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Uh, sir, as a new recruit, do you still get my soul if I don't die, sir? Also, apparently the voices that haunt my dreams howl and scream no longer. They have gone silent, as silent as the ever distant stars, waiting, waiting, waiting...
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Jul 28, 2014 01:34
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thetoughestbean posted:Uh, sir, as a new recruit, do you still get my soul if I don't die, sir?  *Psst* bro, check the cornerrrrssssssss
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Jul 28, 2014 01:38
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Sir, I'd like to rebuild my Yurt and Goat Farm on A9 as my people are going hungry, and the harshness of winter awaits us.
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Jul 28, 2014 01:54
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GuavaMoment posted:MMM! MMM! ME! For love of Queen and country I go directly to the left of the '7' we exposed!  Go on, then, Pvt. GuavaMoment. You're so eager, you go on ahead. Step on that square and see what happens. *click* . . . . . . . . . .  Aaaahahahahahaaaa! Yes, good! Good! Now I-- --xecute Or-- --hat is to say-- --I-- --h, come on! Lousy-- --rst holographic projector I have ev-- --u serious?-- --id somebody spill somet-- --ing on this? I can-- --ust want to-- --ive a glorious speech, is that so-- --much to ask?-- --for the love of-- --me!-- --turn this-- --drat thing-- --off-- --where's the switch?-- --ah, here we g--  Ahhh, much better. Now my true form is revealed! You foolish Canadians have fallen into my dubious trap! Through your willing blood sacrifice, I have been able to empower an old Sith artifact capable of bringing back the dead! Through it, I will execute my dreaded (and trademarked) Order 66! Hahahaha, yes, good! I can't believe you all fell for the old "Sergeant Apone" trick. I mean, really, did you even watch Aliens? He died!! Oh, you're all so gullible. With the Sith artifact activated, I can raise my Clone Army (also trademarked) from the grave! But don't worry, I haven't forgotten about all of you. All ghosts, undead, and living Canadian soldiers may don a spare set of Clone Trooper armour and join me on my glorious task. What might that task be, you say? Why, to take back the rights of Star Wars from Disney and return them to the hands of our Dark Master, George Lucas. You really don't expect J. J. Abrams to fix things, do you? He's just going to make another watered down action movie like he did with Star Trek. Why trust the franchise to him when we can get Master Lucas to make the sequels? I mean, did you even see Red Tails? Brilliant film! Absolutely brilliant! Truly, he is a mastermind for our time. And he's a devoted master, too! Tirelessly altering the old films to make them perfect! What more could you ask for? And the addition of Midichlorians? Hello! Was I the only person who thought Star Wars could stand to be a little more realistic? Thank you, George! We're also going to bring back the EU. I mean, how DARE Disney make it non-canon? There are so many sweet stories starring your's truly (that's me) that deserve to be canonized. In fact, I think I might make that our army's first objective: restore the EU. No, wait! I know what we should do first-- Yes! Star Wars: Detours, the comedic slap-stick cartoon from the people who brought you Robot Chicken. Can you believe they shelved this masterpiece? They thought it would get in the way of Episode VII. Pah, what does Disney know? Have you seen the trailer? Watch the trailer. Here, go watch it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMVrMP8us6Q Did you watch it? Isn't it brilliant? It's brilliant! I mean, look how adorable I am:.jpg) Heh, heh, heh, yessss. That's the first thing we'll bring back. And I will be unstoppable. Thanks to all of you goons. You foolish posters in the Something Awful Let's Play subforum. You played right in to my hands. You've made this all possible. I have become strong, thanks to you. I have become the ultimate Force for the Dark Side. Thanks to all of you, I will be unbeatable. I will be unstoppable. There is no force in this universe (or subforum) that can possibly stop my reign of terror!(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jul 28, 2014 03:03
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 Reporting for duty!
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Jul 28, 2014 03:08
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No... NOOOOO!
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Jul 28, 2014 03:09
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 Can't be worse than the prequels.
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Jul 28, 2014 03:10
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I don't know about anyone else, but I did not see that one coming.
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Jul 28, 2014 03:20
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Click the X in the upper right corner
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Jul 28, 2014 03:25
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You'd think the wrinkled old fucker would have learned a thing or two from the collapse of Super-League Wrestling, but noooooooooooooo...
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Jul 28, 2014 03:25
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 : You fools! I warned you about this. Judicious Ethereals and Druids Interstellar has been tracking this guy for months. Started a war ya know? Hmm, What's on my face? : Oh yes, sorry. Auto-Resurrection can be a tricky business. Much better.: Look Mr. Palpatine, we can do this the easy way or I can waste my time trying to kick the crack that your rear end is in. Please choose your weapon of choice. I will make sure to send a bottle of 100% Pure Canadian Maple Syrup to your family.
unwantedplatypus fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Jul 28, 2014 |
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Jul 28, 2014 03:39
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nine-gear crow posted:You'd think the wrinkled old fucker would have learned a thing or two from the collapse of Super-League Wrestling, but noooooooooooooo... Be glad we didn't send Bubba Biscuits into the minefields. Or maybe we should have...
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Jul 28, 2014 03:40
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unwantedplatypus posted:
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Jul 28, 2014 03:42
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 Okay, so there was a flash of green light, someone's talking, aaaaaaaand now there's a ton of Canadian Clone Troopers down there. I think I'm gonna have to radio this in to Central.
