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The dame and I were hot on the perp's trail. Days ago, before everything spiraled out of control like I'd never seen before, I'd warned her things could get like this. Bad, real bad. Of course, it's hard to make much sense of things when you're staring at a pair of legs from here til Christmas and into eyes so big and blue you can see yourself in them and almost forget about this crazy mixed up world for a moment or two. They don't make em like that anymore. We followed our mark into the Old Port Warehouse, just south of town. Nothin but junkies and empty shipping crates there now, this would be difficult. It was dark and humid that night, the air was thick as molasses. Just as we thought he'd given us the slip, he slinked out of the mist, gleaming gun in hand, like a hungry gray wolf, also known as the timber wolf, true wolf or western wolf which is a canid native to the wilderness and remote areas of North America, Eurasia, and North Africa. It is the largest extant member of its family, with males averaging 43–45 kg (95–99 lb), and females 36–38.5 kg (79–85 lb). Like the red wolf, it is distinguished from other Canis species by its larger size and less pointed features, particularly on the ears and muzzle. Its winter fur is long and bushy, and predominantly a mottled gray in color, although nearly pure white, red, or brown to black also occur. The gray wolf is the most specialised member of the genus Canis, as demonstrated by its morphological adaptations to hunting large prey, its more gregarious nature, and its highly advanced expressive behavior. It is nonetheless closely related enough to smaller Canis species, such as the eastern wolf, coyote and golden jackal to produce fertile hybrids. It is the only species of Canis to have a range encompassing both the Old and New Worlds, and originated in Eurasia during the Pleistocene, colonizing North America on at least three separate occasions during the Rancholabrean. It is a social animal, travelling in nuclear families consisting of a mated pair, accompanied by the pair's adult offspring. The gray wolf is typically an apex predator throughout its range, with only humans and tigers posing a serious threat to it. It feeds primarily on large ungulates, though it also eats smaller animals, livestock, carrion, and garbage. The gray wolf is one of the world's best known and well researched animals, with probably more books written about it than any other wildlife species. It has a long history of association with humans, having been despised and hunted in most pastoral communities due to its attacks on livestock, while conversely being respected in some agrarian and hunter-gatherer societies. It is the sole ancestor of the dog, which genetic and paleontological records indicate was first domesticated in Europe 18,800-32,100 years ago by hunter-gatherers. Although the fear of wolves is pervasive in many human societies, the majority of recorded attacks on people have been attributed to animals suffering from rabies. Non-rabid wolves have attacked and killed people, mainly children, but this is unusual, as wolves are relatively few, live away from people, and have been taught to fear humans by hunters and shepherds. The gray wolf was once one of the world's most widely distributed mammals, living throughout the northern hemisphere north of 15°N latitude in North America and 12°N in India. However, deliberate human persecution has reduced the species' range to about one third, due to livestock predation and fear over attacks on humans. The species is now extinct in much of Western Europe, in Mexico and much of the USA. In modern times, the gray wolf occurs mostly in wilderness and remote areas, particularly in Canada, Alaska and northern USA, Europe, and Asia from about 75°N to 12°N. Wolf population declines have been arrested since the 1970s, and have fostered recolonization and reintroduction in parts of its former range, due to legal protection, changes in land-use and rural human population shifts to cities. Competition with humans for livestock and game species, concerns over the danger posed by wolves to people, and habitat fragmentation pose a continued threat to the species. Despite these threats, because of the gray wolf's relatively widespread range and stable population, it is classified as Least Concern by the IUCN. Anyway, the perp shot the dame and escaped. GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 14:03 on May 23, 2014 |
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May 23, 2014 02:03
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The dame had tears in her eyes. We had finally captured the perp. He'd be brought to justice soon enough. "All in a day's work ma'am, making the world a little bit better... one scumbag off the streets at a time." "Oh Sam, you're my hero. What can I ever do to repay you?" the dame whispered right into my ear. "Gross, don't do that. You're getting spit in my ear and I don't like it at all. Now my ear is all WET!" "Oh Sam, you're so funny! How can you keep such a great sense of humor after all we've been through tonight? You're so different from all the other guys." She then looked at me in a way that I had never seen anyone look at me before, but I did not understand the meaning of it because I am not good with facial expressions. Exactly 12.4 seconds later I replied "All in a day's work ma'am, making the world a little bit better... one scumbag off the streets at a time." Then I got down on all fours and meowed like a cat as I slinked out of the room, hoping I had provided enough diversion that she wouldn't notice my boner as I tucked it under my belt and made my escape. GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Sep 5, 2014 |
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Sep 5, 2014 00:26
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Dave Concepcion posted:The day was hotter than a bitcoin mining rig, and the dame that just entered my office hotter still. I excused myself briefly to administer a little 'chemical assistance', I needed to be at the top of my game for this. As I returned from the bathroom I could already feel the potent mix of eformoterol and budesonide working its magic. I was barely wheezing when I 'm'ladied' her as I leaned back on my 'new' second hand Aeron chair. This is good stuff.
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Sep 24, 2014 18:10
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