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duckmaster
Sep 13, 2004
Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK
somethingawful dot com comedy forums in bad joke shocker

scottish football fan in bringing politics into football shocker

read all about it!

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serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.

duckmaster posted:

somethingawful dot com comedy forums in bad joke shocker

scottish football fan in bringing politics into football shocker

read all about it!

Its funny because he'd be the first to kick off about rape jokes anywhere else!!!

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.
Trp is a safe space for bad jokes, check your rape joke privilege.

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.
Och, feck off with that shite ya wee bawbag.

Russ
Dec 17, 2005

Chimping around, kick my brains round the floor
These are the days - it never rains but it pours
Aberdeen were asking for it by defending like that

Her Dryer
Oct 15, 2012
http://news.stv.tv/west-central/296434-celtic-goalkeeper-lukasz-zaluska-assaulted-in-ashton-lane-glasgow/

quote:

Celtic goalkeeper Lukasz Zaluska has been attacked in the street by a fellow Scottish Premiership player while on a night out.

Zaluska, 32, was assaulted by a player, who cannot be named for legal reasons, while out in the west end of Glasgow on Monday.

I'll assume that he just got RKO'd by Gary Harkins outta nowhere

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.

Russ posted:

Aberdeen were asking for it by defending like that

Agreed, I left the pub after the first half, it was painful to watch. We're in dire need of a proper leftback, Considine just doesn't have the pace, and a keeper. Clangers is just Clangers.

jre
Sep 2, 2011

To the cloud ?



Coohoolin posted:

Agreed, I left the pub after the first half,

No true Scotsman supporter would bail on their team at halftime.

Russ posted:

Aberdeen were asking for it by defending like that

What was your prediction for Hamilton's finishing place at the beginning of the season?

Russ
Dec 17, 2005

Chimping around, kick my brains round the floor
These are the days - it never rains but it pours
12th. Maybe 11th if Dundee or St Mirren were rotten. I sat in the stands last season with 90% the same team as this year and watched us go 4-0 down at home to part-time Cowdenbeath, throw away the league by losing 4-1 at Dumbarton, fail to beat Alloa every time and gain 2 points from a possible 12 against a poor Dundee team who would have finished mid-table in our last promotion campaign. A ridiculously tight victory eeked out over the worst Hibs side in living memory while we had all the momentum after 10-2 and beating Falkirk hardly made me think that there would be much to cheer this season.

I'm always quite pessimistic about Hamilton. You would be too if you had to watch some of the utter shite over the years when we didn't even have a home and played at Cliftonhill. Our current run of form is going to end at some point, most likely starting this week away to Dundee since Fat Paul Hartley knows how to beat Accies with his eyes closed. Even in our first season in the SPL in 2008, we had a fantastic 2 months at the start of the year playing a 3-6-1 until we got found out. I think Billy Reid even won Manager of the Month when he got us up to about 3rd from bottom.

Anyone over the years who has ever been unfortunate to read my shitposts and trolling and fakeposting in everything from the World Cup to Burnley matchday threads probably knows that I live and breathe football and watch it all day and talk about it with everyone I know but generally it's in spite of my own team until this year. Even a "good year" for Hamilton usually means we're 3rd in the 2nd tier and you get patronising comments and questions from people who know gently caress all about Scottish football outside of their own Old Firm side. But this season people actually seem to know where we are in the league and their most recent result or two. It basically changes the way that I talk to people about football and it's a bit scary but in a good way because I can still feel superior to them by talking about False 9's and Metalist Kharkiv's latest spending spree.

I've seen us play in 4 different decades (I'm old as poo poo) and this is probably the most I've ever enjoyed football in my life so I suppose that's pretty good.

The worst that could happen is that we'll go on a bad run and sell our best players, in which case I expected us to finish bottom at the start of the year so who gives a poo poo and players like Tony Andreu (22), Ziggy Gordon and even Ali Crawford are young enough and talented enough to actually make a career for themselves in England. Not a McCarthy or a McArthur situation unless they're really lucky, but watching teams like Leeds and Fulham this season who put our budget to shame, I could not be more adamant that the three names I mentioned there would all improve most English 2nd tier first 11s.

Basically this is a long gay BoastPost but gently caress off when am I ever going to get the chance again, let's loving get into Europe and lose to a team from Estonia in the Round of 512 Pre-Pre-Pre-Qualifiers it'll be great

Scotlander
Jun 22, 2013

Russ posted:

Basically this is a long gay BoastPost but gently caress off when am I ever going to get the chance again, let's loving get into Europe and lose to a team from Estonia in the Round of 512 Pre-Pre-Pre-Qualifiers it'll be great

It is the Lanarkshire way.

Popehoist
Feb 5, 2008

There you go rubens, all your fault! You went on the wrong side of the car!
That was a good post. As someone who supports 2 Bad Teams i feel your pain and am happy that your side is getting some love :)

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.

Popehoist posted:

That was a good post. As someone who supports 2 Bad Teams i feel your pain and am happy that your side is getting some love :)

*Gasp* Another irish liverpool and united plastic. :rolleyes:

Giovanni_Sinclair
Apr 25, 2009

It was on this day that his greatest enemy defeated, the true lord of darkness arose. His name? MARIO.
So the channel that shows the Scottish league here in the states is having a free preview this weekend and am going to be watching the Aberdeen Motherwell game, what should I expect ?

DrWrestling69
Feb 4, 2008

Tracyanne...

