|
This is the special World Cup thread for the German team. What is a World Cup? A miserable pile of gold showing two triumphing footballers holding the globe hostage. You win it as nation by sending a selection of your least terrible players to FIFA and demand a rematch and bookings at every corner against you. This time around the action will happen in Brazil which, despite their passion for the sport, has seen some social upheaval due to spending billions on the wrong loving end of the country (like having a 40k seater stadium built in a city with only a third league team) and giving FIFA a blank cheque to launder all their money, all the while not investing in important stuff like schools and infrastructure. Germany is favoured to crash out of group G in first place against big wigs like Portugal, Ghana and the US of A. It is considered quite rude to not have won it at least thrice so you can take part at the big boys table at dinner. But enough talk, have thee some pictures of managers and players Der Jogi (Hans Joachim Löw)*  Current manager of Germany and always good for a laugh. Remember when he nominated Khedira and Klose, both of whom came back from looooooong injuries? Good times. What year is it again? 2014? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFuck. So yes, he has a way of picking players that's not sitting right with several posters itf, including me, which puts less emphasis on ability and more on who he personally likes more. Not that this is actually different to any of his predecessors up to and including Sepp Herberger from 80 years ago, but it's something to keep in mind when you see a way past-it player waddle around on the pitch in a German kit (it's gonna be Klinsmann in disguise). Goalkeepers Manuel Neuer  Germany's no.1 in goal, he acts as sweeper, making fans very uncomfortable, but those guys don't have a clue.  Part of the Bayern bloc and the worlds best goalkeeper.Roman Weidenfeller  His first World Cup honours at 33, Roman has played a very gescheite Saison, will thus be number two behind Neuer and probably only play in the decider for third place if that comes to pass. Dortmund bloc. Ron-Robert Zieler  Tried to keep Hannover's goal clean and failed miserably this season, but is apparently enough of a cool dude to bring as third string keeper (certainly less toxic locker atmosphere than taking ter-Stegen). Defenders Jerome Boateng  Pretty good center-/rightback with a very slight propensity for stupid errors. Bayern bloc. Erik Durm  Part of the Dortmund bloc, about to be blooded into the squad and hopefully a good future fullback. Started off as striker though. Kevin Großkreutz  A working bee used on both outer midfield and defensive positions, it's impossible to find a picture that is flattering at all for the Dortmund ultra gone pro. Michael Cera as Benedikt Höwedes  Schalkes very own defender who'll slot into either full- or centerback position. Mats Hummels  This looker is part of the Dortmund bloc and features as centerback in the managers plans. Look at his drop dead gorgeous face. Philipp Lahm  Skipper of both Bayern and the national team, Lahm is the tiny Übermensch everyone would love to have. Literally world class as both rightback and defensive midfield (a position he might have to play exclusively this tournament seeing as Khedira is useless when not fit - see CL final 2014 for more info). Per Mertesacker  pictured: Mertesacker(r.) with his newborn girl Arsenals choice centerback with pretty good game sense to counteract his lack of run- and turnspeed. Nailed on as starter, leaving one spot to either Boateng or Hummels (both guys are better but I'm not the guy being paid several million a year to manage). Shkodran Mustafi  I don't know the first thing about Mustafi, but he looked alright against Poland. A youth player in Hamburg to transfer to Everton and from there over to Sampdoria. Needed two tries to correctly spell his name. Will probably watch the tournament from the bench. Marcel Schmelzer  It's the guy behind the mask, and he's willing to ping crosses from half a pitch away to the stands. Leftback for Dortmund, probably starting leftback for Germany. Midfield Julian Draxler  Schalkes youngster on the wings, he's stagnated a bit this season (though not necessarily a fault of his own, the squires haven't been exactly constant in their showings). Could still make a breakthrough this tournament if Jogi lets him play. Matthias Ginter  A player from the youth of Freiburg and future Mario Götze  The great German hope to make a splash this tournament, Götze has been the subject of somewhat disappointed Dortmund fans last season after his transfer to Bayern got leaked early. He is rather small, fast and has a fantastic technique (not something Germany has often among their ranks). He'll probably play as 10 interspersed with the outer midfield and a faked as poo poo 9. Sami Khedira  A cool dude to have around, but unfortunately limited in the position he's been used as (box-to-box defensive midfield), also coming back from a cruciate ligament injury and entirely unfit for the physically demanding role. Real Madrid nearly lost their CL-final due to him. Christoph Kramer  This kid. I haven't watched him at all despite playing for Gladbach. The blind spot of shame. Toni Kroos  The bets are off: will Toni have another underwhelming tournament or does he play a bigger role in Löws plans? You