July Chat Thread: Ford Porno Red.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > July Chat Thread: Ford Porno Red.

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

Phone posted:

Let's discuss the difficulties about writing for a character like Superman.

Holy poo poo I just realized somebody has to try and make Superman interesting :stare:

# ¿ Jul 2, 2014 05:58

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:01

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

At this point I think I've replaced every mechanical, electrical, and suspension related component on my Volvo. My gimp suit has no eyes so I can only taste the turds perpetually flowing through my moist bankrupt lips.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2014 06:25

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

kastein posted:

Put me on the list too. Except with jeeps.

Actually, here's what I have replaced on the red toilet jeep since 2010. And this is only the things I remember.
Upstream and downstream O2 sensors same. one was loose, next to my firewall plug which didn't exist. Driving fifteen minuets to work was giving me icepick headaches
radiator same
both driveshafts same
all shocks same
every brake line and hose not yet, but it's next on the list
every brake cylinder and caliper ^
all brake rotors shoes pads and drums same
all ebrake cables same
rear hatch harness, twice (rebuilt the broken one with all aerospace grade super flexy, super high temp, super abrasion resistant wire in the flex section the second time.) same
hatch struts same
engine, all seals same
transmission same
rebuilt transfer case same
front ujoints same
balljoints same
wheel bearings next on the list
both steering knuckles next on the list
all tie rod ends same
track bar same
alternator same, and bracket, which sheared in the block, requiring me to drill out and replace with a custom one-- six hours of drilling, three cobalt bits. kill me
PS pump same
PS hoses same
battery same
ECU same, plus ignition box and proper chips for both
CPS same
ignition coil same, PO had a Napa one that wasn't meant for my car
all engine/trans mounts same, but trans mount is blown again
rear leafs, shackles car doesn't have leaf springs, but I had to replace all springs due to PO cutting them
airbags (it came to me with none) PO put an air bag steering wheel on despite my car not having SRS
steering wheel see above
heater core Mine was leaking. Turns out PO didn't actually tighten the loving connections to it. Saved myself a twelve hour job since I could access worm gear through dash
fuel sender and tank (twice. this is my fault) Same, but was PO putting an objectively worse than stock in-tank pump in. Next step is a 300lph pump.
whole exhaust system, multiple times. all but one were my fault same, and scrapes on high speed bumps, which lead to a cracked exhaust manifold and turbo housing
wiring harness repair to all 4 doors, both tail lights, the rear chassis harness, the fuel pump, and the trailer harness same and trunk popper still needs tending
TPS same, with a newer model
tail lights (my fault. drat ninja trees) same, taillight circuit board wore out,
swaybar bushings and endlinks same
all front sheetmetal (it came to me all mismatched) I don't have sheetmetal
horn still doesn't work. connector goes from pad to NOWHERE and from firewall to NOWHERE.
clockspring ??
steering intermediate shaft
exhaust manifold to be replaced soon. $1200 for all the work oh my god
windshield, 3 times, and it needs another. All this year. not yet, but my 1200RMS subwoofer knocked out the window in my wagon
CTS same
starter same
bellhousing same, part of transmission replacement
both headlights, again same, replaced with Hella E-Code 7", same as your car uses I believe, haha. Had to completely wire in new headlight harness since old one fried
every bulb has burned out, most of them have burned out and gotten me pulled over same, including cop giving me poo poo for having an Oregon car in California. gently caress you, cop.
radio died same, every time I lock or unlock my doors it pauses for a brief moment

and it still needs:
rear wheel bearings, pinion bearing, carrier bearings
ac evap core I just removed mine
fuel level sender wiring and sender
rust repair on the rear of the frame rust repair under rear windshield, front turn signals, various rust chips on hood
seats same, PO put in BMW 5 series seats but they're showing age
radio, again same
rockers
door catch straps and hinge rebuilds on both front doors
hatch latch handle replaced all my door handles
drivers door
drivers door hinge pins just repacked with grease since mine wonderfully have zerke fittings. But the smell of 30 year old door grease... worse than diff fluid... never again..
both front doors need replacement catch straps
bellhousing, AGAIN
... AKA "everything I haven't replaced yet".

