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Welcome to the thread for TRP's favourite team in the world, Portugal! I'm not gonna bother with history or boring poo poo like that, everyone knows Portugal, they're probably the biggest and coolest team around and everyone's a fan. We didn't have much of a international presence (except in WC 1966, when we finished in third) until the Golden generation rolled around, with big alphas like Luis Figo, Rui Costa, Fernando Couto etc, and since then we've rarely been out of competitions before the quarter-finals.  This is what Portugal is all about. Notice how Miguel Veloso is offering his butt to the Alpha King, Cristiano Ronaldo. He knows who's boss, hell, we all know it.  This is our manager, Paulo Bento. He was our DM during the Golden generation, now he's a dumb looking guy who talks slowly like a retard. Won a couple of cups at Sporting, now he picks his favorite pupils for big tournaments while leaving better players at home. He Sucks!! The XI   Rui Patrício (GK) is obviously a cool guy, he's been Sporting's goalkeeper since he was like 20 and a starter for Portugal since Euro 2012. One of the best young goalkeeper in Europe, he's not very well known because he's never played outside Portugal and he isn't interested in it either, he loves Sporting and we love him and it's all good times. Swole: 7   Fábio Coentrão (LB) hasn't had the best of times at Real Madrid, but he becomes a stud whenever he puts on a Portugal shirt. Consistently one of our best players, but he should definitely lift more, he's skinny as heck and needs big guys like Pepe to back him up. Swole: 3   Pepe (CB) is an alpha and a complete oval office. He doesn't take poo poo and he loves beating people up. His new found hair has made him even more powerful and nobody wants to mess with that. Swole: 9   Bruno Alves (CB) another absolute oval office. One of the dirtiest players to ever play in the Portuguese league, he's now injuring people over in Russia. He's a strong beast, juicy. Swole: 8   João Pereira (RB) could be a great fullback if he knew how to cross a loving ball. He's awful at it. Another big time oval office, loved getting red cards back in Portugal. Swole: 4   Miguel Veloso (DM) great passing, great at set-pieces. Shame he's bad at his actual job, which is being a defensive midfielder, so expect William Carvalho to replace him a lot. Once thought to be the next big Portuguese player, he couldn't handle the pressure and became a bit poo poo, now toils away at shithole Ukraine. Swole: 5, mostly fat   João Moutinho (CM) one of the best center midfielders in Europe in recent times, but I have no idea how his season went in Monaco since I don't watch that gay French league. He's a short little oval office. Swole: 2   Raul Meireles (CM) old and not that great, but he's a cool guy. Should lift more. Swole: 4      Cristiano Ronaldo (LM) what can be said about Ronaldo that hasn't already been said? He's currently the best player in the world and probably the greatest ever, he's strong big, fast, athletic like a Black man, he's got the biggest arms and the biggest charm, the girls all want him and the guys all want to be him but nobody can because he's the Man, he's got the hottest girlfriend who he doesn't cheat on because that's not what cool guys do, he's got a son he paid for so he wouldn't have to deal with mommy bitchy drama and his son is considered (by me) to be Most Likely to be President or an Astronaut because it's in his genes, the Alpha God himself, king of the jungle that is football but he's no lion because he keeps it all good and trimmed, he's his own animal and glory is what he feeds on. Swole: Off the Charts!!!   Nani (RM) barely played this season but he usually does well for the national team, might lose his spot for Varela. The beta to Ronaldo's alpha. Swole: 7   Hélder Postiga (ST) barely played this season so who knows if he'll even be our striker. He's a joke but he doesn't care because he's rich and handsome and he's played in like 30 international tournaments so he's doing something right. Swole: 6 The Rest             Beto (GK) had a great season at Sevilla, winning the EL, probably won't get any playing time. Eduardo (GK) had a lovely season at Braga, will get 0 playing time, who knows why he was called up, maybe we needed more beta in the locker room to balance stuff out. Ricardo Costa (CB) an awful defender who keeps getting called up by Bento, must be a cool guy in the locker rooms. Luís Neto (CB) he's ok. André Almeida (FB) can play at LB or RB, not great at any of them. Only called up because we needed more Benfica players or their fans would cry like the bitches they are. William Carvalho (DM) player of the year in the Portuguese league. My handsome boyfriend. Rúben Amorim (CM) utility player, can play anywhere in the midfield. Average. Rafa (AM) the biggest surprise in the squad, has barely played for the national team but Bento felt we needed more offensive options in midfield. A lot of potential. Varela (LW) consistently good for the national team, will play a lot. Vieirinha (RW) crap, even he was shocked that he was called up. Barely played this season. Hugo Almeida (ST) a big pile of poo poo. Éder (ST) not bad but got injured and barely played this season. Noticing a pattern?  That's our team!!! Hope you enjoyed it. DOn't talk about spo Don't forget to root for us as the whole of TRP is planning on doing, since we're the coolest team and everybody loves us. BYE!!
