a starwar betamax posted:

All the while the bird incessantly beat upon with windows without ceasing. They beat on the windows with their wings, beaks, talons. They slammed their bodies into the glass, a mass of black feathers and gore acting not as a disorganized collection of bodies but as one unified whole.

I clutched my ears with both hands, desperate for silence.

I don't even know why the birds do this it doesn't seem like it is in their best interest, if I was a bird i certainly would not beat my body senselessly against the window of an apartment building I would probably just go flying around and lay eggs in a nest.

My father once told me "What are your long term plans?" and "Your mother and I think it would be good for you to get a job and live on your own for a while" and I have often used his hurtful, abusive words to my advantage. Repeating them over and over, absorbing the pain and transforming it into power. I could feel my energy levels go up as I chanted, silently at first and then slowly rising into a triumphant shout!

"How is THIS for a long term plan?" I shouted to the birds and to my father.

I dropped to my knees and began crying.