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OP sounds like he'd actually be a good cop though?
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Aug 20, 2014 20:05
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4 The Cause posted:All of teachers praised my writing in highschool. One teacher offered to introduce me to a friend of hers in publishing. I just got so depressed and lost my motivation. I wish I had been on medicine back than. High School teachers get so much horrifically bad writing thrown in their face that this is faint praise at best. You are living in an age where publishing can be done by any hack writer out there via Amazon and you haven't done it yet. You have no future in writing unless you write.
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Aug 20, 2014 23:52
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Xenocides posted:High School teachers get so much horrifically bad writing thrown in their face that this is faint praise at best. You are living in an age where publishing can be done by any hack writer out there via Amazon and you haven't done it yet. You have no future in writing unless you write. This is potentially a good career choice if u write porn btw
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Aug 21, 2014 00:31
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Tighclops posted:Your parents sound kind of lovely OP, but that doesn't excuse pissing away the free ride you've been lucky enough to be given. Grow weed instead of just smoking it all the time, then sell it to the teenaged children of other lovely upper middle class shitbags like your parents. That way you don't have to be a cop and you can nail all the jailbait you like. You will never break into the film industry, abandon that dim hope right now but write a screenplay about your experiences as a dealer anyway as a hobby. What's that again?
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Aug 21, 2014 00:35
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Magnus Gallant posted:You are a lazy shithead. Your anxiety is made up by brain cells inside your head. Get over it pussy. Alternatively tell your mom that after a few weeks the poo poo isnt really working out. That the academy really isn't for you
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Aug 21, 2014 02:08
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op should get a gun and go protect this guys house http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3659195
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Aug 21, 2014 02:44
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4 The Cause posted:The lease is locked in for seven months, so me leaving the apartment, would just be a waste of money. I feel like they kind of owe me, because they forced me to go to college right out of high school when I wasn't ready, and that's what led to my first breakdown, and mental illness issues. I also gained a lot of weight from stress eating and depression. I was always in pretty good shape before than, but after that, my body never recovered. I have a question, where are you? You are obviously self sponsoring for the police academy, because typically police departments hire new people, then pay for them to go. Also, at least places I'm familiar with (namely California), you would automatically be disqualified because of your history of mental illness and breakdown, not to mention recent drug history. I'm going to give you advice here that isn't necessarily good, but were I in your situation this is what I might do. Do a little research (like you should have done before blowing your parents money) and dig up police department hiring policies, which will state explicitly that history of mental illness disqualifies you. I would then be semi-honest with your parents. I'd tell them I stopped going when I discovered that I couldn't actually get a job anywhere as a police officer when I finished (show them what you found). I'd then tell them that your anxiety and depression, which you clearly suffer from, kept you from telling them right away. This gives you the opportunity to do the right thing, and soften the blow to your parents. I'd follow that up with mental health treatment. If your anxiety is so bad it keeps you from going to class, you need to be in ongoing treatment. As far as your future goes, you're still loving young... take it from an old man. If you want to work in law enforcement consider things that are related, but isn't being a cop; however, for now, don't loving worry about it. Tell your parents and seek help.
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Aug 23, 2014 03:27
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ZombieLenin posted:I have a question, where are you? You are obviously self sponsoring for the police academy, because typically police departments hire new people, then pay for them to go. Also, at least places I'm familiar with (namely California), you would automatically be disqualified because of your history of mental illness and breakdown, not to mention recent drug history. when i think of the op i think of our future sky marshal
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Aug 23, 2014 03:32
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Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:when i think of the op i think of our future sky marshal Sky Marshals are federal po-po. They have an even bigger stick up their rear end when it comes to what they disqualify you for.
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Aug 23, 2014 03:33
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ZombieLenin posted:Sky Marshals are federal po-po. They have an even bigger stick up their rear end when it comes to what they disqualify you for. lol not that type of sky marshal 
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Aug 23, 2014 03:35
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Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:lol not that type of sky marshal Well, he could join a small rightest party run by a guy with a funny mustache and pretend he's a fighter ace from Vietnam. That's his best shot.
