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I'll let you know if you owned or died like a bitch.
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Jul 12, 2014 18:14
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Kazvall posted:I would like to be named Kip Johanesburg Kazvall posted:Bif Sizzlechest wiped his brow. He hadn't set foot off the ranger in years. What was in store for him? Would his insectoid ptsd kick in again or would it simply be mindcontrol this time? You are now Cpl Kip Sizzlechest, a Spanish Sniper who last served in Papau New Guinae or some poo poo.  Zoq-Fot-Pik posted:I pray for death. You are now Sgt Zoq Fot Pik, the Italian shield bitch.  Seshoho Cian posted:I'd rather xenonaut You are now Cpl Seshoso Oian, a random Norwegian dude with a M16 and some grenades and poo poo.  Bureaus Watts posted:pick me please You are Cpl Bureau Watts, some New Zealand Army Ranger chick, also you have a M16.  big duck equals goose posted:Xeon-nuts You are Cpl big duck equals goose, a British Para whose last assignment was shooting up Irish people and dodging carbombs and poo poo.  01011001 posted:i lust for sectoid death You are Cpl Emma "Digits" Kozlova, a crazy spetsnaz bitch with a shotgun.  You are Cpl anime gently caress pillow, a totally kawaii uguu Norwegian machinegunner.  Bobby The Rookie posted:Gimme lots of smoke nades, I can be the smoke nade guy. You are now Cpl Bobby The Rookie and per your request, I'm making you the grenadier. 
Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 18:42 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 18:30
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Hog Butcher posted:give me a shotgun You are now Pvt Hot Butcher, a Navy Seal with a shotgun.  Gimbal lock posted:I'm invincible!! You are now Cpl Gimbal Lock, a Polish guy from the WOP HIGHLAND BRIGADE (can't make this poo poo up), you last saw action in Afghanistan. Enjoy your M16.  Also up to bat on the first UFO mission are these nerds. Kip Sizzlechest Zoq Fot Pik Seshoso Oian Bureau Watts big duck equals goose Emma "Digits" Kozlova anime gently caress pillow Bobby The Rookie Loadouts/how your dudes look incase you care.  The battlefield.  Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 18:54 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 18:44
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Kip Sizzlechest gets first blood shooting some startrek looking alien in a blue sweater vest without even moving from the helicopter.
Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 18:55
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2 people just died hold on let me put up screenshots.
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Jul 12, 2014 19:02
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 bobby pops smoke to cover the squads advance  Oh poo poo people are shooting maybe I should duck behind this car and cry like a bitch.  Police securing the warehouse or garage or something oh who am I kidding gently caress you busta.  Anime gently caress Pillow covers the squads back while bobby moves up to cover  digits avenges anime gently caress pillow and bobby by conjuring the spirit of tookie williams and blasting the gently caress out of some alien in a blue sweater vest  kip pops smoke for him and bureau watts  hey is that bullet proof shield you know, laser proof? i dunno hope there are no aliens in this building to gently caress us like they did anime gently caress pillow  oh poo poo here they come help guys get here  sup also seshosho pops smoke to cover the team, hopefully it works! Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 19:06
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 im gonna get you sucka!  rip zoq, least bureau watts got him back for you digits and kif are primed to get some kills this turn if it goes well
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Jul 12, 2014 19:21
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we won, hold on let me post up more screenshots.
