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I ran with blindingly fast speed down deserted city block after deserted city block. I weaved effortlessly between bird collection trollies, their drivers' pale piles of bones. I lept gracefully over a small news kiosk, wishing that I could freeze time so that I could read the headlines on the newspapers but that actually wasn't one of my powers that I had so I didn't do it. I guess I was a super-hero now, which is one of the things I had always wanted to be so I was very happy with this current state of affairs to say the least.
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Aug 15, 2014 03:49
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| # ? May 2, 2024 12:27 |
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My father always told me "hard work always pays off" and while I never did believe him before, I did now.
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Aug 15, 2014 03:55
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I finally reached the barren plain upon which my apartment building stood. The clouds continued to churn in the sky and spew a torrent of ruby rain down on the bird-choked earth.
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Aug 15, 2014 04:18
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I ate at Arby's once, and found it very disappointing. The sandwich were too small and the sauce wasn't very good. I was forced to go back to the counter and order two more sandwiches just to get full and the girl who took my order and pushed the buttons on the machine that makes the food looked at me with a look that seemed to communicate disgust and sadness. When the additional sandwiches arrived, they were no better than the first two and then I saw a homeless person come in the front door and try refill a paper cup at the coke fountain. This was all just too much for me and I left after I ate the sandwiches.
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Aug 15, 2014 04:23
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a starwar betamax posted:I clenched and un-clenched my fists, I balled and unballed my feet. Suprisingly, I had no injuries, even after my fall from the window and also from my crash through the window that led to my fall. It seemed that this new body I was growing was surprisingly resilient. I never asked for this. Just like Adam Jenson never asked for his body to become physically improved in Deus Ex: Human Revolution. I felt like someone who was feeling the terribly burden of the added responsibility that comes with added ability.
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Aug 15, 2014 05:55
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Stoat posted:wait did this actually happen you;d know this if you actually picked up a newspaper, stoat
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Aug 15, 2014 06:39
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its too bad their sandwiches are disgusting because arbies does make good curly fries and a jamocha shake or something it was called- do not joke about my weight. i only frequent the arbies diner on my name day.
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Aug 15, 2014 07:03
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the chicken bacon & swiss is pretty good but avoid the roast beef
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Aug 15, 2014 14:37
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god drat i wish i had denim powers
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Aug 15, 2014 15:09
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a starwar betamax posted:the girl who took my order and pushed the buttons on the machine that makes the food looked at me with a look that seemed to communicate disgust and sadness. She, being a woman, could never understand
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Aug 15, 2014 16:48
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a starwar betamax posted:my groin and my arm groins
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Aug 15, 2014 17:46
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Bat man has his Bat cave, Super Man has his fortress of ice, Spider Man has a place where he goes, Darkwing Duck has that place in the Golden Gate Bridge where he keeps his vehicles and computers. I needed a lair, a base of operations. A place where I could begin my career as a super-hero, ridding this city of all the vile problems that plague it such as graffiti on vacant Blockbusters and other problems as well.
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Aug 16, 2014 03:01
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But first, I needed sustenance, I needed to feed. Thankfully, the forces-that-be had provided me with all the food I would ever need. I had fallen from the sky like manna in a Sunday-school flannel graph and it littered the ground at my feet. I calmly reached down and plucked up a ripe bird. I held it to my bandaged face and deeply inhaled its rich aroma. I powerfully unhinged my jaw, I vaguely felt the staples give way and snap apart, and I brought my teeth down sharply on the birds torso. The warm and putrid entrails gushed into my mouth like a bird-sized Gusher brand candy.
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Aug 16, 2014 03:08
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After I consumed three or four of the delectable treats, I raised my face to the apartment building before me. I calmly began scaling the outside of the edifice in exactly the same what that I wouldn't have scaled it before. In that, if I had attempted to climb the outside of the building before, I probably would have been afraid to do so because I suffer from acute acrophobia which is the fear of heights. I also suffered from agoraphobia which is the fear of crowds of women but I am unsure if I still suffer from that particular affliction.
