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I have a for real goal of lighting a straw hut on fire. Got to look on the bright side ya know Edit: Would any of the high speed guys actually get pissed if I shot a monkey? Cenen fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Aug 7, 2014 |
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Aug 7, 2014 20:02
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I hope Ebola spreads through this forum and wipes out 85% of you all.
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Aug 7, 2014 21:10
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Cenen posted:Edit: Would any of the high speed guys actually get pissed if I shot a monkey?
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Aug 7, 2014 21:28
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Dead Reckoning posted:Just to be clear, are we talking monkey as in Cheeta and Koko, or monkey as a really racist euphemism for Africans? This gip bro what do you think
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Aug 7, 2014 21:56
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I'd love to do some real modern Heart of Darkness poo poo, and rolling into an African country as part of a special ops group is basically the perfect way to do it
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Aug 7, 2014 23:58
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GENDERWEIRD GREEDO posted:I'd love to do some real modern Heart of Darkness poo poo, and rolling into an African country as part of a special ops group is basically the perfect way to do it Yeah real-talk you don't get to bitch about a deployment that involves rolling into an African country under the radar with a bunch of SOF dudes. Hmm yes I would much rather go to the Deid where I can get chief'd all day or KAF where I can get rocketed AND chief'd all day
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Aug 8, 2014 00:01
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The more I read about this country and the more I read about these people the more I'm freaking out. gently caress those guys and gently caress you people.
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Aug 8, 2014 00:17
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Hurr yeah freaking out real hard about a country where everyone believes whites are wizards and their dicks cure aids
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Aug 8, 2014 00:19
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You probably shouldn't post about your super secret deployment on the internet.
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Aug 8, 2014 00:26
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Let's be honest these posts could cover like 98% of the countries in this lovely continent out of 7.
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Aug 8, 2014 00:30
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iyaayas01 posted:Yeah real-talk you don't get to bitch about a deployment that involves rolling into an African country under the radar with a bunch of SOF dudes. Hell yes I'd rather go to the Deid, gently caress danger when I can get danger pay for sitting at the pool beside the dairy queen. Danger is for people that didn't make good choices in life. I know our SOF guys get hardons for war crimes but just blow it all up with RPAs and call it a day. You can fix ebola with RPAs right?
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Aug 8, 2014 00:52
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Prop Wash posted:Hell yes I'd rather go to the Deid, gently caress danger when I can get danger pay for sitting at the pool beside the dairy queen. Danger is for people that didn't make good choices in life. I know our SOF guys get hardons for war crimes but just blow it all up with RPAs and call it a day. You can fix ebola with RPAs right? No more haz pay at the Deid
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Aug 8, 2014 01:35
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Restricted hazardous duty pay, prorated tax exemption, no ear/finger collections...they're really sucking the fun out of war.
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Aug 8, 2014 01:38
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dscruffy1 posted:If you're at Osan we probably need to drink together one night. We can get nullscan in on this poo poo. Also I don't have a follow-on. I've got six months left. Not there yet, my orders posted but without my en route training so now I get to try and hunt down my gaining UTM (who happens to be outprocessing). I'll be there around November-ish.
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Aug 8, 2014 02:03
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Godholio posted:Restricted hazardous duty pay, prorated tax exemption, no ear/finger collections...they're really sucking the fun out of war. Boardwalk is gone at Kandahar by the end of the year...truly, war is hell
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Aug 8, 2014 02:05
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Shalhavet posted:Not there yet, my orders posted but without my en route training so now I get to try and hunt down my gaining UTM (who happens to be outprocessing). I'll be there around November-ish. I'm at Kunsan right now, but I will be TDY to Osan possibly around this time. Let's drink and make bad life decisions.
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Aug 8, 2014 02:29
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Well all the juice is gone, but Sally has hired extra help so the streetwalker game is increasing. Plenty of bad decisions to go around.
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Aug 8, 2014 03:04
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Cenen posted:The more I read about this country and the more I read about these people the more I'm freaking out. gently caress those guys and gently caress you people. Just keep your eyes on the road. Seriously, it sounds like a great trip.
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Aug 8, 2014 05:24
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Cenen- You aren't a trigger puller, so don't get cocky like one. Understand that if and when things go bad no matter how hard you try you will be the LIMFAC. Plan accordingly and try to super good at the tiny piece of the pie they're bringing you in to be a cool guy on, and less time trying to earn ranger panties the fun way and emailing home everything they put not to on the OPSEC list. HTH. If you get fired after getting this advice, you are a dipshits dipshit.