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Jul 12, 2014 19:27
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 digits posts up while everyone else takes positions and tosses a frag grenade at the redshirt, pinning him down   no no no no  i forgot who died here, it all happened so fast but it was one of the rifle duders also kif is scared, this is worse than loving mosquitos in papua new guinea  seshosho returns fire and hits the guy outfront of the ufo and then gets brained by the redshirt, who was suppressed and had a pistol. take a moment to think on that   kif though suppressed manages to blast that fucker by the ufo, somehow i didn't cap this but digits blew up the redshirt the turn before then moved in on the blue shirt who retreated around the corner and hosed his poo poo up  we won  but twas it worth it though its gonna be a depressing flight home 
Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 19:32
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guys who died make up new names and i'll let you reincarnate also if you want me to name planes after you say so
Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 19:33
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Action Tortoise posted:Gimme a target and I'll do my best to die from it. StashAugustine posted:i long for death put me in hey have some screenshots, background info stuff               Silver Alicorn posted:put me in or dont idk You are Pvt Silver Alicorn, a Spetsnaz operative whose been issued a riot shield, a pistol, and some grenades. Apparently these things aren't laser proof but laser resistant so you should be able to take a shot. Anime gently caress Pillow couldn't. Bobby The Rookie posted:Smokey the Bear, a gay who likes to pop smoke every day. You are Pvt Smokey The Gay Bear, seemingly Bobby The Rookie's long lost cousin if Bobby did a tour in the New Zealand Rangers. You have tons of grenades, C4, and a shotgun. Rannos22 posted:Finally I can fulfill my dream to bleed out, alone and unloved, in some godforsaken shithole without having to lose my luxurious curves. You are Rannos the 22nd, you are the squad rocket guy. Please don't blow us all up. Contra Calculus posted:I don't have high hopes for me, but I'll try anyway. You are Pvt Contra Calculus, an Italian sniper from some regiment I can't pronounce nor ever heard of. Snipers seem to have a good survival rate as do assaults judging by digits last performance so you should be good. And its about time cause we got another UFO.    we shoot this nerd down easily via auto resolve and head on back home to rearm/refuel but the UFO keeps landing (which means we can't bomb him) and it flies off before the charlie can get there. Which if you aren't careful will shoot down your helicopter and you'll lose a bunch of soldiers.  gently caress this guy for real our interceptors have been renamed after some of our fallen to remember their sacrifices   the current setup for the next drop
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Jul 12, 2014 19:58
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Hey I just realized I went a couple of days without researching poo poo so I reloaded. It means the soldiers I previously named won't be arriving by the time we hit the next UFO (got a second chance and splashed it). So forgive me for that, I'll rename your dudes and get them back in when I can.
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Jul 12, 2014 20:01
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The line up         The flyover   The drop  hope this doesn't turn into some blair witch project poo poo or something Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 20:10
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 Hog butchers goes to scout poo poo out sup mujahadeen buddy  Contra goes out and throws a flare and oh poo poo a red shirt.    gently caress you  Contra highfives kif and then goes off to the woods and throws some flares  flares everywhere    civvie gets the gently caress out of the way while his buddy with the AK moves forward into the darkness
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Jul 12, 2014 20:23
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I'm gonna start over cause some weird poo poo happened when a guy upstairs who shouldn't have been able to shoot THROUGH the bottom of the floor or something killed 2 more soldiers. That and I need to play more carefully. So STARTING OVER AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED. From the top.
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Jul 12, 2014 20:39
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Action Tortoise posted:If you put me in can I go by Plastron? Much faster to type than Action Tortoise. sure, also I'll put the rest of you in as soon as the rookies arrive. The selection at the beginning of the game is variable. Everyone is a corporal but some are slow as gently caress time unit wise or have some other defect. They are technically better than rookies but whatever. Anyway have some screenshots, we're about to do a ufo.  welcome to imp zone    The lineup          Somethings missing though, it just ain't right.   There we go. Time to roll out. 
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Jul 12, 2014 20:55
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 troops fan out in search of dudes  found one    anime gently caress pillow dies again in videogames, big duck equals goose kills the alien who shot him  please dont kill one of my guys  rip  we won  gimme the loot  Here's how our base is looking. in 4 days we'll have more living space for soldiers/support staff, room for 2 more jets, and in 10 days we'll have missile defense batteries online, an additional workshop, more radar coverage, and a medical center to get our wounded back out faster. Since our guys are literally wearing coveralls that offer absolutely no protection a shot will likely kill you outright. Only the shield guys are protected and then only for a shot or two tops.  Also in 9 days we'll have a base in panama to lock down the americas.
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Jul 12, 2014 21:26
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AHungryRobot posted:put me in coach. go hogwild with the name, i trust you're more creative than i am The reserves (starting with you)       So we bagged us a scout ship.    Anime Cum Pillow, no relation to Anime gently caress Pillow, received moderate damage during this engagement. The Taint Reaper is being dispatched to the crash site immediately to secure it. The Lineup  I'm going to lay down for a bit before I actually do this mission. later. edit: while you guys were flying in this popped up, im gonna research alien plasma pistols now so we get some actual body armor and then laser weapons. 
Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 21:47 on Jul 12, 2014 |
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Jul 12, 2014 21:41
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Humphrey Vasel posted:Put me in game. Also how similar is this to old x-com? Do you get killed stepping off the skyranger? Pretty similar but its improved the formula in some ways. Also not often but quite a few times there will be someone in view of the ramp. I have 2 snipers and a machinegunner at the edge for this reason and its usually a free kill. Terror Missions are rough poo poo though, in that case you can get killed going off the ramp. Thankfully thats what the tank is for.
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Jul 13, 2014 00:51
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Ok here's how the mission went. Its night time but gently caress it, gotta do what you gotta do. Lucky we have all the flares in the world. Literally the game gives you unlimited flares during night ops. During the Alien turn we hear plasma fire.    Now we know who bought it. This fucks rannos22 up and she panics. Oh well. We spread out and move to contact, popping smoke.    He's in the house, I couldn't screenshot fast enough. If anyone knows a better way I can get good screenshots, like maybe recording when I play and going through the footage later for choice bits that would be great. I'm new to this whole LP thing. Its not exactly what I'm trying to do but its what I feel the thread turned into since I started posting screenshots. Cause lets face it, you wanna know what happens to the soldier named after you so least I can do is give you the details right?      Seshosho miraculous isn't killed outright when some Caesan comes around the corner, thats the grey dudes. I have him patch himself up, thats why I have my riflemen and assaults carry medkits. Rannos freaks out again because he's a busta. Its like she's never seen someone get shot before. Bobby goes up to the window and throws a grenade in. Oh yeah Kif missed a 95% shot gg.    Seshosho lives only to die. again. Goose goes around the corner and caps the guy who got him. Bobby's grenade killed the guy inside via bleedout. See what happens is everytime you get shot you have a chance to get a wound. If you don't heal the soldier immediately, take 5 damage. Have 2 wounds (only seen it happen once), take 10 damage each time. It goes both ways for humans and aliens. Kif breaks and fless and the rest of the squad moves on. He'll be back.     We found what we came here for. Also trouble. Goose tries to frag an alien but misses the frag. He also gets killed right after throwing the grenade to reaction fire, rip.  gotcha bitch   not loving around this time  oh hey that was easy, coast is clear right?  Not seen is the redshirt running in from that door to shoot watts the gently caress up. What is seen is one of our soldiers shooting him back afterwards on reaction fire with a burst. They use the appropriate fire mode. Up close its burst if they have the TUs or single shots. They keep firing until they are out of TUs.  We won again, rip those who died. Give me new names and I'll get you back in the rotation.  We are on the way back and as you can see UFOs are still active in the area.  One has set down south of dar es salaam, tanzania. Gonna send a fighter and the charlie to hopefully take it. I'll post the lineup in a minute.
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Jul 13, 2014 01:12
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First the current lineup for the next UFO mission. Mr.Unique-Name posted:I want to be at least partially responsible for the deaths of my fellow posters at the hands of aliens Love Stole the Day posted:nice thread BoredDG posted:I have played Space Invaders, thus I am qualified to be murdered by aliens in a video game. HeyCrapOnThis posted:I hope you didn't skip me, I want nothing more than to die Humphrey Vasel posted:Put me in game. Also how similar is this to old x-com? Do you get killed stepping off the skyranger? Pretty sure I've gotten everyone, if I didn't quote you in this post post ITT again and I got you. I need to bring in more soldiers but after that I can name yall. Only 4 in the reserves atm.  Sending out the charlie with an escort because in the event the UFO takes off and I don't get a chance to slow down the time acceleration the poo poo will get shot down and that would be bad. We'd get the bird back after 72 hours since they recover shot down aircraft in this game but then it'd be out of action for a while, dead soldiers, yeah no.  come on don't gently caress me  gotcha bitch. It moved up north and then landed then we landed on it. This is going to be harder since they have a full crew but they won't be expecting us so it affects their deployment some what. We get the drop on them so I think it keeps them away from the drop zone or some poo poo. Shits gonna be rough though so good luck guys. Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Jul 13, 2014 |
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Jul 13, 2014 01:21
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Mr.Unique-Name posted:Since the ship is The Taint Reaper is it possible for me to blow it up? D lol.