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Aug 16, 2014 03:12
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I'll admit that I love this thing and fived the poo poo out of it but I'm getting a really strong Richard McBeef vibe here.
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Aug 16, 2014 05:21
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As I climbed the crumbling brick facade, I paused to peer into a window which contained a woman on the other side of it. She was wearing a pair of pants and a long-sleeved shirt of some sort and her hair was in a ball on the back of her head and she had her back towards me and she was engaged in eating a cup of yogurt. I wondered if she was into gaming and I glanced at the walls but I saw no evidence of said lifestyle.
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Aug 16, 2014 14:38
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Women had never paid me much attention before and maybe now they would, now that I had my new strong body. Perhaps I would be irresistible to them, they would be drawn to me like a fruit fly is drawn to a banana that is left out too long on my counter and is starting to soften and I plan on eating it but never get around to it end eventually throw it out.
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Aug 16, 2014 14:41
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As I watched, the woman finished her yogurt, and then she threw the container away, and then she walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
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Aug 16, 2014 14:43
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I was excited by this tantalizing bit of voyeurism I had engaged in, and looked forward to many more exactly like it. I wondered what other flavors of yogurt other women might eat. Time would only tell.
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Aug 16, 2014 14:44
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Far below me, I heard the squeal of sirens and the crunch of tires rolling over brittle bird carcasses. I glanced down, through the red haze that filled the air, and saw dozens of hospital vehicles and police wagons and those trucks that SWAT teams get out of and motorcycles and news vans. A man stood at the edge of the group and lifted a megaphone to his lips. "Climb back down off this building and allow yourself to be taken into custody! You are a danger to everyone, the infection you are carrying is highly contagious and must be stopped!" The voice of the man sounded eerily similar to that of my father in that it sounded exactly like my father's voice because the man was my father.
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Aug 16, 2014 14:54
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The tiny figure that was my father handed the megaphone to another tiny figure that I recognized as my wife, Starlight. I could see them clearly, even at this far distance, not due to any new superpower I had acquired but simply because my eyesight has always been especially acute. I remember once, while riding in the back of my dad's 1995 Toyota Previa, I was able to read the road signs on the highway ahead several seconds before they came into clear focus for my father. "Please, sweetheart..." My wife intoned, "Please come down before you hurt yourself"
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Aug 16, 2014 16:09
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With lightning speed, I composed my first and final speech to these people who used to be my family and friends in my mind. "With my new power, my new strength, the world is about to change, the world will be remade in my image. The things that I care about, the things that I know are important, will be exalted. All the so-called concerns and cares and preoccupations you tiny ants have will be crushed under my mighty denim fists and also my denim feet." I thought to myself.
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Aug 16, 2014 16:13
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Then I opened my mouth and I said those words to the people down below.
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Aug 16, 2014 16:13
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I am grinning so much.
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Aug 16, 2014 16:30
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I continued my ascent until I reached the window that let into my apartment. The window was already broken from where it had broken the day before when Matt's body had broken through it and broke the glass. I climbed through. Once I stepped foot into my apartment, I felt the building begin to shake beneath my feet. The vibrations increased in force and began to travel up through my denim skin and denim muscles and even my denim bones. I shook and quaked along with the building the two of us trapped in a mutual invisible dance the like of which the world can never know except it probably looked a lot like one of those arm waving balloon men that they put out side of used car lots except instead of just waving its arms there is also an earthquake.
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Aug 16, 2014 18:31
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I fell to my knees, feeling the energy of the universe coursing through me, it was as if I was a toaster strudel and the fabric of space-time itself was a toaster. I looked down at my quivering body as the denim further engulfed me. It rose rapidly from my legs, smothering my pelvis and leaving behind a blank, denim void. It flowed from my arms to by chest and back, stopping just short of my head.
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Aug 16, 2014 21:53
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It was at that moment that Matt burst into the room.
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Aug 16, 2014 21:53
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a starwar betamax posted:It was at that moment that Matt burst into the room. 
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Aug 17, 2014 01:42
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whaaaat?????
