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Anansi The Spider posted:Number of marriages one week after graduating OSUT: 16 You've overplayed your hand, man. You were pushing the envelope of credibility as it was, but now you've completely blown it. There's Stupid Private Bingo, then there's filling in the entire loving bingo card.
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Aug 21, 2014 18:42
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Fake as poo poo bro, you done goofed.
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Aug 22, 2014 00:22
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Waiting for the MyPay post.
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Aug 22, 2014 18:04
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TPSDude posted:Waiting for him to get banned.
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Aug 22, 2014 18:19
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Had to get my new 1SG to sign something this morning. He asked me how my progress was going on the body composition program was going. I have never been on the program. Pretty sure my 1SG called me fat. 
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Aug 22, 2014 19:52
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dusted
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Aug 22, 2014 19:58
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Aranan posted:Had to get my new 1SG to sign something this morning. He asked me how my progress was going on the body composition program was going. or the 1SG wanted to take some near-nude pictures of you for undisclosed reasons. which option makes you feel better?
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Aug 22, 2014 20:01
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Mr. Nice! posted:dusted
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Aug 22, 2014 20:14
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Hey top, how's it going developing real-world skills for when you get force shaped out?
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Aug 22, 2014 20:17
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everyone in the army has autism
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Aug 23, 2014 01:20
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Aranan posted:Had to get my new 1SG to sign something this morning. He asked me how my progress was going on the body composition program was going. lol if you look fat in acu they fit like garbage bags
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Aug 23, 2014 04:25
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kill you are self posted:lol if you look fat in acu they fit like garbage bags God, yes. L-R top fits my shoulders perfect then manages to give me enough midsection room I could smuggle a loving watermelon under without anyone batting an eye. OTOH M-R bottoms fit well except for the part where I have to wrestle the cuffs down over my enormous former-fatboy calves.
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Aug 23, 2014 04:58
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is it against 670-1 to get ACU tops tailored?
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Aug 23, 2014 08:04
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Lmao at receiving a loving counseling for wanting a uniform that fits
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Aug 23, 2014 08:41
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Justin Tyme posted:is it against 670-1 to get ACU tops tailored? Only knew one guy who did it. Had to have two tops cut and sewn together to fit him.
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Aug 23, 2014 14:25
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was that dude in eric cartman "beefcake" mode? chugging down protein powder or just a massive fatass?
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Aug 23, 2014 14:30
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It was like the Stay-Puft man joined the Army instead of the Navy.
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Aug 23, 2014 14:32
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I enjoy hearing stories of incredibly overweight tank loaders. Same for underweight ones.
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Aug 23, 2014 14:44
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DoktorLoken posted:Sometimes the Army is fun. no its not. You still have to clean up all that dumb poo poo.
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Aug 23, 2014 16:51
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yourafagpleasedie posted:no its not. You still have to clean up all that dumb poo poo. Not if you're medical coverage for the range. You burn 4 or 5 boxes then go back to relaxing in the back of your FLA while the retard herd police calls. Then again, that's if people are too loving stupid to set the tripods up so you can stuff a can underneath to catch brass and one on the side to catch links.
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Aug 23, 2014 17:32
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There was an active shooter at Ft. Lee today. I guess some female soldier had a gun and shot herself. She is apparently still alive though, which matches up with the skill I've witnessed from females at ranges before...
Gooble Gobble fucked around with this message at 18:56 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Aug 25, 2014 18:54
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Gooble Gobble posted:There was an active shooter at Ft. Lee today. I guess some female soldier had a gun and shot herself. She is apparently still alive though, which matches up with the skill I've witnessed from females at ranges before... dusted
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Aug 25, 2014 18:59
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Gooble Gobble posted:There was an active shooter at Ft. Lee today. I guess some female soldier had a gun and shot herself. She is apparently still alive though, which matches up with the skill I've witnessed from females at ranges before... She couldn't get pregnant before she had to deploy I guess.
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Aug 25, 2014 19:35
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zombie303 posted:She couldn't get pregnant before she had to deploy I guess. 
