The Bojan - Jozy Goalscoring Challenge - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > The Bojan - Jozy Goalscoring Challenge

«‹›39 »

advanced statsman: Dec 26, 2012; ISLAM FC

I wish Jozy the Six-Tool Striker Josmer Altidore aka Drogba Jr or BIg Jeezy played for the Portland Homos because there would be some insane videogame burger tifos out there for him

# ? Apr 6, 2015 09:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 5, 2024 15:53

Brendan Rodgers: Jun 11, 2014

Just gonna assume Portland Homos is a real team because this is the garbage country that gave us the something something Redskins.

# ? Apr 6, 2015 20:11

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Brendan Rodgers posted:

this is the garbage country that gave us the something something Redskins.

The Redskins name is good and it isn't racist

# ? Apr 6, 2015 20:15

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

Defoe's goal yesterday has stirred up another round of Jozy posts

quote:

How good is the EPL, really?

Its an honest question. It�s a very, very EXPENSIVE league, mind�but outside the top 5-6 teams, which are just absurdly overpaid with the exception of Southampton, is the level really that great?

I think it�s an extremely PRESSURIZED league, mind. Given the vast amounts of money thrown at these players the fan expectations and media pressure is just insane, and they�re just incredibly vicious and put guys in a fishbowl that I don�t know how any young player survives, to be honest with you. But the level of play just plain doesn�t impress me a ton, usually. It�s not as pretty technically as La Liga, not as tactical as Serie A, not as polished and precise and lockstep as the Bundesliga, doesn�t have near the flair of the Brazilian league.

Something�s off, with English soccer. The top teams import a bunch of highly-paid foreigners, but for whatever reason they�re doing a pretty crappy job of developing English players. I don�t know if it�s a general lack of athleticism in the English population or the aforementioned media/fan hostility but for whatever reason, as much soccer as they play and as much money as they spend on it, the English are just not that great at soccer right now�which is definitely borne out by the results � or lack thereof � their national team has gotten lately. They took second to the US in 2010 � and that was legit; we were better. They didn�t even make it out of group in Brazil�and that was legit, Costa Rica and Uruguay were better. And they win a lot of games against the likes of Malta and Wales 1-0 in qualifying.

Altidore was more than a good enough soccer player to be at Sunderland. I do question know if he had thick enough skin to make it in England�and IMHO a whole bunch of that starts off the field and has nothing to do with soccer. That�s not being a �man�s league�, that�s a social problem. There�s a weirdly hostile culture there that tends to eat its own, and almost seems to enjoy tossing soccer players off the sacrificial altar the moment they start struggling, and you gotta be just INCREDIBLY thick-skinned to gut through it.

quote:

So how is it that he scores pretty consistently at the International level, against even the top squads?

He�s scored great � not just good � goals against the likes of Spain as far back at the �09 Confeds Cup, when he shrugged off and turned Pujols and then almost took Iker Castillo�s hand off with a blast from outside 18. He got a brace against Germany and then a hat trick in Bosnia. With the USMNT, he looks different. I can guarantee you if we ever bump into England at the International level he�ll be dangerous all day � he was, in fact, quite dangerous against England in the 2010 World Cup, and really should have scored when he absolutely dogged Jamie Carragher around the edge and almost snuck one in at near post. He looked good enough then � against the alleged best from England.

# ? Apr 7, 2015 00:27

Barvo: Feb 19, 2008; by Ralp

African AIDS cum posted:

The Redskins name is good and it isn't racist

This is 100% not true even if Libs are ruining the States or w/e, no place for it in the modern game

# ? Apr 7, 2015 00:47

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

GG please rename me Iker Castillo

# ? Apr 7, 2015 01:18

Ewar Woowar: Feb 25, 2007

Pujols was offsides

# ? Apr 7, 2015 01:26

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

e: I hosed this up I'm sorry

blue footed boobie fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Apr 7, 2015

# ? Apr 7, 2015 02:09

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

e: I hosed this up I'm sorry

blue footed boobie fucked around with this message at 02:13 on Apr 7, 2015

# ? Apr 7, 2015 02:09

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

trem_two posted:

I don’t know if it’s a general lack of athleticism in the English population

MODS

# ? Apr 7, 2015 02:10

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

God damnit I have no idea how I did this I'm sorry

# ? Apr 7, 2015 02:11

Lord of Garbagemen: Jan 28, 2014; Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

blue footed boobie posted:

God damnit I have no idea how I did this I'm sorry

blue footed boobie posted:

e: I hosed this up I'm sorry

You'll never recover from this.

# ? Apr 7, 2015 02:20

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

blue footed boobie posted:

God damnit I have no idea how I did this I'm sorry

Jesus Christ dude

# ? Apr 7, 2015 02:30

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

blue footed boobie posted:

God damnit I have no idea how I did this I'm sorry

the legendary quadruple post spotted in its natural habitat

# ? Apr 7, 2015 02:40

paddyboat: Feb 20, 2013; Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

I did a posting spaz-out like that once.

