minutes. What the hell. A guy holds up a pet store with a gun to get stitches from some dude, then asks him to give a ride to the hospital, which is redundant because he could have just gone to the hospital in the first place. Dexter sends his son off with Hannah on a bus to Tallahassee, so he can deal with Saxon, the man who shot his sister. The scene cuts to Saxon who cuts the pet store guy's tongue off, after he swears not to talk, in front of the hospital. Dexter “expertly” deduces Saxon has arrived by witnessing this unnatural event unfold. He finds Saxon and goes at him with a fork in his hand. Saxon has a gun. Really, I'm disappointed this buffoonery went unpunished as Luis Guzman saved the day by appearing out of nowhere with a gun and two other cops. However, this feat rewards Dexter only agony, as his sister suffers a major stroke and loses more brain function than a severe Alzheimer's patient. Dexter goes through several flashbacks, possibly symptoms of his own surfacing dementia. It all makes me feel so blasé. The funniest part about this is that the baby looks like it's from the Thumb movies.  Suddenly, Hannah is caught by Elway on the bus. He appears to be some kind of bounty hunter, collecting a reward from turning her in. However, she outwits him by sticking him with HORSE TRANQUILIZER and leaving the bus. Then Dexter enters the prison where Saxon is being kept under the guise of taking his blood. He kills Saxon with a pen in front of a camera in “self-defense” which Guzman just simply accepts.    What a great picture. He then returns to the hospital and kills his sister by shutting off her oxygen. This was sweet and all, but then he takes her out of the hospital in the middle of a hurricane and dumps her body in the ocean.    Look at that solemn stare. Then he drives his boat into the middle of a hurricane to prevent his child and Hannah from being exposed to the monster he is.  The next day the coast guard finds his boat in pieces. Detective Guzman and Hannah find out on the news about his death. Hannah grieves for three seconds and then goes and gets ice cream. The final scene shows Dexter alive and well. He is a lumberjack who owns some of the ugliest wooden furniture I have ever seen. Surely this was the travesty everyone spoke about.  That is one ugly-rear end table. Final thoughts: Perhaps I just don't know about enough about this show, but it felt like there were still several unresolved plots. The biggest of which would probably be resolved if they let Dexter stay dead. The problems stemmed from the plot of the episode, strange actions of side characters as well as Dexter's own vagaries. Why did he kill Saxon in front of a camera, when the police had overwhelming evidence against Saxon already. Why the hell would Detective Luis Guzman just let Dexter go after murdering another guy in cold blood? WHY WOULD HE TAKE HIS SISTER'S BODY AND THROW IT INTO THE OCEAN? Why does he choose to abandon his kid when he has the perfect chance to get a new life? WHO THE HELL DRIVES A BOAT INTO THE MIDDLE OF A HURRICANE AND HOW THE HELL DID HE SURVIVE? Finally, what became of Elway?  It's these questions that lead me to understand that this is not an issue about characterization versus plot development. This is an issue of everything is a freaking issue and this show made no goddamn sense. Thumb baby was the only thing that got me through this endeavor.  Grade: D+ Ravane fucked around with this message at 15:01 on May 24, 2014 |
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May 24, 2014 02:08
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That was great and totally met my expectations. Good job!
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May 24, 2014 06:59
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Just a heads up I'm going to be delayed on getting to the series finale writeup, but I did watch it and have it written down... on a drive I can't access yet! Ravane is pretty spot on.
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May 24, 2014 20:13
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Okay, Hostages. Season 1. Episode 11. It was 40 minutes of TV that confused me at first by throwing all sorts of PREVIOUSLY ON bullshit at me, but by the end of it I think I had a grasp on most of the things that were happening. So. As near as I can tell, there is this guy named Duncan who is part of some team that wants to kill the President. They also have some family held prisoner in their own home for some reason. Like hostages. IT'S THE NAME OF THE SHOW. The conflict in this episode comes from the fact that some bad general wants to kill the president so he can run for president and become president, and if the bad general kills the president before Duncan and his team kill the president, then Duncan and his team don't get paid. OUR PROTAGONISTS, EVERYONE! The general's hit squad is going to get the president while he's in New York, so Duncan and his pals lock the family into a bedroom so they can't... get away? I guess. Later on Duncan lets the mother out so she can help them get building plans for the spots in New York where they think the general's sniper is going to be. So they can plot and stuff. Hell, he even gives her the key to the locked bedroom where the family is and tells her to run free if they mess up and the general kills the president. Why not just cut it and run already? Beats the hell out of me. Another subplot we have going involves some old guy named Bruno. He's trying to get plane tickets to Madrid for him and his granddaughter, but his