Bookworm posted:

Of course! That's going to be the end of the evil montage.


Yes, that is what it's talking about. When Elodie reads the ciphered message from Briony, she says "Her uncle and his stepfather? Her uncle and her mother?! No wonder she didn't want anyone to know..." Since we know from Kevan's ending that he had a sexual relationship with his stepfather, it is definitely implying that he and Corisande are sleeping together.

This also explains why Kevan freaks out so much of Elodie even asks whether Corisande's attempted poisoner might be justified and why Ignatius is generally so possessive of Corisande at the ball.

Great Joe posted:

obstipator posted:

It was funny in the steam thread when people really wanted to give away free games and poo poo a whole bunch to other goons in order to buy friends, and then Zorak said, no make a new thread for that or I probate youu!, and then all the losers that were buying people free games started crying in QCS and making effort photoshops that included Zorak's av.

obstipator posted:

It was funny in the steam thread when people really wanted to give away free games and poo poo a whole bunch to other goons in order to buy friends

obstipator posted:

It was funny in the steam thread when people really wanted to give away free games and poo poo a whole bunch to other goons in order to buy friends, and then Zorak said, no make a new thread for that or I probate youu!, and then all the losers that were buying people free games started crying in QCS and making effort photoshops that included Zorak's av.

Falsum posted:

Hahaha

Yolomancer posted:

Anime is nothing but cartoons for children. And I don't mean your poor niece or nephew. But Yolomancer! Anime deals with adult themes! How can you say that? Well yes let's look at some of these so called adult themes:

- Hidden untapped potential/powers that will one day be realised when the right conditions are met, with little or no effort or sacrifice involved on behalf of the person who has them
- The over-sexualisation and dehumanisation of women as nothing more than play things to be used and exploited by men
- The implied or direct sexualisation of children
- Excessive, over-dramatised violence used to either solve problems or simply inserted as torture porn
- Disproportionate revenge fantasy played up as a legitimate approach to solving problems. He hurt me in some way, therefore I will kill him and everyone he cares about

Adult indeed. This certainly sounds like a medium that a healthy, well adjusted adult would want to dedicate a lot of their time to consuming

Byde posted:

big into pony porn MLP snuff fanfiction dicks from cosplaying dogs

Byde posted:

You could also say the same for videogames.

Anyway, speaking of terribad LPers there's that FF6 romhack LP whose creator (of the hack, not the LP) turned out to be big into pony porn and his password for some stuff turned out to be named after on a MLP snuff fanfiction.

Also I found out dicks from cosplaying dogs are apparently more gross than pony porn.

Action Tortoise posted:

he posted on an lp thread of his romhack and just casually dropped that bit of trivia too.

Y-Hat posted:

who was the guy that was in the middle of a spiderman video game LP when zorak and slowbeef permabanned him once they got wind of his horrible deviantart page? i forget what was on it, other than it was permaban worthy

there's also a guy who made a short-lived Pokemon Mystery Dungeon LP that was just an excuse for him to post fanfic with him as the star. no action was taken against him though

Action Tortoise posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3294647

woah, probations and bans got new images now.

Y-Hat posted:

ahhhhhhhhhh yes that's the good poo poo

Y-Hat posted:

there's also a guy who made a short-lived Pokemon Mystery Dungeon LP that was just an excuse for him to post fanfic with him as the star. no action was taken against him though

Titty Warlord posted:

obstipator posted:

It was funny in the steam thread when people really wanted to give away free games and poo poo a whole bunch to other goons in order to buy friends, and then Zorak said, no make a new thread for that or I probate youu!, and then all the losers that were buying people free games started crying in QCS and making effort photoshops that included Zorak's av.

Titty Warlord posted:

Spanish Manlove posted:

lmao

Titty Warlord posted:

qnqnx posted:

That's because he also made co-stars everyone else in his hosed up, mentally deficient group of lpers (read: everyone with a combined interest of lps and pokemon).