I was trying to post Jozy's goal against Germany.

# ? Apr 7, 2015 02:41

pik_d: Feb 24, 2006; follow the white dove

TRP Post of the Month October 2021

Gigi Galli posted:

Jesus Christ dude

what did he post at first

# ? Apr 7, 2015 03:08

Shit Farm: Jan 10, 2013

Parody Threads posted:

This is 100% not true even if Libs are ruining the States or w/e, no place for it in the modern game

It's not don't be a human being.

# ? Apr 7, 2015 03:17

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

poo poo Farm posted:

It's not don't be a human being.

who cares don't talk about this.

# ? Apr 7, 2015 03:23

blue footed boobie: Sep 14, 2012; UEFA SUPREMACY

I tried to do my original post, but I accidentally copied and pasted an article from USA Today about the Rollingstone rape lawsuit instead of what I meant to post. Then I kept trying to edit it, but I was on mobile and I kept fat-fingering the quote and edit button.

# ? Apr 7, 2015 03:31

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

blue footed boobie posted:

I tried to do my original post, but I accidentally copied and pasted an article from USA Today about the Rollingstone rape lawsuit instead of what I meant to post. Then I kept trying to edit it, but I was on mobile and I kept fat-fingering the quote and edit button.

Jozy has the first touch of a UVA frat boy

# ? Apr 7, 2015 04:17

Byolante: Mar 23, 2008; by Cyrano4747

African AIDS cum posted:

Jozy has the first touch of a UVA frat boy

Well he definitely was hounded out of his home by a hysterical media and internet putting pressure on his institution. It all fits!

# ? Apr 7, 2015 04:19

Barvo: Feb 19, 2008; by Ralp

African AIDS cum posted:

Jozy has the first touch of a UVA frat boy

Um i bet if you were to actually ask a UVA frat boy for his opinion on the matter he would say someone like Jozy will never have anything in comment with him.

# ? Apr 7, 2015 08:07

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

Byolante posted:

Well he definitely was hounded out of his home by a hysterical media and internet putting pressure on his institution. It all fits!

Nothing fits Jozy because he's fat as heck.

# ? Apr 7, 2015 09:36

dex_sda: Oct 11, 2012

blue footed boobie posted:

I tried to do my original post, but I accidentally copied and pasted an article from USA Today about the Rollingstone rape lawsuit instead of what I meant to post. Then I kept trying to edit it, but I was on mobile and I kept fat-fingering the quote and edit button.

That might be the most hilarious thing I've ever read. Thanks, was having a really poo poo day too

# ? Apr 7, 2015 16:37

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

NNick posted:

Top Scorer: YAYA SANOGO!!!!!
Difference: 1
Bojan goals: 5
Jozy goals: 5
YAYA SANOGO GOALS:6

Gigi Galli posted:

Hm this isn't part of the contest and because of this, if Yaya Sanogo doesn't score at least 6 goals you will be banned.

Sanogo has some work to do

# ? Apr 25, 2015 18:49

African AIDS cum: Feb 29, 2012; Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

Gigi Galli posted:

Hm this isn't part of the contest and because of this, if Yaya Sanogo doesn't score at least 6 goals you will be banned.

Anyone know how many goals Sanogo scored?

# ? Jul 17, 2015 16:53

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

African AIDS cum posted:

Anyone know how many goals Sanogo scored?

lol RIP NNick

# ? Jul 17, 2015 17:01

Barvo: Feb 19, 2008; by Ralp

Ahahah that's like opening a bottle of pretty good (~$150) wine after letting it age a bit. Maybe not incredible but very enjoyable.

# ? Jul 17, 2015 17:43

Strawman: Feb 9, 2008; Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.

Whats the TRP contest going to be this season? Falcao vs ?

# ? Jul 19, 2015 17:16

pik_d: Feb 24, 2006; follow the white dove

TRP Post of the Month October 2021

Strawman posted:

Whats the TRP contest going to be this season? Falcao vs ?

Falcao goals vs. Delph appearances would be fun

# ? Jul 19, 2015 17:41

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

A Falcao contest could be good. If anyone has any contest ideas feel free to post them here.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:06

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

Falcao goals vs. Balotelli goals.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:08

pik_d: Feb 24, 2006; follow the white dove

TRP Post of the Month October 2021

Gigi Galli posted:

A Falcao contest could be good. If anyone has any contest ideas feel free to post them here.

Falcao goals vs. Falcao injuries

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:09

Ewar Woowar: Feb 25, 2007

vyelkin posted:

Falcao goals vs. Balotelli goals.

Mario will be long gone by the time the league starts.

Straight up Falcao appearances/goals

# ? Jul 21, 2015 03:37

TheBigAristotle: Feb 8, 2007; I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.; Grimey Drawer