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 Yes, the show replacing Hannibal is whatever the gently caress this is, starring John Malkovich as Blackbeard. Seriously. There's probably little need to go into detail about the show, because just from that sentence you've learned pretty much everything you need to know. But, I'll let the show describe itself: quote:From Neil Cross, the award-winning creator of "Luther," comes "Crossbones," a compelling new one-hour drama filled with extraordinary action, adventure and intrigue - set in a world where one can never be sure just who is hero and who is villain. That all sounds really dumb. There's not much else to say, really. I'll give it an episode and see how it goes. Early reviews have been somewhat tepid but it doesn't sound too terrible. Crossbones premieres Friday, May 30 at 10 PM EDT. Trailer Christ, that accent.
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May 30, 2014 04:57
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I hope this show is a quarter as good as Black Sails, but I doubt it.
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May 30, 2014 05:34
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Wow, this is a real bad idea.
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May 30, 2014 08:02
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I might watch the pilot, just to see how terrible it all is. Just a reminder for others that you can watch season 1 of the other new pirate show, Black Sails on amazon. They are different shows but come on, compare the trailers and check out this one if Crossbones didn't float your ship. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvxpv_fycl8 drunkill fucked around with this message at 18:41 on May 30, 2014 |
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May 30, 2014 18:36
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Not gonna lie; this looks absolutely terrible.
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May 30, 2014 21:15
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Well, I'll be checking this out but what the hell is John Malkovich doing on TV? Secondly the woman in the trailer had a striking resemblance to Elanor Guthrie from Black Sails.
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May 30, 2014 21:59
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MrAristocrates posted:Trailer You backed the wrong horse, NBC.  I'll be watching just to see the scene in the trailer where Malkovich acupunctures his own head.
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May 31, 2014 00:51
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This is the best and worst idea for a show.
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May 31, 2014 03:02
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This is essentially AC4 the TV show.
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May 31, 2014 03:11
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John looks bored
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May 31, 2014 03:13
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Yar matey, twas a spooky ghost that entered my cabin. Fetch me brown pants. Edit: Ah, I like comedy relief/exposition machine/Monkey. OMG JC a Bomb! fucked around with this message at 03:34 on May 31, 2014 |
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May 31, 2014 03:23
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John Malcovich plays famous pirate Whitegoatee in a stunning new drama. Fridays this fall on nbc.
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May 31, 2014 04:02
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That one henchman guy had a good Michael Berryman look going. You need that in a Friday night pirate show.
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May 31, 2014 04:10
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Soooo is the consensus that this was in fact as bad as it looked? I had to work so I missed it...
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May 31, 2014 05:18
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It's absolutely as bad as it looked. Only got through half the episode before turning it off. If you're making a show about pirates and have John Malkovich in a starring role and the pilot is just mind numbingly boring you're doing something incredibly wrong.
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May 31, 2014 06:48
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Astrofig posted:Soooo is the consensus that this was in fact as bad as it looked? I had to work so I missed it... It was a bit of a mess. Malkovich did a decent job, less yo-ho-ho pirate, and more psychopath 'I will kill you the moment it becomes convenient for me' pirate. That's a bit of damning with faint praise, because I'm pretty sure if you could film Malkovich reading the phone book in a creepy way. It had something like a half-dozen go nowhere plots that seem to be setting up plot points for future episodes, but just seemed to come out of nowhere for a scene or two then nothing. The Richard Coyle 'superspy' didn't really work, because he was just set up to be too perfect. He's basically Batman. He's a doctor/assassin/spy/badass fighter. (Nothing against Richard Coyle, he pretty much stole the show on Coupling.)
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May 31, 2014 08:29
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I hated how little violence they showed. The fight at the beginning felt so tame. Every time someone was stabbed or injured they cut away really fast before you saw anything. That's not very piratey 
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May 31, 2014 12:30
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That plot summary sounds like it was stolen from a press release for a Professor Layton mystery.
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May 31, 2014 12:43
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So this is the 300 year old British rear end in a top hat that wrecked the longitudinal chronometer. Thanks to this fucker we still have pirates to this day.
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May 31, 2014 13:59
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Was ok for network tv but it just reminded me why I never watch network tv
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May 31, 2014 15:14
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"Whitebeard sees a ghost" was one of the most hilariously bad scenes I've seen on any show
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May 31, 2014 16:36
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Mr. Carlisle posted:"Whitebeard sees a ghost" was one of the most hilariously bad scenes I've seen on any show I also like that assistant character who is just there to explain/be explained everything to the audience, it pretty much ruins every chance of actual dramatic tension, you know the network asked for it. It would have worked a lot better if they just have him doing all his nonsensical spy stuff alone and without explaining anything and they kept the "BLACKBEARD MUST DIE!" flashback for the end of the episode when he decides not to let him die but whatever, apparently there nothing more spy-like than explaining everything out loud.
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May 31, 2014 17:56
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It was like an hour long reminder to just watch Black Sails instead.