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Aug 25, 2014 19:38
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post the best ways to get out of deployment I saw 2 people refuse anthrax and one refuse to get their braces taken off. and 4 pregnancies.
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Aug 25, 2014 20:18
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We had a guy get hooked on pain killers so he would fail a piss test and get chaptered out. Dude's medicine cabinet looked like a pharmacy. The best part is he got hooked on pills, like legit went to rehab as we were deploying, because "I don't like the way weed makes me feel." Unfortunately he took a few people down with him because he had other peoples meds in his cabinet.
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Aug 25, 2014 20:34
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FAT SLAMPIG posted:post the best ways to get out of deployment I knew of two guys who hurt themselves to get out of a month in the mojave but when one of them subsequently got bounced from the deployment roster I'm pretty sure he cried about it. Why wouldn't you want to deploy? Get paid, idiots. edit: Oops.. Army thread. Sorry for Oohrah'ing the place up, guys.
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Aug 25, 2014 22:44
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Gooble Gobble posted:There was an active shooter at Ft. Lee today. I guess some female soldier had a gun and shot herself. She is apparently still alive though, which matches up with the skill I've witnessed from females at ranges before... leaned too far back, only managed to graze her forehead
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Aug 25, 2014 23:25
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Amateur. It's the last thing you're going to do, would it kill you to do it right?
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Aug 25, 2014 23:32
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Close thread. It's downhill from here.
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Aug 25, 2014 23:38
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psydude posted:Amateur. It's the last thing you're going to do, would it kill you to do it right? I think it would
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Aug 25, 2014 23:38
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psydude posted:Amateur. It's the last thing you're going to do, would it kill you to do it right? 
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Aug 25, 2014 23:40
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psydude posted:Amateur. It's the last thing you're going to do, would it kill you to do it right?
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Aug 25, 2014 23:53
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Our BN S-4 got drunk watching a football game and broke his legs a month before our deployment. His punishment was to hobble his rear end everywhere in Kuwait. Our next deployment featured someone in our platoon tearing his ACL accidentally three months before we deployed. They stuck him in the training room on our FOB until he healed so he could join us on patrols. A SSG in a different battery suffered a heart attack in the chow hall after a patrol. He was sent home and the BN commander wanted him back walking the dusty streets asap. I was in the middle of my third deployment when they started looking for any reason to chapter people out because it was the middle of the recession + draw down stuff. Never join the Army.
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Aug 26, 2014 01:27
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We had a guy get hit by a truck on his motorcycle like a month prior to deployment. They deployed him despite the fact he couldn't wear his kit and could barely walk.
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Aug 26, 2014 05:02
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In a bit of good news, with a bitter twist, my med board packet went to the MEB, then the informal PEB board, and is now heading off to the VA ratings people. In 3 days. Now, it's cool that it only took 3 days, when they factor in it taking 45 days. The bitter twist is that it took 2 separate boards 3 days to come up with the conclusion that I am completely hosed. My NARSUM is a terrible read. It seems that the VA shrink thinks my brain is toast. Wife told her about me putting a dude on his knees and telling him to suck my dick or I'll break his neck, I think that really put the point home. Heh heh, I still think it was funny though.
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Aug 26, 2014 19:25
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not caring here posted:In a bit of good news, with a bitter twist, my med board packet went to the MEB, then the informal PEB board, and is now heading off to the VA ratings people. In 3 days. If anything, you should have to pay us to be able to remain living in our society instead of the VA paying you.
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Aug 26, 2014 20:31
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anne frank fanfic posted:If anything, you should have to pay us to be able to remain living in our society instead of the VA paying you. Don't you have a pistol to suck start?
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Aug 26, 2014 20:39
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Don't you have a pistol to suck start? Whoosh
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Aug 26, 2014 20:49
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not caring here posted:In a bit of good news, with a bitter twist, my med board packet went to the MEB, then the informal PEB board, and is now heading off to the VA ratings people. In 3 days. How's the fucker that wrecked the truck?
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Aug 27, 2014 00:31
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