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Aug 17, 2014 02:03
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You know that part of the movie where there is a twist ending like for instance in the movie "The Sixth Sense" when Bruce Willis finds out that he was the ghost all along, well that is how I felt at the moment that Matt returned. Another movie that has a twist endings is Indian Jones: and the Search for the Crystal Skull.
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Aug 17, 2014 02:54
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"Matt!" I shouted at Matt, "Matt, what are you doing here....alive?" "Listen man..." He stammered the way he always did, "Listen, you've got to stop this... it isn't right, you're gonna hurt somebody." His words slurred out of his mouth like half-frozen ice cream at a Golden Corral. I stormed over to the window and looked out, the storm raged outside in a fury, a whirlwind had formed outside of our window and spun around us in a circular fashion the way that a whirlwind does. It whipped up dust and dirt and debris and it had picked up the millions of bird carcasses and spun them around and around in the air. If you have ever seen a commercial for those vacuum cleaners they make in England with the see-through inner chamber you can envision exactly what I am describing.
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Aug 17, 2014 02:58
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"This is all your fault Matt, you're the reason I have been brought to this..." My voice trailed off as I saw what he was about to do because what he was about to do was pick up my external hard drive of Breaking Bad fan art. "I don't want to do this... but I will" He said, gripping the drive in both hands and flexing it between them. I could hear the plastic case begin to crack. "No.. no Matt... stop, I'll do whatever you want" I heard myself mutter.
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Aug 17, 2014 03:01
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He paused, and relaxed his hands. He looked down at the ground for a moment, lost in thought, and then he looked back into my eyes. "No. This ends... now!" As he shouted the final word he flung the hard drive right at my face in a perfect spinning motion that didn't surprise me at all because he was really good at frisbee golf.
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Aug 17, 2014 03:02
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In the Spider Man movies, Peter Parker uses his newfound spider-abilities to slow down time and dodge the punches of a bully at his high school and there have been a myriad of times during my high school years that I wished I had those same powers and I wished for them again in this instant. But they didn't come. I stood, transfixed, motionless. I saw the hard drive flashing towards me I felt the blinding impact of it spearing into my skull. I toppled backwards.
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Aug 17, 2014 03:05
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Aug 17, 2014 03:12
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Unsurprisingly, I fell out of the same window that Matt's headless body had fallen out of the day before. As I fell, I tried to piece together the last few days, to make heads and tails of it. It had to have meaning, it had to have a purpose. I felt that if I could just learn the lesson I was supposed to learn from all this, I could wake up from this nightmare and go back to my peaceful existence of commenting on Youtube videos. I tried to reflect on all my actions, to find where I had gone wrong. I found nothing. Every step of the way I had acted exactly as an right-thinking person would have acted. I had done nothing wrong. "Okay universe!" I howled into the wind as I plummeted, "I've figured it out...I know what it all means now!"
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Aug 17, 2014 03:20
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My family would always go to Mazio's Pizza after Wednesday night church and all the other kids would go play in the arcade and I would always ask my parents for some quarters and they would always say no, so I would spend the evening searching for quarters under and behind the machines. Crawling around on all fours, hands and knees sticky from spilled cokes and chewing gum and mucous. Sometimes, I would find a quarter. I would then play that quarter on my favorite game, X-Men. I would also choose Cyclops. Sometimes I could make it to the end of the first level where you fight the big fat guy. I never beat him. Not even once.
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Aug 17, 2014 03:23
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I spun my body in the air and face down towards the ground in the direction I was falling, which was down. The wind was spinning the bird corpses around and as I watched they coalesced into one single giant bird. This was unsurprising to me because I realized that this was my final test, the final boss at the end of the level. I only had to defeat this foe, and I could finally advance... to whatever came next.
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Aug 17, 2014 03:25
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Aug 17, 2014 03:30
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| # ? May 2, 2024 12:27 |
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What happened next was the second most disappointment moment of my life. The monstrous mockery of a bird opened its vast beak as if in a giant yawn and then nonchalantly snapped it shut as I fell into it, painfully shearing my body in two. But it goes without saying that the first most disappointing moment of my life was when Firefly was cancelled by Fox after only one and a half seasons.
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Aug 17, 2014 03:40
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