|
|
scientists know how to make a replicator like in star trek, but they dont wanna do it because they think people will call them nerds about it |
#
?
Jun 3, 2014 23:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 2, 2024 18:51 |
|
|
|
hosed up if true |
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2014 23:53
|
|
| mawwwm bill nye wont sharrre with meee | |
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2014 23:55
|
|
|
|
the guy who knows how to cure cancer is waiting for his pain in the rear end father in law to die first before he publishes |
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2014 23:55
|
|
|
"c'mon charles darwin quit hogging ur research" "no" "c'moooooonnnnnn lemme see evolutionnnnn" "no it's mine" |
|
|
#
?
Jun 3, 2014 23:57
|
|
|
|
The psychologist who cured depression is just waiting for you to get really sad so he can jack up the price |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:06
|
|
|
|
Psychiatrist: I made myself permanently happy, and that's enough for me |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:08
|
|
|
|
it turns out the secret to true happiness is to discover the secret of true happiness and keep it to yourself |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:09
|
|
|
|
reporter: the science duo of sterns and lomach have just announced that theyve found a cure for aids that they can deploy as a mist from an airplane. wow thats just great. im here with.. lomach: it's lomach and sterns reporter: uh sorry? lomach: i did most of the work reporter: yes, well can you speak about how you managed to.. lomach: sterns pretty much just got me coffee, it was all me reporter: ..how you managed to.. lomach: if i dont get knighted for this im gonna be so pissed |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:18
|
|
|
|
dogcrash truther posted:Psychiatrist: I made myself permanently happy, and that's enough for me |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:19
|
|
|
|
WetNightmare posted:"c'mon charles darwin quit hogging ur research" hahahahahah 
|
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:20
|
|
|
|
*scientist stands up at a press conference with a lot of reporters sitting ready to take notes* scientist: ahem yes, well, im pleased to announce that we have found the cure for cancer. all you have to do is co- *hot girl reporter walks in wearing sexy high heels and a hot push up bra* *scientist wipes sweat from brow, tugs at shirt collar* scientist: uhh yes uh as i was saying um.. actually could you, uh, excuse me for uh just a second *scientist runs and pukes in the bathroom and totally forgets the cure* |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:24
|
|
|
|
they say the sea level is rising, but really they just wanna snatch up all the beach front property on the cheap |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:25
|
|
|
|
beer pal posted:reporter: the science duo of sterns and lomach have just announced that theyve found a cure for aids that they can deploy as a mist from an airplane. wow thats just great. im here with.. |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:32
|
|
|
|
i bet scientists invented cancer in the first place |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:32
|
|
|
|
little kid runs up to cool scientist wow cna i have your autograph i loved it when you figured out that math problem outta the way kid im on my way to get an award i dont have time for you *shoves hand in kids face and pushes him to the ground*  oh sorry kid here let me help you up *reaches his hand down but just when kid is about to grab it scientist pulls it away and runs it through his hair* haha see ya later sucker *gets in his toyota camry and zooms off* |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:37
|
|
|
|
pussy scientist: I ate all the pussy. My bad. |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:39
|
|
|
|
dogcrash truther posted:pussy scientist: I ate all the pussy. Too bad. |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:40
|
|
|
|
scientist: milgram i thought we weren't going to let subjects actually actually shock people, just pretend like they were milgram: where's your sense of adventure *reaches over and turns shock lvl to max* [over the screams in agony] milgram: god i'm so glad the irb doesn't exist yet |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:43
|
|
|
|
Reset Button posted:scientist: milgram i thought we weren't going to let subjects actually actually shock people, just pretend like they were |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:43
|
|
|
|
newton: how abt we figure out why deez nuts always fall in ur gay rear end face |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:44
|
|
| dr frankenstein took a vacation around the world to get away from his kid that is pretty selfish | |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 01:47
|
|
|
|
how does light go through space if theres nothing there?? a question burning in the hearts of mankind ofr centuries. well as a really good and respected scientist id like to tell you that i got high on opium last night, and i was like, what if there IS something there? and there is and its called the Luminiferous aether, you fuckers |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 02:53
|
|
|
|
phd student: aww yeah i totally finished my secret cured aids paper. now time to put my name- *realizes prof he works under gets his name as first on paper* f-gently caress! *plots to kill prof so he wont steal his glory* *spends years thinkingof foolproof way to kill prof and get away with it* *dies in freak lab accident* *paper never published* |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 03:15
|
|
| "I've finally done it. A safe, one way portal into the anime world. Goodbye, body, I will not your disgusting 3Dness in the Chosen Land *presses button of hydraulic press that flattens him utterly*" | |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 04:20
|
|
| Rick is pretty selfish so this stereotype holds weight imo | |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 04:48
|
|
|
|
im no scientist |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 04:48
|
|
|
I have called this press conference to let everyone know that we have performed extensive testing and analysis, and concluded objectively that science has not gone too far. I will not be taking any questions. *crosses arms and skitters away on shoe-skates made from live, generically engineered rats* |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 04:53
|
|
|
TiMBuS posted:I have called this press conference to let everyone know that we have performed extensive testing and analysis, and concluded objectively that science has not gone too far. I will not be taking any questions. |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 04:56
|
|
|
ken ham: can i have some science bill nye: lol no |
|
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:04
|
|
|
|
i mean look at those dudes who came up with the atom bomb. all they did was show japan how it worked, then boom. none for the rest of us. |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:09
|
|
|
|
TiMBuS posted:I have called this press conference to let everyone know that we have performed extensive testing and analysis, and concluded objectively that science has not gone too far. I will not be taking any questions. lol |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:12
|
|
|
I have discovered something amazing it is a new discovery of utmost abasement I have invented a new menthol breath mint it kills on contact with human excrement. |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:15
|
|
|
|
[scientist is in a bar, nursing a beer. he looks five minutes from sobbing hysterically.] bartender: what's wrong? scientist: i found the cure for cancer. bartender: jesus, that's great! but uh, i don't understand what the problem is here... scientist: it's loving great for people with cancer but they made me fourth author on the paper! [scientist then downs beer and sobs] |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:32
|
|
|
|
honestly just pretend i posted every whine about authorship on papers itt |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:33
|
|
|
|
I Dunno posted:phd student: aww yeah i totally finished my secret cured aids paper. now time to put my name- im claiming first author on this post |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:35
|
|
|
|
how do we know science is even real in order to understand all the science you have to go to science school so then you just spent a bunch of money on science and the only way to make money is to pretend to be science but really theyre just playing unreal tournament 2004 and stealing our tax dollars fuckin nerds |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:35
|
|
|
* discovers cure for malaria * aw poo poo only poor people catch this * crumples up paper and burns it * oh well |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:41
|
|
|
|
SCIENTIST: I have invented a new yellow food dye SCIENTIST: it's called Yellow 45 ASSISTANT: But it's made of the same chemicals as other yellow dyes ASSISTANT: isn't it the same thing? SCIENTIST: uh NO |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 05:54
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 2, 2024 18:51 |
|
|
Can we truuely better others lives without first trying to better our own? Ive invented everything i thout i wanted, but still there is a void in me. I smash my empty whiskey glass on the ground and a real life replica of Rosie from the Jetsons in a bikini comes out of a sliding wall to clean it up. "your poo poo. youre filth. you never loved me mom" i hiss at it thru clenched teeth and punch its cold steel chassis. the LED eyes flicker as its neural network processes my input, before deciding to silently teeter back to the crawlspace. |
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2014 06:06
|
|