Giovanni_Sinclair posted:

So the channel that shows the Scottish league here in the states is having a free preview this weekend and am going to be watching the Aberdeen Motherwell game, what should I expect ?

pain

Giovanni_Sinclair
Apr 25, 2009

It was on this day that his greatest enemy defeated, the true lord of darkness arose. His name? MARIO.

I figured, they aired the "highlight" show before the game and it was meh.

Chas McGill
Oct 29, 2010

loves Fat Philippe
It is actually an ok game. Good goal from Clearasil's Hayes.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Giovanni_Sinclair posted:

I figured, they aired the "highlight" show before the game and it was meh.

The football is poo poo but the grounds are generally pretty small so the cameras are close to the action which is something I miss watching the Premier League(RIP Highbury camera angle).

Chas McGill
Oct 29, 2010

loves Fat Philippe
First time I've seen a contact lens change on the pitch.

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.
Aberdeen are actually cool and good and Willo Flood might kill someone. Also Peter Pawlett is playing and he's a great wee player so keep an eye on him.

Chas McGill
Oct 29, 2010

loves Fat Philippe

Coohoolin posted:

Aberdeen are actually cool and good and Willo Flood might kill someone. Also Peter Pawlett is playing and he's a great wee player so keep an eye on him.
not so wee anymore

Giovanni_Sinclair
Apr 25, 2009

It was on this day that his greatest enemy defeated, the true lord of darkness arose. His name? MARIO.

Shrapnig posted:

The football is poo poo but the grounds are generally pretty small so the cameras are close to the action which is something I miss watching the Premier League(RIP Highbury camera angle).

Yeah I'll give you guys that, I love the small grounds and also miss Highbury as a american arsenal fan.

Grievo
Jul 13, 2006

God.
I love Hearts. I love football and I love Russ.

The only person I've met who loves football as much as I do.

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.
I just saw Nicky Low walking up Kings Street with a four pack of Monster under his arm.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/oct/25/mike-ashley-rangers-wins-control

Rangers might actually survive with Ashley in control of the club but he's definitely going to be taking naming rights from everything he can

Total Meatlove
Jan 28, 2007

:japan:
Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

Jose posted:

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/oct/25/mike-ashley-rangers-wins-control

Rangers might actually survive with Ashley in control of the club but he's definitely going to be taking naming rights from everything he can

That's his model and why the club are attractive to him, there's already suggestions he's got the rights to one of the crests, there's been a change in how they're used from last season.
At some point I hope people connected with the boards ( :lol: ) will be investigated for the financial irregularities that left a team in the third tier needing a third emergency loan/ share issue in the millions to keep the lights on.

jre
Sep 2, 2011

To the cloud ?



Total Meatlove posted:

That's his model and why the club are attractive to him, there's already suggestions he's got the rights to one of the crests, there's been a change in how they're used from last season.
At some point I hope people connected with the boards ( :lol: ) will be investigated for the financial irregularities that left a team in the third tier needing a third emergency loan/ share issue in the millions to keep the lights on.

The £3 million raised in the last share issue lasted 43 days, and now they need this loan from Ashley. Welp.

Total Meatlove
Jan 28, 2007

:japan:
Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

jre posted:

The £3 million raised in the last share issue lasted 43 days, and now they need this loan from Ashley. Welp.

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/oct/27/graham-wallace-rangers-resigns-mike-ashley-2m-loan

Wallace is gone, Ashley has security over the Albion and Edmiston House which means he's in control of the Club Deck as well.

Fun times.

tbp
Mar 1, 2008

DU WIRST NIEMALS ALLEINE MARSCHIEREN

Grievo posted:

I love Hearts. I love football and I love Russ.

The only person I've met who loves football as much as I do.

I love you Grievo

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.
Let us come together and remember that Hibs are poo poo.

euroboy
Mar 24, 2004

Hibs rules

Popehoist
Feb 5, 2008

There you go rubens, all your fault! You went on the wrong side of the car!
i'm a bit sad that rangers won't die

Thrifting Day!
Nov 25, 2006

I'm a bit sad you won't die.

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.
Naughty Naughty Celtic trying to defend a racist.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/29374885

chuggo is BACK
Jul 1, 2008




"Chuggo"

PWM POTM December 2014

serious gaylord posted:

Naughty Naughty Celtic trying to defend a racist.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/29374885

Lol are you surprised

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.
He's promised us, sweared on his mum and everything, that he did not call that lad a filthy n*gger. As such we find it incredulous that the SFA have chosen to punish him with a 7 game ban.

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque puņ essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

I heard someone did a racism

is there a pdf yet (plus a .txt version for non-Old Firm clubs)?

Charlotte Hornets
Dec 30, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
I think they should also punish Villa for bringing a racist to UK.

Her Dryer
Oct 15, 2012
RIP Tonev, you were poo poo and then also racist

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.
I want to know what he said.

Also, Hearts have managed, despite going into administration last year, to provide living wages for their employees. Celtic do not.

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jre
Sep 2, 2011

To the cloud ?



Haggis Heed posted:

I'm a bit sad you won't die.

:rip: Haggis Heed


serious gaylord posted:

Naughty Naughty Celtic trying to defend a racist.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/29374885

Should have given him Hoopers old number.

Coohoolin posted:

Also, Hearts have managed, despite going into administration last year, to provide living wages for their employees. Celtic do not.

Are you a Hearts fan now ? Last time I checked Aberdeen had no plans to implement it either.

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