daughter shows up. Which is surprising because she stayed away from the family for 35 years. Apparantly someone named Kincaid did something bad to their family. And Kincaid is the president. The granddaughter has leukemia and the daughter wants to tell her the truth before she dies, but Bruno won't have it. Hell, he's ready with a hidden silenced pistol in case she decides she still wants to talk, but she decides that she wants to see her daughter instead. Or something like that. This plotline doesn't really go anywhere. Oh yeah, another plotline is that the female member of Duncan's team is spying on them for this other guy. That guy turns out to be working for the president, but also secretly working for the bad general. I dunno what he gets out of the president dying, but okay. He gave the girl money and he's got passports out of the country for her and her son if she does her job and feeds him information to mess up Duncan's plans. I wonder how that will turn out? The mother meets up with some business friend of her husband's, and gets the building plans and helps Duncan figure out where the sniper is. Duncan and his other team member go up to the building but all they find is a spotter. The real sniper is on the ground, pretending to be an electrician. The lady team member and the fourth guy go after him, and she hesitates for a bit because of the double cross deal she made but eventually says the hell with it and shoots the sniper, saving the president. Hooray! Except Duncan still wants to kill the president. And the mother is going to help him do it for... some reason. I guess that's why he has the family hostage, because he needs her to help kill the president. This begs the question "well why does he want to kill the president?". Money? Hell if I know. Also Duncan and the mother kiss, and that's what the AV Club review objected to. Some gross Stockholm Syndrome poo poo added in for shock value, and it ain't even the cliffhanger. The cliffhanger is that Duncan gets kidnapped. Here's the AV Club review. Boy, it really didn't like that kiss. It really didn't like this show. They're not wrong, exactly, but I've seen worse. I've seen the Star Wars Holiday Special. Compared to that, this is tolerable. Not "good" but tolerable. If I had to grade it, I'd give it like a C-. Not an F that wraps around to A again because of how bad it is. Part of that might be because I don't know the whole story with why Duncan is keeping this family hostage, so him and the mother making out isn't nearly as jaw-droppingly offensive as it should be for me. A little bit when you think about it, but I know too little to really hate it. Ehh.
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May 24, 2014 22:35
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The Hostages AV Club reviews are a glorious study of one woman's descent into insanity. And then she had to cover The Following.
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May 24, 2014 22:39
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X-Men: Evolution - Season 3, Episode 8: "Self Possessed" - THE OTHER REVIEW Quick warning - this review contains flashing gifs so scroll past if you're sensitive to such things. What I knew going in: I've seen I think the first two X-men movies and maybe one of the Wolverine movies? I dunno. I also had a friend super into X-men and watched the cartoon that was on like 20 years ago. I don't think this was the same one. So I have a decent idea of what the X-men are all about but I wouldn't call myself like a huge fan. More like a "I'll watch the movies if they're on, I guess" fan. I had a decent idea of who most of the characters were. Recap: So this episode opens with Rogue (I called her Jubilee at first because I couldn't remember her name, whoops) and Scott / Cyclops playing racquetball. Rogue has a huge crush on Scott. Which gets super awkward when Scott reveals he and Jean are going to a concert together that night. Cut to night time and a cat jumps into a car window. Surprise! The cat pulls a McGonnagal and turns into Mystique. Mystique and this other lady talk about how Rogue has a super important destiny but it might not be fulfilled because something terrible is gonna happen to Rogue here soon.  Rogue, playing raquetball all alone now, has some weird flash thingy happen and throws her raquetball through the wall. Pretty sure destroying school equipment is against the rules, young lady.  Back at Rogue's dorm room, she has another freakout before a friend comes and gets her and says they're goign to get a ride to school from Jean. WAIT. So these kids live in one mansion and go to mutant school in another? Or maybe they go to regular school, which seems... irresponsible. Logan / Wolverine asks her what happened to the raquetball racket, too. In the car, Rogue and her annoying friend tease Jean about going to the concert with Scott. WHAT. This is season 3 of this show and Jean isn't dating Scott yet? Wow, slow progress there. Nightcrawler pops in and joins the three teasing Jean. The title credits roll and jfc the music is so generic and the entire thing is so cheesy I had to take a break for an hour before I could force myself to continue, sorry.  At school, a british girl, Christy? meets up with Rogue in the bathroom and they talk about how Christy hasn't been around in awhile. Maybe Christy is a non-mutant? Rogue goes to get a drink of water, flashes, and the water fountain freaks out.  