Y-Hat posted:

how did slowbeef moderate that forum for so long

TheLovablePlutonis posted:

Wormskull posted:

TheLovablePlutonis posted:

TheLovablePlutonis posted:

dancingbears posted:

The whole ninja nations thing is probably my favorite thing about Naruto. How societies form and function when a large portion of people are superhuman is a really fun thought experiment and story idea. There's just so much great background fluff that it breaks my heart that so little gets done with it. So here's what's up and the who's who, because I can't stop myself help me.

Ninja nations are a new idea in-setting. The Third would have been alive to see the first buildings raised in Hidden Leaf, so maybe 70-80 years ago. Before that, ninjas were warring clans, every man for himself. Then the First Ninja President gets the idea to build a city where a bunch of different ninja clans and civilians could live together and hopefully not kill each other, and talks his way into building the thing. Every ninja immediately sits up and takes notice, because nothing will ruin your day harder than when your enemies start working together. So they band up and build their own ninja cities out of self-defense and paranoia.

Ninja nations are mostly mercenary, selling soldiers for everything from babysitting to assassination. Ranking goes from student < baby ninja < midninja < specialized ninja < ninja captain < ninja armykiller < ninja President. At time of writing, with all the stupid DBZ poo poo going down, Naruto and Sasuke are technically still baby ninja. All of the nations serve their country's king, but they run themselves and the king doesn't have much say beyond calling on them in times of war.

Hidden Leaf is the the biggest and strongest ninja nation. They have the most bloodlines and they've won all three ninja wars. Even so, they get a lot of flak for being tree hugging hippies and looking down on the rest of them for their war crimes and poo poo, those stuck-up assholes. Hidden Leaf has a reputation for ninja that look harmless and weird until a fight breaks out, which they will immediately end. Leaf ninja are popular with the civilians for being generally peaceful, and since their civilians were part of the Leaf from the very beginning they trust and look up to and out for the ninja. Leaf Black Ops wear animal masks and get respect for taking all the jobs that eat away at you. Hidden Leaf is in Fire Country, which is mostly forest. They probably had a lot more forest fires before the water ninja wizards had time to be firefighters. It's rich land, which means rich civilians, which means rich ninja. Between the Nine Tails rampage, Orochimaru's Sand/Sound invasion, and the recent Akatsuki attack, Hidden Leaf is severely weakened. They might not be number one anymore.

Hidden Cloud is about to overtake Leaf as the strongest ninja nation thanks to their constant bids for power. They built their armies during treaties and they have an aggressive bloodline recruitment campaign. It's so aggressive that there've been at least two failed kidnappings of Leaf ninjaladies by Cloud, to breed their own clans of special ninja. There's more information on the second attempt, where a Cloud diplomat stole the three year old Hyuuga clan heir and got murdered for it, and the Cloud President demanded the head of the man who killed his ambassador. Third Leaf President agrees to prevent another war. A pointed out in a cutscene they're the only major ninja nation without representation in Akatsuki, and that still holds true even if we expand that list to include all the minor nations I'll mention later, even footnote Hidden Hot Springs. Cloud hates the Leaf for proving consistently stronger than them and for thwarting their land grabs.

Hidden Sand is out in the desert. Harsh surroundings breed hard ninja there. Life's even harder when the King of Wind Country begins outsourcing his missions and support to Leaf instead of Sand. Sand is the smallest, poorest, and weakest of the major nations, but they still have enough clout to get by. Sand and Leaf's history together is the most complex, allies and enemies by turns. Since Naruto befriended and convinced the current Sand President Gary that he's not a demon that exists to kill everyone, Leaf would have to gently caress up pretty hard to lose Sand's support right now.

Bloody Mist only just recently overthrew the Fourth Mist President, who was a Three Tails demon vessel. Immediately after he assumed office, he was ambushed and brainwashed by Tobi/Madara, making him do a bunch of murderous nonsense like executions for failure and mandating that ninja students have to kill another classmate to graduate, and was made paranoid enough about bloodlines that they had a civil war and wiped a bunch of their own bloodline clans out. Accordingly, Mist produces the most traitors and they have a reputation for taking the worst kinds of missions. In fact, they have enough traitors to have an entire department of ninja specifically dedicated to killing them. Had they been anywhere else but on an isolated island, they would've been attacked and subjugated for their weakness years ago. The new Mist President Tits McGee is trying to change all that. The Seven Magic Swordsmen were a big deal to them, but almost all of them betrayed Mist and they have only a few Magic Swords left.

