August Army Thread: 270 is the Battalion Standard

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > August Army Thread: 270 is the Battalion Standard

Nostalgia4ColdWar: May 7, 2007; Good people deserve good things.

Till someone lets the winter in and the dying begins, because Old Dark Places attract Old Dark Things.

SumYungGui posted:

It still amazes me that I am now a fat, unshaven civilian going to school and I have more deployed time than that tremendous sack of poo poo. I also guarantee by the time he finally did worm his way out of TRADOC to get a deployment in he had enough rank to get an actual bed every night and a 9-5 schedule that he probably still cut out of early.

I got out in the 90's, and I have more time in Iraq than that fat gently caress.

By far, he is the least impressive Smegma I've ever seen.

Chandler, not the Sergeant Major of the Army we wanted or needed, but the one we got.

I'll bet he screams like a little girl.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 02:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 06:31

TK_421: Aug 26, 2005; I find your lack of faith disturbing.

So I've gotten a lot of excused absences from my MUTAs and am about six days short of my AT time (reserves), so unless I RST a bunch I likely won't have a good year. If I don't plan to retire, does this even loving matter? I can't find any confirmation that there are any consequences if the absences are all documented, approved, etc.

My civilian career is finally starting, and I'll be goddamned if the Army fucks it up for me.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 02:39

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

ryan_woody posted:

My civilian career is finally starting, and I'll be goddamned if the Army fucks it up for me.

Good luck with that.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 02:43

11b1p: Feb 5, 2008; This picture is worth 20 words or something.

You need 50 points. You get 15 just for being in the reserves/guard. 35 left to do. If you only did 8 days of AT that leaves you 27. Did you do at least 27 MUTA's this year?

# ? Aug 20, 2014 02:45

iKon: Oct 4, 2000; CAN'T TEST
WON'T TEST

Ashmole posted:

Active side speaking, but O-3 should take longer to pick up. These three year captains (some, not all) are pretty retarded. Part of it is because loving West Point TIS starts as soon as they graduate. You've got dudes showing up to units getting promoted to 1LT after two months. So if you've got a TRADOC warrior, he'll show up to the unit, pin on 1LT, and then a year later put on O-3. It was loving stupid.

I was a 2LT in my unit for a full year before I got O-2.

I hit O-3 back when it was 36 months, and I bet some of those utter loving retards are O-4s now. Good luck with that, Army.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 04:14

TK_421: Aug 26, 2005; I find your lack of faith disturbing.

11b1p posted:

You need 50 points. You get 15 just for being in the reserves/guard. 35 left to do. If you only did 8 days of AT that leaves you 27. Did you do at least 27 MUTA's this year?

It's going to be close. My year starts in May, and I've been excused most of the last few drills to move. I've got 4 MUTAs so far, and I may miss drills until October. That leaves potentially 24 or 28 MUTAs until my date if they are all MUTA 4s.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 05:00

McNally: Sep 13, 2007; Ask me about Proposition 305

Do you like muskets?

Pesticide20 posted:

And the other two riveting tales?

The second was the time some chucklefuck posted something or other to the public side of the state website instead of the internal server. I don't even know what the third one was, probably the same thing over again when they tried to fix it.

# ? Aug 20, 2014 06:01

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

I've gotten a few letters where someone lost a NIPR laptop with my entire state's personal info residing on it. Morons.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 00:43

Diarrhea Elemental: Apr 2, 2012; Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?

DoktorLoken posted:

I've gotten a few letters where someone lost a NIPR laptop with my entire state's personal info residing on it. Morons.

It's almost funny how many times I found the 162s for our entire loving battalion, and sometimes brigade, just lying around the aid station. Name, rank, social, PCS date, etc.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 00:49

Defleshed: Nov 18, 2004; F is for... FREEDOM

iKon posted:

I hit O-3 back when it was 36 months, and I bet some of those utter loving retards are O-4s now. Good luck with that, Army.