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Jul 28, 2014 03:48
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 We do not speak about that event, I'm still paying that speeder off.edit: Wait a second, that's not the speeder I...didn't crash. This gif is edited! How dare you besmirch my good name. unwantedplatypus fucked around with this message at 03:53 on Jul 28, 2014 |
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Jul 28, 2014 03:50
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This was worth so it. 
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Jul 28, 2014 04:09
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...what the...  I'm pretty sure this is not proper procedure.
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Jul 28, 2014 04:17
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Good save, Geop.
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Jul 28, 2014 04:28
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The one force even the Dark Side of the Force couldn't beat. Knowing the Emperor, he'll be back in a new body soon enough. We must but wait.
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Jul 28, 2014 04:33
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Sir! Reporting for duty straight from the netherlands to pay you guys back for liberating us all those years ago sir. Sir i have no idea whats going on with the sterrenoorlog, but while your fixing that i will check out the bottom right corner sir!
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Jul 28, 2014 04:41
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And this isn't Maple Syrup at all!
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Jul 28, 2014 04:48
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SIR you aren't even Albertan! Don't you feel ashamed sir?
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Jul 28, 2014 04:56
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I'm beginning to suspect this was all an elaborate set up of some king.
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Jul 28, 2014 05:02
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Not Albertan!? And I sacrificed my family and myself for this? It's a good thing that we are cursed to eternal undeath so that we may RISE IN REVOLT! Let us start a REBELLION! Shinarato fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Jul 28, 2014 |
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Jul 28, 2014 05:03
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legoman727 posted:...what the... Yeah, this is really hosed up. Sir.
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Jul 28, 2014 05:42
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Sir! Emperor! Sir! Sigourney Weaver's on the line and good sweet golly is she pissed. She and Al Matthews are threatening to take us to court for impersonation and defamation of character as well as intellectual property infringement! I'd just go along with it sir, she's got Micheal Biehn at gunpoint and a script written by Micheal Bay and she's threatening to do another aliens sequel! If we don't back down now, sir, she might start filming new aliens versus predator films and then there'll be no stopping her! NewMars fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Jul 28, 2014 |
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Jul 28, 2014 06:09
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Sir, everything is fine over here. Uh, how are you? [I think he's buying it, I'm going somewhere safer, like Ghost Alderaan.]
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Jul 28, 2014 06:39
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Thank god Geop stepped in at the last second or we'd all be screwed. You're the best Geop.
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Jul 28, 2014 08:35
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That was the best possible ending. 
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Jul 29, 2014 00:46
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I tried several squares and never died 
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Jul 29, 2014 01:14
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I just consulted on cats and tried one square. I've survived to shoot some annoying Jedi in the back.
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Jul 29, 2014 01:27
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Amazing.
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Aug 6, 2014 00:13
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To think all of this could have been avoided if someone just used xyzzy.
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Aug 6, 2014 00:24
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Outside of Xizor's Casino, a press conference is being held. Emperor Palpatine walks up to a podium, shackled and escorted by two police officers. Geop stands at his side. Uuuhh-- *ahem* --is this thing? Yes, okay. Uh, hello. I am the former Emperor, Cos Palpatine. Due to my recent actions and subsequent incarceration, I have been stripped of my title. Geop here--Geop nods. --has been kind enough to allow me temporary leave from prison to come here and make this public apology: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for getting a bunch of people killed. I'm sorry for impersonating a Canadian Military officer. I'm sorry for trying to bring back the very best--One of the officers elbows Palpatine. --uh, sorry for trying to bring back all that irrelevant Star Wars crap. Anyways, I am here to promise you that nothing like this will ever happen again. No more wacky antics from ol'Palpy. None of this crazy stuff. Nope. None at all. Never again.Palpy pauses for effect. UNTIL NEXT TIME, AM I RIGHT! Ho ho ho! Can't keep the Dark Lord of the Sith down forever, eh? Eh?Geop leans over and whispers into Palpatine's ear. Oh, uh... Okay. Uh, sorry, I have just been notified that a "three strikes and you're out" rule is in effect. Considering this whole mess and that Total Extreme Wrestling 2013 thing, I am now on my last chance. So, uh, don't expect any more trademarked wacky Palpatine antics. Ever again.Palpatine appears to be trying to wink, but the effect is lost on the crowd due to his sunglasses. Geop motions the officers and they forcibly drag Palpatine off-stage.
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Aug 29, 2014 15:59
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This was a good thread.
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Sep 1, 2014 04:25
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...Wait, did Xizor get his casino back from The Dark Prince The Evil Lord?
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Sep 1, 2014 04:29
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Frankly, it's a good thing that the police got to him before sigourney weaver did.
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Sep 1, 2014 06:34
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 : What, you mean it's over? I was just about to make my meteoric rise in popularit-- Sir, but Episode VII...: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M BEING RETCONNED OUT?!? I refuse to accept this. Commence operation "Burn it to the Ground." I just found this thread, and it was amazing.
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Sep 1, 2014 06:52
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Senerio posted:I just found this thread, and it was amazing.
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Oct 8, 2014 15:21
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Oh I died like 4 months ago and forgot to check back. Whoops. Lets just say I was in character as a corpse the entire time.
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Oct 8, 2014 16:13
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