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Jul 13, 2014 01:31
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Oh yeah can I get the original gamer gang tag or something cool, I'm not picky but I'm missing bowser so yeah.
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Jul 13, 2014 01:31
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   Dongslayer and Kif bag a alien thats here to greet us right off the Charlie.   There's something out there. And it ain't no man.  duders get into position  Shield saved bobby's life, he's also pinned down. I move the guys up.  Oh poo poo oh poo poo oh poo poo.    Bobby! Action Tortoise also bags the guy around the corner. Better Bobby then him right? Also the team of Kif and Hogrider bag the last alien hanging outside.  Aliens moving around inside.  Definitely not loving around.     sup also notice the flash bang on the floor in one of the pics.    Oh hey this is cool, gimme. Meanwhile Contra bags the redshirt and the team gets ready for the breach.  Action Tortose flashbangs them so they won't reaction fire anyone coming in and cost us even more soldiers. Not pictured is Kif going in with the alien plasma gun, firing a burst right next to a guy with 71% chance and failing to kill the guy. He did get a hit in which allowed a combination of contra shooting past him to wound the blue shirt and digits running up behind kif to finish the job. There's a 25% whenever you shoot with a xenonaut in the line of fire that the xenonaut will take the hit. Take that shot only when you have to, like in this case cause if I didn't kif would have died more likely than not. Even suppressed they have enough TU for one shot and that would kill one of us.  Heading back to beautiful Cyprus after another successful mission.
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Jul 13, 2014 01:57
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Sup we're bringing BoredDG into the squad since bobby bought it. Bobby btw get me a new name cause we already used smokey and I'm not feeling it. Have some more screenshots.  A bit of research on the newest type of UFO we've hit. Its the one with the main room and the back room where assholes like to pop out of the door and kill like one or two of your soldiers. There's another grounded UFO out there so we're sending the Charlie right back out. Here's the lineup for that job.      On that note, I'm gonna take a break till tommorow or later tonight. Tune in then!
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Jul 13, 2014 02:04
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rip Hog Butcher, Dong Slayer, and DJ Borneo ps DJ Borneo blew himself up with a bad hand grenade toss, screenshots coming soon.
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Jul 13, 2014 06:00
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 Hey sup welcome back, we're just hear at some farm coming to check some poo poo out.  Contra shoots  He scores  Kif gets in on it as well  Oh poo poo these guys regenerate and he is pissed.     It takes digits, kif, and contra to put him down but he goes down. Meanwhile Dong Slayer is thinking about blowing up a wall.   I hope that was a good toss.   that'll do dong slayer, that'll do     Kif and Contra are hard at work putting bullets in aliens hearts and poo poo.  A section of the squad sweeps down south to make sure no one is in the treeline.  Holy poo poo.     Digits gets hit but lives. Digits and rannos shoot the guy back at point blank range. Digits loses it after nearly dying to a loving otherkin and runs for it.  suck my dick goy boy - Rannos the 22nd  Action Tortoise, quick with the medkit, quick with the shotgun. hi5 buddy   We've found the UFO.    And the enemy.   rip  loving ufo's in the way, i gotta get around it  FRAG OHHHHHH poo poo! (look closely at the circled object)   Kif tosses a grenade properly unlike DJ Borneo who is not long for this world. It isn't needed cause Action Tortoise is quick with the shotgun, just like I said he'd be.  I still don't understand how I can see an alien but not shoot him. gently caress UFOs. Ok lets move up a bit.   gently caress   Hey I'm still alive! - Last Words of DJ Borneo  Dong Slayer got hosed slayed, rip. His kids Dick Skinner, Cock Eater, and Butthole Surfer will miss him dearly.  rip  The other riflemen move up and put two shots into the lizardman but he's standing stronger than antwone fisher yo.    What the gently caress digits, where you going! Don't you love your country, I mean planet?!?!?!   Rannos the 22nd and Action Tortoise get him with the one two punch. That one was for Dong Slayer.  Welcome back to the war Digits.  Ok this is it, who knows whats in there. Are you ready?     Got em.  #rekt  It could have been worse I guess. Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Jul 13, 2014 |
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Jul 13, 2014 06:27
