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May 16, 2024 04:50
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- Plutonis
- Mar 25, 2011
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lowtax merge the LP forum with BYOB
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Aug 20, 2014 19:47
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- get that OUT of my face
- Feb 10, 2007
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hurf de durf it's let's play time
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Aug 20, 2014 20:13
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- conceitedguy
- Nov 8, 2013
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All the let's players you guys are making fun of (except Zorak) are cool and funny.
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Aug 20, 2014 20:52
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- Knuc U Kinte
- Aug 17, 2004
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Me and Zorak are the only cool LPers.
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Aug 20, 2014 23:33
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- Great Joe
- Aug 13, 2008
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All the let's players you guys are making fun of (except Zorak) are cool and funny.
The whole ninja nations thing is probably my favorite thing about Naruto. How societies form and function when a large portion of people are superhuman is a really fun thought experiment and story idea. There's just so much great background fluff that it breaks my heart that so little gets done with it. So here's what's up and the who's who, because I can't stop myself help me.
Ninja nations are a new idea in-setting. The Third would have been alive to see the first buildings raised in Hidden Leaf, so maybe 70-80 years ago. Before that, ninjas were warring clans, every man for himself. Then the First Ninja President gets the idea to build a city where a bunch of different ninja clans and civilians could live together and hopefully not kill each other, and talks his way into building the thing. Every ninja immediately sits up and takes notice, because nothing will ruin your day harder than when your enemies start working together. So they band up and build their own ninja cities out of self-defense and paranoia.
Ninja nations are mostly mercenary, selling soldiers for everything from babysitting to assassination. Ranking goes from student < baby ninja < midninja < specialized ninja < ninja captain < ninja armykiller < ninja President. At time of writing, with all the stupid DBZ poo poo going down, Naruto and Sasuke are technically still baby ninja. All of the nations serve their country's king, but they run themselves and the king doesn't have much say beyond calling on them in times of war.
Hidden Leaf is the the biggest and strongest ninja nation. They have the most bloodlines and they've won all three ninja wars. Even so, they get a lot of flak for being tree hugging hippies and looking down on the rest of them for their war crimes and poo poo, those stuck-up assholes. Hidden Leaf has a reputation for ninja that look harmless and weird until a fight breaks out, which they will immediately end. Leaf ninja are popular with the civilians for being generally peaceful, and since their civilians were part of the Leaf from the very beginning they trust and look up to and out for the ninja. Leaf Black Ops wear animal masks and get respect for taking all the jobs that eat away at you. Hidden Leaf is in Fire Country, which is mostly forest. They probably had a lot more forest fires before the water ninja wizards had time to be firefighters. It's rich land, which means rich civilians, which means rich ninja. Between the Nine Tails rampage, Orochimaru's Sand/Sound invasion, and the recent Akatsuki attack, Hidden Leaf is severely weakened. They might not be number one anymore.
Hidden Cloud is about to overtake Leaf as the strongest ninja nation thanks to their constant bids for power. They built their armies during treaties and they have an aggressive bloodline recruitment campaign. It's so aggressive that there've been at least two failed kidnappings of Leaf ninjaladies by Cloud, to breed their own clans of special ninja. There's more information on the second attempt, where a Cloud diplomat stole the three year old Hyuuga clan heir and got murdered for it, and the Cloud President demanded the head of the man who killed his ambassador. Third Leaf President agrees to prevent another war. A pointed out in a cutscene they're the only major ninja nation without representation in Akatsuki, and that still holds true even if we expand that list to include all the minor nations I'll mention later, even footnote Hidden Hot Springs. Cloud hates the Leaf for proving consistently stronger than them and for thwarting their land grabs.
Hidden Sand is out in the desert. Harsh surroundings breed hard ninja there. Life's even harder when the King of Wind Country begins outsourcing his missions and support to Leaf instead of Sand. Sand is the smallest, poorest, and weakest of the major nations, but they still have enough clout to get by. Sand and Leaf's history together is the most complex, allies and enemies by turns. Since Naruto befriended and convinced the current Sand President Gary that he's not a demon that exists to kill everyone, Leaf would have to gently caress up pretty hard to lose Sand's support right now.