I'm so goddamn close to cutting the stupid piece of poo poo up for scrapmetal and buying something else.

In addition:

Strut camber plates, since old ones were ready to send strut through hood
Ignitor thermal paste was decayed and was causing intermittent ignition issues due to overheating. Replaced with Arctic Silver :drugnerd:

Spring retainer plates were stripped
Power locks didn't work. PO ripped them out. I wired them back in.
Power mirrors didn't work. I put in manual because gently caress it.
Power windows didn't work. All grease was old. Silicone sprayed the tracks.
Power window worked then stopped working. Window tore off connector to the motor. I rerouted it to a non-retarded location around the window and re-spliced the connector. Now working!
Gauge cluster instrument lights. Only half worked, turns out during the swap I tied the oil pressure light to ground and was blowing my halogen light above my fuel sender. My bad :v:

Shifter bushings
Wired in switched power to e-fan so it wouldn't run when car is off. My fault.
All injector seals were leaking.
As mentioned above, all door handles replaced. They were all one or two rivets away from leaving me locked out of my car.
Front trailing arm bushings
Rear trailing arm bushings. This alone was a six hour job.
Front control arm bushings
Rear control arm bushings
^^all bushings required a propane torch and sawzall ^^
The entire rear axle assembly. No seriously.
Spark plugs, wires, cap, rotor, timing belt, PCV system
Intercooler cracked and replaced
Wiper motor

Still to do:
An unknown relay still clicks every time I shift into first wtf
Oil pressure gauge still doesn't work
I cannot find my oil pressure warning light anywhere in the wiring loom
CEL light not wired in
Exhaust manifold and hotside turbo housing have very large cracks, and a very large exhaust leak.
Washer bottle, washer motor
Build intercooler bracket so it's not sitting on block of wood
Repack wiper grease as I'm sure it's just clay at this point

This is just the stuff off the top of my head. At what point is a car not a car, but anathema? I mean, it's just a Volvo 240.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2014 18:47

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

kastein posted:

The bellhousing I replaced because it broke after I did the auto to manual transmission swap, which involved changing the bellhousing of course.

Then it cracked again.

Probably replacing it tonight after work unless I go with "maaaaan, gently caress THAT" and go home instead.

Ouch. I went manual to manual but had to replace the bellhousing to place a crank position sensor, since I also went from K-Jet to EFI with a new motor. :v:

Granted this car is basically just a science experiment to see how much I can actually learn before it just decides to poo poo itself, but I am thoroughly surprised how much work high mileage vehicles actually need. 250k and counting. :getin:

# ¿ Jul 2, 2014 19:05

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

My timing cover melted. This means I have to remove my timing belt to put my new one on. :geno:

# ¿ Jul 4, 2014 07:32

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

Happy America day, everyone, where we celebrate our choice to buy superior, foreign cars. :fsmug:

# ¿ Jul 4, 2014 21:33

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

I learned manual in a Maxima with no hydraulic clutch fluid and a 3 foot pedal throw with almost no engagement point. Then I got my car with a blown clutch that would shudder violently under any burn. Also, reverse didn't work.

I've only driven one other manual car, my friend's Scion FR-S. He watched me drive my car and was blown away by my ~10 inches of throw between gears. I still think he's crazy. My transmission is normal and adequate, thank you very much. :colbert:

# ¿ Jul 5, 2014 19:59

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

I was doing my trailing arm bushings and took a five minute power nap on cold concrete using the rubber handle covering of my hammer as my pillow.

Is this like an Actual Thing? :raise:

# ¿ Jul 5, 2014 23:26

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

The guy I sold my seats to came by to pick them up from eBay. I managed to diagnose and repair a bunch of stuff on his car and he's extremely grateful because he says his car runs better than ever now. :unsmith:

Also his original seats were completely destroyed so I helped him install the new ones so he was able to drive two hours to his house in comfort. Volvo 4 life :hfive:

# ¿ Jul 9, 2014 02:05

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 02:01

Knot My President!: Jan 10, 2005

Lost two of my dogs this year. Deepest sympathies.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2014 18:10

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > July Chat Thread: Ford Porno Red.