- dogcrash truther
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Israeli civilians think that it protects them from dangerous missiles, but its mostly misfired t shirts from gaza's famous long range t shirt cannons.
lol
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Jul 22, 2014 00:36
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 6, 2024 12:03
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- GEExCEE
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I remember the day I got that assignment like it was yesterday. Me, READCTED and READCTED sat outside READCTED's office just kind of shooting the poo poo. We were good buddies by this time. READCTED said that the way READCTED was talking, he was hankerin for a spankerin. I disagreed, but played it cool. Anyway, we all got called in eventually, and things turned a little more serious.
READCTED had us sit down, took a big belt of scotch, and sighed. "Gentlemen," he said, "I won't lie to you. This is probably going to be your hardest mission yet." At this point, we're all looking at each other sweating bullets. I mean, yeah, we were seasoned agents. All of us had worked wet before, real wet. But we knew this was different.
"We have reliable sources confirming that there is some extremely out there poo poo going down in the Gaza strip. Though some people have called it the worlds largest open air prison, some are now calling in the new Williamsburg. What no one is doubting is that Gaza is "in" right now. People can't get enough Gaza. Gaza! Gaza! Gaza!!! We here it's so cool, that these people live under this loving brutal oppression and still have time to make room for the little things in life like crafting homemade chainmail and burning down the local water park. There's just one problem: us honkeys just don't get it. How are they so cool? We need to discover the secret to their swag, gentlemen. That's where you come in.
Your mission is to infiltrate the world's largest open air prison, and recover its collective unconscious. We have word that the cybernetic Gaza hivemind is located in the Al-Aqsa hospital. You will go incognito, gaining the trust of the local population and observing some trill-rear end poo poo go down. Take plenty of pictures, discreetly, and try not to get your minds blown too hard. After you've established your positions, we'll move in to provide covering fire. Get computer's mindcore and then meet your handler at the rendezvous point for extraction. Those are the basics, boys. Your flight is in half an hour."
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Jul 22, 2014 00:54
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- google THIS
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the laws of physics don't even apply in gaza, the magical place where you can burn down a water park
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Jul 22, 2014 00:56
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- google THIS
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in gaza they've invented a way to make kosher pork and israel has even trying to keep it under wraps ever since
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Jul 22, 2014 01:04
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- Ramsus
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by Hand Knit
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Shellfish is not kosher and shellfish come from the beach. Gaza is on the beach.
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Jul 22, 2014 01:17
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- Frank Horrigan
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by Ralp
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I spent 4 years in federal prison and it was honestly a very self-illuminating experience, so I don't really understand why the palestinians are crying so much about it.
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Jul 22, 2014 01:22
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- Ramsus
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by Hand Knit
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I spent 4 years in federal prison and it was honestly a very self-illuminating experience, so I don't really understand why the palestinians are crying so much about it.
You may have finished your degree, but you'll never be the head of a major corporation.
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Jul 22, 2014 01:28
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- cuntman.net
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i wonder what other open air prisons there are
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Jul 22, 2014 02:50
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- cuntman.net
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i hope i get sent to one with a beach and maybe a skydiving program
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Jul 22, 2014 03:00
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- satsui no thankyou
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cool palestinian guy: ah jeez, i messed up. lock me up and throw away the key ha ha
jew: There is no key. we will kill your children.
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Jul 22, 2014 03:14
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- i am he
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Perhaps the same could be said of all modern countries where weed isn't legal.
haha
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Jul 22, 2014 04:48
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- beer pal
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The Israelis built the iron dome defense system to guard against brochures fired from inside the Gaza strip
lol
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Jul 22, 2014 04:48
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- posting smiling
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i bet the guy i knew in college who moved to israel to join the army is really kciking himself now that there's a war and he's on the not as cool side
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Jul 22, 2014 05:05
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- Diqnol
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Perhaps the same could be said of all modern countries where weed isn't legal.
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Jul 22, 2014 05:09
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- posting smiling
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nope, just checked facebook and he's still big on israel. go figure.
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Jul 22, 2014 05:10
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- mags
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I am a congenital optimist.
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why don't they just move away?!
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Jul 22, 2014 05:16
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- i am he
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why don't they just move away?!
hell, why would they want to?
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Jul 22, 2014 05:17
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- Qwerinty
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by zen death robot
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I am home... *fades into the darkness*
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Jul 22, 2014 05:20
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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A rad humanitarian crisis has intensified with the super sweet Israeli bombardment of Gaza, a formerly lame area until the explosions about twice the size of the District of Columbia that has about three times as many residents (1.8 million) who are all like "ahhh nooo" while the rest of the world, especially this guy, is just like "sweeeeet". Israel has been using its highly touted hosed up precise missiles to hit numerous sweet targets. This collective punishment, a sweet rear end war crime per se, totally wreaks mondo havoc on civilians. Schwing!
With over 1,700 super mondo, super sweet explosive strikes so far (each one is like wow, just wow), the Israeli military has pounded (huh huh) homes, some lame schools that were asking for it, dorky mosques, electric and water facilities (just drink mountain dew), gay municipal buildings, some dumb third world health clinics, some moving vehicles -- that was probably this reporter's favorite sweet explosion -- uhh like what else, a home for the seriously shaky disabled people with nothing better to do. As a result of these gnarly loving attacks, over two hundred and thirty Gazans have died all like flying around like Saving Private Ryan beach scene and over seventeen hundred have been injured so far, mostly butthurt, about eighty percent are civilians, a majority of whom are just women and children soooo hardly counts, according to UN observers.
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Jul 22, 2014 05:28
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- mags
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I am a congenital optimist.
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A rad humanitarian crisis has intensified with the super sweet Israeli bombardment of Gaza, a formerly lame area until the explosions about twice the size of the District of Columbia that has about three times as many residents (1.8 million) who are all like "ahhh nooo" while the rest of the world, especially this guy, is just like "sweeeeet". Israel has been using its highly touted hosed up precise missiles to hit numerous sweet targets. This collective punishment, a sweet rear end war crime per se, totally wreaks mondo havoc on civilians. Schwing!
With over 1,700 super mondo, super sweet explosive strikes so far (each one is like wow, just wow), the Israeli military has pounded (huh huh) homes, some lame schools that were asking for it, dorky mosques, electric and water facilities (just drink mountain dew), gay municipal buildings, some dumb third world health clinics, some moving vehicles -- that was probably this reporter's favorite sweet explosion -- uhh like what else, a home for the seriously shaky disabled people with nothing better to do. As a result of these gnarly loving attacks, over two hundred and thirty Gazans have died all like flying around like Saving Private Ryan beach scene and over seventeen hundred have been injured so far, mostly butthurt, about eighty percent are civilians, a majority of whom are just women and children soooo hardly counts, according to UN observers.
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Jul 22, 2014 05:31
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- Ramsus
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by Hand Knit
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about twice the size of the District of Columbia that has about three times as many residents (1.8 million)
Wow, Israel please send rockets that air burst into a confetti of condoms over the populace please
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Jul 22, 2014 06:33
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- thewizardofshoe
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Flares lit up the night sky before dawn and the wail of ambulance sirens mixed with the Muslim call to prayer from mosque loudspeakers as thick smoke rose into the air from sites where shells and missiles struck. Palestinians flocked to the streets armed with their glowsticks and molly and had begun to rave to the sweet sweet music of Israeli Dubstep in the world's largest open air prison.
Then they dropped the bass.
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Jul 22, 2014 06:34
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- dogcrash truther
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Perhaps the same could be said of all modern countries where weed isn't legal.
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Jul 22, 2014 15:53
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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Israel is like this big drug orgy with Middle Eastern babes whereas Ukraine is a Eurotrash sockhop where school monitors hold rulers out to make sure people are dancing at an appropriate distance from each other
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Jul 22, 2014 17:02
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- heard u like girls
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Bear Grills and his team of survivors once recorded an episodde in Gaza but they didn't air it because Baer put white fosphor on his pancakes instead of sugar and he had to go to the infirmary
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Jul 22, 2014 17:55
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- Ace of Baes
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the second most infamous open-air prison associated with the jews
the first is new york
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Jul 22, 2014 22:22
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- dogcrash truther
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lmao
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Jul 22, 2014 23:00
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- Cosmic Charlie
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How do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue
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A long line of Palestinians march up towards the slide in the glaring sun, noses coated white, ball and chain tucked under one arm a blue foam mat under the other, their black and white striped swim trunks still wet from the wave pool.
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Jul 23, 2014 00:22
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- Slaapaav
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by Azathoth
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im gonna misfire my rockets inside a fleashlight
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Jul 23, 2014 00:25
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- Dubsy
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"We have reliable sources confirming that there is some extremely out there poo poo going down in the Gaza strip. Though some people have called it the worlds largest open air prison, some are now calling in the new Williamsburg. What no one is doubting is that Gaza is "in" right now. People can't get enough Gaza. Gaza! Gaza! Gaza!!! We here it's so cool, that these people live under this loving brutal oppression and still have time to make room for the little things in life like crafting homemade chainmail and burning down the local water park. There's just one problem: us honkeys just don't get it. How are they so cool? We need to discover the secret to their swag, gentlemen. That's where you come in.
lmbo
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Jul 23, 2014 01:07
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- dogcrash truther
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heres a good joke about israel: Representing Israeli frustration at external criticism of its operation in Gaza, Israel’s ambassador to the US, Ron Dermer, controversially suggested Israel should be awarded the Nobel peace prize for “fighting with unimaginable restraint”.
how about this one
“They want to pile up as many civilian dead as they can,” Netanyahu added. “They use telegenically dead Palestinians for their cause. They want the more dead, the better...Israel regrets every injury to civilians,” the prime minister said. “I call on the residents of Gaza: Don’t stay there. Hamas wants you to die, we want you to be safe.”
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Jul 23, 2014 03:44
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- dogcrash truther
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like gently caress i'm not going to stay in the world's largest open air prison, i'm only halfway done with the friendship bracelet i'm making out of human teeth
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Jul 23, 2014 03:45
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- i am he
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i'll never forget the friends i made in the world's largest open air prison
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Jul 23, 2014 03:46
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- obstipator
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by FactsAreUseless
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The world's largest open air prison is now being airlifted. A ribbon-cutting ceremony begins as the world's largest open airship prison floats up into the stratosphere.
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Jul 23, 2014 03:49
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- Pedantra
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by Lowtax
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Jul 23, 2014 03:58
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 6, 2024 12:03
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- Pinche Rudo
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I met my one true love in the world's largest open-air prison. We spent long nights on the beach drinking home made wine made from dates, warming ourselves by the trash and corpse fires. We would watch the stars and rocket streaks in the sky. She told me that one day we would be together even though I wasn't Muslim. She was eaten by a pack of wild camels. I'll always miss you Maryam. Every time I smell burning trash I think of her. I love you baby *kisses two fingers, taps them to heart, then points at the sky*
Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 04:24 on Jul 23, 2014
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Jul 23, 2014 04:19
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Jul 22, 2014 00:36
