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Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
The last wipe should always be with a baby wipe you mongoloids.

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TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

gary oldmans diary posted:

maybe your poo poo wasnt coming out fast enough for you and you pinched it off and now remnants of the turd paste held in place by your sphincter are let loose as you move

please don't act like the people in this thread are rookie wipers. i would know if i didn't get everything outside the sphincter. this is extremely insulting

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
Wiping is not the issue. I'll poo poo, wipe thoroughly and then work for an hour or so and then be struck with the realization that I have to wipe again

Hobohemian
Sep 30, 2005

by XyloJW

mookface posted:

Wiping is not the issue. I'll poo poo, wipe thoroughly and then work for an hour or so and then be struck with the realization that I have to wipe again

Try boxer briefs.

Kyrie eleison
Jan 26, 2013

by Ralp

mookface posted:

Wiping is not the issue. I'll poo poo, wipe thoroughly and then work for an hour or so and then be struck with the realization that I have to wipe again

you are in the right and all of these people have skids.

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

if i'm 25 and i wipe an average of 3-4 times a session that means i've wiped almost 30k times or more in my lifetime

that's a LOT of wiping. i think malcolm gladwell says if you do something 10000 times you become a pro. i'm a master asswipe just like him

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002


Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

mookface posted:

Like for no reason it's been like hours since your last bowel movement and you haven't really been farty or anything but you just know things aren't right down there. Maybe after a long drive or something and youre all 'poo poo, I've got to wipe my rear end' and you do and it turned out to be a pretty good idea. How does this happen?

sure, why not? there's really no down side.

Dr. Video Games 0112
Jan 7, 2004

serious business
Perk of being old and fat instead of dying young and crazy. Poop whenever wherever.

David Copperfield
Mar 14, 2004


im david copperfield
wait are we talking about having to wipe your rear end randomly because of poop or just sweat

if you buy a gold bond buttplug it could probably solve the latter

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

THS posted:

please don't act like the people in this thread are rookie wipers. i would know if i didn't get everything outside the sphincter. this is extremely insulting
im saying how some poo poo isnt on the outside of the anus until well after the wiping is done to completion

not a rookie wiper you say
you dont even understand anus mechanics 101

Kyrie eleison
Jan 26, 2013

by Ralp

gary oldmans diary posted:

im saying how poo poo isnt on the outside of the anus until well after the wiping is done to completion

not a rookie wiper you say
you dont even understand anus mechanics 101

these scrubs have never used an rear end before

a gay lion named Tangiers
Jul 30, 2013
i have gotten kind of itchy in that area before

when i take care of it i feel like a worthless human being but at the same time i'm like "this feels amazing, why doesn't everyone do this?"

i imagine it's how heroin addicts feel

Bad Titty Puker
Nov 3, 2007
Soiled Meat
I strongly suggest itemizing everything that could be back there, viz.: stray fecal bits, dingleberries, butt sweat, rectal mucus, blood, tiny fibers from the TP, etc. Break it down so as to analyze it.

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

gary oldmans diary posted:

im saying how some poo poo isnt on the outside of the anus until well after the wiping is done to completion

not a rookie wiper you say
you dont even understand anus mechanics 101

He knows his way around an anus

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

i've douched cavities you goons wouldn't believe... erect penises on fire spurting past my shoulder. i watched fruit flavored condoms glitter in the dark near my tannhauser gate. all those.. moments.. will be lost in time, like *cough* fecal matter... in.. a toilet. time.. to poop...

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit
prolapsed anus

Laputanmachine
Oct 31, 2010

by Smythe

mookface posted:

Like for no reason it's been like hours since your last bowel movement and you haven't really been farty or anything but you just know things aren't right down there. Maybe after a long drive or something and youre all 'poo poo, I've got to wipe my rear end' and you do and it turned out to be a pretty good idea. How does this happen?