Outside, Christy says they're cool and they should go to the concert that night. At the concert, everyone is listening to Cold Slither. (Somebody please tell me they got that reference without having to look it up, TIA). Various mutants are having a good time. Jean and Scott discuss at length how they are definitely not on a date. Also Jean teases that other girl from the car earlier about being on a date with some boy she's there with. Wow, bitter much, Jean Grey? I thought you were an adult. Christy and Rogue show up, and after some shenannigans, a girl falls off her boyfriend's shoulders, rips Rogue's sleeve off her shirt, and suddnely she's bumping into all sorts of people putting them into comas or whatever. Eventually she bumps into Christy, who turns out to be.... dun dun dun... Mystique!  So then rogue goes on a rampage, turning into like half a dozen different mutants and busting up the concert. Various X-men in attendence save people from dying, I guess. Here's rogue as Sabertooth and Scott totally saving the day.  For awhile Rogue runs away while switching forms and cops and X-men chase her. Eventually she meets up with Mystique, who reveals to her that she's Rogue's adoptive mother! There's a pretty neat Mystique vs Mystique fight.  Wolverine shows up and somehow totally knows that Sabertooth is actually Rogue. And Cyclops and Sabertooth work together. It includes a Cyclops vs. Cyclops fight. Rogue freaks out really badly here and then there's a long sequence where Rogue goes totally rogue and it takes like a whole bunch of X-men working together to take her down. Rogue totally channels Storm, which is pretty cool.  And then she fights Logan. Eventually, Logan talks Rogue down and she collapses in exhaustion after chugging through every mutant she can.   In the hospital, Professor X tells Scott that Rogue is gonna be ok but she has a big battle ahead of her with her mutliple personality thing. Logan has been sitting by her bed the entire time. He gives her a "buck up kiddo!" speech.  Then, Mystique and Destiny talk again and Destiny says Rogue is going to live but an ~~ancient mutant~~ is going to awake and shapen all their destinies. Final thoughts: If I were a fan of the X-men I would probably like this show. But as I'm neither a big fan of it or in the show's age group I'm like "eh, that was decent." I didn't want to watch any more of it, though. Also I'm not sure if the assignement was fair considering that I apparently knew more about the X-men than I thought I did by watching the show. The only thing I'm confused by was if they go to mutant school like in the movies or public school. Also, why hasn't Scott locked things down with Jean yet. Wow. Also, I appreciated the way that Rogue's storyline seemed to be going, that she had close female friends and how the other female characters were treated. I felt like the show was relating just strongly to girls as boys, which was pretty awesome. So I'd definitely reccomend it to people who wanted more X-men in their lives. Final Grade: B And now to go back and check out what Syrg Sapphire had to say! (Thanks for the warning at the top of your review, btw!) Annakie fucked around with this message at 18:18 on May 25, 2014 |
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May 25, 2014 18:11
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Oh yeah one other quick thing-- If you guys would like to make gifs for your reviews, I use a program called Instagiffer, I think the creator might be a goon since I found it from an ad here on the forums. Anyway, it's free and spyware-free and SO EASY to use. I also made a tutorial video on how to use it that only takes 23 minutes to watch. If you watch your show off of YouTube or you can pull the video straight from the link. If you're watching from something you already have on your computer it reads off of almost any file type. If you're watching online, it has a capture mode. It's super nifty.
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May 25, 2014 18:22
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Requesting a review of Annakie's Instagiffer Tutorial Video.
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May 25, 2014 19:20
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Irish Joe posted:Requesting a review of Annakie's Instagiffer Tutorial Video. Review of Instagiffer Tutorial Video: Informative, however, she pronounces gifs wrong throughout the video. Also, I assumed she was a man all this time and to find out that I was wrong offended my ego. Grade: B- or Asian Fail as my people say.
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May 25, 2014 20:40
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Very offended you didn't make gifs of my tutorial.
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May 25, 2014 20:43
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Annakie posted:Very offended you didn't make gifs of my tutorial. I failed at the first step which was owning a windows computer to download and use instagiffer. I use ElementaryOS because it's the closest I can get to having a mac. 
Ravane fucked around with this message at 20:51 on May 25, 2014 |
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May 25, 2014 20:45
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Ravane posted:Review of Instagiffer Tutorial Video: Graphics Interchange Format. Its graphics with a hard g, not Giraffics. Get that Jif bullshit out of my face.
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May 25, 2014 21:44
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Zaggitz posted:Graphics Interchange Format. I am now disheartened by the lack of giraffics in the forum.
