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A kid has a nightmare about changing litter boxes. He goes to open a bag of litter and Freddy's claws cut his hand. Freddy's head pops out with cat makeup on. "I guess the cats out of the bag!". The kid is buried alive in lovely cat litter A granny dials up into her internet. Freddy's face pops up on the screen. "You've got hell". She bursts into flames and is replaced by a stuntman covered in goo Some kids are smoking weed in an alley when Freddy walks up dressed like a gang member. "Wanna get blunted?" he laughs before rounding off their limbs A Chinese hacker is infiltrating the FBI database when he stumbles on the elm street files. Suddenly Freddy appears behind him. "The east is red!!" he cackles before stabbing the kid and drowning him in the Yalu river A guy is eating potato chips. He reaches into the bag but its empty. He opens a new bag labeled 'Freddy lays'. Freddy's claw bursts out. "Once you pop, you just can't stop!" Freddy quips, referencing the slogan of the popular potato chip brand pringles. The guy is forced to eat potato chips until his stomach bursts.
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Aug 3, 2014 23:16
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| # ? May 3, 2024 04:39 |
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Drad_Bert posts in GBS. Freddy jumps out the screen, proclaiming "Solid Gold." Thread doesn't immediately get sent to the gas chamber.
Dean of Swing fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Aug 3, 2014 |
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Aug 3, 2014 23:29
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Drad_Bert posted:Some kids are smoking weed in an alley when Freddy walks up dressed like a gang member. "Wanna get blunted?" he laughs before rounding off their limbs This one did it for me.
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Aug 4, 2014 03:02
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Op please explain in five words or less why I shouldn't roundhouse kick your face
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Aug 4, 2014 03:05
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Is the Yalu river an actual river? If so how do you know that
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Aug 4, 2014 03:08
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Drad_Bert posted:
lol
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Aug 4, 2014 03:44
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A guy has a nightmare about posting to gbs. He goes online and is ready to make comedy gold but instead Freddy shows up on his screen and makes him shitpost. The guy then drowns himself in the Yalu river because he is embarrassed
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Aug 4, 2014 03:58
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I've never understood the desire to watch people die.
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Aug 4, 2014 04:02
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fivethree posted:A guy has a nightmare about posting to gbs. He goes online and is ready to make comedy gold but instead Freddy shows up on his screen and makes him shitpost. The guy then drowns himself in the Yalu river because he is embarrassed This one doesn't work because Freddy doesn't make the kill.
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Aug 4, 2014 04:03
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I've never understood the desire to watch people die. freddy kills this guy cause he a bitch
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Aug 4, 2014 04:06
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the nightmare on elm st tv show was p bad
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Aug 4, 2014 04:07
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Drad_Bert posted:A kid has a nightmare about changing litter boxes. He goes to open a bag of litter and Freddy's claws cut his hand. Freddy's head pops out with cat makeup on. "I guess the cats out of the bag!". The kid is buried alive in lovely cat litter They're all just being assholes, this was legit funny. Gave you a 4 vote.
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Aug 4, 2014 04:07
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I've never understood the desire to watch people die. 
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Aug 4, 2014 04:10
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bigzak posted:Is the Yalu river an actual river? If so how do you know that op subtly hinting hes white educated folk
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Aug 4, 2014 04:38
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ethanol posted:Op please explain in five words or less why I shouldn't roundhouse kick your face A guy is having a good time reading chuck norris jokes on the internet when he realizes the address bar actually read "freddykruegerfacts.com" Chuck Norris appears on the screen wearing Freddys sweater and fedora. "Good thing I never sleep!" he laughs before roundhouse kicking the guys head off through the computer
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Aug 5, 2014 19:43
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Some hipster is typing a post about why twee music is coming back Freddie appears behind him and says "Not using pitchfork? Allow me!" and impales him with a katana
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Aug 5, 2014 19:49
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Freddy Kruger shows up at hospital with Ebola. The doctors cannibalize him then die of Ebola.
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Aug 5, 2014 19:53
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I like Freddy Kruger and I cannot lie you other pre-teens can't deny when you to sleep and see him in your dreams you get eviscerated
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Aug 5, 2014 19:56
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Copley Depot posted:I like Freddy Kruger and I cannot lie Sir Mixalot is in his studio writing a new song when Freddy materializes out of his mixing board. "How about a juicy double?". Freddy takes out a cheeseburger and suffocates him with it
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Aug 5, 2014 20:00
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Freddy is watching Tony Hawk perform some sick rear end tricks in a dream half-pipe "Nice moves, hawk, but can you handle these moves?" and the skateboard turns into a miniature freddy shaped like a skateboard and spins him around so fast that he starts throwing up nonstop and dies from it.
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Aug 5, 2014 20:07
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A man is working a large industrial lathe with gloves on, his gloves catch on the lathe and he is pulled in and violently torn apart. Freddy shows up late due to traffic and shrugs.