Bloody Mist only just recently overthrew the Fourth Mist President, who was a Three Tails demon vessel. Immediately after he assumed office, he was ambushed and brainwashed by Tobi/Madara, making him do a bunch of murderous nonsense like executions for failure and mandating that ninja students have to kill another classmate to graduate, and was made paranoid enough about bloodlines that they had a civil war and wiped a bunch of their own bloodline clans out. Accordingly, Mist produces the most traitors and they have a reputation for taking the worst kinds of missions. In fact, they have enough traitors to have an entire department of ninja specifically dedicated to killing them. Had they been anywhere else but on an isolated island, they would've been attacked and subjugated for their weakness years ago. The new Mist President Tits McGee is trying to change all that. The Seven Magic Swordsmen were a big deal to them, but almost all of them betrayed Mist and they have only a few Magic Swords left.
Hidden Rock in the mountains must have a killer propaganda campaign, because their ninja are famed for being tenacious fuckers who will willingly give their lives for the success of their missions. They're big believers in following orders without questions; you have a problem that needs discretion, you should probably hire a Rock ninja. But then, Rock ninja the most selfish and underhanded bastards around. If you hire them, there's always the chance you'll come out far worse from the deal. Rock was a major player in all three ninja wars, and they nurse a patient hatred against Leaf for constantly besting them. I'm pretty sure Rock President Lasergnome is clinging to life solely to wait for an opening to get a pound of flesh.
Hidden Sound was founded by Leaf traitor and Awesome Ninja, Orochimaru. Most of the ninja are genetic and magic experiments. So are a lot of civilians. If you bootstrap hard enough, Orochimaru might give you a hate powered seal and use you as a disposable pawn. Sound is the most spread out of the nations, with secret laboratories hidden in most of the other countries. Sasuke took a swath of Sound ninja out along with Orochimaru, so they aren't too much of a threat right now. Until Orochimaru inevitably revives himself, Sound is led by Kabuto, second in command and almost indistinguishable from Orochimaru in everything but appearance and power.
The terrorist doomsday cult Akatsuki is in charge in Hidden Rain, and the citizens couldn't be happier. Being in the middle of three major nations meant their country was a bloody battlefield in every ninja war. They've developed a strong isolationist policy because of that, attacking anybody who enters their lands. Rain managed to keep such a good blackout that nobody really knows that Akatsuki originates from Rain or that they took over leadership when their elderly dictator President died. The founding members of Akatsuki were war orphans, and their leader Pein likes to make sure his citizens have the peace he wanted growing up. They adore him and are convinced he's a god. Of course, Pein died right before the game starts. Divinity these days.
Hidden Grass wants to be a major nation when it grows up. They've got their own demon vessel and everything, why does everyone keep picking on them?
And the other nations don't matter. Hidden Whirlpool is a gravestone. Hidden Hot Springs was a ninja nation, but they dissolved peacefully.
Can we get a map here? Here, lemme scribble in the names. In the game, they're in Iron Country. I have no idea where that is.
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Aug 20, 2014 23:40
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- get that OUT of my face
- Feb 10, 2007
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i love psychedelic eyeball's quebecois drawl
vicas is cool too but he needs to restart the yoshi's story LP
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Aug 21, 2014 00:08
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- discount cathouse
- Mar 25, 2009
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Reminder that hay man is an LP abandoning human being
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Aug 21, 2014 00:39
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- Great Joe
- Aug 13, 2008
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Reminder that Pins is, too, but some of his poo poo is good.
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Aug 21, 2014 01:09
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- Zoq-Fot-Pik
- Jun 27, 2008
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Frungy!
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Reminder that hay man is an LP abandoning human being
Gay Man.
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Aug 21, 2014 01:56
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- Wormskull
- Aug 23, 2009
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Gug Hayman.
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Aug 21, 2014 02:00
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- CharlestonJew
- Jul 7, 2011
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Illegal Hen
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judge reinhold is a funny motherfucker
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Aug 21, 2014 02:15
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- Myrmomancer
- May 31, 2014
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judge reinhold is a funny motherfucker
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Aug 21, 2014 09:01
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- get that OUT of my face
- Feb 10, 2007
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He made some (IMO) bad LPs with some really weird moments and then he ended his Live a Live LP by saying he killed a woman in a car accident and would be busy with the ensuing legal stuff.
End of story.
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Aug 21, 2014 18:45
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- get that OUT of my face
- Feb 10, 2007
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life imitates username
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Aug 21, 2014 23:25
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- Ragg
- Apr 27, 2003
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<The Honorable Badgers>
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I dont care.
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Aug 23, 2014 01:18
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 16, 2024 04:50
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- Nanomashoes
- Aug 18, 2012
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diaper chris and no internet name anthony are funny motherfuckers
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Aug 23, 2014 02:48
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Aug 20, 2014 17:56
'd the place up?