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May 25, 2014 21:56
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Parks and Recreation, Season 3, Episode 2 - "Flu Season" Stuff I Know: It's a comedy! I think. I watched the pilot when it originally aired, and all I remember is that Amy Poehler is a type-A hapless blonde somewhere in city admin for Pawnee, American State Name. Then there's that guy everyone likes with the mustache. And Aziz Ansari is in it, I think (I think?) Rob Lowe is definitely in it. And Aubrey Plaza too - I like her, even just because she keeps popping up on the periphery of things I am interested in (like commercials for World of Warcraft.) Beyond that, no clue! I have no idea how city administration turns into a flu plot unless this is going to be like workplace drama or suddenly it's Pandemic in 30 minutes. Stuff I learned: There's a Flu, cool - wait how is there a flu in sunny summer Southern California? April has the flu? oh that's Aubrey Plaza. And based off this nurse talking to the camera about another character, I'm guessing nurse-lady is also a main-character-ish. April is mean. and funny. Oh she's fighting with the nurse over a boy. My blankets are on the floor! The harvest festival! Amy Poehler has the flu. Someone named "Retta" worked on this, no last name. Amy thinks her allergies make her vomit five times today. Also she buys a lot of waffles. Mustache guy is an idiot who brought April makeup and magazines in the hospital, apparently her parents are just as bad. Amy Poehler = Leslie, and they think she's sick so they're making her talk on speakerphone from a meeting. Office quarantine! She's spreading germs on other people's stuff, like liking their mugs and stuff. Rob Lowe is a type-a idiot wearing a mask like he has SARS. (Everyone in this show is a sarcastic passive-aggressive dickweed, like a mean version of Gilmore Girls.) And he's going to dinner with the nurse so I guess the nurse and April are fighting over Rob Lowe. I can understand that. The nurse thinks Rob Lowe is literally too perfect. Mustache guy can't find someone as mean and apathetic as April to cover for her, so instead he goes to a guy named Andrew just because he won't do anything. Andrew is a free-spirit who can't tuck his shirt in and drinks from a super-straw he just invented that looks like the punchline to one of those brain-teasers about if you can breathe through a hollow reed while submerged. Leslie is being asked if she's leaving when wearing a Pawnee-branded parka and scarf, presumably in an attempt to stay warm. Because of course she's leaving into the SoCal summer wearing a parka. People are really bad at seasons in this show. Rob Lowe is scared he might be in the same room with sick Leslie and get the flu from her. Leslie is really bad at symptoms - the third Claritin staying down means she's feeling well. Leslie is too much of a workaholic to stop working. Apparently the nurse is Ann and Leslie is really sick, so Ann is forceably admitting her. Leslie is really sick and afraid that other people will mess up her big presentation. Aziz Ansari is trying to use Leslie's absence as an opportunity to take a day off and go to the spa. Oh, right, the mustache guy is Ron Swanson. April is his secretary I guess, so Andrew is replacing April. Got it. Andrew is a really bad secretary. Ron gives Andrew a thumbs-up when Andrew drops all his calls. Ann is trying really hard not to let April get to her, so she's going to be all nice and polite and go into the supply closet and snap a bunch of tongue depressors. Remember Leslie? How she's off work on Ann the doctor's orders? Yeah she's still interrogating Bob about the presentation over the phone. She really needs to take a chill pill. She has her bedside table set up as a desk and is offering to do his job for him - this is like all those episodes of House I used to watch. Ron Swanson is starving: he hasn't had lunch since yesterday. Andrew is telling him to go to a burrito shack instead, Ron doesn't like "ethnic food." Half of these characters are so WASP it hurts. But I will give Ron credit, he gives in to the "Meat Tornado" Andrew offers, and Andrew is so happy I think he's about to glomp Ron. The camera pans to a drawer Andrew dropped like it's some dramatic event that OH GOD A BUNCH OF MARKERS AND A NOTEPAD ARE ON THE FLOOR AAAAA. Leslie tries to check herself out but Ann will have none of it. Leslie takes her job so personally she pouts when Ann won't let her go to the meeting. Aziz Ansari went to Spawnee for the day, which is a pretty good pun. He's laying in a hot tub with a bunch of retirees making really bad jokes. And for some reason getting interviewed about his hot tub experience. Rob Lowe (I almost wrote Rob Ford) is not looking good and is now in the hospital. He's worried about Leslie's flu damaging his perfect body. So worried he's telling Ann (the doctor) the very important instructions to replenish him with electrolytes after he loses fluids. Wow he really does look sick. Good work makeup people! Ann goes you definitely have the flu and Rob Lowe is all "oh god. my body has been compromised." Andrew and Ron are sitting in Ron's office talking NFL and eating Ann's body weight in assorted Mexican fast food. Ron has developed an appreciation; he thanks Andrew for introducing him to "a whole new meat delivery system." Now they're going to go play football and I think Ron is falling for Andrew in the bromance way. I hope April can get her position back! Andrew is so bad at catching he fell over a car and now Ron and Andrew are running out of the parking lot playing football and watching for someone checking on the car alarm behind them. April is starting to snuggle with the giant teddy bear her parents left her.  