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"Your old lady's dead toots." Her face fell and there was no consoling her, even when I told her logically 87.6% of all women die far earlier. I placed my finger on her eyebrow comfortingly and said it again, louder, but still nothing. Women. There's no understanding them sometimes.
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May 21, 2014 05:57
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Liquid Dinosaur posted:This specificity with exact quantities and temperatures isn't good writing. Autists like routines, but you guys seem to be confusing autism with OCD. Typical palooka, he thought he had me down, that he had the drop on me. He thought wrong. I swung hard from the left and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. He was expecting three right gut shots exactly, an OCD shot, mugs like that don't know what to do with an autistic gumshoe.
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May 21, 2014 06:37
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for noticing and pointing it out.
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Ork of Fiction posted:I hurried back to Claire's apartment, but found it trashed and my only lead missing.
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May 21, 2014 08:12
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I found him half asleep at the bar in the Ace Tavern, a washed up grifter getting grifted by the bottle. Thousand drunks just like him at a thousand joints in this city but Larry was special. Larry was the last man to see Margaret Johnson before she disappeared. I smiled widely as I approached. “HELLO,” I said and hugged him. People like it when you hug them. “Hey man, what is this? Get the hell off me!” Larry yelled, shoving me away. “DO YOU LIKE THIS BAR? THE MUSIC IS VERY LOUD.” I put my fingers in my ears and grimaced to show him what I meant. “What are you talking about? Who are you?” “I'M SAM IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, MAY I SIT WITH YOU PLEASE?” “Nah man, just go away. Just get the gently caress away from me, okay?” “OKAY, I'M SORRY.” I left the bar smiling even though I was quivering inside. I knew I could never go back there. Everyone had seen. I spent the next three days rearranging my files to make pictures of dinosaurs and ignoring the ringing phone. When Mr. Johnson finally came by the office I screamed “I'M NOT FINDING YOUR DAUGHTER ANYMORE I'M TOO BUSY!” and slammed the door in his face. Even LA's top Austic Investigator knows when to quit. swampland fucked around with this message at 07:32 on May 22, 2014 |
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May 22, 2014 07:24
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He walked in wearing a three piece suit minus a couple of pieces. Upper class guy gone to the dogs, a shaved peacock if I ever saw one. “WHY ARE YOU HERE SIR?” “Where do I even begin? God it seems like just yesterday we were walking down the aisle, hand in hand, she was wearing the most expensive dress from the most expense store in town. We looked into each others eyes and swore to be together forever. She held my hands like a...” “WAS THAT FUN?” “Yeah...sure it was fun. It was the best day of my life we -” “DID YOU KISS EACH OTHER?” “Uh, yeah.” “WAS THAT FUN?” He stared at me for a moment and I licked my lips slowly. “Yeah, listen you're a strange guy but people tell me you're the best. And the kind of problem I've got here, well I don't feel comfortable leaving it with some two bit alley cat.” “THANK YOU VERY MUCH!” “Don't worry about it.” “OKAY!” “So the thing is my girl's been cheating around on me. Or at least that's how it seems. See she keeps going off at all hours, hell sometimes she even disapears for days, and if I so much as ask her why she's right out the door again in a huff. I want you to follow her and find out if...hey what the gently caress, are you even listening to me?” I turned my gaze back to my new friend, smiled and shook my head. “Well why the gently caress not?” “THE CLOCK SAYS ITS TIME FOR BED.” “Bed? It's three o clock in the afternoon.” “THE CLOCK SIR, THE CLOCK.” “Listen there's a lot of money in this for you if you just hear me -” “NO! IT'S MY BEDTIME YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW!” “Jesus, okay fine, just calm down man.” “I AM CALM.” The guy looked more rattled than a shaken up Gadsen flag. Tough break but everybody who's anybody in this town knows when I take my naps. This isn't amateur hour at the five quarter speak easy and I ain't no broken down waitress turning tricks on the side. This is Los Angeles and I'm Sam Sperglord, Autistic Private Detective. swampland fucked around with this message at 23:01 on Sep 4, 2014 |
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Sep 4, 2014 22:52
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Sep 6, 2014 01:51
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Professor Shark posted:That's Sherlock Holmes, not Noir Detective fiction you loving moron
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Sep 28, 2014 19:19
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