I commissioned as a 1LT and became a CPT 16 months later. They don't put me in charge of other people's lives though. The general intelligence of most of my fellow CPTs in other branches is astoundingly low to me. You encounter the rare guy who has his poo poo together and has read a book once or twice, but nearly every one else is just the loving bottom of the barrel. It's baffling to me that the only thing you need to become an officer is a pulse and a college degree. And the degree can be from University of Phoenix.

One thing I have found is that many officers tend to excel at being what I call "surface level intelligent". Based on limited interactions with them, you may have the general impression that they are smarter than average, reliable, etc, because they have already mastered the Army facade. But engaging them in in-depth discussion of any topic that is not reactionary conservatism or relying on them for anything more than the most mundane of tasks is asking to be disappointed.

Defleshed fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Aug 21, 2014

# ? Aug 21, 2014 02:24

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

Sometimes the Army is fun. :911:

Flying_Crab fucked around with this message at 02:59 on Aug 21, 2014

# ? Aug 21, 2014 02:56

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

DoktorLoken posted:

Sometimes the Army is fun.

"We got 30k 5.56, 15k 7.62 and 100 .50 cal. Everyone gets to shoot 3 rounds of .50 cal"*

*semi true story. We only had 250 .50 cal for the entire company. No one above e-5 shot it, and only half of everyone e-5 and below got to shoot it.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 03:48

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

DoktorLoken posted:

Sometimes the Army is fun.

God loving drat I miss having a .50. Raging boner shooting that thing every time.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 03:51

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

Cole posted:

"We got 30k 5.56, 15k 7.62 and 100 .50 cal. Everyone gets to shoot 3 rounds of .50 cal"*

*semi true story. We only had 250 .50 cal for the entire company. No one above e-5 shot it, and only half of everyone e-5 and below got to shoot it.

We had 40,000 rounds of .50 alone. :smug:

# ? Aug 21, 2014 03:52

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

DoktorLoken posted:

We had 40,000 rounds of .50 alone.

have fun cleaning it nerd

# ? Aug 21, 2014 03:53

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

have fun cleaning it nerd

That's what ~~privates~~ joes are for :smug:

# ? Aug 21, 2014 03:59

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Sitting at home drinking scotch and beer giving no fucks. Life is good.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 04:27

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Welcome home man

# ? Aug 21, 2014 04:30

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

psydude posted:

Sitting at home drinking scotch and beer giving no fucks. Life is good.

grats on making it home

# ? Aug 21, 2014 04:31

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Welcome home man

# ? Aug 21, 2014 04:31

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Welcome home man

# ? Aug 21, 2014 04:46

TK_421: Aug 26, 2005; I find your lack of faith disturbing.

psydude posted:

Sitting at home drinking scotch and beer giving no fucks. Life is good.

Enjoy knowing that you'll (likely) never set a foot in that loving shithole again.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 05:14

Nostalgia4ColdWar: May 7, 2007; Good people deserve good things.

Till someone lets the winter in and the dying begins, because Old Dark Places attract Old Dark Things.

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Welcome home man

# ? Aug 21, 2014 05:29

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Welcome homo man

# ? Aug 21, 2014 05:39

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

JDAMS CURE PASHTUN posted:

God loving drat I miss having a .50. Raging boner shooting that thing every time.

I spent a good chunk of my time as a .50 gunner. I miss my bitch

# ? Aug 21, 2014 06:06

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Welcome home man

# ? Aug 21, 2014 06:07

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Welcome home man

# ? Aug 21, 2014 06:24

McSpatula: Aug 5, 2006

psydude posted:

Sitting at home drinking scotch and beer giving no fucks. Life is good.

Good poo poo! Enjoy that reset time and chill.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 06:26

Anansi The Spider: Jan 30, 2014; loved basic so much I decided to stay

Number of marriages one week after graduating OSUT: 16
Number of divorces two weeks after graduating OSUT: 12

I hope I dont become the majority, I like this girl.