Just to be on the safe side, go have a talk with a doctor. I had that kind of poo poo happen to me occasionally, but I just counted it on me being a goonlord who doesn't always eat well and who tends to burn the midnight oil occasionally. It always stopped once I cleaned up my act, but came back if I started gooning it up again. Then I had to take some antibiotics due to an infected bugbite, got horrible horrible diarrhoea that just wouldn't stop, got to hospital, the doctors were all "this poo poo ain't right", did colonoscopy, turns out ALL of my colon was completely inflamed, and it was some form of Crohn's that had been quietly brewing there, until the antibiotics triggered it.

I'm better now, although I have to be careful with what I eat, but seriously, you might have something going on in your bowels. Ask your doctor to stick a camera up your rear end. It'll be worth it.

macky2dope
Jun 11, 2012

meow haha whoa!!
:420: :420: :420: :420: :420:
ya sometimes, ill get like 5 mins to poop at work and rush the wipe-job but don't realize it till like 10 mins after I go back to wOrk

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004
too much olestra causing anal leakage but i just gotta have my wow chips

porkchop_express fucked around with this message at 09:35 on May 31, 2014

Bleu
Jul 19, 2006

maybe wipe your butt a little sooner, if you hang out on the toilet too long it gets dry and harder to get off with just TP

30 minutes of butt sweat later and now your asscrack is a new delhi alleyway

you can test this yourself by wiping until it's coming off clean, then getting some TP wet and then rubbing it on your butt (or just use a wet wipe). did it come off dirty? problem identified

i hope you appreciate this 'lifehack' for swamp rear end, OP.

Bleu fucked around with this message at 09:42 on May 31, 2014

Cyks
Mar 17, 2008

The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life

Bleu posted:

maybe wipe your butt a little sooner, if you hang out on the toilet too long it gets dry and harder to get off with just TP

30 minutes of butt sweat later and now your asscrack is a new delhi alleyway

you can test this yourself by wiping until it's coming off clean, then getting some TP wet and then rubbing it on your butt (or just use a wet wipe). did it come off dirty? problem identified

i hope you appreciate this 'lifehack' for swamp rear end, OP.

There's water directly underneath your butt how do you not have wet tp?

cargo cult
Aug 28, 2008

by Reene
yeah, when im on stimulants =\

Fog Tripper
Mar 3, 2008

by Smythe
tucks + talcum = comfort

Fog Tripper
Mar 3, 2008

by Smythe

THS posted:

i've douched cavities you goons wouldn't believe... erect penises on fire spurting past my shoulder. i watched fruit flavored condoms glitter in the dark near my tannhauser gate. all those.. moments.. will be lost in time, like *cough* fecal matter... in.. a toilet. time.. to poop...

:golfclap:

GUYS STOP
Jun 7, 2003
Grimey Drawer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPoQHHxqmmE&t=77s

overseer07
Mar 30, 2003
Pillbug
Sometimes you just gotta scrape down the sides a little

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat
Why, yes, yes I do.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 11 hours!
many artificial sweeteners can cause anal leakage

hth op

BONE DOG
Jun 7, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

THS posted:

i've douched cavities you goons wouldn't believe... erect penises on fire spurting past my shoulder. i watched fruit flavored condoms glitter in the dark near my tannhauser gate. all those.. moments.. will be lost in time, like *cough* fecal matter... in.. a toilet. time.. to poop...

This is the most beautiful post I have ever read

Zeno-25
Dec 5, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
http://youtu.be/F93ssIqlrAU?t=15s

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

THS posted:

i've douched cavities you goons wouldn't believe... erect penises on fire spurting past my shoulder. i watched fruit flavored condoms glitter in the dark near my tannhauser gate. all those.. moments.. will be lost in time, like *cough* fecal matter... in.. a toilet. time.. to poop...
a true hero :patriot:

David Copperfield
Mar 14, 2004


im david copperfield

porkchop_express posted:

too much olestra causing anal leakage but i just gotta have my wow chips

uG
Apr 23, 2003

by Ralp
op maybe you have a hemmroid lettin poop by

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rcman50166
Mar 23, 2010

by XyloJW
not usually, op

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