Leslie stole April's flu medicine, that rebel! Leslie has left the building and Rob Lowe is delirious. Leslie has shown up for the big presentation with Ben! Woo! (She is totally going to like die in the middle of the stage or something, calling it now.) No wait, she's already gone: Ben can tell that she has a raised temperature, and Leslie cannot even remember how much to pay the cabbie: she looked at the meter and it had hieroglyphs on it. (I think that's probably out of sync with her a-type personality.) She asked Ben if he knew the exchange rate and I laughed for about a minute.Leslie just saw the floor and the wall switch positions and I think I am probably going to lose it soon. Ben is insulted Leslie didn't trust him to handle the presentation himself. Leslie begins her presentation talking to the scarecrows in a poster in the wall - yep I lost it. No, wait, she's telling them this is Nightline. Oh no, Andrew and Ron are starting to discuss politics while drinking and barbecuing in the office. This can't end well, but it seems to do okay. Rob Lowe has vomited somewhere in his hospital room, but he can't remember where. He needs Ann's help to figure this out. Oh, no, wait, he thinks it was in that drawer. Now Rob Lowe is staring at himself in the mirror, trying to command himself to stop pooping. His body is no longer a well-oiled machine! Ann is really glad Rob Lowe got the flu so she doesn't have to think he's perfect any more. Aziz Ansari has brought all his friends from Spawnee to the big presentation, guess he wasn't just jacking off after all! (Aziz's name is Tom.) Leslie is pulling rank, and makes Tom introduce her despite Ben's protests. This is not going to end well. Ron spilled the beans on April being in the hospital, this is apparently a big thing. Also why does Ron have a poster of a full breakfast on the wall like he's living in a diner menu? Tom is stumping for a dive bar to the Chamber of Commerce for some reason. Idk why at all. Leslie falls asleep just as Tom introduces her, and Ben has to push her towards the podium. Leslie delivers her presentation perfectly. This woman literally lives for management, doesn't she. Ann waits for her shift to end and then goes after April with a vengeance. (I think Rob Lowe's name is Andy?) Ann kinda hates April for lashing out at her and Andy. But oh no wait April likes Ann for standing up to her. Wacky. Ben is amazed that Leslie pulled off a perfect presentation despite being so sick. Leslie starts to lose it during the Q&A, asking a businessman why half his face is all swirly. NOW Ben has to cover for her. She's so gone she introduces Ben as Scott Bakula from Quantum Leap. Leslie thinks she's in a Jane Austen novel and asks for her tiara in a pretty-good Victorian impression. Ben comes to visit Leslie in hospital the next day, the presentation was a success! I think Ben has a crush on Leslie: he brought her chicken soup, and he's disappointed when she doesn't eat it right away. Andy comes into April's room while she's sleeping like a creepy stalker. He's going to sit and wait until April wakes up and yep that's creepy - oh, no, wacky Andy takes that back right away and leaves. April's probably playing at being asleep. He kisses her on the forehead after apologizing for whatever got April and Ann fighting (so I guess they weren't fighting over Rob Lowe) and then complains about the sick April's forehead being all red hot. Stupid boy. April wakes up and smiles - she was playing at sleeping. Over the credits, Rob Lowe is back to polishing his perfect body while leaving the hospital. Apparently he and Ben were on remand to the rest of the cast's agency? Idk, anyway they're going to stick around. Final Thoughts: This was pretty good but not great. Like there were good lines and jokes here and there but it was missing a big punchline climax to really make me burst out laughing. Leslie babbling more at the presentation probably would have done it. Do I want to watch more? I guess. Like I'd put it on while making dinner, but only if I'd run out of Community episodes or something. I get the feeling in retrospect that a lot of this was supposed to be funnier because of the existing plotlines and knowing things about say Ron or Tom, which I didn't. So the final grade is a B. It's watchable, but not great - but it's not mediocre or terrible, pretty much the actual definition of a B.
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May 26, 2014 01:04
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How did you not laugh at STOP. POOPING. Also you should watch P and R season 3 is an arguably perfect season Skip season 1 it's garbage though
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May 26, 2014 01:13
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Parks and Rec is definitely not a show you're going to appreciate by dropping in on a random episode.