Also, does anyone know how long getting a spouse into DEERS usually takes? Ive been told 2 to 4 weeks

# ? Aug 21, 2014 07:21

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Anansi The Spider posted:

Number of marriages one week after graduating OSUT: 16
Number of divorces two weeks after graduating OSUT: 12

I hope I dont become the majority, I like this girl.

Also, does anyone know how long getting a spouse into DEERS usually takes? Ive been told 2 to 4 weeks

bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

oh god, please tell me this isn't real, i can't stop laughing

# ? Aug 21, 2014 07:24

11b1p: Feb 5, 2008; This picture is worth 20 words or something.

It's not real

# ? Aug 21, 2014 10:50

Carteret: Nov 10, 2012

Anansi lied, soldiers died.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 12:15

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Anansi The Spider posted:

Number of marriages one week after graduating OSUT: 16
Number of divorces two weeks after graduating OSUT: 12

I hope I dont become the majority, I like this girl.

Also, does anyone know how long getting a spouse into DEERS usually takes? Ive been told 2 to 4 weeks

Shut up.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 12:32

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Anansi The Spider posted:

Number of marriages one week after graduating OSUT: 16
Number of divorces two weeks after graduating OSUT: 12

I hope I dont become the majority, I like this girl.

Also, does anyone know how long getting a spouse into DEERS usually takes? Ive been told 2 to 4 weeks

# ? Aug 21, 2014 12:48

calmasahinducow: Oct 31, 2004; i am a pirate of the high seas

Defleshed posted:

I commissioned as a 1LT and became a CPT 16 months later. They don't put me in charge of other people's lives though. The general intelligence of most of my fellow CPTs in other branches is astoundingly low to me. You encounter the rare guy who has his poo poo together and has read a book once or twice, but nearly every one else is just the loving bottom of the barrel. It's baffling to me that the only thing you need to become an officer is a pulse and a college degree. And the degree can be from University of Phoenix.

One thing I have found is that many officers tend to excel at being what I call "surface level intelligent". Based on limited interactions with them, you may have the general impression that they are smarter than average, reliable, etc, because they have already mastered the Army facade. But engaging them in in-depth discussion of any topic that is not reactionary conservatism or relying on them for anything more than the most mundane of tasks is asking to be disappointed.

Yeah the vast majority of my peers are utter idiots.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 13:47

Diarrhea Elemental: Apr 2, 2012; Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?

Anansi The Spider posted:

Number of marriages one week after graduating OSUT: 16
Number of divorces two weeks after graduating OSUT: 12

I hope I dont become the majority, I like this girl.

Also, does anyone know how long getting a spouse into DEERS usually takes? Ive been told 2 to 4 weeks

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:28

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Anansi The Spider posted:

Number of marriages one week after graduating OSUT: 16
Number of divorces two weeks after graduating OSUT: 12

I hope I dont become the majority, I like this girl.

Also, does anyone know how long getting a spouse into DEERS usually takes? Ive been told 2 to 4 weeks

# ? Aug 21, 2014 16:13

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Anansi The Spider posted:

Number of marriages one week after graduating OSUT: 16
Number of divorces two weeks after graduating OSUT: 12

the word youre looking for is annulment you retarded lying sack of cum drenched poo poo

now kill yourself

# ? Aug 21, 2014 16:24

Whipped Buttcheeks: Jul 25, 2007; Chairborne Ranger

If we didn't promote everyone with a pulse and no DUIs to Captain, maybe we wouldn't have to kick thousands of them out down the line. From what I've read about the QSP boards they care more about mistakes you made as a Lieutenant ten years ago than your level of competence or other qualities you bring to the Army. Six more years before the mast. Then I can get a real job in some remote corner of Europe where the only PT I do is beer hoists. Maybe I'll get lucky and get hit by a bus so I can go to an MEB.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 16:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 06:31

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

Amani's finally posted something I can't believe even a little

# ? Aug 21, 2014 18:18

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > August Army Thread: 270 is the Battalion Standard

«‹›9 »