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Ok here are some miscellaneous screen shots and the next mission's lineup. Skip to the bottom if you wanna know whose up.    Cool, finally more soldiers. We were running thin there from all you fuckers taking plasma to the chest and poo poo like its your goddamn jobs. Oh wait it is. heh  oh poo poo no moneys  Now we know why kif couldn't hit poo poo with the alien gun.  Time to develop armor that'll SAVE LIVES. Also the scientist dude looks like the biggest douchebag. Someone get him some pussy poo poo, dude needs to loosen up.  And there you have it. A flak vest thats heat resistant or some poo poo.   I switched the research to the Alien Plasma Rifle since it would research faster. Gets us laser weapons. We're kinda due for a second lab though right about now.      So when you shoot down a UFO you have two options (if it was shotdown on land). You can send a squad over there to take it and sell off anything captured for parts or you can airstrike. Airstriking gives you less money but its risk free. Also when you have a shitton of UFOs all over and are shooting them down left and right, airstriking will keep you from burning out and saying gently caress this gay earth/gently caress this gay game. For the sake of seeing how many posters I can go through, I'm going to avoid doing that as much as possible unless we are strapped for cash and I don't want to waste lives while I'm waiting on say....that new body armor to roll out or laser weapons for the whole squad. Cause that sort of poo poo does matter alot.   Oh hey another UFO oh poo poo where'd all you fuckers come from. The current lineup, it should be obvious who the new people are. We're going after a landed UFO for cash moneys and to train the new blood.    Got em. Good night.
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Jul 13, 2014 06:46
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oh wow the game ate my ironman save or something, im just gonna play catchup till we're back to about where we were when I left off last night.
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Jul 13, 2014 16:32
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This game seems to hate the gently caress out of the following people. I think we've established a pattern here in imp zone.  Also welcome back to imp zone anime gently caress pillow.
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Jul 13, 2014 17:40
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Hog Butcher posted:If you're using a shotgun your sheer manliness will allow you to survive more effectively. See: me its funny that you say that   also on the same mission we threw a flashbang into the ufo and proceeded to riflebutt the gently caress out of one of the grey aliens till he passed out. this poor guy is now kept in isolation where the only visitors he has come to teabag him in his sleep and draw minidicks on his eyelids. oh yeah who wants the tank named after them? it gets rockets and poo poo. 
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Jul 13, 2014 17:53
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rip action tortoise and stash augustine
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Jul 13, 2014 19:05
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Sup, highlights from the missions up to now on this latest restart. Bureau Watts dies again in video games take 3.  Shosho whatever the gently caress your name is gets suppressed by a cop firing over his head. He says he was just trying to help though, hope you forgive him!   anime gently caress pillow spitting that hot fire at lizardpeople   anime gently caress pillow interrupted while stroking off his machine gun, causing him to get quite irate also your dudes picture is goofy looking as all gently caress.   The fall (but not death) of anime gently caress pillow also notice seshoho cian laying up by the concrete barricade up there dead as gently caress   digits dies for the first time ever   I think there is a correlation between poo poo usernames and dying alot in xenonauts cause this is the third time zoq fot pik had a character named after him die hilariously. With the exception of anime gently caress pillow who got unlucky and also lived this time, bureau watts/seshosho cian/zoq fot pik always loving die to some bullshit. I can pop 100 smoke grenades and put you behind cover but you still eat poo poo.   hog butcher gets butchered, look on the brightside though you got to stand up till the start of the turn before bleedout kicked in i was hoping you'd make it    beating motherfuckers down like we the NYPD also took this guy alive for interrogation Ok those are the highlights from the last few missions, here's the mission we just did.  Looks like we dropped in at some oil pipeline outpost or some poo poo. Squad gets spread out and gets to looking.   