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May 26, 2014 02:00
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La Tempestad: Episode 24 La Tempestad, for those who don't know, is a Spanish soap opera about a boat called La Tempestad ("the tempest," en anglais). The three main characters are the boat captain, a girl who owns an import/export business and some other guy who's getting cuckolded by the boat captain. Its basically the same dynamic as Lost, so I'm just going to refer to the characters as Sawyer, Kate and Jack.  In the episode, Kate's business had recently burned down and Sawyer is consoling her on his boat. By which I mean he shoves his tongue down her throat. She's reticent, though, because she's engaged to Jack or something. Sawyer calls her a coward, she cries, and they part ways. Although this is the first and only episode of La Tempestad I've seen, I know for a fact that Jack burned down Kate's business because he's clearly evil.  Not even trying to hide it. Sawyer goes back to his cabin, picks up Kate's sweater and starts huffing it. We get treated to a montage of all the times he and Kate made out, including the one we saw like five minutes ago. He cries and wipes his tears with the sweater before heading up to the deck to do boat stuff. Kate's now with her mother, who is the voice of reason. She calls Kate a coward for not eloping with Sawyer. Kate cries again because everybody in South America is really loving emotional. As for Jack, well, he's off meeting all his evil henchmen in one of the most confusing scenes ever put on film.  Not Penny's Truck After a short commercial break, a gypsy dies. That's not a joke. An old gypsy woman just keels right the gently caress over. The show cuts back to Kate who's still being harangued by her mother for not loving Sawyer. Sawyer, meanwhile, is hopping on a boat with his girlfriend when the old gypsy woman appears to him and tells him he's in danger. He blows her off because.. I don't know. Seeing a ghost seems like it would be a pretty big deal, but whatever. He gets on the boat and takes off just as Kate is running down the dock. Sawyer's girlfriend turns back and gives Kate a wicked smile. Kate breaks down and starts crying about how she's lost him forever because cell phones don't exist in this universe or something. The gypsy's ghost reappears and tells her there's still hope and to look around the dock for a solution. Its worth noting that while Kate and Sawyer have been running around the dock, Jack has been evilly playing the violin for the last fifteen minutes. In TV language this means he's about to pull off some diabolical scheme to win Kate's heart and do away with Sawyer once and for all. If I had to guess, I'd say he's planning to blow up Sawyer's boat. Cue Sawyer getting a call on the radio. The port authority orders Sawyer back and he complies, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend. When Sawyer demands to know why he was called, Kate steps out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z81hsLIY1sQ&t=188s from behind the door. Kate tells Sawyer she loves him and asks him about his girlfriend. He tells her she ain't no thang and they start tonguing outside the port authority. The tongue session goes on for awhile and Sawyer's girlfriend starts getting antsy on the boat. She goes to find Sawyer when she stumbles up him and Kate, tonguing the poo poo out of each in the middle of the street. Meanwhile, Jack is back at his palatial estate, evilly swirling wine when a bevy of bikini whores are dropped on his doorstep. He does what every man would do when confronted with four stunningly beautiful, half-naked prostitutes: jumps into the pools and splashes around like a child.  And.. that's it. End of episode. I don't know Spanish and I don't know soaps, but I can say without reservation that that was a soap, in Spanish. Letter Grade: C Irish Joe fucked around with this message at 23:06 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 22:55
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Thank you. That was amazing. I am literally crying with laughter (those gifs) or possibly excessive emotion. Some tidbits to enhance the of this 70-ish episode epic:Sawyer is played by a guy who was on some incarnation of Dancing With the Stars? Which is apparently why they bothered with English subtitles. Sawyer's girlfriend was at this point his wife, I believe. Kate's business is actually a fish-packing plant which exports "luxury" canned fish. La Tempestad is a fishing boat. I bet it smells magnificent and so does its captain. Kate's business partner is also her birth mother, as opposed to the terminally ill woman who raised her and is berating her for not loving the married fisherman, AND Kate has an identical twin who is an alcoholic bum/ex-prostitute. Birth mother goes undercover as a street ho to find Other Kate. Jack is business partners with Sawyer's father-in-law in a different export venture: human trafficking. BarbarousBertha fucked around with this message at 00:51 on May 27, 2014 |
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May 27, 2014 00:49
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Gaz-L: Stargate Universe, Season 1, episode 8, "Time":Link OK, in the spirit of this thread, I took notes while watching, but I only watched once, so what you're getting are my unblemished reactions to the episode. What I know: I'm a pretty big fan of the 'mothership' as it were, having seen most episodes of Stargate SG:1, and many of them more than once. So I know the setting and how it works, which having seen this episode, may have made me a bad choice to do this one, but hey, it's the one that jumped out at me from the list as both being interesting AND that I had easy streaming access to here in the UK. For Universe specifically, I knew going in that Robert Carlyle was in it. That some people had compared it to BSG. And that the Stargate lights are WHITE in this one, not red like in SG:1 or blue as in Atlantis (which I only watched like one season of). Review: OK, we open with a brief but fairly comprehensible recap, which seems focused on the crew of our station/ship? having trouble making ends meet and Robert Carlyle (I eventually worked out his character is called Rush, but gently caress that, he's going to be Robert Carlyle for this