Hidden Rock in the mountains must have a killer propaganda campaign, because their ninja are famed for being tenacious fuckers who will willingly give their lives for the success of their missions. They're big believers in following orders without questions; you have a problem that needs discretion, you should probably hire a Rock ninja. But then, Rock ninja the most selfish and underhanded bastards around. If you hire them, there's always the chance you'll come out far worse from the deal. Rock was a major player in all three ninja wars, and they nurse a patient hatred against Leaf for constantly besting them. I'm pretty sure Rock President Lasergnome is clinging to life solely to wait for an opening to get a pound of flesh.

Hidden Sound was founded by Leaf traitor and Awesome Ninja, Orochimaru. Most of the ninja are genetic and magic experiments. So are a lot of civilians. If you bootstrap hard enough, Orochimaru might give you a hate powered seal and use you as a disposable pawn. Sound is the most spread out of the nations, with secret laboratories hidden in most of the other countries. Sasuke took a swath of Sound ninja out along with Orochimaru, so they aren't too much of a threat right now. Until Orochimaru inevitably revives himself, Sound is led by Kabuto, second in command and almost indistinguishable from Orochimaru in everything but appearance and power.

The terrorist doomsday cult Akatsuki is in charge in Hidden Rain, and the citizens couldn't be happier. Being in the middle of three major nations meant their country was a bloody battlefield in every ninja war. They've developed a strong isolationist policy because of that, attacking anybody who enters their lands. Rain managed to keep such a good blackout that nobody really knows that Akatsuki originates from Rain or that they took over leadership when their elderly dictator President died. The founding members of Akatsuki were war orphans, and their leader Pein likes to make sure his citizens have the peace he wanted growing up. They adore him and are convinced he's a god. Of course, Pein died right before the game starts. Divinity these days.

Hidden Grass wants to be a major nation when it grows up. They've got their own demon vessel and everything, why does everyone keep picking on them?

And the other nations don't matter. Hidden Whirlpool is a gravestone. Hidden Hot Springs was a ninja nation, but they dissolved peacefully.

Can we get a map here? Here, lemme scribble in the names. In the game, they're in Iron Country. I have no idea where that is.

Widestancer posted:

Widestancer posted:

CharlestonJew posted:

did anyone actually ask for these plot summaries or did he just read the words "Naruto" in the OP and immediately 'd the place up?

dancingbears posted:

Dammit. I had some free time and look at what I wasted it on! Here's Naruto Uzumaki's backstory.

Before we begin, a history on Uzumaki. There's been mention of the five major ninja nations, but there were also a bunch of minor nations that developed, too. Hidden Whirlpool was one of the strongest minor nations, led by the Uzumaki, powerful shinobi famed and feared for their incredible sealing knowledge and bloodline, which gives them more HP and MP and recovers both faster, extends the longevity of the ninja who live to old age, and sometimes lets them manifest magic chains that are ideally suited to holding and attacking demons (Naruto doesn't ever get the latter). Around the third ninja war, some of the other ninja nations (Mist and Rock, I think) get so paranoid and terrified of their sealing power they gang up and destroy Hidden Whirlpool, leaving only a few scattered survivors.

The only known Uzumaki remaining are Naruto, Pein (the leader of Akatsuki, gonna kill Naruto) and Karin (the redhead researcher girl Sasuke takes with him when he kills Orochimaru). And Narumom. Narumom was a demon vessel for the Nine Tailed Demon Fox, like her son, but had the magic chains. She also didn't have whiskers, because gently caress consistency. And Narudad is the Fourth Ninja President. Naruto himself only found out about any of this in the last month or so before the game starts.

So it all starts off with plot contrivance. Narumom's Nine Tails seal is somehow weakened by childbirth, so Narudad and a bunch of elite ninja are on hand when Naruto is born. Most of them die when Tobi joins them, and somehow lets the Nine Tails out of Narumom without killing her and then mind controls it to flatten the Hidden Leaf. Narudad sacrifices himself to seal the Nine Tails in his son, knowing his Uzumaki heritage makes him a superior demon vessel and not trusting anybody to contain the demon's power except his own blood. The game doesn't show it, but Narumom charges right the gently caress out of the delivery room and goes to fight the Nine Tails right along Narudad, and she kills herself holding it in place with magic chains so Narudad can do the deed.