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May 26, 2014 19:48
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You forgot to mention the 12th man... The fans. Since Portugal is playing in the land they conquered during the great age of exploration, surly the people of Brazil will cheer for Portugal during every game.
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May 26, 2014 20:02
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I have nothing to say about Portugal.
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May 26, 2014 20:03
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one of the best images to ever exist on this internet, quote if you lol every time
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May 26, 2014 20:06
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Drogadon posted:one of the best images to ever exist on this internet, quote if you lol every time
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May 26, 2014 20:10
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good op, full of alphas and hot men
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May 26, 2014 20:23
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uhm.. *starts sweating* afff... lossa dreamboats
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May 26, 2014 20:41
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i love meireles and his sick fashion sense and big bushy beard ftw
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May 26, 2014 20:43
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Bogan Krkic posted:i love meireles and his sick fashion sense and big bushy beard ftw same op, he always looks great. the portuguese team is full of flair, i love it
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May 26, 2014 20:44
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omg the op
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May 26, 2014 20:47
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death to portugal
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May 26, 2014 20:54
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lol as if ronaldo likes women He paid to impregnate a woman artificially because he couldn't stand to touch one. Still a cool and good player though, there's nothing wrong with being gay and I'm glad the current best player in the world is an Openly Gay Man. I also love it that every time I see a picture of Raul Meireles his beard has gotten bigger.
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May 26, 2014 20:58
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vyelkin posted:lol as if ronaldo likes women nothing wrong with that, just imagine ronaldo and the chimp during hot alpha sex sessions, oh god
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May 26, 2014 21:01
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tetsman posted:nothing wrong with that, just imagine ronaldo and the chimp during hot alpha sex sessions, oh god hey man being gay is cool but i draw the line at bestiality
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May 26, 2014 21:04
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Raul Meireles Is My Spirit Animal
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May 26, 2014 21:08
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Here's my opinion on what is going to happen this tournament: * we will not pass the group stage * there will be A Scandal, not as big as saltillo * at least ten players will get injured either before or immediately after the plane touches ground in brazil * we will play with 9 players, because it'll be more effective than having Postiga and Nani on the field (Postiga is actually the guy in the team with the most goals so lol)
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May 26, 2014 21:09
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KoldPT posted:Here's my opinion on what is going to happen this tournament: * you will * there will be * they won't * you won't
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May 26, 2014 21:10
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Montasque posted:You forgot to mention the 12th man... The fans. Since Portugal is playing in the land they conquered during the great age of exploration, surly the people of Brazil will cheer for Portugal during every game. Yeah it owned when Bayern signed him.
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May 26, 2014 21:30
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vyelkin posted:lol as if ronaldo likes women Messi isn't gay  I'd have alot more respect for ronald if he had the stones to actually come out
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May 26, 2014 21:51
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Bit weird thinking an alpha lad like Ronaldo is gay
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May 26, 2014 21:54
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url posted:Messi isn't gay Messi is asexual probably.
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May 26, 2014 21:55
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Gigi Galli posted:Messi is asexual probably. I didn't see any hobbit sex in any of the Lord of the Rings movies, so my best bet is that he and Xavi are platonic bff life partners like Frodo and Sam.
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May 26, 2014 21:57
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I do not look forward to seeing this man rip up the usmnt
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May 26, 2014 21:58
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Ronaldo is a good player sure but his lats are out of this world
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May 26, 2014 22:03
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Hegay posted:Bit weird thinking an alpha lad like Ronaldo is gay your username, and that attitude seem incongruous I'm confused, not as confused as ronniekins, but confused all the same
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May 26, 2014 22:13
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vyelkin posted:lol as if ronaldo likes women Ronaldo is the most fabulous footballer who ever lived. Gay, straight, whatever, it doesn't matter. And Raul Meireles is pure loving Alpha dog. Also Nani is so bad. Easily the worst player on the team not named Hugo Almeida.
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May 26, 2014 22:16
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Montasque posted:Ronaldo is the most fabulous footballer who ever lived. Gay, straight, whatever, it doesn't matter. Oh hey, there's this big queue of players that have scored in world cups and lifted the trophy - fake Ron will never get to make that claim. A whole slew of that queue is made up of Brazilians including the proper Ronaldo, and Ronaldinho both of which fake ron isn't fit to kiss the boots of. (I may do the Brazil thread if no one else does, but my effort last time was kinda weak)
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May 26, 2014 22:25
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You don't belong in this thread, please leave troll.
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May 26, 2014 22:30
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url posted:Oh hey, there's this big queue of players that have scored in world cups and lifted the trophy - fake Ron will never get to make that claim. CR7 is far and above better than Fat Ron and Ronaldinho, just look at the club statistics. As far as national football goes, Ronaldo plays on a team where NANI is a starter. 'nuff said.
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May 26, 2014 22:30
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Montasque posted:Ronaldo is the most fabulous footballer who ever lived. Gay, straight, whatever, it doesn't matter. Your words not mine. Montasque posted:CR7 is far and above better than Fat Ron and Ronaldinho Lol, no. Mean Bean Machine posted:You don't belong in this thread, please leave troll. Aww, it's early days yet. have a video to make yourself feel better. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E16ti4m7D_A I spend a fair amount of time in Portugal, I just don't really like fake ronnie's attitude of self-fellatio. p.s. can we have Maddie back?
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May 26, 2014 22:47
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url is trolling every thread drat troll making me sleepy, hopefully the mods will deal with him
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May 26, 2014 22:47
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Hegay posted:url is trolling every thread drat troll making me sleepy, hopefully the mods will deal with him yeah this, next zhe'll bore us with pics of zher boyfriend wearing all the chinese counterfeit shirts from zher best teams. Yawn, goodbye troll.
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May 26, 2014 22:49
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As a straight dude, I'm glad I'm not crazy insecure and have to hate ronaldo just because he's awesome, sexy as hell and the greatest footballer alive. I'd play beach volleyball with him and have sex with him for sure.
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May 26, 2014 23:03
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Ronaldo is awesome. He is also named after the two Greatest Men in History, the 40th President of the United States of America, Destroyer of the Evil Soviet Empire, Wall Crusher, the star of Bedtime for Bonzo(1951), and all around Swell Guy, Ronald Reagan, and the Son of God Himself, our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. So I think Americans shouldn't feel bad when Ronaldo utterly destroys their silly team, and Germans should pay their proper respects, as it's greatness that flows through Ronaldo's veins. Electronico6 fucked around with this message at 23:20 on May 26, 2014 |
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May 26, 2014 23:17
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tetsman posted:yeah this, next zhe'll bore us with pics of zher boyfriend wearing all the chinese counterfeit shirts from zher best teams. Yawn, goodbye troll. You put in far too much work to get to that. Machinegunboyo posted:As a straight dude, I'm glad I'm not crazy insecure and have to hate ronaldo just because he's awesome, sexy as hell and the greatest footballer alive. I'd play beach volleyball with him and have sex with him for sure. Like I say, having spent a bunch of time in Portugal, been to Stadio Algarve etc. I like to see them do well. I'm just not a fan of the him in particular. I was more of a fan of Figo (pre and post pig's head), Deco et al. back in the day, just not CR7.
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May 26, 2014 23:20
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Unreasonably Tan Man Bruno Alves was kicking people in Turkey this season, just a heads up OP.
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May 26, 2014 23:32
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vivisectvnv posted:Unreasonably Tan Man Bruno Alves was kicking people in Turkey this season, just a heads up OP. Wow, mods?
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May 27, 2014 00:15
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vivisectvnv posted:Unreasonably Tan Man Bruno Alves was kicking people in Turkey this season, just a heads up OP. His dad's first name is Washington.
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May 27, 2014 00:15
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Drogadon posted:one of the best images to ever exist on this internet, quote if you lol every time
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May 27, 2014 00:39
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vivisectvnv posted:Unreasonably Tan Man Bruno Alves was kicking people in Turkey this season, just a heads up OP. Forgot about this. He's a dirty oval office wherever he goes, I'm glad he's on our side.
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May 27, 2014 01:10
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