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Aug 5, 2014 20:10
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"You've got hell" is the best thing I've read all week
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Aug 5, 2014 20:10
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Drad_Bert posted:Sir Mixalot is in his studio writing a new song when Freddy materializes out of his mixing board. "How about a juicy double?". Freddy takes out a cheeseburger and suffocates him with it
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Aug 5, 2014 20:15
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A guy is eating a kit-kat bar and not sharing it with his friends. His friends suddenly turn into four separate Freddies! "Have a break today!" they cackle in unison before each grabbing a limb and tearing him apart
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Aug 5, 2014 20:18
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The lead singer of Journey is back stage making out with a female groupie. He sticks his hands up her top but her breasts feel really odd so he rips of her top (she giggles) it turns out both her breasts are Freddie's face. Freddie's two faces say in harmonized unison "Don't CLOP believing" as suddenly the girl turns into a My Little Pony shemale and rapes him to death
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Aug 5, 2014 20:20
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Zorak is watching some anime about a girl getting magical powers and fighting crime, freddy suddenly appears on the TV, his face replacing the anime girls face and says "kawaii, I always knew I was beautiful. Too bad with beauty comes... the beast." and shoots a grappling hook into his dick drags him into the tv where it suddenly shoots gallons of blood out.
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Aug 5, 2014 20:23
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A woman is looking at an article in a beauty magazine about cosmetic surgery and is considering getting a nose job. Suddenly, Freddy pops out of the magazine and shouts "GOT YOUR NOOSSEEE" as his claws cut the girl's nose off and blood flies everywhere.
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Aug 5, 2014 20:29
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A man's in the bathroom washing his hands. He goes to dry them but the hand dryer turns into Freddy's face and says "How about a blow job?" It starts blowing air so hard it strips the skin/flesh off his hands (show this really graphically). The man tries to flee but he can't turn the knob with his skeletal fingers. Then you see that Freddy's arms are the toilet paper rolls and he's like "let's wrap this up" and he stangles the man with toilet paper. when people finally find him they wave it off as a case of autoerotic asphyxiation
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Aug 5, 2014 20:29
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Drad_Bert posted:
fixed
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Aug 5, 2014 20:34
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Obama is sitting in the Oval Office tired after a long day of reading death threats from John Boehner. He rubs his eyes in exhaustion as he reaches for another stack of death threats. A clawed hand slaps down on his! Obama looks up to see Freddy Krueger smiling devilishly. "Don't worry, you can rest when you're... IM-PEACHED" Obama gasps when he discovers he is now just a face on a Georgia peach. Freddy laughs as he holds the peach and tongues the crevice of it to make everyone uncomfortable before he takes a huge bite.
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Aug 5, 2014 20:37
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Aug 5, 2014 20:40
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Knight posted:A woman is looking at an article in a beauty magazine about cosmetic surgery and is considering getting a nose job. Suddenly, Freddy pops out of the magazine and shouts "GOT YOUR NOOSSEEE" as his claws cut the girl's nose off and blood flies everywhere. I think this one actually happened man
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Aug 5, 2014 20:47
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Aug 5, 2014 20:53
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A man just woke up and he goes to make some coffee in his Keurig. After he starts it, he blinks and now instead of Keurig the machine reads "Krueger". Whoa - turns out he's still asleep. Then the machine says "how about a nice cup of jo". and the nozzle turns into a snake and snakes up his butt. It starts shooting superheated coffee into him until it starts like shooting out his eyesockets, nose, ears, etc.
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Aug 5, 2014 20:55
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Doobie is working the grill at his dog house when Freddy appears behind him "Wanna FRIE?" he laughs before forcing Doobies head onto the hot grill. Doobie staggers back. Freddy is drinking a soda. "Nothing like an ice cold coke!" He graphically shoves the bottle into doobies anus. Doobie explodes in a shower of coca cola
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Aug 5, 2014 20:56
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gary oldmans diary posted:the nightmare on elm st tv show was p bad Yeah, but there was that one episode with a young Mariska Hargitay stripping down to her underwear, and for a 10 year old kid in the 80s, it was pretty much the greatest thing ever. 
Vastarien fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Aug 5, 2014 |
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Aug 5, 2014 20:56
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A man is doing poorly on a multiple choice test on paper and his pencil lead breaks. He gets up from his desk and goes to sharpen his pencil. The pencil sharpener turns into freddy's head and the arm turns into freddy's hand. "Not so sharp are ya?" freddy asks as he pulls the man into the sharpener, grinding him into a pulp.
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Aug 5, 2014 21:03
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Vastarien posted:Yeah, but there was that one episode with a young Mariska Hargitay stripping down to her underwear, and for a 10 year old kid in the 80s, it was pretty much the greatest thing ever. A kid is whacking it to a cable tv show when he is possessed by Freddy. He says, in a Freddy voice "Wanks for YOUR memory!" The kid jerks it so hard than he tears his dick off. Freddy appears in the wound and stabs him. "What a jerk!"
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Aug 5, 2014 21:03
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a guy walks in on his dad having sex with another man. As he stares at the other man's rear end at it pounds away at his dad's rear end Freddy's head pops out of the butthole and grins saying "dad gay, so what?" before snaring the guy's face with both hand-blades and pulls him inside the rear end. As the rear end in a top hat closes around them both you hear freddy say, muffled by the now-closed rear end, "i'm gay"
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Aug 5, 2014 21:05
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| # ? May 3, 2024 04:39 |
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Drad_Bert posted:I think this one actually happened man
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Aug 5, 2014 21:07
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