- tao of lmao
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I walk in, the crimson light reflects off my face. Flexing and stretching my fingers in my favorite fingerless leather gloves, I scan over the familiar grounds of the arcade, my yard. I own this place. Name a machine and I've got a top-3 score on it.
Dig-Dug? Top score.
Pacman? Top Score.
Donkey Kong? Top-five but don't get me started on that Billy Mitchell punk. It's a touchy subject.
Gonna warm up with some Missile Command. Normally, I start with Gallaga, but some poo poo-head and his kid are hogging the machine. Their scores are pathetically low.
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Aug 11, 2014 16:44
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 18:11
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- tao of lmao
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Y'know people always say to me: "Julio, you're a real arcade pro, wanna be my time crisis partner?"
I just look at them like "Time crisis? really? I play games that take quarters, not dollars tyvm  "
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Aug 11, 2014 16:48
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- Gross Dude
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Gross Dude
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At my local arcade on the mega man game, I have both the top score and fastest run. I am also the only person who has ever played it.
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Aug 11, 2014 16:49
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- tao of lmao
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Though to be fair, I've been coming here for so long, I could probably play any game for free. It's possible I'm the only person keeping this place open though.
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Aug 11, 2014 16:50
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- tao of lmao
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Walked by a kid no older than 12 struggling to beak 100 points in ski-ball. I dropped a 285 on the lane next to him and walked away. No, I didn't give him my extra tickets.
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Aug 11, 2014 16:56
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- pogi
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You should bring in a 6 pack and drink it like it ain't no thang.
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Aug 11, 2014 17:01
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- tao of lmao
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You should bring in a 6 pack and drink it like it ain't no thang.
Ummm, you don't get to be as good at games as I am with alcohol or drugs. The only highs I need are scores.
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Aug 11, 2014 17:07
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- tao of lmao
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The thing I like about this arcade is they have a genuine Budweiser Tapper machine. If I walk into an arcade and see Root Beer Tapper, I turn around and walk right out.
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Aug 11, 2014 17:12
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- Noctis Horrendae
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Ummm, you don't get to be as good at games as I am with alcohol or drugs. The only highs I need are scores.
preach it, Air Julio
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Aug 11, 2014 17:20
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- alnilam
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Do uncle festers elextrical thing
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Aug 11, 2014 17:27
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- Pedantra
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by Lowtax
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Walked by a kid no older than 12 struggling to beak 100 points in ski-ball. I dropped a 285 on the lane next to him and walked away. No, I didn't give him my extra tickets.
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Aug 11, 2014 17:31
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- A Bad King
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Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.
Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?
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Air Julio is a chump who can't play through the first stage of Area 51 the dude is a liar.
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Aug 11, 2014 17:34
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- FluffieDuckie
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the manager of the arcade told me not to return. something about tilting the pinball machines.
but we all know it was because i was primed to beat his Ms. Pacman score
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Aug 11, 2014 17:35
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- google THIS
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i don't mean to brag but during my adolescent years, on two separate occasions, i had hot girls hit on me while i was playing arcade games
and i didn't let it break my concentration
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Aug 11, 2014 17:37
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- tao of lmao
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i don't mean to brag but during my adolescent years, on two separate occasions, i had hot girls hit on me while i was playing arcade games
and i didn't let it break my concentration
this guy gets it. eye on the prize!
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Aug 11, 2014 17:40
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- tao of lmao
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I've held my local Mortal Kombat 2 machine for a record 5 days. After day 2 they let me take it home, but I kept bringing it back every morning and wrecking noobs.
I was finally defeated by my arch nemesis Billy Mitchell, but it was only after a horrific thumb strain took me off my game.
I'm going to murder Billy Mitchell.
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Aug 11, 2014 17:45
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- saboten
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T I E
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Aug 11, 2014 17:46
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- tao of lmao
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Billy and I go way back to the golden age of NBA Jam. We absolutely dominated everyone in our way, eventually taking our show on the road. An arcade jockeying version of the Harlem Globetrotters, we were on top of the world; rolling in money and women won through various bets. We were so good only one of us would actually play at a time.
Things were going well. Too well, apparently.
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Aug 11, 2014 18:03
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- Pedantra
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by Lowtax
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if theres one thing i cant loving stand its noobs. the worst thing ever is when some complete noob pops in next to you at soul caliber or similar and you ahve to mop the floor with them and they're like "wow, you're good" and im like "lmao i know, and you suck really bad, i wish i could do some of the moves from the game on you in real life right now and send you into an epic juggle combo and utterly destroy your body for real" and then they call the cops or whatever, but its worth it cause it totally harshes a good gameflow to suddenly be playing against someone who just doesnt know poo poo about video games anyway.
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Aug 11, 2014 18:17
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- i am he
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Ummm, you don't get to be as good at games as I am with alcohol or drugs. The only highs I need are scores.
if theres one thing i cant loving stand its noobs. the worst thing ever is when some complete noob pops in next to you at soul caliber or similar and you ahve to mop the floor with them and they're like "wow, you're good" and im like "lmao i know, and you suck really bad, i wish i could do some of the moves from the game on you in real life right now and send you into an epic juggle combo and utterly destroy your body for real" and then they call the cops or whatever, but its worth it cause it totally harshes a good gameflow to suddenly be playing against someone who just doesnt know poo poo about video games anyway.
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Aug 11, 2014 18:17
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- FartGhost
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Ummm, you don't get to be as good at games as I am with alcohol or drugs. The only highs I need are scores.