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May 31, 2014 18:07
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This show is already way better than Black Sails. Whenever Malkovich is on-screen, his run-on tooth-gnashing scenery chewing just keeps me absolutely loving entranced. Black Sails didn't grab me at all. I think I stuck around for like 5 episodes. This is more fun and pulpy and feels a little more focused, where Black Sails had a bunch of characters I didn't give a poo poo about soaking up screen time. Firstborn fucked around with this message at 19:25 on May 31, 2014 |
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May 31, 2014 19:21
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Probably didn't help that both shows have nearly identical plots if you just replace ships navigation log with cypher for the books schematics for a navigation doohickey, complete with a character destroying the original and memorizing the important parts so they won't be killed. At least the Silver-esque character is a doctor and not a cook.
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May 31, 2014 23:11
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Firstborn posted:This show is already way better than Black Sails. Whenever Malkovich is on-screen, his run-on tooth-gnashing scenery chewing just keeps me absolutely loving entranced. I dunno, I think it's pretty generous to describe anything in that pilot as focused storytelling. If anything the entire thing felt like it was all over the god drat place. I don't think a single character interaction felt natural or earned. I know that it's a pilot so they just had to squeeze as much stuff into it as possible, but there was just zero effort made to give any part of what happens a natural development. Oh and also literally nothing about the plot makes a lick of sense at all, and a downright silly amount of things are done in the pilot solely for the sake of the plot and not for any logical reason. I'll keep watching for at least a few more episodes since there isn't much else on right now, but they're going to have to iron out a whole lot of kinks for me to stick with it.
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Jun 1, 2014 04:42
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MrAristocrates posted:
Literally everything in that sentence is a lie except for the title and "new one-hour" and that part's only technically true. I was bored out of my skull 35 minutes in.
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Jun 1, 2014 05:09
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Toplowtech posted:"I HAVE TO KILL BLACKBEARD <dramatic pose> TONIGHT!" Yeah, and then they randomly spot some people on the beach and then have to save him. What a mess.
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Jun 1, 2014 10:45
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This is worse than I feared. I normally love John Malkovich, but he can't save this ship. When is Black Sails coming back again?
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Jun 1, 2014 16:32
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Between this poo poo and Black Sails, I really wish someone would bring back Hornblower already http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad-hYMmvctY
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Jun 1, 2014 16:40
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I guess I meant "focused" by having a smaller cast. I know there's probably some hurt feelings over Hannibal, and probably some bias if you really liked Black Sails, but I think John Malkovich is pretty good in this. Not a huge fan of the character of Lowe or how Batman he is, but whenever Malkovich was on-screen, I was having fun. Just the way he talks, and the lines he has are all very badass. He does this weird run-on sentences thing completely nonchalant and (what my girlfriend calls) "talking with his teeth". I don't expect too much out of this show, but it's on a day I hardly watch anything, so I can't complain.
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Jun 1, 2014 16:56
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Firstborn posted:I don't expect too much out of this show, but it's on a day I hardly watch anything, so I can't complain. True, it's not like I have anything else to do on Friday nights. 
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Jun 1, 2014 17:09
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Firstborn posted:I guess I meant "focused" by having a smaller cast. I know there's probably some hurt feelings over Hannibal, and probably some bias if you really liked Black Sails, but I think John Malkovich is pretty good in this. Not a huge fan of the character of Lowe or how Batman he is, but whenever Malkovich was on-screen, I was having fun. Just the way he talks, and the lines he has are all very badass. He does this weird run-on sentences thing completely nonchalant and (what my girlfriend calls) "talking with his teeth". It's always a pleasure to see John Malkovich, even in poo poo like this.
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Jun 1, 2014 18:02
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If Whitebeard's pirates are meeting with the Spaniards, wouldn't it make more sense to let Whitebeard die and try to make it back home to warn the Britain? Why was saving Malkovich important in any way?
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Jun 1, 2014 20:23
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PerilPastry posted:Between this poo poo and Black Sails, I really wish someone would They should get Ioan Gruffudd to reprise the role if they ever do it. He was great and made those miniseries enjoyable to watch. He was (is) cute as hell, too, which also helped matters. edit: also there should be a Hornblower/Sharpe crossover if we're talking about longshots that will never happen.
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Jun 1, 2014 21:13
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I think this show would be so much better if it lived up to its thread tag line and just had John Malkovich go to Somalia, get a ship, get a crew and be a pirate.
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Jun 1, 2014 21:50
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johntfs posted:I think this show would be so much better if it lived up to its thread tag line and just had John Malkovich go to Somalia, get a ship, get a crew and be a pirate. gently caress. Yes. Alternatively an entire show of Archer taking the "pirate king" idea seriously. The whole, "I'm not gonna be a pirate... I'm gonna be a PIRATE. KING." bit was a crowning moment of awesome that really deserved better execution. I feel like "pirate king" was probably Archer's true calling.
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Jun 1, 2014 23:20
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Crossbones did not float my ship. It seems like it's just trying to ride on the coattails of the more successful Black Sails, which, with all its faults, is a superior show in my opinion. I got about ten minutes in and removed it from my Sickbeard. e: Reminds me of a pirate show for kids. The score is awful and really ruins the whole tone of the show. I kept expecting Matthew Modine and Gina Davis to show up, but alas, I couldn't watch it long enough. life is killing me fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Jun 2, 2014 |
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Jun 2, 2014 04:57
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I guess Bear McCreary was already booked.
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Jun 2, 2014 05:30
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I really wanted to like this, I love pirates and Malkovich. Which is why I'm wondering how they managed to make this so drat boring? Does anyone know how the budget between this and Black Sails compare? Black Sails looks so much better.
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