decide! Thomasof Müllerinho  Bayerns most unpredictable player on the wings and a Raumdeuter, people hope he'll pull off the same magic like in 2010. Highly probable starter on the right wing. Mesut Özil  A Gunner, Özil has been the most expensive transfer Arsenal have conducted as of yet. I hope he reproduces his 2010 form just like Müller, but at least being in form might help too. Certain to start as 10. Lukas Podolski  Lots more Gunners present than the Euros, oh well. Poldi is neither big on technique nor very fast on the wings, but he's hammering the ball like no one else on the squad. The aim's also off a bit. Marco Reus  Fast and technically adept player on the wings. Has terrible hair and can't dance. André Schürrle  Chose the perfect team to not develop into a player worth a poo poo, but he's still young, some club with ambition beyond parking buses all day long might get ahold of him some day. We might just not have heard of it. Bastian Schweinsteiger  Picks up injuries left and right, is important for Germanys game and only recently started training with the ball again. Attack Miroslav Klose  Old Miro, another injury prone player, has surprisingly come back from a recent injury and could still start as striker. Could break Ronaldos goal record if he gets in shape. Kevin Volland  Surprising nomination considering Kruse had seniority, but a good player nonetheless. What do we expect? Better football to play than you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuxghiwjgQc    So go on, post your opinions! *His full name is Joachim Löw, some dumb reporter just added Hans one day and it stuck with me. Healbot fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Jul 9, 2014 |
#
¿
May 25, 2014 13:54
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2024 11:57 |
|
|
Chris de Sperg posted:2 World Wars, 1 World Cup. Still not enough for the big boys table, son.
|
|
#
¿
May 25, 2014 13:58
|
|
|
Katana Gomai posted:a miserable pile of flops Remember how he'd be subbed in late at the EL-final and promptly subbed out? Good times.
|
|
#
¿
May 26, 2014 12:42
|
|
|
code:Edit: Not the latest version of Awful, ugh. Healbot fucked around with this message at 18:59 on Jun 1, 2014 |
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 18:56
|
|
|
bignose posted:I always count on Kroos to bottle it. Jogis Buben! That's a friendly, so Toni won't bugger this up, he'll instead do double duty while Sami tears another ligament.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 19:32
|
|
|
Fourty seconds in and Mesut missed a sitter.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 19:34
|
|
|
Mbia really can't stand Kroos.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 19:47
|
|
|
If Khedira starts a single game in Brazil Germany is not going to make it out of the group. He's a liability. I'd send him packing with the last wave before the squad of 23 has to be finalised.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 20:20
|
|
|
Bayern to the rescue. 
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 20:55
|
|
|
Özil was on the pitch?
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 20:57
|
|
|
Sami subbed for the player who, for all intents and purposes, should've started in his stead tonight. Because he wasn't out for six months due to injury and can run around the pitch doing box-to-box stuff.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 21:03
|
|
|
Schürrle is truly hitleresque.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 1, 2014 21:04
|
|
|
5 CB's left, meaning Boateng is to be used as rightback throughout the tournament with Lahm playing in midfield. So even Löw saw Khedira play.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2014 11:56
|
|
|
I thought this was the German garbageman thread.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 2, 2014 15:00
|
|
|
Oh poo poo Reus, that didn't look good.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 6, 2014 20:31
|
|
|
Großkreutz loves pissing in my cornflakes, but we got Poldi at least.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 6, 2014 21:14
|
|
|
Reprisal posted:LOL, replay shows no contact. There was contact and Boateng has a better standing in the squad, not to mention Löw (not pissing into a hotel lobby does that these days). I don't know how you got the bright idea of starting Kevin ahead of someone who has the same workrate, does better defensively and is pretty much the fastest defender Germany has. Großkreutz will not start a single game except maybe the third place match or Boateng missing due to yellows.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 7, 2014 19:59
|
|
|
rope kid posted:It's hilarious that Pepe went out over Müller's stupid dive. It wasn't a dive and certainly not the point of contention for Mazic. Pepe got sent off because of doing the headbutt motion on Müller after the fact in plain sight. He routinely riles people up without being seen. It didn't work this time.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 16, 2014 21:25
|
|
|
Soulex posted:Goddamn it autocorrect. You should think about turning it off after the 100th incident.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 16, 2014 22:15
|
|
|
rope kid posted:Germany is my team for the World Cup but do you really think that Pepe's initial tap sent epic shockwaves through Müller's face and body and forced him down? It was enough of a contact to be called on, but unless players make it look like they got shot by a sniper or start profusely bleeding officiating staff barely react in professional games.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 17, 2014 09:20
|
|
|
I quite liked it when ZDF had the radio broadcast enabled on another audio channel so I didn't need to suffer Rethy anymore.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 17, 2014 18:00
|
|
|
AlexF posted:Awww, man! They should have just replaced the whole video with Ewald's singing wound. I laughed so hard at that part. Oh my god, I just listened to the song on http://www.deichkind.de/audio.php and it gets hilarious when you increase alcohol levels.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 18, 2014 11:05
|
|
|
Özil has ups and downs (he dramatically improved upon Schweinsteiger and Klose subbing in), but Khedira was never good enough as box-to-box player but certainly technically inept at losing the ball. I just don't know what Löw sees in him. He barely improved from his Stuttgart days, the only difference is that massive price tag hanging around his neck.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 21, 2014 22:41
|
|
|
elbkaida posted:Wait, what? Do you remember 2012? Back then Khedira was keeping together the German and Madrid midfield. He closed down spaces, got people off the ball, was winning lots of headers in midfield, had good vision for vertical passes and got to the edge of the box to pop some dangerous shots. Obviously that is not the Sami Khedira playing today but for me he was the best German player in EM2012 and that different coaches at Madrid + Löw value him so much is definitely deserved. Dunno what kind of year 2012 you remember (it's gotta be the Emmerich movie), but he mostly stuck around the enemy box and almost never defended, leaving Schweinsteiger all the grunt work in the back.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 22, 2014 00:18
|
|
|
Koesj posted:The gently caress's wrong with that Bela something something guy he was so smugly negative. Ironic distance has been his thing for a couple of years. He also doesn't give much of a gently caress about pronouncing names correctly, which makes me want to tear my ears out.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 30, 2014 23:50
|
|
|
Lmao, that's a pissed off Per.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 1, 2014 01:16
|
|
|
Germanys game was very static and I caught myself screaming at the fuckers to move just so the player with the ball could find someone to pass to. Edit: It was a vintage Bayern 2010/11 game at that.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 1, 2014 10:49
|
|
|
Hmm, give up defensive stability in mid and play Kroos/Schweinsteiger/Khedira so one side has an actual fullback, or risk problems on the wings so loving Mertesacker doesn't get exposed every two minutes?
|
|
#
¿
Jul 2, 2014 18:17
|
|
|
antidote posted:Things did go a lot more smoothly once he switched back. Grow some balls, Jogi! Once the Mustafi swap happened Algeria had free reign through the middle on counters.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 2, 2014 18:21
|
|
|
Bild hasn't been right for any of the formations this tournament.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 4, 2014 12:06
|
|
|
They were right in 'guessing' the formation Pep's Bayern would use against Dortmund last year, but it's gone downhill since.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 4, 2014 12:09
|
|
|
hopterque posted:gently caress khedira holy poo poo how is someone so consistently awful still starting. But don't you see man, he's got this physical presence in midfield when he's standing in the enemy box!
|
|
#
¿
Jul 4, 2014 19:20
|
|
|
rope kid posted:This but Boateng. Jerome was alright for the most part.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 4, 2014 19:49
|
|
|
Hmm, hearing news about Tuchel getting to be Loews assistant come September with Flick quitting. Or even succeeding him after the World Cup.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2014 19:21
|
|
|
@jesawyer posted:Wenn #DFBTeam #WM2014 gewinnt, singe ich eine schlechte deutsche Version von „We are the Champions“. ~* ~* ~* Don't forget to post a link in here should a win come to pass, rope kid!
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2014 20:16
|
|
|
Ich hab's den gesamten Turnierverlauf über schon gesagt, sobald die Zyniker einer guten Mannschaft gegenüberstehen sind sie raus. Natürlich habe ich nicht erwartet dass sie so gebrochen daherkommen.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2014 21:58
|
|
|
frankenfreak posted:Leerzitat Das war kein Leerzitat.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 9, 2014 00:20
|
|
|
32,57 million people in Germany watched the semi-finals on TV. 
Healbot fucked around with this message at 11:44 on Jul 9, 2014 |
|
#
¿
Jul 9, 2014 11:30
|
|
|
Kurtofan posted:I don't understand german so I'm assuming this is about hitler Sour grapes and theorising that Germany would've lost if they didn't win.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 9, 2014 17:12
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ May 21, 2024 11:57 |
|
|
How about you guys take that to PWM or the MDT and stop making GBS threads up this thread.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 9, 2014 19:07
|
|