The Third Ninja President gets pulled out of retirement to lead now that his successor is dead, and immediately fucks everything up by trying to reassure the terrified people of Hidden Leaf that they're safe now by revealing that the Nine Tails is sealed in Naruto, no need to panic any more! Except that now that they aren't in danger, Hidden Leaf is totally willing to blame all the destruction and death the Nine Tails caused on Naruto. The only bright spot is that it's against the law - punishable by death - to reveal the identity of a demon vessel, so only the adults know. The kids just get warned to stay away from him.

Naruto grows up an orphan. By the time the series starts, he's living on his own and has been for a while. He probably either left or was kicked out of the orphanage. The civilians and a lot of the ninja hate him, but Naruto has the Third's ear so they mostly just limit themselves to ignoring him and yelling at him when he draws attention to himself. The only people who treat him like a person are the Third and a father/daughter duo who run a ramen stand, which leads to his obsession with ramen. Naruto grows up so desperate for attention that he'll do anything to get it, including lots of yelling, practical jokes, dressing in bright colors, and being annoying as gently caress. He really, really wants to be famous and popular and strong, so his dream is to be Ninja President. He's terrible at ninja schoolwork and frequently skips class, and can't do the simplest ninja spells because his bloodline and demon give him so much magic that it's impossible for him to use the small amount of MP to cast them without loving up.

After he fails the ninja graduation exam for the third time, one of his ninja teachers approaches him and tells him about an alternate exam, stealing a forbidden scroll of ninja magic from the Third Ninja President himself. He succeeds through one of his joke spells, which turns him into a sexy, older girl version of himself. Naruto reads the scroll while waiting for his instructor to show up and pass him, and learns the shadow clone technique. It lets him create physical, solid clones that can perform any technique he knows, they can act autonomously, and when they dispel, anything they learned is transferred to Naruto's memory (Naruto doesn't figure out the latter for years). The only downside is that it takes so much magic it'll probably kill you if you don't have enough MP. Naruto has the MP. He spams shadow clones in every fight he's in.

The instructor shows up and tries to kill Naruto. He explains that he's betraying Hidden Leaf, he's taking the forbidden scroll to an enemy nation for a cushy high-ranking position, and he tells Naruto that he's the Nine Tails, which is the first he's heard of the whole thing. He's saved by another ninja teacher, who tells Naruto that he's only the prison of the demon, not the demon itself, apologizes for treating Naruto poorly, and lets Naruto graduate to be a ninja. Naruto spends most of his early ninja career learning poo poo he should've learned in ninja school alongside the audience.

Not too much happens until the ninja promotion exams, where he meets Jiraiya, a famous, powerful, and perverse Leaf ninja who taught Narudad. Naruto is named after a character in Jiraiya's first novel, the only non-pornographic one. Naruto convinces Jiraiya to train him by using his old sexy girl technique, and learns how to summon toads and the rasengan, Narudad's one power move that doesn't involve seals. He also meets the Nine Tails for the first time after Jiraiya throws him off a cliff. The Demon Fox is bitter as gently caress, especially since Narudad changed the seal so it steals the demon's magic and gives it to Naruto, and also locked him down much tighter - it's never going to get the freedom it wants.

Then Sasuke leaves and Naruto gets sent out to travel alongside Jiraiya for three years. They're apparently training, but have very little to show for it at the end. Once that's over, Akatsuki steps up their demon vessel kidnapping plans, and there are a lot of fights killing them off. I'm pretty sure that when the game starts, Naruto just recently drove off a major Akatsuki attack on Hidden Leaf and now has a great reputation.

Ah, I almost forgot! Naruto's greatest attack is talking his opponent out of fighting. His lovely history means he can sympathize with a lot of bitter and angry people, then he uses the new connection he forged to force optimism down the enemy's throat and makes them his friend.

TL;DR Everyone hates Naruto, who responds by trying to get everyone to like him even harder.

TheLovablePlutonis posted: