Fix Your Sport

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Fix Your Sport

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

R.D. Mangles posted:

Baseball

Problem: Bats cold
Solution: Hats. For bats.

Didn't know Gabe Newell posted here.

Problem: Soccer games end 0-0 way too much not because of good defense but because of the offside trap. Imagine offsides in a game like Basketball "oh no the team was too lazy to defend therefore that sick nasty slam dunk doesn't count"
Solution: get rid of offsides

NBA
Problem: The NBA is rigged.
Solution: Make the NBA not rigged OR rig it so a team I like wins once in a while.

Peanut President fucked around with this message at 17:36 on Jul 23, 2014

# ¿ Jul 23, 2014 17:33

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 14, 2024 06:43

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

Everblight posted:

I've heard this idea floated before, but the general response is "then Team A will just camp a guy next to Team B's net and just lauch bombs to him all day for him to try and tip in."

How does eliminating offsides prevent this 'best strategy' from destroying soccer?

Also I'm now sorry I tried to be funny in the OP. I seriously want to know what people think are the real problems in their sport that are just intractably unsolvable for whatever reason, rather than joke response.

Also basketball power plays sound awesome.

I was 100% serious. If team A leaves a guy down at the net literally all game long then that means they only have 10 defenders which opens up space for the other team.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2014 02:57

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

Karl Sharks posted:

You don't want to take away the offside rule because hoofball is boring and poo poo. On the other hand, teams that have the offside trap down pat can do fairly well (see Costa Rica this past World Cup).

On the other hand, gently caress Concacaf and gently caress teams that do the offside trap.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2014 18:19

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

CBJSprague24 posted:

All Sports
Problem: Retiring numbers.
Solution: gently caress retiring numbers. Make a ring of honor for "honored numbers" or something and let Joe Doe wear #19 for the Colorado Avalanche if he wants to instead of taking the number away for the rest of time to honor Sakic. (Insert any retired number or player into this example.)

You watch NASCAR. You know exactly what would happen. Some shitheel team owner would give his son in the NHL 99 and try to call him the next Gretzky all the time forever just like the 3 in NASCAR.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 04:28

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

Ponce de Le0n posted:

No its just very funny to us that its always something to do with the offside rule or the fact a game can end in a draw and not actual problems like the amount of money in the game, bad financial regulation, pricing out of lower class fans in the local community, better transportation options for those fans, what to do about FIFA, getting more kids involved etc etc.

Of course that would mean people would have to actually watch the game for longer than a few international matches.

Oh come on. Every single league in America is doing the exact poo poo. Do you see anyone else saying "get kids to play baseball more" no because that isn't what the thread is about.

Problem: Euros are big babies
Solution: Nuke Europe

# ¿ Jul 25, 2014 20:01

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

Zogo posted:

MLB
Problem: Each year I'm less interested in watching the game.
Fix: World series played in the snow and 1 in 100 balls has a C-4 explosive core.

All sports
Problem: People don't like money.
Solution: Remove it from sports.

All sports
Problem: Expensive tickets.
Solution: Free festival seating.

Problem: people don't like money in sports
Solution: revert society to a barter system

# ¿ Jul 26, 2014 15:15

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

wyoak posted:

Every sport except Soccer, NHL Playoff OT, and Baseball, but mostly Football
Problem:
Too many goddamn commercials

Solution:
Plaster ads on more poo poo but less commercials. NFL uniforms looking like NASCAR suits would be OK with me if they'd eliminate all commercials except, say, a short break between quarters and a whole shitload during halftime. Added side benefit of less Terry Bradshaw/Shannon Sharpe/Frank Caliendo/etc.
Baseball has a natural commercial break so it's not really applicable.

Likely real world solution:
The NFL will plaster ads on everything and also add more commercials.

NASCAR has commercials. NASCAR races have more commercials than actual racing. Good luck and godspeed.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2014 18:47

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

runoverbobby posted:

The full-course yellow flag is a somewhat natural commercial break once pit stops are over.

American coverage of F1 takes a commercial break every five laps even though the races are usually green the whole time, though!

NASCAR has commercials during green flag. NASCAR has commercials during lead changes. NASCAR has commercials while a wreck is in progress.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2014 00:49

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

SirPhoebos posted:

Problem: I don't like MLB's playoffs because I think it's silly for a league that has a long enough season that one can do statistical sampling to then have it's champion crowned through what's basically a crap-shoot.
Fix: In place of a playoff, the top six teams in each league play a month long round-robin season, and then the team with the best record in each go to the World Series. More details here: I have spent way too much time thinking about something that will never happen.

This reminds me:

Problem: Interleague
Solution: No Interleague.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2014 22:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 14, 2024 06:43

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

INSPECTAH DECK posted:

gently caress you, buddy, interleague's cool.

Yeah okay, comrade.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2014 01:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > Fix Your Sport