|
SHOULD YOU WATCH THIS EVENT? Underwhelming build? Check. Feuds that feel like they’ve been going on forever? Check. Lack of Daniel Bryan? Check. I don’t care. On the Daniel Bryan Danielson Excitement Scale, I don’t care. Watch Best of the Super Juniors instead or something.  Welcome to Chicago, home of a guy who used to work here but now doesn’t but maybe he’ll return tonight and maybe he won’t he says he’s retired but they keep chanting his name and it’s never going to stop. This is the second annual Payback event, and like last year’s card, it looks fairly undesirable! Since Daniel Bryan got his neck broken by Kane throwing him around, the card suddenly looks a lot more weak than it did a few weeks ago. The matches should be good from a workrate perspective, but the builds have been so rote and cookie-cutter and repetitive and repetitive and repetitive that it makes it difficult to care. There are currently six matches scheduled for the main card, with another on the preshow. Let’s look at them, shall we?   THE PRESHOW STARTS AT 7:30 EST AND IS GOING TO BE REALLY GOOD I BET The only feud with actual stakes and logical progression in the WWE, the El Torito vs. Hornswoggle feud has finally reached its conclusion: a luchas de apuestas match pitting El Torito’s mask vs. Hornswoggle’s hair. After a WeeLC match that stole the show at last month’s PPV, the two minis continued fighting, with Torito gaining wins over Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre in the process. Finally, the feud reached an unforgivable point last week, with Hornswoggle ripping off El Torito’s tail. The two rivals will settle their differences tonight with huge stakes on the line. Although, if El Torito found so much pain from losing his tail, wouldn’t tearing off his mask be like a beheading? Cartoon physics are confusing!  Rob Van Dam won a Beat the Clock challenge to face Wade Barrett. Wade Barrett has bad news. The bad news is that they will fight and it will be sloppy and probably bad.  Rusev likes the Clippers and hates black people. Coincidence?  Alicia Fox has recently become the latest woman in the “one Diva in the division is allowed to have a personality” stage, taking AJ Lee’s crazy gimmick to an entirely new level, going crazy at ringside, demanding announcers’ lunch money, giving ring crew atomic wedgies, and Stone Colding orange Fanta. Paige is meek and timid and not as good as the rest of the Diva’s division, getting beat up a lot and hitting a flash move to win, and not being allowed to have a personality. They’re having a match!  Since turning face for a night and immediately heel the night after WrestleMania, Cesaro has been floating in the Rob Van Dam ether, fighting and fighting and fighting. You know who else loves to fight? Sheamus won the United States Championship in an Authority-backed battle royal, and immediately showed signs of a heel turn. Daniel Bryan’s neck injury seemed to put the kibosh on it, and he moved into a feud with Cesaro, two freakishly strong men hitting each other with everything in their arsenal. Fight fight fight.  He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got the little bittle baby in his hands. He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got the whole Cenation in his hands. He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got the little bittle baby in his hands. He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got the whole Cenation in his hands. He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got the little bittle baby in his hands. He’s got the whole world in his hands. He’s got the whole Cenation in his hands. (repeat 5000x) Last Man Standing match. Devil child. Satan reincarnated. John Cena. John Cena? John Cena  Here comes the fuckin’ fireworks factory. Since having a great match last month at Extreme Rules, the action between the Shield and Evolution has only ramped up, with sneak attacks all over the building, loss of titles, and beatdown after beatdown have led to this: a no DQ no holds barred elimination match between two of the most powerful factions in the WWE. This match is sure to be good, especially given the pedigree (pun intended) of the people in this match. Good match. Fun as heck. Our saving grace from the rest of this card. ALSO ON PAYBACK: Daniel Bryan must forfeit his championship to Stephanie McMahon or Brie Bella gets fired oh my god seriously ---- Be sure to make your picks in the WH2KPSP Prediction game, where I am almighty god king and emperor and great dude. Also on Fourdown although I’m not sure that anybody does Fourdown anymore. Do it anyway! All this and more, live from Chicago!
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 18:32
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 3, 2024 23:19 |
|
|
Daniel Bryan is a terrible champion and tonight we'll find out if he's a terrible husband too
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 19:01
|
|
|
I look forward to seeing baldswoggle. Rest of the card will probably be okay unless they book bullshit in each match.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 19:12
|
|
|
oatgan posted:Daniel Bryan is a terrible champion and tonight we'll find out if he's a terrible husband too really all this terrible poo poo happening to DB is like a built-in heel turn. it's "Cena Had The Worst Year" except with facts to back it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 19:31
|
|
|
I am excited for a Sheamus match. gently caress this special event. Shield/Evolution will be like 4 stars.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 19:45
|
|
|
I can't wait to see Barrett kill RVD so I can go and play Mario Kart instead.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 19:58
|
|
|
Thanks for the prediction game plug Maddox!