OH poo poo THEY SHOOTING US MAN THEY SHOOTING US! - random white people  Stash Augustine flashbangs a lizard dude so he won't come aroud the corner and shoot the poo poo out of us. these guys are notorious for blitzing on you and blasting your poo poo. its cause they have a permanent case of myopia apparently but that doesn't seem to stop them from killing random dudes behind cover all the way down the street. gently caress these guys for real  DJ Borneo spots two aliens and a pinned down soldier   got em   We couldn't save the soldier though, it took a turn to get contra moved up to Kip's position and to get DJ Borneo around the building to seal the deal.  Stash draws reaction fire so DJ Borneo can move up and put this guy to sleep, forever.  DJ Borneo and Contra take him out. The rest of the squad doubles back to move on the UFO.  I wonder if lizard people had to hop turnstiles to get on the subway when they were broke back in the day.   dont gently caress this up please tia ok cool we avoided another xenonaut blowing himself up with explosives   #rekt    Stash is hit and goes down. Kip and Action Tortoise both bag them one a piece.   fuckfuckfuck   LSTD and Gazza flick the switch onto burst and blast the gently caress out of those aliens. That was for Action Tortoise ya bitch! No one gives a gently caress about Stash, everyone expects the shield bitch to die at some point. Thats why he has the shield.   CONTRA!  Rannos the 22nd gets revenge for her squaddies and poo poo.  Victory  what in the galactic gently caress is alenium   In 5 days, we'll have enough body armor to outfit the entire squad. The poo poo is pricy and we need to save up to be able to produce foxtrots for the panama base and the laser weapons we're trying to get researched. Speaking of which.  Hopefully this smarmy gently caress doesn't take too long. We got men dying out there! And occasionally some women too. I dunno they all look blue to me from up in HQ so v0v.
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Jul 13, 2014 19:33
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scalded schlong posted:please enlist PFC Scalded Schlong, OP I gotcha.  Ok after those couple of missions the squad lineup is looking kinda sparse, time to bring in a new crew.   Radar coverage at the Panama base should be operational within the week.  this is a thing about ufos     reinforcements have arrived also I have 2 snipers in reserves who need names so feel free to post some up! Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Jul 13, 2014 |
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Jul 13, 2014 19:34
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Contra Calculus posted:well I'm out for the month but at least I lasted longer than I thought I would I was sad when I thought your guy bought it. Also the medical center is built so that means you'll be back in 12 days. anime gently caress pillow will be back in rotation in 4, in time to get issued new body armor so he hopefully won't loving die hilariously. And DJ Borneo will be getting out of medical around the same time your dude is so yeah thats that. Oh yeah we got another ufo. Have some screenshots.  A few more soldiers arrive to round out the strike teams. We're now full up at Cyprus with engineers/scientists and soldiers.  UFO detected, we scramble a pair of foxtrots to kill it since they are the fastest planes we have available.   got em Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Jul 13, 2014 |
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Jul 13, 2014 19:57
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Action Tortoise posted:Nice I actually pulled some weight. c
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Jul 13, 2014 22:47
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scalded schlong posted:i feel slightly nervous being on the same squad as dongslayer You're both on garrison duty lol.
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Jul 13, 2014 23:45
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Yo I'm just gonna stream it and then after I'm done playing I'll do the recaps with the odd post ITT to let you know if anyone died or did cool poo poo. Speaking of which here you go. http://www.twitch.tv/mandozerthegreat
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Jul 17, 2014 17:39
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Rannos and Gareth are dead rip.
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Jul 17, 2014 17:43
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 21:53 |
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Everyone is dead except kip and silver alacorn, silver alacorn berserked and shot at kip 3 times and missed. Kip got shot and lived which is more than I can say the same for most of the team. Also I had silver alacorn shoot nigga bowser cause nigga bowser was being a bitch nigga.  edit: silver alacorn failed to burst down a purpleshirt and got killed even though the guy was suppresed. Mainly cause they were both within 2 tiles of eachother so missing was kinda impossible. double edit: we won, kip was the sole survivor, miss unique managed to be saved from death gg 
Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Jul 17, 2014 |
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Jul 17, 2014 18:01
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