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Aug 11, 2014 18:31
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- Pedantra
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by Lowtax
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Posting in an Air Julio thread. 
badly though (ba-zing)
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Aug 11, 2014 18:31
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- Captain No-mates
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its tough being a celebrity down at the arcade, you get the high scores and then you get the women throwing themselves at you with no self respect. im in a good mood, just crushed some poser at street fighter so i decide to give them what they want. get out my sharpie and upon overflowing bosom initial the autograph theyve been waiting for: "N M 8"
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Aug 11, 2014 18:36
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- i am he
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i tend to gravitate towards the basketball shooting games nowadays. sure, i messed around on the cabinets back in my younger years looking for a good time, but im an adult now.
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Aug 11, 2014 18:41
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- tao of lmao
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its tough being a celebrity down at the arcade, you get the high scores and then you get the women throwing themselves at you with no self respect. im in a good mood, just crushed some poser at street fighter so i decide to give them what they want. get out my sharpie and upon overflowing bosom initial the autograph theyve been waiting for: "N M 8"
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Aug 11, 2014 18:48
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- FluffieDuckie
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its tough being a celebrity down at the arcade, you get the high scores and then you get the women throwing themselves at you with no self respect. im in a good mood, just crushed some poser at street fighter so i decide to give them what they want. get out my sharpie and upon overflowing bosom initial the autograph theyve been waiting for: "N M 8"
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Aug 11, 2014 18:52
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- GEExCEE
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you know what I hate? when some kid comes up to me and is like "you've been playing the star wars game for an hour, can I have a turn?" yeah idiot I've been playing it for an hour because its the best game here. the early bird gets the worm, that's what I say.
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Aug 11, 2014 18:53
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- Ace of Baes
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im a pretty famous arcade player, you may know me from my signature tags, rear end, DAM, BCH, and CNT
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Aug 11, 2014 18:59
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- alnilam
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silent scope? more like silent nope
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Aug 11, 2014 19:05
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- alnilam
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wtf is with the time limits in that game
*lines up perfect shot to save president's daughter*
*clock expires, steam whistle blows*
"welp my shootin is up, union rules, i'm off the clock"
*reclines and cracks a beer right there in the helicopter*
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Aug 11, 2014 19:06
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- tao of lmao
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Billy and I owned the NBA Jam scene. We were the best team in the contiguous 48 and riding high everywhere we went. I don't know what got him into Donkey Kong, but he went down that rabbit-hole hard. Our first loss I remember looking down at his hands and seeing him doing DK moves. Can you believe it? DK moves on an NBA Jam machine? There are no barrels to hop over in Jam, idiot!
We got crushed, but something in Billy just broke. He began to obsess over Donkey Kong. He grew his hair out and started wearing American flag ties. He was like this yuppie/hippie hybrid. It really started creeping me out. We lost something like 20 straight games before I finally confronted him. He had stopped speaking words by this point and communicated only in Donkey Kong sound effects.
It was clear he only cared about that loving monkey at this point. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure he's the reason Jam isn't as popular as it once was.
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Aug 11, 2014 19:31
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- Pedantra
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by Lowtax
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Billy and I owned the NBA Jam scene. We were the best team in the contiguous 48 and riding high everywhere we went. I don't know what got him into Donkey Kong, but he went down that rabbit-hole hard. Our first loss I remember looking down at his hands and seeing him doing DK moves. Can you believe it? DK moves on an NBA Jam machine? There are no barrels to hop over in Jam, idiot!
We got crushed, but something in Billy just broke. He began to obsess over Donkey Kong. He grew his hair out and started wearing American flag ties. He was like this yuppie/hippie hybrid. It really started creeping me out. We lost something like 20 straight games before I finally confronted him. He had stopped speaking words by this point and communicated only in Donkey Kong sound effects.
It was clear he only cared about that loving monkey at this point. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure he's the reason Jam isn't as popular as it once was.
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Aug 11, 2014 20:05
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- Blue's Clues
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lol if you don't have qbert record or joust
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Aug 11, 2014 20:10
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- Captain No-mates
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Billy and I owned the NBA Jam scene. We were the best team in the contiguous 48 and riding high everywhere we went. I don't know what got him into Donkey Kong, but he went down that rabbit-hole hard. Our first loss I remember looking down at his hands and seeing him doing DK moves. Can you believe it? DK moves on an NBA Jam machine? There are no barrels to hop over in Jam, idiot!
We got crushed, but something in Billy just broke. He began to obsess over Donkey Kong. He grew his hair out and started wearing American flag ties. He was like this yuppie/hippie hybrid. It really started creeping me out. We lost something like 20 straight games before I finally confronted him. He had stopped speaking words by this point and communicated only in Donkey Kong sound effects.
It was clear he only cared about that loving monkey at this point. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure he's the reason Jam isn't as popular as it once was.
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Aug 11, 2014 20:11
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- FluffieDuckie
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im a pretty famous arcade player, you may know me from my signature tags, rear end, DAM, BCH, and CNT
yeah i've seen you around, but my tag is aaa and i'm everywhere dude
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Aug 11, 2014 20:18
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- tao of lmao
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yeah i've seen you around, but my tag is aaa and i'm everywhere dude
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Aug 11, 2014 20:31
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 29, 2024 18:11
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- tao of lmao
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Billy Mitchel became the Donkey Kong king, setting the record top-score at the now-famous (thanks to us) Fun Spot arcade in the lakes region of New Hampshire. I watched from a distance as he would attract a crowd of up to 10 people, dazzle them with his DK skills, then amble around the arcade like an ape. I always found it odd that he would imitate Donkey Kong, when he was the bad guy of the game he loved so much. Was his subconscious aware of the fact that he was the villain, and I, the hero? No one really seemed to mind until he started flinging his own feces around. The owner pulled me aside and said: "you must kill Billy Mitchel before it's too late"
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Aug 11, 2014 21:14
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Aug 11, 2014 16:44