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 20:16
|
|
|
Hoping (praying) that the potential good matches deliver but man that build 
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 20:27
|
|
|
If Cena wins I WILL complain on the internet.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 20:30
|
|
|
Let's Go The Shield. With no infighting, please and thanks.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 20:35
|
|
|
Daniel Bryan looks so much better in that gif up top than he does with his current look. Please go back to that, Bryan. e: Its probably best to give Shield/Evolution nearly 45 minutes in hopes of making this show not suck. Maybe we'll get lucky and a Big Show or ADR match will be added to the PPV at the beginning.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:03
|
|
|
oldpainless posted:e: Its probably best to give Shield/Evolution nearly 45 minutes in hopes of making this show not suck. How about a 45 minute Big Show vs Del Rio match 
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:08
|
|
|
This card stinks but the Shield match will probably be good and the Cena match will probably be hilariously bad. I'm torn.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:10
|
|
|
I always thought it was 'toot sweet', which doesn't make any sense, but I swear they add a T at the end of TOO. Barrett is stuck with the bloated corpse of RVD for his first ppv title match in five years, which I am not down with. Sheamus hits gold with Cesaro -- I expect a MOTY or HMOTY or one of those.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:14
|
|
|
xNarUtoRKOrton420x posted:How about a 45 minute Big Show vs Del Rio match Big Show vs Del Rio is the highest quality program either man has had in years 
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:14
|
|
|
I hope Hornswoggle vs El Torito is half as good as the WeeLC match.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:15
|
|
|
Please let Cena win so this feud can finally end
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:17
|
|
|
Tonfa posted:Big Show vs Del Rio is the highest quality program either man has had in years Del Rio vs Ziggler was the tits,
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:19
|
|
|
xNarUtoRKOrton420x posted:Del Rio vs Ziggler was the tits, They had a great match and followed it up with
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:22
|
|
|
Supreme Allah posted:I always thought it was 'toot sweet', which doesn't make any sense, but I swear they add a T at the end of TOO. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:27
|
|
|
Supreme Allah posted:I always thought it was 'toot sweet', which doesn't make any sense, but I swear they add a T at the end of TOO. too sweet me Supreme Allah too sweet me Bard Maddox
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:30
|
|
|
Sweeney Tom posted:Please let Cena win so this feud can finally end
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:33
|
|
|
Too Sweet Me Bard
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:36
|
|
|
save_us.rapadoo please win this feud and end it and get bray into a feud with someone else so i can start giving a poo poo about him thanks too sweet me 
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:36
|
|
|
rapadoooooooooo
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:38
|
|
|
yep this bray feud has reached that point where some cena feuds get where you just end up begging cena to win and end it congrats wwe
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:40
|
|
|
NickRoweFillea posted:too sweet me Bard Maddox Too sweet. Daniel Bryan posted:Too Sweet Me Bard Too Sweet! Joey McChrist posted:
TOOOOO SWEEEEEET!!!
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:42
|
|
|
Bard Maddox posted:Too sweet. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:44
|
|
|
Ryback main evented this show last year. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:45
|
|
|
brays time is up, cenas time is now
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:46
|
|
|
bradzilla posted:Ryback main evented this show last year.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 21:50
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:00
|
|
|
I saw Wrestlemania alone in a packed theatre but even that small crowd environment (literally a bit of every demographic) was amazing, also helped by the fact that the show was great (the Taker reaction had this great collective shock, the German dude in the 90 year old couple sitting next to me in the front row was fuckin livid). I'm in the half that enjoyed to campiness of Extreme Rules and regret not going again. I'm thinking I'll turn PPVs into a free Sunday night thing until I run into a sting of duds or something. After growing up on Raw, and years of stealing this poo poo, they've finally hooked me to a revenue stream I am more than willing to contribute to (even for lesser shows like this one is projected to be). That's why Vince is the greatest combat promoter of all time.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:10
|
|
|
bradzilla posted:Ryback main evented this show last year. he went through an ambulance
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:11
|
|
|
So, a CM Punk appearance is probably the only thing that'll make this show interesting? (translation: nothing will make this show interesting)
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:16
|
|
|
I cannot believe how unexcited I am for this. I barely want to see anything. The Shield vs Evolution is going to be cool, but they have fought on every Raw (never officially, but every show ends with all 6 brawling) had a match at the last PPV, etc. El Torito vs. Hornswoggle cannot top WeeLC, which was awesome. The rest, I honestly do not care. The Divas and Sheamus vs Cesaro might be good, but I don't really care about them. Of course, in 2 hours I will probably be in front of my TV anyway. You win again Vince!
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:23
|
|
|
Ribsauce posted:Of course, in 2 hours I will probably be in front of my TV anyway. You win again Vince! What's the quote, 'this is the worst PPV I've ever seen and I'm not buying another one until next month'?
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:31
|
|
|
Luigi Thirty posted:What's the quote, 'this is the worst PPV I've ever seen and I'm not buying another one until next month'? At least we have the WWE Network excuse now.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:42
|
|
|
I hope John Cena overcomes his fear of small singing children by giving that child the FU and then puts him in the STFU.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:42
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 3, 2024 23:19 |
|
|
I know a lot of people are already trashing this PPV but I think we have two ***(+) matches, the theatrics of Cena/Wyatt, and a possible good divas match in Alicia/Paige. I'm sure lots of people will be saying this PPV suprised them by tomorrow.
|
|
#
?
Jun 1, 2014 22:56
|
|