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Aug 23, 2014 03:42
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ZombieLenin posted:I have a question, where are you? You are obviously self sponsoring for the police academy, because typically police departments hire new people, then pay for them to go. Also, at least places I'm familiar with (namely California), you would automatically be disqualified because of your history of mental illness and breakdown, not to mention recent drug history. It's a fake post, the only way someone like this could get into a police academy is if, like the Police Academy movies, they dropped all standards and let any rear end in a top hat wander in off the street. They want pro-active, community oriented people, not reluctant people pushed out of the nest.
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Aug 23, 2014 10:35
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Just walk into your parents' house, stand in front of them as they sit on the couch, and declare "We can ill-afford another Klendathu!"
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Aug 23, 2014 13:16
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Aggressive pricing posted:It's a fake post, the only way someone like this could get into a police academy is if, like the Police Academy movies, they dropped all standards and let any rear end in a top hat wander in off the street. They want pro-active, community oriented people, not reluctant people pushed out of the nest. The thing is that Police Academies are a little less than ethical when it comes to self sponsorship. It's not like real college, it more like a trade school. If you show up and want to "self sponsor," aka give them $21k, they'll take you. Remember with some exceptions, police academies do not guarantee you a job, or even an interview. They just award what amounts to the certification you need to be a peace officer in your state. So, while it still could be a fake post, it's not outside of the realm of possibility that it's real. *edit And there are few restrictions on that certification. It's the individual police departments that set disqualifications for hire. So technically, unless you're a convicted felon, you can be a crazy net job who thinks he's the reincarnation of JesusHitler with tattooed Swastikas on his face who blogs about murdering minorities for white sins, and still get certified to be a peace officer. It's just when you show up to interview and do your background, even the LAPD would disqualify you. ZombieLenin fucked around with this message at 18:43 on Aug 23, 2014 |
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Aug 23, 2014 15:05
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ZombieLenin posted:The thing is that Police Academies are a little less than ethical when it comes to self sponsorship. It's not like real college, it more like a trade school. If you show up and want to "self sponsor," aka give them $21k, they'll take you. That makes sense, and I could easily believe academies would do that, especially if they had a bunch of open spots, though his parents only paid $2100, which, after some googling, is in the normal range for block 1 at police academies.
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Aug 24, 2014 14:27
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Well, your parents seem pretty gullible, so you could always pick one of these bad boys up at your local Toys "R" Us. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=11776575&prodFindSrc=search&cp=
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Aug 24, 2014 14:36
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4 The Cause had always wanted to make his parents proud by joining the police force. A tradition of protecting and serving. His parents are coming down to watch their proud son graduate and join the ranks of the police force. There is just one problem *record scratch* There is just one problem. He isn't actually in the Police Academy. Now while his parents are visiting he must pretend he is in the academy. Watch his zany hi-jinks as he tries to fool his parents while they are there. Starring Rob Schneider. Coming this fall.
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Aug 24, 2014 14:41
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Sotar posted:Starring Rob Schneider. Rob Schneider's still alive?! 
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Aug 24, 2014 15:40
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Mightaswell posted:The real shame here is that the pedophilic, lying, lazy, fat sack of poo poo OP would probably make a great cop.
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Aug 24, 2014 15:44
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Straker posted:he wrote tons of DUIs so I guess he was good at what he did even though that means being a dick and ruining people's lives. I'm not defending all the lovely, corrupt cops in the world, but you ruin your own life if you drive drunk and get a DUI. I knew too many people who've been killed by drunk drivers to have much sympathy for that.
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Aug 24, 2014 16:18
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posh spaz posted:I'm not defending all the lovely, corrupt cops in the world, but you ruin your own life if you drive drunk and get a DUI. I knew too many people who've been killed by drunk drivers to have much sympathy for that. Yeah, of all the things that cops do that I don't agree with, catching drunk drivers is really, really not one of them. Unless he was doing lovely things like handing out DUIs to people who were sleeping one off in the back seat to avoid driving drunk in the first place.
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Aug 24, 2014 18:07
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ThirdPartyView posted:Rob Schneider's still alive?! If you call complaining that he can't get movies made because of "Democrats", then yes.