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Aug 8, 2014 05:51
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Shalhavet posted:Not there yet, my orders posted but without my en route training so now I get to try and hunt down my gaining UTM (who happens to be outprocessing). I'll be there around November-ish. If your gaining UTM is Sellers than I'm sorry in advance for getting assigned to the glorious 607th and I'll buy you the first shot.
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Aug 8, 2014 09:44
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Dead Reckoning posted:Just keep your eyes on the road. Seriously, it sounds like a great trip. Also make sure they check the gas
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Aug 8, 2014 10:05
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so i took a mock pt test, and got a 13:56. i've already failed a pt test, so this is that 3 month retest coming up in a week. i'm not a fatty. i've gained a little weight since basic, but i can and do run 1.5 mile runs in less than 13:36 on my own when i just run for fun or exercise. i just don't give a gently caress about being in the air force, and everything is loving gay. however!!! i'm coming up on the end of my first year in the AF this month, so it's not like any of this will go away. i guess what i'm asking is please convince me that the AF was not a horrible life decision that i should regret nearly daily (which is what i do, ever since finishing tech school). i can't post at work but i can read it just fine. which is where i'll be for the next 8 hours (420 shift work erryday) i like my job. i like to help people. it feels good when i help prevent possible delays. it feels good even just doing basic poo poo like connecting people to the chaplain after they close up shop. i even love planes so much it kinda gives me a semi when i hear a kc10 or a c5 rumble through the walls when they take off. i am a patriot, and i've always thought that civil service of some type was extremely my poo poo (i was a volunteer first responder thinking about fire academy/EMT school before enlisting). and yet i just feel constantly beat down and im just loving depressed all the time. idk what to do. my supervisor suggested doing some kind of reblueing type seminar poo poo they offer around base, but i just feel like there's no point to anything. sorry for e/n posting but plz. gbs will laugh at me if i post it there.
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Aug 8, 2014 18:44
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What the gently caress else are you going to do for a paycheck? Starbucks doesn't have PT tests but you will still hate your life.
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Aug 8, 2014 19:10
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Larry Parrish posted:so i took a mock pt test, and got a 13:56. i've already failed a pt test, so this is that 3 month retest coming up in a week. Thank you for continuing the fine AF tradition of being whiny faggots.
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Aug 8, 2014 19:12
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boy a year of easy 8-hour shift work? what a loving bummer of a life man, the AF really is the loving pits. you dumb whiny gently caress. at least put a couple years in so you can come up with something real to complain about and get a drinking habit before talking about how you feel sad about...what exactly?
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Aug 8, 2014 19:15
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GENDERWEIRD GREEDO posted:boy a year of easy 8-hour shift work? what a loving bummer of a life man, the AF really is the loving pits. thank you. i really just needed someone to tell me to stop being a stupid fag instead of encouraging it.
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Aug 8, 2014 20:02
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Ugh, it's telling you haven't figured this poo poo out after a year. Okay, fine, I'll educate the new kids again. Rek's guide to tolerating the Air Force even though you hate it 1) Nothing matters. None of it. Your PT score doesn't loving matter. Your EPR doesn't loving matter. How many medals you have doesn't loving matter. Winning Amn of the Quarter doesn't loving matter. Looking good in front of your NCOIC or commander or whatever especially doesn't matter. And the mission sure as poo poo doesn't matter. The only reason people care about this poo poo is because they personally put importance on it. Figure out what you actually give a poo poo about and start caring about only that. Other officers look at me as if I'm an alien when I say I don't give a goddamn loving poo poo what's on my OPR or whether I get promoted. All I care about is making money and getting good assignments, period dot. But they think I'm crazy because they falsely believe that their lovely value system is universal and absolute. Whatever, not my problem. Because all I care about is making money and getting good assignments, period dot. So I guess what I'm saying here is, figure out what it is in life you actually give a poo poo about and eject the rest of the distractions into outer space. 2) The military will gently caress you in the rear end. It fucks everyone to varying degrees, but they will get theirs. Your job is to get yours with the minimum possible investment of time and/or money, and then get the gently caress out. So get your GI Bill you idiot. If nothing else, you need to walk away with that and a clean DD-214. And take advantage of free poo poo, for fucks sake. If you can be a slug at your job without going to prison, do the bare minimum, and take some CLEP tests and college classes with your TA. Even if you have no intention of going to college, if you ever change your mind, you'll start at the halfway point or even higher. FOR FREE. You're already miserable, you may as well be miserable, educated, and debt free. 3) Some people really enjoy military culture, the brotherhood of being a comrade in arms, and all that other bullshit. If you don't like it, don't loving participate. Don't volunteer for poo poo unless given a direct order to do it, don't go to stupid squadron events cause everyone else is. Don't spend your time at bars with guys from work unless you actually truly enjoy the presence of their company. You can live your own life outside of the military, even if you're in the dorms. It just requires a bit more effort to get away. Learn new hobbies. Go to meetup groups. You may not hit your stride right away, but when you do, it's awesome. 4) Go to the gym you idiot. Get a workout buddy who knows wtf they are doing. Use the massive amount of resources that are completely free to you. No other time in your life will you get access to what is probably an awesome facility, at absolutely no cost to you. Get in shape. Get energy. Get confidence. gently caress bar skanks you meet at your meetup groups. You're young, have energy, opportunity, and don't have to worry about how to pay your bills, raise a kid, or make ends meet. So, in 3 years you could have 4 years of free college where THEY pay YOU, an associates degree if not more, be in the best shape of your life, have a bunch of cool friends you like to hang out with, probably even a hot gf or 3 that you can pump and dump, debt free with extra money saved up, military veteran status, and be loving light years ahead of 90% of the kids your age. And you can look back at your AF years knowing it sucked but you got way more out of it than most. Or you can be a bitter, fat sack of poo poo who ends up with nothing to show for it except regret and alcohol abuse befitting a typical worthless E/N thread poster. Choice is yours, brosef. Every day is a new chance to turn it all around.