review) portentously saying that they don't have enough power to dial Earth. OK, quick precis for not Gate fans: Stargates are big metal rings with glowy lights on them that let you travel in wormholes between them. In the parlance of the TV shows, you 'dial' another gate in order to open the link. It usually only works within the same galaxy, but under some circumstances, you can go further. Our heroes seem to be trapped such a distance from Earth. Why are they here? gently caress if I know, I didn't see the pilot, that's why I'm doing this. Anyway, we open with our crew gating to a jungle planet. Already there's WAY too many characters. Our protagonist seems to be some Jonah Hill-esque dork in a hoody with a smartphone. He's called Eli, and he seems to alternate doing jackshit, flirting with a girl I named Flirty Girl in my notes and.... that's about it. The camerawork and editing is weird in these early scenes. I was initially not sure if this was just how the show shot, but it turns out there's a plot reason. Either way, there's soft focus at the edges of frame and a lot of legit jumpcutting (by which I don't mean abrupt cross-cutting between scenes, as some people term 'jump cuts', but actual cuts within what appears to be one shot, meaning the actor/s jump around in frame.) It's kind of offputting and because Eli runs around bugging everyone with questions, I initially thought he was shooting a documentary or something lame on his phone, but he's IN most shots and has his phone on him, so it turns out this is KINO (it sounds like an acronym?) footage, which seem to be floating sphere equivalents of the MALPs from SG:1, robot probe gizmos the crew use to scout planets to make sure there's oxygen and normal gravity and life and stuff. So far so good. Oh, there's also like 4 different soldiers we're meant to care about, Robert Carlyle, an older civilian dude and Blonde Doctor Lady (eventually named Dr Johansen). Eli, Doc Johansen (who is my favourite character mostly because she reminds me of the leads from the other shows, in that she's actually sympathetic and competent, plus when she finally takes her hat off, she's like a hotter version of Amanda Tapping, which doesn't hurt.) and some others have been gathering food, which seems to be the goal of this trip. Except they have no way of knowing if the food is poisonous? That seems... odd? We have ways to test that on Earth. They can't do it on a super Ancient-tech spaceship? Instead, Eli eats a fruit and immediately keels over, dead. No, I'm kidding, he just hocks it back up and throws it away, which Doc Blonde smartly notes means they have no idea which one he tried, so can't note down that it's bad, or which one to test if it IS dangerous. Why is Eli even on the ship? The military lot, I get, the Stargate program in the other shows was always military based. Robert Carlyle and some of the other civvies also make sense, they're scientist types, but Eli and Flirty Love Interest just seem to be two college aged dorks? What is their role? Other than to annoy Robert Carlyle by trying to play Desert Island Movies with him. And seriously, kid, Old School? You can pick any comedy film from the history of cinema, and you wanna see Will Ferrell do a beer bong? At least pick Anchorman if ya gotta have Ferrell. Anyhow...We jump ahead a little and everyone's getting sick, and Doc suggests to Robert Carlyle that they not go back to the Destiny, their ship, until they're sure it's not contagious. Again, smart, I like this lady. And she doubles down by both stating that she's going on her educated guess and treating the sick with antibiotics, even though they aren't sure it's a bacterial infection, AND not backing down when Robert Carlyle challenges her on it. Can the whole show be about her battling alien diseases? They set up camp for the night, and suddenly, scorpion snake lizard monsters! Like this is loving Minecraft and the second the sun goes down the world tries to kill you. Flirty Girl dies, along with many others, some of whom might also be important?, and she's had too many close-ups to die this early into the episode, so that, plus the title immediately made think: time travel shenanigans! And after an act break, that's exactly what it is. We cut to the cast watching the recording back and being all confused. Turns out they went to the planet and found the KINO, plus some long-dead human remains. Cue everyone being really confused, and looking at Eli like he's a loving moron for suggesting alternate realities... which do exist in this universe. There's multiple documented incidents of it. Not to mention TIME TRAVEL. Which is so clearly the explanation that I figured out not just the what, but the how about 20 minutes before the episode tips it's hand. Long story short, after a while, the Stargate on the planet stops working, and it's because of a solar flare in the star system. Solar flares, if a wormhole from the gates gets too close, cause the gate trip to go back or forward in time, sometimes even looping back to where you came from, so instead of going from Earth to Blintavaca VII on the same day, you go from Earth now, to Earth in, oh, 1969. Also, the scene where Nobly Greying Leader Dude explains them finding the past-future KINO is crosscut with a flashback of Eli saying the same thing immediately after NGLD says it. It's either really bad writing, or intentionally making Eli look like an even more useless doofus than he did to start. Anyway, due to the logs from the past-future, they don't stay in the jungle, and instead just watch themselves slowly die on the planet, due to illness and the darkness creatures from Don't Starve. We do get a nice scene where Eli recounts his Tragic Backstory. Which is more tragic for his mum, who ends up with HIV due to a dirty needle she got stuck with while doing her job as a nurse. And then Doc gives a bit of her backstory, talking about her dad. Again, she's the best character in this. Then Robert Carlyle gets all cynical and pragmatic, asking if Eli learned anything from confronting his own mortality. And then gets all religiously philosophical and waxes lyrical about the Ancients who built the Stargates and their power to transcend the physical plane. Psst, Bobby? The Ancients were DICKS. Meanwhile, in the present, Sgt Mopey Guy-I-Thought-Was-An-Extra is moping about