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Aug 24, 2014 18:45
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ThirdPartyView posted:Rob Schneider's still alive?! Physically, yes. he's a conspiracy nut and 9/11 truther now, so brain deaded
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Aug 24, 2014 19:04
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Eagerly awaiting the OP being unprobated in 25 days so he can respond to all this.
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Aug 24, 2014 19:21
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PT6A posted:Yeah, of all the things that cops do that I don't agree with, catching drunk drivers is really, really not one of them. Unless he was doing lovely things like handing out DUIs to people who were sleeping one off in the back seat to avoid driving drunk in the first place. Also think of it this way, if a cop was good at their job what are the odds they'd be stuck doing traffic? anyway back to thread. I didn't notice OP got probated, that's unfortunate, I was enjoying this thread.
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Aug 24, 2014 21:04
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Aggressive pricing posted:They want pro-active, community oriented people, not reluctant people pushed out of the nest.
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Aug 24, 2014 21:13
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Its not too late to join the Air force my dude. Just dont smoke weed for a month or two and go in as security forces by the time you ship your lease will be up and you can be a cop in the end. And if you really wanted you could marry that 18 year old and get a house. Its like everything you've ever wanted.
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Aug 26, 2014 05:51
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a cop posted:Eagerly awaiting the OP being unprobated in 25 days so he can respond to all this. I knew I had to have something to live for after The Strain introduced vampire guerrilla resistance fighters in a fit of sublime dumbness.
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Aug 26, 2014 07:11
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murder you're family OP
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Aug 26, 2014 12:46
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Doo doo dee doo doo doo doo doo. Doo doo dee doo doo doo doo doo. Doo doo dee doo doo doo doo doo. nana doo doo doo do do.
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Aug 26, 2014 15:17
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Cardiovorax posted:OP couldn't possibly do a worse job than the people they've already got. I forgot how awful American cops are. Between them, your teachers, and hospitals, it's amazing the whole society hasn't gone Mad Max.
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Aug 26, 2014 16:13
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Aggressive pricing posted:It's a fake post, the only way someone like this could get into a police academy is if, like the Police Academy movies, they dropped all standards and let any rear end in a top hat wander in off the street. They want pro-active, community oriented people, not reluctant people pushed out of the nest. Some academies are part of the agency itself. Such as the case with Denver PD. Probably half of the police academies out there are part of a community college, for example, my local community college has an LEO program.
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Aug 26, 2014 17:02
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quote:Party Next Door wrote on Aug 28, 2014 03:25:
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Aug 28, 2014 04:31
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I have to say I am enthralled by this tale.
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Aug 28, 2014 04:31
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Ahahahahaha it took his literal child waifu being pregnant to turn him away from trying to kidnap her and whisk her away back to mom and pop's. Even money on whether her real boyfriend told him to take a hike or if he decided impending motherhood was too gross to handle. Also lol at the celebrity look-alikes.
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Aug 28, 2014 04:53
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I love how the OP runs from any hint of responsibility. OP, what if the kid really is yours. What will you do?
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Aug 28, 2014 05:16
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No way this is real. This is too funny.
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Aug 28, 2014 06:53
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Is anyone else having trouble picturing this guy as black, even though he keeps telling us he's black? For some reason, I just can't picture him as anything other than a doughy white guy, maybe balding prematurely, possibly with a fedora. I guess I associate this particular brand of loser with white guys. The "reality" is jarring, and it's ruining my immersion.
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Aug 28, 2014 09:14
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Centripetal Horse posted:Is anyone else having trouble picturing this guy as black, even though he keeps telling us he's black? For some reason, I just can't picture him as anything other than a doughy white guy, maybe balding prematurely, possibly with a fedora. I guess I associate this particular brand of loser with white guys. The "reality" is jarring, and it's ruining my immersion. he's leaving his baby mama to raise their love child alone just like any responsible black father would
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Aug 28, 2014 10:35
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Since this is Jon Pop, none of this is actually real, though. E/N is his outlet for his fantasies/delusions/literary endeavors, and every time he gets banned, he re-regs. He must have spent hundreds on re-reging by this point.
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Aug 28, 2014 13:08
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