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she walked in, legs for miles. i smirked and tipped my fedora at her. "m-m-m'lady" i choked out. her eyes darted towards my hand, sitting on the hilt of my trusty katana. i didnt really see where her eyes went next because of my social anxiety. "im convinced my husband is cheating on me. i need you to prove it." she was frank. to the point. i stared at the floor, motionless, b-b-because a girl just talked to me
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May 21, 2014 00:17
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 20:47 |
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i wouldve taken the dames offer, you see, but i needed to organize all of my files first by color, then by size, while listening to videogame music slowed down 200x
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May 21, 2014 00:19
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five
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May 21, 2014 00:31
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i decided now was the time. i kicked the perps door down, and was suddenly hit with a thick wall of smoke. i reached into my trenchcoat pocket, my fingers desperately racing for their prize. empty. "looking for something, detective?" he grinned at me with alternating pearly whites and glimmering gold. there it was, in his hand. my inhaler.
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May 21, 2014 01:01
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the bullet would have pierced my heart if it werent for the one piece manga in my front pocket.
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May 21, 2014 01:08
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that strawberry daquiri last night left me with one hell of a hangover. it was barely half past 4 in the afternoon when my morning alarm went off. i scratched the stubble on my neck and threw on my icp hoodie. the phone rang. it felt like a knife in the brain. i promised myself ide never drink again and picked up. "Sperglord? is that you?" it was my latest client. he needed me to retrieve some... stolen merchandise. "sure is" i croaked "the dolls, did you get them? they have sentimental value, you see..." i glanced at the pile of little plastic ponies on the floor. they were coated in thin veneer of semen. i must have had my way with them in my drunken stupor. "uh... n-no! no sir! got to go! bye!"
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May 21, 2014 02:03
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"i'de help you, doll, i really would." i took a drag from my cigarette and hefted up my sega genesis controller "but i've got fox drowning to do"
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May 21, 2014 02:11
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the autopsy was gruesome but provided some usefuk insights. toxicology sceens came back positive for snake venom. that explained the unusual bite marks on the vics tongue. bingo. i called up georgia. this was a big break. "listen, peach. your husband didnt choke on that sandwich. it was murder alright. he was assassinated." "but how?" "inside of that beef patty of his was a snake. it bit him on the tongue and slithered away. a brilliant crime, really. you see, peach... your husband died of asp burgers"
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May 21, 2014 02:17
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business was awful as of late. my bit wallet was practically swarming with moths. if i was going to drum up any new clientelle ide need to advertise. i knew exactly what ide need: some crayons (crayola brand), a poster board, some glue. i started writing. "21 year old SINGLE WHITE MALE seeking 18-21 year old BOYFRIEND FREE female companion...
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May 21, 2014 21:22
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:"Sam," he said. "Leave it well enough alone." this unironically owns
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May 21, 2014 21:26
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"sweet ride" he said. "it'd be a shame if somebody took it." he gripped his pistol and pointed it my direction. lucky for me, i knew exactly what would change his mind. "It's a 1949 Buick Roadmaster. Straight 8. Fireball 8. Only 8,985 production models. Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway. But not on Monday, definitely not on Monday."
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May 21, 2014 21:35
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"play it again, sam" i said as i brought my 2-liter to my lips. then i hit the play button in winamp (han solo skin, obviously)
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May 21, 2014 22:57
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goldmine this tia
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May 22, 2014 02:06
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canuckanese posted:someone do one with more meme references "im gay" she said, sauntering to the desk "do you have stairs in your house?" i smirked back at her autistically
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May 23, 2014 21:36
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why isnt this goldmined????
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Jun 26, 2014 19:55
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as the apartment building burned down around us he flailed his pistol wildly, firing shots in every direction. "this can only end one way, sam. either one of us dies or we both do." he couldnt see me from my hiding place beneath my computer desk. as acrid smoke filled the air, dried semen and boogers scraped against my scalp from the underside of the desk. if i'de have known not being able to read dangan ranpa for 2 days would drive him to the edge, i'de have never taken the forums down in the first place.
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Jun 26, 2014 20:03
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I knew every issue of Death Note from front to back, but I couldn't make heads or tails of this suicide letter.
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Sep 4, 2014 22:40
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The ferris wheel turned once again. Like my stomach. He stared me dead in the eye. I was found out. "Have you ever seen any of your victims?" I replied. "You know, I never feel comfortable on these sort of things. In fact, emotions were always something I had trouble understanding. Victims? Don't be melodramatic. Look down there. Tell me. Would you really feel any pity if one of those pixels stopped moving forever? If I offered you twenty thousand bitcoins for every pixel that stopped, would you really, old man, tell me to keep my money, or would you calculate how many pixels you could afford to spare? Free of paypal fees, old man. Free of paypal fees, shipping and handling fees - the only way you can save money nowadays."
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Sep 4, 2014 22:52
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"You know, doll, if it werent for the fact that you know my IQ has been confirmed multiple times as being well above 160, I'de think you thought I was stupid enough to believe you." I smirked the way I had practiced in the mirror many nights before, but my cheek twitched a few times. Im sure she didn't notice. "I'm gonna ask you one more time. Where is Anita Sarkeesian, and how can we stop her?"
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Sep 4, 2014 22:57
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| # ¿ May 15, 2024 20:47 |
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mods not goldmining this thread is proof that there a bunch of buncoing galoots
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Sep 5, 2014 00:57
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