being unable to save people on the recording, except he's totally not, and he's not crying, no Sir, it's just dusty on this alien spaceship is all! Like, why not just resolve to try harder if it happens again... which it probably wont? Anyhow, Flirty Girl- now called Chloe, has collapsed, so people are still sick! So we must watch more of the horrible recording to find out if they knew a cure! Or see Eli be given an M16 and lessons in gun etiquette? I mean, I know they're desparate, but Daniel Jackson was stuck with a sidearm for most of SG:1, and he was going into actual combat sometimes. Yet you're giving the idiot in the hoodie a rifle? This is followed by THERMAL SHAKY CAM! Because it's dark, and Eli's duct-taped the broken KINO to his head. And not to save money on effects or lighting, I'm sure. Robert Carlyle leaps into the solar flare compromised Gate, and is never heard from again. Finally, a random dude who'd been bitten by the smoke monsters wakes up, apparently recovered from both the poison and the plague, so the monsters' might be the key to a cure. And in a neat twist, Doc in the present discovers the disease came from the water they'd mined from an ice planet mentioned in the recap! Not the jungle planet, because even people who didn't go to the planet and had had no contact with that group, which was under quarantine, were getting sick. So NGLD and Rush realise the time travel thing, and realise they don't have much time before the flare, so a group is sent through to capture some of the lizard-bugs to milk venom from to use as a cure. While they do so, Eli gets to make a tearful confession of love to Chloe while she's on her deathbed. Which would be more touching if Doc wasn't standing there watching. Like, she's clearly done with her other patients. She could step outside for a minute. But she just stares. Oh, and Chloe was already dead. Yeah. And I know the BSG comparison means that character death is possible, but it still seems too calmly handled to be for real, so more time chicanery must be inbound. And it is! The crew on the planet get massacred by the nocturnal critters, but the same dude who got bitten/cured originally has the presence of mind to record an explicit warning and set of instructions on a KINO, ready to send it back in time again. And THE END! Or is it? Yeah, it is. The credits roll and everything. Verdict: Given the ambivalence I've gotten about this show via osmosis, I was expecting something more... different? This is basically a retread of an SG:1 story with a framing device and a grimdark tone. It wasn't bad, the acting was solid, NGLD struck the right tone, Carlyle was charismatic and the Doctor was cool. Even the guy playing Eli played what he was given well, he's just written like an idiot. Chloe fared even worse, basically looking pretty and puking for the whole episode. It didn't put me off the series, but I don't feel like "I GOTTA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!" either. A solid B, I'd say. Gaz-L fucked around with this message at 22:22 on May 27, 2014 |
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May 27, 2014 22:18
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I'm sure I've done something bad that needs penance, so hit me. I've got Hulu+, Netflix, Amazon Prime, and HBO to call upon. What I've seen: Christ almighty, I watch too much TV. Here's (I think) my watchlist for 2013-2014: Brooklyn 99, New Girl, The Americans, Defiance, Hemlock Grove, Orange is the New Black, Sleepy Hollow, Agents of SHIELD, Michael J. Fox Show, Masters of Sex, Reign, Almost Human, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Arrested Development, HIMYM, Supernatural, Modern Family, Survivor, Revolution, Arrow, Scandal, Glee, Parks & Rec, Grimm, Once Upon A Time, Revenge So yeah, too much goddamn TV. I've probably seen most hourlong dramas in the past five years or so, but I'm sure there's plenty I'm entirely ignorant to. Bring it on.
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Jun 13, 2014 23:05
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kaynorr posted:I'm sure I've done something bad that needs penance, so hit me. I've got Hulu+, Netflix, Amazon Prime, and HBO to call upon. Community Season 4 Episode 13
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Jun 14, 2014 01:37
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MrAristocrates posted:Community Season 4 Episode 13 That's not even remotely kind. Looking at my watchlist I neglected a few shows and Community is one of them, sorry. Probably because I scanned a fall 2013 scheduling grid to remind myself and, well, NBC.
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Jun 14, 2014 01:49
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The Comeback, season 1, episode 7.
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Jun 14, 2014 01:51
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Gaz-L posted:The Comeback, season 1, episode 7. You know my least favorite trend in TV comedy? Awkwardness humor. This is going to be great.
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Jun 14, 2014 01:55
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Is this still going on? If so, I'd like to get in on it. Things I watch: Orphan Black, Penny Dreadful, Continuum, Dominion (I'm really confused about the fact that I like this show, but for some reason I like it, idkwtf), The Last Ship (likewise), Archer, The Americans, House of Cards, Vikings (I'm only up to episode 6 of the first season though), Robot Chicken, The Venture Brothers, Game of Thrones, Defiance, Arrow, Black Sails, Castle, Agents of SHIELD, White Collar, Sherlock, Doctor Who (new). Things I have watched in the past: Every episode of every Star Trek show ever, even Voyager, for my sins Farscape Babylon 5 old Doctor Who (from 4th Doctor onward) The Real Ghostbusters (a childhood favorite) Futurama Ghost in the Shell Hustle Warehouse 13 Leverage Almost Human Star Wars: The Clone Wars Red Dwarf Burn Notice a bunch of obscure British sitcoms The X-Files The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. ...Apparently I really like space opera, time travel, cyberpunk, spies and grifters. I have Netflix and the Internet.
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Jul 13, 2014 02:07
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