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Aug 8, 2014 20:09
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Rekinom posted:Rek's guide to tolerating the Air Force even though you hate it I wish I had known you when I was in.
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Aug 8, 2014 21:12
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Larry Parrish posted:so i took a mock pt test, and got a 13:56. i've already failed a pt test, so this is that 3 month retest coming up in a week. You're just a dumb kid is all. Do enough where people leave you alone. And go to the loving gym you idiot.
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Aug 8, 2014 21:39
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holocaust bloopers posted:You're just a dumb kid is all. Do enough where people leave you alone. And go to the loving gym you idiot. Guide to people leaving you alone in the AF: 1) Pass your PT test. Get at least a 75.0 on your PT test. Anything else is overachieving, anything under will get you on everyone's radar extremely quickly. 2) Don't get in trouble with the law. 3) Do whatever stupid ancillary bullshit (CBTs, IMR, etc) your direct supervisor tells you to do in a timely fashion. That's it. Do those three things and your AF life will be hassle free because no one above the rank of E-5 will know your name or even know you exist. Oh, one other one but it's for NCOs and above only: 4) Make it at least appear you're semi-working towards whatever level of PME/education you are expected to have commensurate with your rank. You don't actually have to do anything, but at least make it look like you're trying.
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Aug 8, 2014 22:26
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I took my PT test today and we had a guy run an 18:03 1.5 mile. If you really want out, be that guy. Otherwise shut the gently caress up. You're a scrub rear end airman who probably has all of dick for responsibilities so it's not like anyone really gives a poo poo how well you do at your job plus whatever other bullshit detail you get assigned. Also no don't do that stupid reblueing poo poo. Get as far the gently caress away from the Air Force as possible. I disappear every weekend into the mountains with no phone reception and enjoy my free time. No bullshit to worry about, just me and my backpack. Find something you like to do and start doing it. And don't marry anyone ever. Marriages falling apart in the Air Force is one of the best time-honored traditions and provides loads of entertainment for everyone else.
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Aug 8, 2014 23:25
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SalTheBard posted:I wish I had known you when I was in.
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Aug 9, 2014 01:12
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They still using "doing the dew?" that one made me lol a lot.
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Aug 9, 2014 01:15
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A Kpro posted:I took my PT test today and we had a guy run an 18:03 1.5 mile. Did he walk the whole test?
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Aug 9, 2014 01:22
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Cojawfee posted:Did he walk the whole test? It sounds like that dude cant even handle walking.
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Aug 9, 2014 01:33
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Cojawfee posted:Did he walk the whole test? did he moon-walk the run?
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Aug 9, 2014 01:50
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Cojawfee posted:Did he walk the whole test? That's actually worse than my walk time.
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Aug 9, 2014 01:53
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Godholio posted:That's actually worse than my walk time. lol I was just going to say, I've seen people do the (1 mile) walk test in a faster time than that.
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Aug 9, 2014 01:55
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That's about the amount of time it takes to walk my dog a mile, and she stops constantly to scratch, sniff stuff, and take dumps. BTW thanks for the hearing protection suggestions.
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Aug 9, 2014 01:58
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iyaayas01 posted:lol I was just going to say, I've seen people do the (1 mile) walk test in a faster time than that. I should hope so, I did it in just under 12 minutes.
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Aug 9, 2014 02:10
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